The Next Gen Goes to China
- oneshot, NextGen-

"What do you mean we're going to China?" Lily shrieked, pale, freckled face turning red.

"Just for two weeks," Her father reassured her. "Your cousins are going too. We've been invited by some old friends of ours, and we figured it would be nice for you children to see the world. We're doing you a favour, really- taking all of these children across the world."

"Isn't it halfway across the world?" James added boredly.

"It's called a Portkey!" Ginny yelled.

Albus just pouted. "We'll have to use Muggle money and all, you'll see. This cannot be good."

But regardless of their opinions, the three Potter children and their parents traipsed up to Weasley Hill the next morning, carrying their loaded suitcases. All of the other children were already there, including the Scamander twins, Teddy Lupin, and Scorpius Malfoy, a guest of Albus'.

"I can't believe we're going to China," Molly Weasley babbled, smiling. "I've always wanted to get a glimpse of other Muggle worlds."

"I've already started learning some of the language," Hugo beamed. "Well, Rose taught me. Ni shao shan mi min…zi!"

From beside him, Rose cackled. "No, Albus, you just said you… how many… I don't know. It's ni jiao shenme mingzi?"

Lily just sighed. "Can we just go?"

"Fine," Her father snapped, glaring at her. "Please, can you have a little bit of a better attitude."

Rolling her eyes, Lily placed her hand on the fan, their Portkey. Within minutes, her head began to spin, and pop! She fell on the ground. Well, basically it was the sidewalk. Inhaling deeply, she began to cough from the dirt in the air. What was this?

"The air," Lily coughed. "What's wrong with it?"

"It's Chinese air," Molly informed her proudly.

"Riddled with Wrackspurts," Lorcan advised them. "You'd best watch out."

"More like air pollution," Albus mumbled under his breath.

Lysander glanced around. "Look, it's Chinese!" he yelped, pointing at a big black sign that had the characters 饭店 written on it.

"Well, duh, Lysander," Scorpius muttered, kicking at a stray pebble. "We're in China, what language do you expect it to be, Arabic?"

"No," Lysander replied, but his excitement didn't fade. "What does that say, Rose?"

Whipping out her translator, Rose turned it on, listening to the strangled "ni hao" that omitted from it. Painstakingly, she began to write the character, Molly and Lysander peering over to see what it was. Finally, she told them, "It's fandian, restaurant."

"They have creative names for restaurants here, then," Teddy muttered under his breath, causing his blonde cousin to snicker.

Finally, someone approached them from the side. They yelled, "HARRY POTTER! Is that you?"

"Cho," Harry flushed a nice shade of scarlet, remembering the past awkwardness. "It's nice to see you. And this is your daughter and son, then?"

"Yes," Cho told him. "I married a respectable Chinese wizard, Mr. Wang, so these are our children, Bob and Jessica. Jessica's thirteen and Bob's fifteen."

Bob, a goofy looking boy with a wide smile, waved at them all. However, Jessica just nodded, trying to smile.

"Here, we'll take… a few cabs back to our hotel," Cho announced, glancing at the absurd number of wizards that were gathered around them.

"Cabs?" Lily wrinkled up her nose. "Aren't those for Muggles?"

"Yes," Cho said, clearly in annoyance. "But while you are here, you're getting the full Muggle treatment, get used to it."

Scowling, Lily followed some of them to a cab.

One of the first things Louis Weasley learned about China was that their driving was insane.

Squished into the back of a cab with James, Albus, and Fred, he almost let out a scream as the driver sharply turned another turn. Finally, the guy turned around and smiled at them once they'd reached an intersection. "Ni cong nali lai?"

"What?" Louis turned in confusion to his two cousins, who both shrugged.

The driver tried again. "Ni de guojia…"

"Hey, I got this," James replied, using his best smile. Turning to the driver, he announced, "Tang bu deng."

Shaking his head and trying not to laugh, the cab driver just turned around. Once the light finally turned green, the cab began moving again, going out of control once again. A bus came flying at them, and all of them screamed (except the driver). Thankfully, they swerved out of the way once again.

"We," James said breathlessly. "Are going to die."

Then, without warning, the driver pulled over to the side. He said, "Wo bu zhi dao."

"Tong bu ding," James tried again.

Albus just scowled. "Call Rose or something. She can put that Jessica girl on the mobile phone."

"This bloke is hilarious," Fred announced. "Even though he's plotting to kill us."

