Here I lie on the Geonosian sands, a tough life leaving me. I was never really known amongst the jedi order, I was known solely as the padawan of one of the members of the jedi council. I was a good padawan and always did as I was told, and the respect I got was from my Zabrak master.
I am Tan Yuster. I do not regret my life, but I do wonder what it would have been like to have lived a different life, have known my parents… to feel loved by somebody. I am dying, and I think it is sad that I have never known that emotion. Of course, I would never have dared to challenge the Jedi code or the Jedi order, but is it ok to wonder about what we might be missing out on?
I have no fear of dying, and no-one is to blame for my fast approaching death. It is now three minutes since the blast hit me in the stomach, and I am not sure if my master has noticed what has happened. With gunfire and innocent blood spilt from Jedi in every direction you look, how is he supposed to notice me against all of the other many Jedi corpses and battle droid pieces? I am dying because of a wound to my stomach, and I may not have gotten it if I hadn't been separated from my Master. Then again, how were we able to remain together amongst all of the chaos? A few moments later amongst the fighting and I received a blast to the stomach that has put me into the state that I am in now.
Why am I scared? Surely there is no end; surely the soul lives on after death, so why do fears of dying enter my mind? Am I not being true to all that I have ever known, the sacred truth of the jedi code? Some say it is only human to be scared, but fear does not taunt a jedi. Does that mean that I am not a proper Jedi? Did I break the rules at some stage? Have I disappointed my Master, Agen Kolar? Have I disappointed the order itself, and will they be glad to be rid of me? I feel like a failure, but I mustn't; my master has always told me to avoid such dark thoughts. So I lay here war going on all around me with jedi fighting machines made for war. The jedi versus the war machines. It should have been easy for the jedi, except for the sheer numbers. Jedi are not all powerful. No being is. But to lose so many… it pains me, and I only add to the number.
My eyes are heavy. It is hard to breathe. My time… has… come…