"All the World's Sorrow"
By Amanda Swiftgold

Letters Three

To Freya Crescent from Amarant Coral

Hey, is everything going okay? You haven't written back yet, and I feel like a fool for doing this, but I figured I'd send this just in case. The moogle here says it'll get it to you right away but if you're already on your way back feel free to hit me when I see you. I already feel like some naggy housewife so I guess I'll shut up now.

Oh, yeah, if that Fratley's taking the news badly or something let me know and I'd be happy to explain things myself, if you get my meaning. We've got places to go.


To Freya Crescent from Zidane Tribal

Hi, Freya, I just got your letter. I wish I knew what to tell you, I really do! I've known you for a while, you know, but I guess I can't tell you how to feel. And I don't want to pick sides, either, but I bet think you probably already know what side I'd pick anyway.

I will say that I hope I see you coming back here anyway, though I hope you will have good news and not bad, of course. I'm not helping at all, am I? It's not even funny, I knew what to do for Amarant but I don't know what to do for you.

He's been seriously antsy lately, too, always looking out the windows and the like, it's weird. Oh, I know he acts funny around me lately anyway because I read that book of his and now he thinks I have something on him, maybe, that I'm going to tell all his secrets. But Freya - you know how he feels. Dagger thinks he misses you, I guess it's true. And I know this is hard for you, it has to be very hard, doesn't it? But it will be hard for him too and I know you know that.

I just can't tell him for you. It's not really right, you know? But you've got to tell him, I'm sorry but - you do. I wish I could help you anyway. I'm sorry.


To Amarant Coral from Freya Crescent

I am very sorry that I haven't replied to your last letter until now. It's just that there are some things that have happened and I must admit I am not very sure what to do about it all.

I don't want to be writing this, I don't want to be writing this to you but I can't avoid it now, can I? I have done a lot of thinking, so much, and I don't want you to feel that I came to this lightly.

I am sorry, Amarant, but Fratley has asked me to marry him and, I am sorry, but I think I will say yes. This is not because of you, please don't think that it has anything to do with anything you have done. My people are a mere fragment of what they used to be, we are wiped out and scattered and they have no one else to look to, you see? He and I are the strength and the backbone and they need us. Both of us, this is how it is, and I am so sorry to do this to you. I hope you forgive me and can believe when I say that I do care about you. But things can never be simple, can they?

Oh, I can't write this anymore


To Freya Crescent from Amarant Coral

Tell me you were joking, Freya. Why the hell did you send me something like that?

Are you some kind of goddamned idiot? What are you trying to pull on me? I still remember what you told me that night you fell asleep on my shoulder, that you are so sure he doesn't really love you, that he's only with you out of duty, and yet you're wanting to marry him now even knowing that?

I don't think I know you anymore. Or maybe I never did. And maybe you think you know me too, you think you know everything about me just because I let you read what I wrote, but you're all wrong. I don't think you know anything. If you aren't happy then you get the fuck out, you don't just stay there for his sake. You don't.

What are you thinking? I know you're not happy, I know it, unless everything you told me then was a lie, that I was dumbfuck blind and you weren't back in Alexandria soaked wet with hollow eyes because you were unhappy.

Do you think this will make me disappear? I'm coming to Burmecia. I'm coming there, Freya. I think this Fratley has a lot to answer for, you get me? And he's going to answer to me. After that, whatever. I don't care. It's your life, isn't it? Always has been, forget anyone else, it's whatever Freya wants. Whatever you want.

Fuck, no, I'm not going to stand for it. You don't mess with me - you don't mess with me.

I thought you were strong. I guess I was mistaken.