"I'll call Rose," Louis volunteered. "Wait...we don't have mobiles, remember? Our parents said that they were too…"

"Muggle," Fred pouted. "As if! His pranks are completely Muggle-like."

Albus added, rolling his eyes, "They want us to stick to tradition."

"Can we owl them?" James suggested.

"Right, because that's not conspicuous at all," Albus replied sarcastically. "An owl, James, he's a Muggle."

Finally, the driver, who had apparently been talking on his phone, yelled, "Wo zhi dao!" The cab began to move again, and Fred cheered.

Once they'd all finally made it back to the house, they dropped off their stuff. However, Cho insisted on hauling the 18 jet-lagged British people out for a traditional Chinese lunch.

"It will be good for you," Cho said, smiling. "Trust me."

So, that's how the 18 British wizards ended up traipsing down the road to a traditional Chinese restaurant.

One thing that they weren't prepared for was the insane amount of stares. It seemed that anywhere they went, they were surrounded by curious glances. Actually, curious was the least of it. Rose Weasley had fooled herself into believing that she would be used to the stares, having been the child of two famous wizards. However, that was nothing compared to this- unabashed, wide-eyed stares, mutterings about her as if they couldn't understand. She could understand, thank you, she was perfectly capable of comprehending Chinese.

"Hongse de toufa," was the basis of most of the mutterings. "Hen duo ren you hong se de tou fa. Weishenme? Zhe ge hen qi guai." So many people have red hair. Why? This is very weird.

She wanted to go up to them and say something, but she had a feeling that wouldn't go over well.

Once they arrived at the table, Rose was shocked to see it was a round table, contrary to the rectangular one she was so accustomed to. In the middle was a turning table with many dishes placed all over it. One pair of chopsticks sat at each place.

Somehow, Rose ended up crammed in between Lorcan and Scorpius. As if they were professionals, Jessica and Bob picked up their chopsticks and began to eat.

Rose just stared at hers.

Beside her, Lorcan was poring over the instructions. Scorpius was gazing at them as if they were alien droppings. A couple of seats down, Lysander was attempting to use them, and splattering soup all over Molly and Dominique.

"Lysander," Dominique admonished. "You don't eat soup with chopsticks, you idiot. There's a spoon right in front of you."

"Oh, right," Lysander replied, clearly embarrassed.

"What is that?" Lily shrieked. In front of her lay a fish, head still attached, eyeballs still intact.

"Oh, yum!" Bob exclaimed. "I love the fish eyeballs!" And without hesitation, he reached his chopsticks into the fish's eye socket and pulled out the eye, plopping it into his mouth. Then he swallowed.

Rose felt bile coming up. Even Harry and Ginny looked horrified.

"They are quite good," Jessica agreed, one of the first times she'd spoken. Her voice was clear and loud, not riddled with the same ridiculous accent as Bob's.

"There's a turtle!" Lysander exclaimed, pointing to the center of the table.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Victoire muttered, peering into the soup bowl. Sure enough, it held a whole turtle.

"That is nasty," Dominique and Victoire said in unison, exchanging grins.

Smiling evilly, Jessica challenged them, "I dare you all to eat a bite of the shell."

"I'll do it!" James yelled, not willing to pass up an opportunity to show off his bravery. Once Jessica had properly removed the shell from the rest of the turtle, she passed it to him.

"Take a bite of the fleshy part," She advised him. "Don't reckon it'll go over well if you try to take a bite of the hard part."

"True," James agreed. Grinning at his 'bravery', he bit into the shell and made a horrible face.

"Is it bad?" Lucy asked, giggling.

"It's not too bad," James replied weakly. "Got anything to drink?"

By the end of the meal, all of them, including Lucy and Hugo, had taken a bite of the turtle shell.

Group 1: Roxanne, Fred, James, Hugo, Bob: Basketball

On one of their free days a few days later, the five kids were lounging around.

"Let's go play basketball," Bob suggested.

"Why?" Roxanne rolled her eyes.

"You don't know how to play?" Bob replied, horrified at even the idea of this.

Fred shrugged. "Well, we know a little. But we're not experts or anything."

"Chinese people really like to play basketball," Bob told them, smiling. "I think they are very good. James! Do you want to play basketball?"

"I wanna play too," Hugo pouted.

So that was how Hugo, Roxanne, Fred, James, and Bob all went to the basketball courts.

Tying her dark brown hair back into a ponytail, Roxanne asked, "So you can just jump into a game and say we want to play too?"

