[Author's Note: Pay attention, this is the last time I tell instead of show!
It is eventually decided that Kohaku's device is too dangerous to keep. Everyone is in agreement, even Shiki, who never did find a way around his eye problem. (Pity the poor man.)
Rin returns to Fuyuki to return to Shirou. I could never decide which of the routes to follow in the "Real" world segments, so I never knew who Shirou was with. Well, I said Saber originally, but she died, so . . . uh . . . let's just leave it at that.
After that is settled, Kohaku throws out the device into some junk yard. She couldn't bring herself to destroy her baby, but she did let it go nonetheless. Shortly after being abandoned, the tv with the mysterious tubes and cables flickered on by itself, one last time.]
A training dojo was visible. A waterfall could be heard, as well as the sound of birds chirping. Nothing could disturb the tranquility of-
"-GOOOOOOOOD MORNING TYPE-MOON FAAAAAAAANS! I, Fujimura Taiga-sensei, am here to congratulate you on coming to the end of Endless Number of Possibilities by xm0123!"
At her side was Ilya, "Osu! This project ran longer than I thought! How long has he been writing these again?"
Taiga held up her index finger, "Since late 2010. However, I am saddened by this conclusion. He went all this time . . . and he never featured me in anything!"
Ilya spoke philosophically, "Well, considering how many characters there are in Fate alone, it can't be helped. Fanfic authors are a kind of artist, and good artists never use more tools than what is necessary. Take music, for example. You know how some music is labeled, 'overproduced', as in it has more instruments going off than is needed? It's like that; he didn't want to overproduce any of his fics."
Taiga said, with waterfalls of tears streaming down her face, "But I was going to be featured in his first fic! I still would've have been Shirou-kun's English teacher in that reality, but he cut me out entirely, saying, 'your scene added nothing to the plot, i.e. it was filler, and we all know how I feel about filler.' UWAAAAAAH!"
Ilya reacted, "Ye-ouch! I at least got to be in two stories . . . even if I wasn't myself throughout most of the Umineko ripoff. Hey wait, I'm supposed to be xm's second-favorite character from Fate/Stay Night; why wasn't I featured moreǃ?"
Just then, a warning bell sounded off. The scene was now a classroom, attended by Ciel-Senpai, "That's because you don't come from his favorite section of the Nasuverse. Although I do."
Taiga and Ilya were now in the classroom. The tiger sounded off, "Oh what? That gives you authority over how Endless Number of Possibilities was handled?"
Ciel said, "Not necessarily. I was just pointing out the truth. Although I will say, most of these stories were AU fics, weren't they? The only one that actually was based on canon was Grief is the Fuel of Vengeance, which was a continuation of the Heaven's Feel Normal End."
Taiga chuckled, "Hey, you know that phrase, 'Heaven's Feel'? That sounds like an attack name from a fighting game!" She then did a flying jump kick, "HEAVEN'S FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!"
Ilya sighed, "Thanks for upholding the tradition of my family, Tiger. But yes, I imagine you were aware of what Grief is the Fuel of Vengeance was about, since you did show up in that, huh Senpai? But I gotta ask, is it just me, or was that fanfic basically The Boondock Saints but with the Tohsakas replacing the protagonists?"
Ciel murmured, "Not quite. If it was like that film, I imagine there would have been a lot more colorful metaphors in the dialog than what was in the final product."
Ilya reminded everyone, "Oh, I just thought of something; doesn't xm know about Garden of Sinners too?"
The scene was now a city at night. A super deformed Ryougi appeared, "Yes he does. However, he didn't read the novels until 2011 to 2012-ish, and even despite how much he enjoyed (parts of) my series, he remarked that my series had the weakest characterization between it, Tsukihime, and Fate."
Taiga shouted, "HA! That's one way Fate beats your series!"
Ryougi said, "Perhaps, but then again, it might explain the lack of Garden of Sinners characters in his stories. In fact, think about it, there's a lot of characters he didn't feature: Nero Chaos, Riesbyfe, Sion, most of the Fate/Zero cast (due to lack of knowledge of F/Z prior to its anime streaming), Kirie, Fujino, Luvia, the list goes on."
Suddenly, the scene shifted to the back alley from Misaki City. A tiny cat man with gray hair and a cigarette in hand showed up, "You're right. I never appeared in his fics myself, and unlike with Taiga, he never had any plans for me to begin with. Bastard."
Ryougi deadpanned, "That's because you're too simplistic. Complex characters work in AU fics better than cardboard cutouts."
