Disclaimer: Do not own Tin Man, those with problem may kiss my broken butt. Okay, so maybe it's just a badly bruised butt, the sentiment remains.

Author's Note: Insanity is my only excuse, that and maybe lack of sleep.


Tin Man Wyatt Cain was on the verge of going absolutely, positively no ends barred bug crazy nuts with a fit of postal behaviour on top. That he had no idea what any of these Otherside terms meant had absolutely no effect on his mental landscape. He'd been pushed beyond the bounds of paranoia, was one twitch short of a violent seizure, and was a mere thought away from a complete and utter meltdown. This had to stop, it was driving him mad, it was entirely unnatural, something had to change.

DG was behaving herself.

If he told her she was needed in magic lessons, she went; if he told her to pay attention to the council meetings, she did - she could even repeat what had been said; worse still, if he told her not to do something, she didn't. It just wasn't right. He couldn't handle this, whether an imposter or possessed, this was not the DG he knew. Unless she was up to something...except she couldn't be because she'd even obeyed a purposely tyrannical order not to stray out of the guards' sight. And now that he'd gone to confront her about her actions, where did he find her? In the garden with Raw learning to sit still, be quiet and meditate. Right where she was supposed to be. Enough was enough.

"Princess," Cain growled, stomping through a defenceless flowerbed and disturbing the tranquility of nature, "what are you doing?"

"Learning to focus so that I may better let the light flow through me," the youngest princess of the O.Z. replied serenely.

The Tin Man eyed her narrowly. "I thought you wanted to sneak off to see the fair that's setting up outside the city."

"You told me not to," DG replied simply.

"And since when do you listen to what I say?" he fired back.

"Since you pointed out that you were old enough to be my father," she answered obediently.

Cain felt his blood pressure rise just ever so slightly. "Please explain that statement," he gritted out.

"I'm just trying to be a dutiful daughter..."

"What?" the Tin Man exclaimed, thunderstruck.

"Well," she replied innocently, "I just wanted to show how sorry I was for the misunderstanding. I mean, I thought I was pretty well stocked up in the father department, but if you want to be added to the paternity I figured I could accommodate you. I have a biological daddy and an adoptive robot daddy already, but I see no reason why you couldn't be my sugar daddy," she continued sweetly as Cain turned an alarming shade of red. He had no idea what sugar had to do with anything but there was that word 'daddy' again. "I supposed I should set up a schedule," the princess mused, apparently oblivious to the outraged choking of the Tin Man, "that way I can make sure everyone gets their fair share of father-daughter ti-ulp," she cut off abruptly...

...mostly because Cain was darn near crushing her in an entirely ruthless – and heated – embrace, decidedly carnal and not familial at all. Also quite extensive. "I," he uttered in a growling rumble when he finally decided to release her, "am not your father."

"Noted," DG commented dazedly, swaying slightly on her feet, "Do I have to go to my room now?"

The Tin Man let out a strange sound that was part frustrated gurgle and all infuriated howl and stormed away, his hands tearing at his fedora, undoubtedly looking for something or someone to shoot.

"DG devious," the forgotten Raw remarked, watching the discombobulated Cain fling himself through the palace doors.

"DG take psychology course," the princess returned, a dangerous twinkle in her blue eyes, "learn much, get hot man," smirking maliciously she added, "'Much too old' had it coming."