"Yes," Bob replied. Walking over to a group of teenage- looking Chinese girls and boys, Bob said something to them in Chinese. They nodded, and Bob took the ball. Walking back over to them, he said, "We've got the ball first."

"So, wait, is this like Quidditch or something?" Hugo asked innocently.


After they'd been successfully crushed at basketball, they started to walk down the streets, glancing at all of the strange sights.

"Look," Roxanne nudged her brother. An old Chinese man made a hacking noise, sounding as if he was expelling phlegm from the back of his throat, and then spit on the road.

Laughing, Fred simply said, "Ew."

"Not as bad as that one," James nudged Fred's other side. "Check out that bloke, he's watering the flowers."

All of them, except Bob, burst out laughing. A man with his back to them was obviously peeing in the bushes.

"Come on," Bob told them. "Let's get on the bus and go back."

Nodding, they all followed him to the bus stop. However, once they got there, they noticed that it was packed with people.

"We can't just Floo?" Hugo complained.

"Can you Floo without a fireplace?" Bob contradicted. "Really, it's not too bad!"

Bob's standard of not that bad was definitely different from theirs'. Around them, people pressed into their sides, yelled loudly into cellphones, spit, and who knows what else. Once the bus finally came to a stop, Hugo ran off, yelling, "FREE AT LAST!"


Group 2: Scorpius, Rose, Albus, Lucy: Wangba

That same day, Scorpius, Rose, Albus, and Lucy went out exploring.

"What's this?" Scorpius asked as he and some of the others came upon a great big building.

Albus shrugged. "Got a translator, here. Rose, what is this?"

"The characters say wangba," Rose announced proudly. "But, y'know, I have no idea what it means." Once again, she whipped out her translator and began to press buttons.

"Sounds like wangda," Lucy commented. "Rhea taught that to me, it's Korean for isolated."

"So it's isolated," Scorpius beamed. "Maybe like a deserted island paradise! I say we go inside."

The three of them (Scorpius, Albus, and Lucy) began to go inside. Suddenly, Rose caught up with them. "I looked it up. It's not an island paradise, Scorpius. It's actually an Internet bar."

"Bar?" Scorpius' ears perked up as he heard the word. "As in, alcohol?"

"No," Rose rolled her dark brown eyes. "As in sit there for hours and play Internet games."

"Sounds awesome!" Albus and Scorpius exclaimed in unison, exchanging thrilled smiles and dashing through the doors.

"Boys," Rose and Lucy complained in unison, following the boys in.

Once they were inside, they noticed immediately that a dark haze of smoke covered the room. At first, they got on the computers and attempted (failing horribly) to play some video games. However, after a few minutes, they got terribly bored and made their way back over to Scorpius and Albus.

"It's boring here," Lucy complained. "Can we go back now?"

"You two can," Scorpius offered. "Albus and I want to stay here, it's fun."

Sighing, Lucy and Rose exited the wangba, heading over to go buy some chocolate and head home.

Two hours later, Albus and Scorpius appeared, smelling of smoke.

Group 3: Molly, Louis, Dominique, Lysander, Jessica: naicha (milk tea)

"I'm so bored," Dominique yawned, stretching out her legs and depositing them in her older brother (by a year)'s lap. "What do you do for fun, here?"

"Go for milk tea," Jessica replied, interested.

"Milk tea?" Molly perked up, sounding interested. "Let's go!"

Lysander rolled his eyes. "It sounds pretty weird to me."

"Who cares?" Molly retorted. "Would you rather sit here and be bored?"

Reluctantly, Lysander stood up. "Not especially."

After hailing a cab and cramming in, Molly, Lysander, Louis, Jessica, and Dominique appeared in front of a milk tea shop labelled 39° C.

"That's pretty hot," Lysander commented.

Molly glanced over at him. "Who are you, Randy Jackson?"

"Is that from another one of your Muggle TV shows?" Dominique asked disdainfully. Staring at the shop in front of her, she then commented, "Well, it's a small shop."

"It's cute," Molly defended. "I like it."

"Me too," Jessica smiled. "My friends and I go here all the time."

Staring at her as if she was insane, Louis asked, "You don't go to wizarding school?"

Blushing, Jessica stared down at the ground. Finally, she muttered, "I'm a Squib."

Suddenly, her silences made sense. Louis immediately tried to apologize. "Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to, I mean, there's certainly nothing wrong with Squibs-"

"It's fine, really," Jessica told them serenely. "I think it's fine, being a Squib. Well, I can't tell my friends anything about my background… and no wizard kids attempt friendship with me, but still…"

And then, with no hesitation, she marched up to the counter and ordered a round of milk teas.