Another cat thing appeared, this one with blonde hair, "She's right, nya! And yet, even despite that, my proper form appeared a few times, nyah ha hyah~!"
Nero Chaos said, "Well could I have at least have been in more than just this last segment? What about my fanbase?"
Just then, someone stepped in, "Good question. This party is mostly women and children, no, let me rephrase that, it's all either women, children, . . . or fakers."
Chaos turned to Gil, "But I thought you liked women."
Gil laughed, "In my life, before I learned true taste, I would take any female I felt was mine. Nowadays, I only want obstinate women like you-know-who." He then formed his hands into fists, "AND SHE'S NOT HERE! IT'S JUST WOMEN (minus Seiba), CHILDREN, AND FAKERS!"
Taiga said, "Gah! This segment is already getting flooded with characters! You were right, Ilya! We can't have too many people at once!"
The scene then shifted to the Tohsaka mansion. A super deformed Sakura slowly walked in, "Um, excuse me, is the the wrap-up party-WHAH!"
Right then, a super deformed Saber riding on top of a lion shot by, with a super deformed Rin, with cigarette in mouth, not far behind, "Outta the way, sis! It's party time!"
Sakura changed into her dark form, "Oh no you didn't, bitch!" She charged at Rin, until-
-"HALT!" Saber stood between the Tohsakas, "There will be no violence here! We have come to congratulate xm0123 on moving on to writing original fiction, now, let us do so properly."
Rin looked at Saber, "Dude, calm down. We weren't gonna kill each other. (We tried that already in Heaven's Feel.)"
Saber, still looking as stern as ever, said, "If you must resort to sibling rivalry, wait until after the ceremony. Now then," She held Excalibur, and spoke like she was giving a speech, "Oh brave scholar, may your tribulations lead you to endless bounty, and your table always filled with the essentials of life!"
Tohsaka deadpanned, "In other words, you hope he'll be rich and always have food, huh? That's just like you, always thinking about food."
Saber gently smiled, "You know me too well, child of Tokiomi."
The scene was now a field of grass. A normal-sized Aoko with red hair appeared. "I'm not too late, am I?"
Ilya greeted, "Ah, welcome back, Aoko-senpai! Say, did you change your hair back to red?"
Aoko flicked her hair back, "Well, yeah. I thought I'd get back at xm-chan for shafting my appearances. You see, I was going to be the partner in Professor Zel Returns, but he said, 'I understand Sakura better, but I'll let you get a cameo.' Guy thinks I look better with muddy hair, so I changed it back to red, just to mess with him."She then looked at the other guests, "Oh, have you noticed something about us? Look at all the people present. Except for Nero and Gilgy, we all have one thing in common."
Neco-Arc blurted, "Vadges!"
Aoko smiled, "Precisely. And do you know what other fanfics he's done? He's done many for the Touhou Project."
Rin gasped, "Why, that's nothing but magical girls!"
Aoko continued, "He also did two Blaz Blue stories. Now, the gender split in that universe is pretty even, but both of his stories star females. And guess where his newest project takes place? A series that is, that's right! Mostly starring young females skilled in magic!"
Taiga stood with shinai in hand, "By the heavens! We've been played by a genuine girl-crazy man who's not old enough to be reasonably impotent! We've all been manipulated by a grade-A otaku!"
Aoko suddenly gasped, "What are you doing!" She ran to cover Taiga's mouth, "You're not supposed to ever call him the O Word!"
Taiga mumbled (coherently somehow), "Why not? Why's it so bad that even you, of all people, would be scared? I can deal with whatever consequences may come!"
Rin shouted, "IDIOT! As much as he likes Japanese culture, he still doesn't qualify as an otaku, and he takes great offense at anyone who thinks he is!"
Saber stepped in, holding an invisible sword, "Everyone, stay still. Be prepared for the worst." Her eyes blazing, she gripped Excalibur even more tightly. After a minute, crickets were chirping in the distance. Saber's face softened, "Do we even have a threat to begin with?"
Ilya commented, "Huh. That's strange. I heard that this author would fly into a rage if you insulted him in any way."
Taiga, having broken free from Aoko's grip, said, "Or maybe he just didn't hear me. XM IS A WEEABOO, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!"
Nothing happened still.
Just then, in the distance, the loud mooing of a steer-driven chariot could be heard. Out stood a giant of a man . . . and a short boy, "Ugh, I haven't had motion sickness like this for years." The boy muttered.
