A/N. Sunday night I had on iPod on Shuffle and I was searching for song lyric that I could use for C7 of 'September'. 'Into the West' by Annie Lennox came on and I just had to write this. It's the most beautiful song I have ever heard and I strongly suggest that you listen to it while you read this story. Thanks once again to my soul mate Lauren for brainstorming with me! I don't own anything.
"It's like a monsoon." Logan grumbles as he leans forehead, straining to see out the windshield into the dark, rainy night. "I didn't hear the weather men say anything about it raining this hard, did you, Kendall?"
Kendall frowns and shakes his head. "Pull over as soon as you get the chance, Logan." He says quietly. "This isn't safe to drive in."
Logan nods in agreement but they're in the middle of the highway with no shoulder to pull over to. He bites his lip anxiously and grips the steering wheel with both shaking hands until his knuckles turn white. The visibility sucks because the rain is falling harder and faster than the windshield wipers can clear it away despite the fact that Logan has them going at top speed.
Beside him in the passenger seat, Kendall watches in tense nervousness. He's used to being able to fix things or get himself and his friends out of trouble but this is a new danger to him. It's very real for one thing and he's helpless to do anything at all. He wants to say something to maybe help Logan relax a little bit but he knows that the other teen needs to concentrate. So he's quiet as they drive on.
The car slips and slides a little as drive through a dip in the road and Logan gasps in alarm. But the immediate danger passes as quickly as it came and Logan lets out a deep breathe in a sigh of temporary relief. They pass a sign and the relief is doubled. "There's an emergency pull off ten miles from here." Logan tells Kendall even though he knows Kendall saw the sign as well. "When we get there call your mom and let her know that we're-"
Logan never finishes his sentence. The car jerks violently as they hit another dip, sending a wall of water shooting over the windshield, completely blinding the two boys. The steering wheel seems to wrench itself out of Logan's iron grasp and then careen wildly, out of control across the deserted road.
Terror closes up Kendall's throat and he can't speak or even breath. He shuts his eyes tightly as they continue to spin in dizzying circles. There's a rough jerk that stops the spinning and Kendall smacks his head hard on the window. But they still don't stop until the vehicle meets a tree with a deafening crash.
Above the crash, Kendall can still hear a loud crack and the sharp pain in his leg tells him what happened. He grinds his teeth together in an attempt to keep from crying out but a groan escapes from between his lips and tears pricks the backs of his eyes. His leg is obviously broken and he can tell that the wet substance that mats his hair down and coats the side of his face isn't just rain. Kendall has played hockey virtually all his life so he's no stranger to pain. But fear is outweighing his pain. "Logan?"
There's no answer and the pain ceases all together. Don't panic. Kendall tells himself, but the order isn't working. He turns his head to the side, barely feeling the throbbing in his leg and his head and all throughout his body. "Logan," He pleads in a whisper.
Logan is unconscious but Kendall can see his chest rising and falling and it's enough to calm him down so he can think. There's an odd burning smell and Kendall knows enough to realize that the car isn't safe. Get out and then get Logan out. Surely he can do that even with his broken leg. He has to.
Kendall's fingers fumble in the dark for the door handle and swings it open rather easily. The car is tilted so that he's further to the ground then he would like but Kendall doesn't take time to think about how much the slight elevation will cost his leg.
He tries to ease himself out on his good leg but he slips and falls on a patch of mud. A cry of pain is torn from him and Kendall clutches wildly at anything that will keep him awake. He can't lose consciousness. He has to get Logan out and then he has to get them both away from the car that's now a ticking time bomb.
It feels like it takes ages for Kendall to drag himself around to Logan's door. He's glad then that his side was elevated because it'll be easier to slide Logan out if he's closer to the ground. Get him out. Get away. Call for help. That's what he needs to do and Kendall is about to begin the first part of his operation when a voice stops him.
"Logan," Kendall breathes. Relief doesn't begin to cover what he feels right now as he gazes upwards and sees Logan stir and then open his eyes. "You're awake."
"What. . . happened?" Logan looks around and then locates Kendall on the ground outside the car.