Molly was the first to try it. "It's pretty good. It has a different tang, of course, but it's nice."

"I like it," Dominique declared.

"It's good," Lysander agreed.

Louis, forever the weird one, let it dribble down his chin before announcing, "I don't like it that much."

"Weirdo," the other three commented, smiling.

Group 4: Lily, Teddy, Victoire, Lorcan: shopping

"You know what I found out?" Victoire exclaimed, running into the room where Teddy and Lily were eating their breakfast. "Shops here in China have much cheaper prices than those in Britain, but they have many of the same products! Oh, we must go!"

"Um…" Teddy trailed off, looking at the table.

"Well, you want to sit here and be bored all day?" Victoire rolled her eyes, and then made them big, blue, and watery. "Please, Teddy? For me?"

"Fine," Teddy gave in. Glancing over at Lily, he asked, "Lily Luna, you in?"

"No," Lily grumbled. "I don't even want to be here, much less go shopping for Chinese products."

Crossing her arms, Victoire asked, "Would you rather be stuck here alone? Even Lorcan is coming with us."

"You're just making the worst of the situation again, Lily Luna," Teddy admonished her. "Just come with us and have fun for a day."

"Fine," Lily gave in. "But I'm telling you now, I'm not going to have fun."


"Do people actually wear this?" Victoire inquired, holding up a pink furry miniskirt with leopard print all over it.

Groaning, Lily shook her head. "I'd suppose so. I would never wear this."

"But this is cute, right?" Victoire held up a baby blue t-shirt with flowers all over it.

"Yeah, I suppose," Lily replied.

Rolling her eyes, Victoire walked over to her youngest cousin. "Lily, you're supposed to be my girl cousin and tell me what's good and what isn't, because Merlin knows those two won't help."

Lily glanced over at the two boys, sitting awkwardly on little plastic stools, and laughed. "Fine…"

But she was cut off by a loud laugh from Lorcan. Teddy called, "Victoire! Lily Luna! Come over here!"

The two girls rushed over to where Teddy and Lorcan were sitting to see a baby's bottom, peeking out through a hole in its pants. Unaware of the weirdness of this situation, the grandmother that was holding the baby smiled at them and made the baby wave at them. The baby looked terrified.

"The baby's cute," Victoire told them, "but the bottom thing is a bit too much."

"Too much information," Lorcan agreed.

To her surprise, Lily started laughing. And once she was laughing, she couldn't stop.

"Looks like our little Lily Luna is having fun, after all," Teddy announced, ruffling her red curls.

"Can I buy that baby?" Lily suggested, grinning from ear to ear.

That night, she went home with a pair of split pants.

Late that night, in the girls' room (they were all crammed into Jessica's room), each of them stated what the previous day had held for them.

"I saw a bloke watering the flowers, got murdered in basketball, and made a new friend," Roxanne announced.

"I had fun," Lily told everyone, seeming surprised.

"I bought a lot of new stuff," Victoire seemed satisfied.

"I made new wizard friends," Jessica pronounced.

"I got addicted to milk tea," Molly giggled.

"I found out what people do in China," Dominique muttered.

"I got ditched at the wangba," Rose pouted.

"I found out how horrible the wangba is for girls," Lucy seconded.

Welcome to China, girls.

Back in the boys' room, they were thinking the same things.

I saw a baby with his bottom exposed, Teddy thought.

I saw a baby with a crack in his pants! Lorcan grinned.

I made a lot of new American friends, thought a happy Bob.

I met a girl, Louis pronounced inside his head.

I found out things can be fun in China, James reminded himself.

I found the wonders of the wangba, Albus dreamed.

I found out that the wangba is not wangda, a self-satisfied Scorpius rendered.

I found all the hilarity of China, Fred smiled.

I got to spend time with the older boys, Hugo rejoiced.

I found out that I like milk tea, Lysander beamed.

Welcome to China, boys.

A/N: well that was random, and so fun to write! It was written for the Becca Rules the World challenge, so Becca, here you go :D, enjoy.

This was not meant to have anything against China. It is just a fun parody. It is all stuff I've observed here, and really I love China to death, I've lived here two years and just love every day of it. It's so interesting here :D

So, yeah, I'm not against the country or anything.

Hope you like it! Please review (R&R, baby)