Xander and the Cakes

Or

Bakery Fun

By

Lancer47

Disclaimer: I'm trespassing on Joss Whedon's turf – but not for profit.

Space-Time Continuum: At the new Slayer Academy in Cleveland, a few years after the collapse of Sunnydale.


"Hey Xander," said Kennedy, "would you mind going by the bakery for me? I'm supposed to pick up a cake I ordered for Willow's birthday, but I can't go – some stupid vampires are screwing with my schedule and I've gotta go help hunt and dust them."

"Ah, sure, I can go. Which store is it?"

"That bakery up on High Ridge Road and Grant."

"Yeah, I know where it is, they've got great donuts."

Xander was wishing he hadn't been quite so accommodating when he parked and saw the line out the door. The place was certainly popular. "Oh well," he sighed, "into the breach once again..."

Luckily, the line moved pretty fast, it only took about ten minutes to get to the front. He handed the clerk a ticket. She looked at it and smirked.

Xander wondered what that was about. The clerk turned and got a cake box from a rack marked 'Special Orders', and handed it to him. "Just a second while I get the receipts," she said, "It was paid for by credit card, but you need to sign for it."

He waited impatiently, he was ready to get going. He idly lifted the lid to see what kind of cake Kennedy bought. He was stunned when he saw what was inside. The sight was so unexpected that his brain froze – it was a good thirty seconds before he thought to close the lid.

The lady next to him said, "That's disgusting young man! You shouldn't display that filth in public!"

"Ah, I, but, ah, it wasn't me that ordered this! I didn't know what it would be!"

"Likely story," said a distinguished gentleman behind him, "depravity, that's what this indicates, depravity!"

By now Xander was blushing with embarrassment as he signed the receipt for the grinning clerk and left. He couldn't forget the image of the cakes in his head though: a beautifully baked rendition of a pair of bountiful breasts surrounded by cupcakes with female external genitalia lovingly sculpted in the frosting.


"Kennedy! Why the hell didn't you warn me not to open this box in public! Geez, I didn't even know they made X-rated cakes! Shit! I won't be able to show my face in that bakery for months now!"

He put the box down on the kitchen table, opened it and snagged a cupcake. He ate half of it before Kennedy could object. "Hey!" she shouted, "that's not for you!"

"It's what you owe me for picking it up. Besides, this is pretty good eatin'." He paused while he thought about what he said, then he smiled. "I didn't really mean it that way, but I guess it fits."

Kennedy just glared at him.

The End