It's funny how relief makes it harder for Kendall to function. When he was panicking just a minute ago everything was easy. But now, he can barely think because all he can focus on is the fact the Logan is awake and talking to him. "Car accident." He whispers as he shakes himself free of the paralyzing emotions coursing through him.
Logan's eyes widen in alarm. "Are you okay?" He asks as he starts to fumble with his seat belt. Now that he's awake he can see that Kendall is covered in blood and rain and there's obviously something wrong with his leg because it's twisted at a wrong angle.
"I think my leg is broken." Kendall responds faintly. "But don't worry right now. We have to get you out before the car catches on fire." The burning smell has intensified so much that his eyes have started to water. He props himself up against the car and looks back up at Logan. "Are you hurt? Can you move?"
"I. . . I can move." Logan whispers. He shifts his weight to one side and hisses in pain.
"What? Logan?" Kendall forgets about his broken leg and sits up even further to see Logan doubled over, clutching at his side.
"Just. . . just help me for now." Logan answers shakily. "It's not safe by the car."
Adrenaline is what enables Kendall to reach Logan and ease him from the car. Adrenaline is what enables him to drag both of them away from the car that starts to smoke ominously. But as soon as they're a safe distance away, the adrenaline leaves Kendall and he slumps weakly against the trunk of another tree, the pain threatening to pull him into blackness. He fights stubbornly against unconsciousness and pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and quickly dials 911. "Car accident." His responds in a weak voice to the operator asking him what the emergency is. Somehow he's thinking clearly enough to tell the man where they are and then the phone slips from his grasp and falls onto the wet ground.
"Your face." Logan touches the deep gash gently. "Is your leg bleeding too?"
Kendall can't tell what is rain and what is blood. He shivers in the cold and shrugs off Logan's question because he knows that his injuries aren't life-threatening. "I'm okay, Logan. How badly are you hurt?"
In answer, Logan's eyes stray down to his own torso. "It-it's bad, Kendall." He can't hide how bad it is.
Kendall follows Logan's eyes and feels his stomach drop at the sight. The car has caught fire by now and he can see easily thanks to the dancing flames. Logan's stomach is coated is blood and despite the fact that the rain is washing it all away, the stain never grows any fainter which means that he's still bleeding. On closer inspection, Kendall can see a sharp shard of glass from the windshield embedded deep in Logan's side. "What. . . what should I do?" He asks in desperation, completely forgetting that the sight of blood usually sickens him.
"Did you call for help?"
Logan's question scares Kendall for two reasons. One is that he was right next to Kendall when he made the call and the second is because he's not really answering Kendall's question. "Yeah. They'll be here as soon as possible but the rain. . . Logan, what should I do now?"
Logan blinks rain out of his eyes and takes a shuddering breath, wincing in pain as he does so. He turns his head slowly to look at the car that is now completely engulfed in flames and then looks back at Kendall. "Just s-stay here." He says, his voice beginning to weaken. "D-don't leave me."
His words scare Kendall even more than his question did because it means that there's nothing he can do. They can only wait and hope that help arrives in time. But the rain and wind has yet to stop battering them. Kendall glances at the car to see that the fire is already extinguished from the rain and hope springs up inside of him. "Logan, do you think there's anything in the car I can use to. . . stop the bleeding?"
Logan's eyes flutter shut for a second too long and then they spring open when he hears Kendall gasp in alarm. He blinks again, struggling to focus on his friend. "What?"
Stay calm. Kendall orders himself. "I said do you think there's anything in the car that I can use to stop the bleeding?" He repeats, almost proud of himself for remaining calm and rational.
"Oh." Logan slowly shakes his head. "It's all burnt." He whispered.
Right. So much for being rational. Kendall takes a deep breath and finds Logan's hand in the darkness, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Okay, Logie. Just hang in there. Help is coming. You'll be okay." His free hand strokes Logan's forehead, brushing wet strands of hair out of his eyes.
Logan gives him a faint smile but it's tight with pain. The hand that isn't being held by Kendall is pressed tightly to the deep gash in his side, trying to vain to stop or at least slow the flow of blood. "K-Kendall. I'm glad you're okay."
