here's just a little something that i came up with a few days ago. i'm really into the whole family-relationships thing to those of you who read my story "Daddy" for Kendall. This one's "Sister," for James. i might have "Momma" for Carlos, but i don't know if I'll do one for Logan. i don't really likie Logan that much... .

DISCLAIMER: i own nothing but this plut ;_;


I sang into the mic in the small recording booth. I was by myself because apparently Gustavo thought that if I sang alone, I would sound better on the final track because my vocals were just that strong. He was right. I was able to just sing and have no one else drowning me out. I kinda actually liked it better when I was alone. Solo was my choice of career, but the guys helped keep me grounded. I would be nothing without them.

The song ended, and I walked out of the booth.

Kendall, Logan, and Carlos had their eyes trained on me, mouths open in shock.

"What?" I asked. "Are you surprised that I can sing?"

"That well, yes," Kelly answered for them.

I smiled. "Thanks, guys."

Kendall was the first to come out of the temporary shock. "Oh, my god."

My grin just spread some more. It felt good to be on top of the world. Nothing could stop me, except for…

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I heard it ring. People knew better than to call me in the middle of a recording session.

"James?" Gustavo asked, growing even more furious by the second.

"It's my mom, I have to take this! Please?"

"Fine," he growled, and went back to editing my vocals into the track.

"Mom?" I asked when I answered my phone. "Is everything okay? I told you not to call me during rehearsal."

"It's… it's…"

"Are you… crying?"

"James, it's Sarah."


"James! James, come play with me!" My little sister ran up to me with a stack of numerous puzzles, books, dolls, and toys stacked up in her arms.

I smiled at her. "I have homework to do, sweet. I'll play with you in half an hour."

She just dropped everything onto the floor. Her little features folded into her perfected pouty-face. "But you promised yesterday that you would play with me! And the day before that, and the day before that! You never play with me anymore!"

I dropped my pencil on the swirling algebra problems. They weren't grabbing my attention, anyway. "Okay, okay, fine. What do you want to do?"

She looked down at the mess that she had just made. "I don't know. You pick something."

"Well, you picked all of these out for a reason, didn't you? How about the dinosaur puzzle? I know you like that one."

She smiled and giggled. "Okay!" She plopped down next to me on the floor, took off the top of the puzzle box, and dumped all of the pieces out.

"Do you remember what I told you to do first?"

"Find the corners." She started looking through the mess. "Ooh, here's one! Look, James, I found one!" She held it up right against my nose.

"Good job, Sarah. You're getting good at this. Okay, we have the corners. Now what?"

"Get all the straight edged together."

"Yup. Good job at remembering all of this!"

She ended up doing the puzzle faster than I could find pieces. I couldn't believe that my little sister was actually catching up to me.


"What about Sarah?" I asked, suddenly scared for my life, not just hers.

"Well, I'm in the hospital right now, if that helps."

I couldn't think. What had happened? It was summer, and the roads weren't icy.

Nothing could've happened.

Nothing should've happened.

"What happened?" I asked, dreading the possibilities of what the answer could be.

"We were in a car accident. Sarah was in the front seat. She…"

"What happened?"

"She's… she's dead, James."

I staggered backwards against a wall and sunk down to the floor. I tried to keep a hold of myself, but nothing seemed to work. I pressed my phone into my ear, trying to stay alone and unnoticeable. It didn't work very well.

"James?"

I couldn't hear her speak. I was lost in my own little world that had once been my only safe haven from this rotten world. And now, it was ruined, too. I couldn't see past my mask of tears. I was blinded by my body.

"James?"

It wasn't my mother's voice, this time. It was too masculine. I was sure that it was one of the guys, but I couldn't make out the face, voice, or touch.

"James, what's wrong?"

I hid my face. The shame and the grief took hold of me and weren't going to let go. Ever.

My phone was pulled away from me and the guys tried to unravel me from my legs. Maybe it was Gustavo, but he would never touch any of us.

I stayed curled up into a ball, no matter how hard they tried.

I was

frozen still in my little messed-

up world. Nothing was

going right.

Sarah…

Sarah was

dead.

Dead.


It's not such a mean word when you think about it. It just makes you think about how every life at some point will end. Death just comes, knocking at your door, and welcomes you into his not-so-welcoming arms. It's just a synonym for the end, but just in a little bit harsher terms. The Fates take hold of your life-string and snip their magic scissors right through it like it's merely air. Death really has no meaning to it other than the end of time and the beginning of another's life without you.

If Death came up to me and asked to shake my hand, I would let him. That way I would be able to throw him on the ground, bring my pocket-knife up close to his throat, and demand for my sister back.

If Death came up behind me, I wouldn't know he was coming.

Just like Sarah didn't know he was coming.

Sarah couldn't see him. She was too caught up in living her life to notice a little black-hooded figure chasing after her like in a mad car-chase.

She didn't need this.


I opened my eyes slowly. My surroundings were unfamiliar to me. I had never seen the brown leather couches and the mahogany tables anywhere in my life. Where was I?

"James." I saw Kendall crouch down next to me. "How you doing?"

"I… I don't know. What happened?"

"You were on the phone with your mom, and then you just collapsed.

Mom. Mom had called. What had she said?

"Do you know what she said?"

I shook my head pitifully on the black pillow.

"Do you remember your mom?"

I nodded slightly, not really knowing the answer.

"Do you remember Sarah?"

That was it. That was why mom had called. She had wanted to tell me that Sarah was…

Tears spilled from my eyes. I pressed my face into the pillow that my head was resting on and just cried.

I didn't care I anyone saw me. I didn't care if any of the guys saw, or if Gustavo saw, or if anyone from back at the Palmwoods or in Minnesota saw. I wouldn't care if Sarah saw, but she was gone.

"James?" I felt Logan's touch on my shoulder, his cold, timid fingertips barely making a dent in my thin T-shirt.

I sobbed.

"What's wrong with him?" Logan asked over me to Kendall. "I've never seen him like this."

"Except for when he lost his swagger, I know. It's sad. I wonder what happened to him."

"Maybe it was Sarah. When you said her name, it tipped him off."

I sobbed again into the pillow. It was probably soaked by now, but I didn't care.

Things had to be lost.

Tears had to be shed.

For Sarah.


okay, kinda long, but i needed it. there might only be one or two more chapters because this story doesn't have much. but still, EJNOY THE REST AND *LEAVE A REVIEW PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE*!