I do not own warhammer or familiar of zero
Thanks to everyone who reviewed!
Review again and again and again...
Severus's scream of anger was loud. Not just loud as in volume, but loud as in it caused explosions in forty two different parts of the Tristain Academy, all of which promptly fixed themselves and set fire to half of the trees, which burned to cinders in seconds then reformed as gnarled black trees their leaves gone.. Glass windows shattered and remade themselves, and the earth shook as the sorcerer vented his frustration.
"WHY THE FRAK DOES THIS SHIT HAPPEN TO ME! WHO IN TZEENTCH'S NAME DID I PISS OFF? WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO DESERVE TO BE THE PERSONAL SERVANT OF A GIRL WHOSE KNOWLEDGE OF MAGIC COULD FIT EASILY INTO AN AIR MOLECULE AND LEAVE ROOM FOR THE AIR?"
A smaller but equally loud voice replied;
"CAUSE KARMA'S A BITCH ASSHOLE! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR ALLOWING A CHANGER OF WAYS TO GET AMBUSHED BY A BANEBLADE!"
"Shut up Hesk."
"Screw you Severus."
"Love you too witless wonder."
"I'm gonna use your helmet as a litter box."
"By the Architect that was a low blow."
"You done screaming? My ears hurt."
"Yeah I think so. Just one more thing."
"FRAKKING, FRAKKITY, FRAK, FRAK, FRAK, FRAK, FRAKKING, FRAK!"
"You really like to say frak."
"Shut up fuzzball."
"FRAKKING WARP HELLS SEVERUS! DON''T FRAKKING CALL ME FRAKKING FUZZY, YOU FRAKKING FRAKTARD!"
"Who likes saying frak now?"
"You're an ass."
"You're shorter than a grot."
"Don't remind me."
Louise woke up the next morning and screamed. A small black cat was sitting on her chest, a pair of enormous spectacles magnifying its eyes to ten times their normal size.
"Owww!" The small cat moaned. "Why are you frakkers always yelling in my frakking ears!"
The cat yowled in pain again as Louise began to scream once more.
Severus sat outside the dining hall with Hesk, the small cat/daemon loudly bemoaning the agony caused by the shrill screams of Louise, who Hesk referred to as the "sonic blaster plus an amp" while the girl drowned her fright in a large breakfast. As Severus listened to Hesk whine, a second, equally irritating voice broke into the ears of the sorcerer.
"I, Guiche challenge you to a duel!"
Hesk fell silent, his ears pricking up. "Hey, Severus!"
"I think some creepy kid with a flower has a deathwish."
"The imbecile waving the flower at you."
"Oh. Shoot him you think?"
"Nah, set him on fire."
"I do that too much. It's kinda redundant."
"Nah, he's not durable. It'd kill him instantly."
"DID YOU HEAR ME COMMON SCUM! I, GUICHE CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!"
Severus and Hesk froze.
"Common? Oh frak..." Hesk murmured, running up a nearby tree.
"Common? Common? COMMON?" Severus roared, his voice making the flower wielding boy vibrate.
"Erm yes. I, Guiche, challenge you to..."
There was a whoosh of flame, a crack of lightning, the sound of someone being slapped by an incredibly powerful metal hand, a rapid succession of gunshots, and then a scream as Guiche flew upwards once more as Severus swung him by the ankles and let go.