Tears begin to fill Kendall's eyes but he hastily blinks them away to clear his already rain blurred vision. He can't ignore the realization no matter how hard he tries. Logan is dying. He's bleeding to death because there's nothing for them to use to stop the bleeding. It's slowed a little bit but Kendall isn't comforted in the least. He can tell by the ghostly color of Logan's face and the way his hand feels cold and clammy that he's running out of blood to lose.
"T-talk to me." Logan orders gently. His whole body is racked in a sudden and violent shiver. He's so cold and tired. "Keep me 'wake." He can tell that he's dying and that Kendall's reassurances are false but he's determined to hold on as long as possible. If he goes to sleep, he'll never wake up again.
Kendall ignores the way Logan's speech is starting to slur and how his breathing seems to be getting more and more difficult with every inhale and exhale. He clears his throat, praying for a topic to magically come to him. "Remember when you had pneumonia a couple years ago and you read all the Harry Potter books in a week?"
"Mm." Logan murmurs softly. "I was s-so bored and you guys c-couldn't visit. One book a day." He coughs then, almost losing consciousness at the pain it causes him. Blood trickles out of the corner of his mouth, quickly mixing with the rain that continues to pour down.
Fear has Kendall's heart in it's icy grip and he tows Logan closer to him, into his arms. He wipes the blood off of Logan's face and then goes back to stroking his hair, not even realizing that his hand is still covered in the sticky red liquid.
They. . . the rescue workers aren't going to make it in time to save Logan. Somehow Kendall knows this. It's a truly awful thing to know. The worst. Logan is going to die. He is. Kendall tries as hard as he possible can to push the knowing feeling away but it's no use.
"K-Kendall?" Logan stammers as another tremor shakes his body in Kendall's arms. "Will help be here soon?"
Not soon enough. Kendall cannot lie to his friend but he's not about to tell him the whole truth just yet. "I'm sure they will."
Unfortunately, Logan can still read the tone of Kendall's voice and he knows. "N-not in time, huh?" Tears burn his eyes and slide down his face. He doesn't want to die. He's only seventeen. There's still so much he has to do. "Kendall, I d-don't want to. . . die."
"Logan," Kendall chokes on a sob and bends down until his forehead touches Logan's. "I don't want you to die either."
Kendall's tears immediately stop when he hears Logan crying. He has to be strong. He sits up and takes in a deep breath of air. "It'll be okay, Logan." He says in what he hopes is a soothing voice. "I'm right here. I'm not going to leave. I'll. . . I'll be right here."
Logan smiles gratefully and gives Kendall's hand a weak squeeze. "T-hank you. Thanks for being my b-best friend, Kendall."
He can't possibly survive this. The EMTs are going to arrive and both Kendall and Logan are going to be dead. Kendall can't live without one of his best friends.
As if he's reading Kendall's mind, Logan frowns. "Kendall," He says softly. "James and C-Carlos."
It's all Logan is able to say with his failing strength but it's enough for Kendall. "I know." He whispers as fresh tears course down his face, mixing with the dried blood and the ever present rain. James and Carlos. He has to be there for them.
"T-tell them," Logan is crying to. He doesn't want to die for so many reasons but more than anything else, he doesn't want to leave his best friends. "I'm s-sorry and that I love them. I love you too, K-Kendall."
"Logan," Kendall leans down again and cries, feeling like he might split apart. He can feel the strength leaving Logan's battered body and it scares him. He clings to his friend, his brother as if it might keep him alive longer. "We love you too, Logie. Always."
"I'm still scared." Logan admits weakly. "What d-do you think it's l-like?"
"Dying?" Part of Kendall cannot believe that he's having this conversation with his best friend but he's determined to comfort him. "Quicker and easier than falling asleep."
A smile turns up the corners of Logan's mouth. "Nice reference." He mumbles.
"And you thought you were the only one who knew Harry Potter." Kendall smiles too but inside his heart is broken forever.
"T-taught you well."
"Yeah, you did." Kendall agrees. "You taught us all a lot."
Another tiny frown crosses Logan's face. "We taught e-each other."
Kendall nods. "You're right about that, buddy."
"D-do you really t-think that. . . death is like that? I'm s-so scared. I don't w-want to die, Kendall."
