Author's Note:

Okay, this was a challenge I found on LJ and I thought I'd give it a try since it sounded fun. One of the themes isn't what I did, but I decided that I was going to do my own themes since that'd be a bit easier. Not to mention more fun. ^^

So, the challenge was to make a story consisted of ONLY dialogue. So if this gets confusing in any way, BLAME THE INABILITY TO DESCRIBE ANYTHING!

That will be all.

I don't own Soul Eater. But I should. I really should. ^w^

"Maka, how many drinks have you had?"

"As high as I can count!"

". . .Which is?"

"Eh. Seven."

"Dear Lord, Maka!"


"We're going home now. And from now on, you are no longer allowed anywhere near alcohol."

"B-bu', Soul-kun! I wan' som' more! Please~"

"No and - dammit, Maka! Stop unbuttoning your shirt!"

"Bu' it's so hot in here!"

"That tells me that you've definitely had too much."

"Bu' I've only had nine!"

"Nine? But you said seven!"

"I changed m' mind."

"I'm going to go bald by the time I'm twenty if I keep talking to you."

"No! Your hair's so pretty!"

". . .Pretty?"


"I don't think I - Maka! Put the glass down now!"



"I jus'-"


"You're no fun!"

"Says Little Miss Bookworm."

"Am not!"

"Yes you are."

"Do I look like a worm or a book to you?"

". . ."

"I didn't think so."

"Maka, I'm going to take you home and put you to bed with-"

"You're so sick!"

"Not like that, baka!"

"I can' believe you would try to do somethin' like tha'!"

"Maka, I was not nor will I ever-"



"Aaaaaah! Now he's going to kidnap me!"

"Maka, calm down and stop shouting."

"Get off you freak!"

"Quit squirming! You just elbowed me in the ribs!"


"Oh for the love of Christ!"


"Nothing to see here people. We're just experiencing some - GODDAMIT, MAKA! THAT EFFIN' HURT!"

"And I'll kick you again if you don' put me down!"

"I swear, I don't know why I deal with you sometimes."

"It's 'cause you looooove me!"

"You wish, Tiny Tits."

"They aren' tiny!"

"Sure they aren't. . ."

"I'll show you proof!"

"Wha'? Holy shit, Maka! I told you to keep you shirt buttoned!"

"Bu' you didn' believe me."

"Put your shit back on."

"Do you believe me?"

"Shouldn't you be wearing a bra?"

"I was."

"Then where is it?"

"Some guy at the club wanted it."

"You're never drinking again. You'll never even see alcohol again."

"That's no fair!"

"I don't care! And you really should put your shirt on before someone notices!"

"Don' act like you don' loooooove it~"

"Maka, it's either you put the shirt back on, or I put it on for you."

"Is tha' a promise?"


"Fine! Sheesh! For someone so cool you sure act gay."

"Say what?"

"Gay guys don' like tits."

"Don't say that!"



"Bu' you say it!"

"I don't care."


"Maka, would you shut up?"

"You didn' deny it!"

"Just shut up! Stay quiet until we get home."


"I'm not playing with you, Maka."

"Bu' you wanna."


"You wanna play with me."

". . .Maka, quit acting like a prostitute."

"That's mean!"

"But you are!"

"I'll show you how a prostitute acts!"

"What? Maka!. . .Get away from him! Oh shit. Maka! Get. . .off him!"

"Hey lemme go!"

"Sorry, dude. She's being really dumb."

"He was enjoying it."

"Maka, never do that again."

"Bu' he liked it!"

"So? You don't go around grinding random people!"

"You're jealous~"

"And why would I be?"

"You wan' me to grind you instead."

"You're crazy."

"Am I?"

"Very. Hey, what are you -"

"You were sayin'?"

"Maka, this is not the. . .time or the. . .place to do this."

"And who said tha'?"

"I - oh shit! Maka!"

"You like it?"

". . ."

"You like it, Soul-kun~"

"Just shut it."

"Mmmm. . .Soul-kun smells good."

"Maka stop!"

"You don' wan' me to."

"Yes I - what have I said about taking your shirt off?"

"Wha'? You sayin' you don' wan' these?"


"Soul-kun's blushing!"

"Am not!"

"Soul-kun's so cute!"

"Maka, stop this. Right now."

"Make me."

". . ."

"Knew it."

"Maka, stop. . .nggh!"

"Oooo~! Soul-kun likes?"

"Stop it."

"So you don' wan' me to fix tha' boner of yours?"

"Could we just go home?"

"Wha's wrong with here?"

"We're in public and someone could see us."

"Let 'em see."


"Just give in, Soul-kun. You know you wan' it."


"Ssssshhhhh. I's okay."

"Nngh! Maka!"

"Mmmm. . .This is gonna be fun."

Author's Comments:

The scenario above is the exact reason why no one should enter my mind. Because it's a LOT worse in there. This is only a whiff of it. Me writing a lemon would only be a taste. Actually asking what's on my mind is getting a crumb (since I never tell all). But being able to go in my mind is THE WHOLE ENCHILADA! :D

Oops! Drank too much anti-freeze! XD

Anyways, I was wondering if I should do a sequel for this? My friends want me to continue it, but I'm not too sure. :/ In fact, one of my friends suggested that she gets pregnant. My response (word-for-word): "JORDAN! Don't say things like that! They're too tempting. owo"

I love my friends. :)

But seriously, should I? If I do, the next chapter will be where she's hungover. If you think I should, why not throw in a few suggestions while you're at it?

So, for absolutely no reason at all, I will include a little list for you guys! :D

What I got to include in this story:

"Gay guys don't like tits."

"This is gonna be fun."

"You don't go around grinding random people!"

Maka drunk! :D

Jealous!Soul ^-^

Alley smex. :)

"I changed my mind."

"Is that a promise?"

"I'll show you how a prostitute acts!"

"Shouldn't you be wearing a bra?" "I was." "Then where is it?" "Some guy at the club wanted it."


What I did not get to include:



A drunk Black*Star

Skimpy clothing :(

Smut :(

"Holy mother fucking shit!"

"I will have sex with anyone who [insert request here]"




Horrible karoke

Smut :(


"OHMIGAWD! A penny."

"My clothes seemed to have disappeared."


Emo people





Stein without a shirt

Stein sweating without a shirt


"And this isn't normal to you?"






"It's not rape if you like it."

"That's what she said."

"Rape is just surprise sex. . . . . . .SURPRISE!"


and this list could keep going and going and going. . .

But don't worry childrens. I will inlcude this stuff in later stories. :)

Lastly, the spelling mistakes throughout the story? That was Maka's slurring. X( I'm horrible when it comes to drunk slurring.

Until next time~!