Nancy sat on her bed berating herself. How could she be so stupid? She should never have used her belt on him; he was just a little boy. It just, it had seemed like the right thing to do at the time. He was growing up, and she just didn't think that a grounding him, or even just using her hand would have worked. But it was too much. She'd really hurt him. Silas had never pulled away from her like that after a spanking. She'd fucked up. Bad.
"Come in", the knock on her door shook Nancy out of her thoughts. She straightened herself up, and wiped the tears from her eyes. She was shocked when Silas walked through the door looking more sheepish than angry.
"Hey, Mom. Can I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure sweetie. Come on over here", Silas the bed. He stood on the opposite side, just outside of her reach, making Nancy's heart sink. He was scared of her now? God, what had she done?
Silas tried to get his thoughts together. He knew his mom had to be mad with him for being so stupid. He wanted to go over and hug her right now, let her tell him it was alright, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
"I just, umm. I just wanted to say. About the spanking… I, umm…", Nancy cut him off.
"I know it was too much, and I'm really sorry. I thought you could handle it, but I understand if you want to, you know, hold this against me forever. Just know that I'm really, really, really sorry", she tried to keep herself from crying, but a few tears slipped out. Her son's hurt expression didn't help. He stepped forward a bit, then stopped in his tracks, emotional. Finally after a moment of silence, he spoke.
"I am… like so sorry. I didn't… You shouldn't… I deserved everything you gave me, and Uncle Andy's right. If Dad was here, I would probably have gotten worse. And I'm sorry I hit Shane. I feel really bad about it. And I'm sorry I left. And I'm sorry about being such a dick to you all of today. You shouldn't be crying. I'm sorry I made you cry, and I'm just really sorry, Mom", Silas broke down into tears thinking about all the trouble he'd caused, and all the emotions of that day, and most of all about his mother crying. She never cried. The last time he'd seen her cry was at… God, he was such an ass hole.
Nancy threw the covers off, running around the bed to where her son stood. She wrapped her arms around him, stroking his hair. Feeling him hugging her back almost brought her to tears all over. She kissed the top of his head again and again, whispering comforting words to him until he calmed down. Even after the tears stopped, she held onto him. Finally she heard a muffled sound coming from the boy. She released him enough so that he could speak, with her arms still around him.
"Umm… can I let go now", he asked, reminding his mother once again that he was still a teenager.
"Nope", she said, wrapping him back in a hug. She would have to remember to thank Andy. Maybe he could stay after all.