The man shouted, "Reel not from your troubles, kiddo! In due time, your body will improve from the rigors of travel, thus rendering you immune from this 'motion sickness'!"
Gilgamesh looked downtrodden, "Oh look, more fakers to spoil the fun. What business do you have here, Iskander?"
Iskander boasted, "The same as everyone else! To enjoy the spoils of war!"
Gilgamesh, still not wavering (LOL PUN!), said, "Is that so? Are you sure you and the boy aren't just some last-minute addition to show the fact that the author's favorite thing about the 4th War was you two?"
Iskander let out a loud, boisterous laugh, "HA HA HA HA HA HA! Don't read in too much on the meta-implications of such a thing! Today, we feast! You were said to be the caterer, so why complain?"
Gil sighed, "Fine. For now, I shall provide the original feast of heroes."
The scene was now a large extravagant banquet hall, filled to the brim with every kind of food and drink imaginable. The crowd was awed by what they saw, Saber particularly, "Oh Gilgamesh! If you had shown me this during either war, I would have sided with you in a heartbeat!"
Rin laughed, "Eh heh heh heh! So all this time, the fastest way to a woman's heart is the same method to a man's heart? You must be kicking yourself right now, aren't you, Gil?"
Neco-Arc's eyes lit up, "Hamburgers! I finally found more!"
She and everyone else dug into their meal of choice.
[Second Author's note: Alright, that's enough weirdness for one day. Welcome to the end of another fanfic series of mine! I'm surprised you made it this far! After a year and a half of all sorts of shenanigans, I'm bringing Endless Number of Possibilities to a close.
This was largely experimental. I wanted to flex my writings muscles, seeing how many disparate situations I could write out involving Type-Moon characters and settings. Suffice to say, I've worn out my mind. Some of these are now embarrassing to look back at. Am I really that obsessed with Umineko? But it was fun, all the same. I got to try out many different characters. Oddly enough, the easiest Type-Moon character for me to write was Rin. Which is weird, since I don't have a lot in common with her, but she is my favorite Fate character, so maybe that explains it.
Even though I'm now taking a stab at writing my own ebooks, I do want to go back to the Nasuverse. I have two other ideas for Nasuverse fanfics, two other "plot bunnies" if you will. One of them is an episodic comedy I call Rider and Waver (Not a Porno). The description goes like this: the streets of Fuyuki City are rife with crime and corruption! The police cannot handle it alone! That is why Commissioner Kotomine calls upon . . . Rider and Waver! Dun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun Dun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun RIDER! Armed with the Ridermobile (a motorcycle with sidecar for Waver to suffer motion sickness in), and various Noble Phantasms, the unlikely dynamic duo combats the dastardly fiends who would dare disrupt the peace of Fuyuki!
Yeah, as you can see, it wouldn't take itself seriously at all, but that's not my only idea. I have an idea for another Nasuverse fanfic that goes like this: Fate/Extra, but written by me. Well, let me describe it better than that. I feel like doing a redux of F/E; a Holy Grail War breaks out, it's all in a computer, something goes wrong, hero or heroine must fix it with help with a Servant. The thing that's different is this: all of the Servants are not based off mythologies, but rather, the "popular" arts; movies, television, literature, et cetera. Part of this would be an excuse to create Servant versions of some of my favorite fictional characters, but it was just something I thought of.
The Masters would all have to be OCs. Seven total, with seven Servants, much like the original FSN. I've already decided who Saber would be (because the main protagonist Master will use a Saber), and I've got candidates for the Lancer, Caster, and Berserker positions. All the Servants will come from unique settings. This is so I don't spam all the positions with characters from, say, Star Wars. I am aware that AU versions of Fate characters show up in F/E. I will do that in my own redux. I already decided who the main protagonist's homeroom sensei is; an AU version of Irisviel. Okay, I blame those shorts that come with the Fate/Zero blu-rays, but I just gotta get some Einzbern-brand fanservice in there!
But who knows when I'll ever write these out? If I ever write these out? It may be a while before I could write anything for the Rider and Waver idea, and it could be years before you see the F/E idea. So, for now, don't expect anything else from me concerning Type-Moon fanfiction.
I guess I'll end this by saying thank you to anyone who actually read all of these. You are what makes my efforts worthwhile. For those who have played Melty Blood Actress Again, you might know one of the ending credit songs, "Everlasting Destiny." I want you to fade out with you playing that sexy, sexy piece of music on full volume. And once again, I must go now.]