"Logan, I promise you'll be okay You don't have to be afraid." Kendall soothes quietly. "I'm right here with you. I've got you and I promise that I won't let you go. Just. . . just close your eyes, Logie."
At first Logan obeys right away and his eyes close. But they reopen right away and stare back at Kendall. "Miss you." He whispers in a broken voice. "All of y-you. S-so much."
It's not possible to take any more pain. Kendall tries to imagine life without Logan and he can't. Death is just another part of life that everyone will experience eventually. But Logan is too young. He shouldn't be dying and leaving them all behind. "We'll miss you too, Logan. For the rest of our lives. But. . . don't cry, Logan. Soon. . . soon you'll be okay. You'll see your mom again and one day. . . one day you'll see me and James and Carlos again."
At last the pain, both emotional and psychical begins to fade from Logan's eyes. "I know that. 'm glad."
"I've got you, Logan." Kendall whispers once again. "Just close your eyes and go to sleep, Logan. You're safe, Logan." He can't stop saying his friend's name and he can't stop talking. He can barely tell what he's saying because all he knows is that he has to make Logan feel safe. "Go to sleep, Logan."
Logan closes his eyes and this time he doesn't open them again. His breathing steadies so that it's no longer harsh and ragged. The grip he has on Kendall's hand loosens until it's completely limp. Each breath is slower to come until they stop altogether.
Kendall sits on the ground, holding the dead body of his best friend in his arms. It's as if the world stops then. He no longer feels the rain soaking him or the wind cutting through him, the combination like an icy knife. He no longer feels the throbbing in his head or his leg. He feels completely numb. He lays a hand lightly on Logan's still chest and doesn't feel a beat underneath his palm. Logan is gone.
He reaches up and touches his face, surprised that he's not crying. He was crying, just a minute ago and now he's not. Logan is dead. Why isn't he crying? "Logan," He whispers. Kendall leans down again and kisses the cold, wet forehead. There is a look of peace on Logan's face and Kendall tries to tell himself that everything is okay because Logan isn't in pain anymore. He's safe.
Kendall has no idea how long he sits there with Logan in his arms but eventually, the rain slows and then he hears the shrill sound of an ambulance siren. He looks away from Logan to see lights piercing the black night as they come nearer and nearer. The vehicle screeches to a halt and three men jump out. Three. What a horrible number. Kendall looks back down at Logan. Kendall, James and Carlos. It's not Kendall, James, Logan and Carlos anymore. They're three and not four anymore.
"He's gone." He says in a dull voice as the men rush over. "You're too late." Saying it out loud makes it realer and finally, Kendall begins to mourn the loss of his friend. "You're too late!" He screams. "He died and he was only seventeen! If you came sooner you could have saved him! I couldn't do anything! He bled to death and he died. He's dead. He died in my arms."
"We have to get you to the hospital, kid." One of then paramedics says softly. "We need to get you some help."
Kendall's body shakes wildly with sobs. "Logan needed help and you never came. Now he's gone and he's not coming back I had to let him go. He was one of my best friends." Hands touch him and Kendall jerks away. "I can't leave him." He cries. "I told him I wouldn't."
"You did all you could, son. You're right. He's gone."
"But if I leave him then I won't. . ." Kendall tries to explain in between sobs. "I don't want to leave him. I don't want to let him go." He grips Logan tightly to him as the EMTs try to separate them. "No, please. Don't make me leave him. Logan." He wrenches free from the hands, not even registering the pain and cries hard. "Logan, why?"
The world is cold and dark and nothing makes sense anymore. Kendall can hear the paramedics talking to him but none of their words are making sense. He only cries harder and when Logan is finally taken from his arms and covered by a sheet, Kendall begins to scream. He doesn't scream any words, just a noise that doesn't sound human. It breaks through the silent night, shattering the calm. Then everything goes dark.
A/N Please don't review and ask em why I killed Logan yet again. This was under the tragedy genre and it was your choice to read it. I honestly can't control my writing when I get inspired. Besides, if you listen to the song like I suggested or at least look up the lyrics, you'll see that it can't be about anything else but death. Oh and the Harry Potter reference. When I read that line in the seventh book I wanted to quote in right away. More inspiration? Yeah. Anyway, review? Thank you so much. -heart-