A/N: Hey guys! Thanks a lot to everyone who commented! I'm really glad people like this. So here, have another chapter! In this one, our favorite blue alien is 'Bernard', but we all know who he really is, unlike Roxanne! I feel like Bernard and Roxanne might have been dating longer than the movie actually lets on, so the scene in the restaurant probably wasn't their first kiss… Our 'Bernard' was just way too comfortable with it! And I'm using too many exclamation points! Ha ha, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I still do not own any of the characters or anything relating to the original plot of the movie. No profit is being made here other than my own amusement. Boo me.
During film: THREE KISSES
Today had been one of the best days Roxanne had ever spent with someone, or at least, the most perfect day she'd had for a very long time. It had been so long since she could honestly say she was having fun, and enjoying someone's company. Yes, it had been a very enjoyable afternoon at the Metro City art museum. With all the bad things that had been happening lately, starting with Metro Man's death, and now with Megamind running the city, it felt like Bernard had entered her life at the most perfect time. Roxanne had never met anyone like him. He was sweet, and smart, and understanding, but most of all, he seemed genuinely interested in her. A quality most of her past boyfriends had lacked.
She turned her head to glance at Bernard, who was currently paying for coffee at the counter of the Starbucks they were in, and smiled. He'd been just perfect up to now. Very kind and funny, he'd pulled up a chair for her when they had entered the coffee shop, asked her what she wanted, then gone to the counter. Before long, he was walking over with two mugs and a small brown bag in hand. "I got you a muffin." He said meekly as he sat down, nudging the bag toward her. This was another thing Roxanne found appealing in him; a kind of childish shyness that came through whenever he did something for her.
"Oh! Well, thank you Bernard. You didn't have to though. Didn't you want one too?" She told him, her fingers prying the little bag open to reach the muffin. He shrugged, "Oh no it's fine, I had some doughnuts for lunch." Roxanne giggled; "Are you kidding? That would make my stomach ache for the whole afternoon!" Her comment seemed to surprise him, but he smiled anyway. "It's alright. I guess I'm used to it by now."
They sipped their coffee in comfortable silence for a few moments, Roxanne nibbling on the raspberry muffin occasionally. "So, what did you think of the museum?" Bernard asked her, his gaze hesitant on whether to meet hers or not for several seconds. He finally locked his eyes into hers just as she put her coffee mug down. Roxanne breathed a sigh of delight. "It was nice! I still can't believe Megamind put all those paintings back. I don't even remember the last time I went there though; I think I was still in college. Speaking of which, where did you go to school?" She dropped her gaze from his for a moment to pick up her muffin after asking the question, and didn't notice the panic that flashed upon his face.
'Bernard's' eyes darted in every direction as he struggled to come up with an adequate answer. He only then realized how little he even knew about the real Bernard, and how stupid of him it had been not to find out more about the man. Or at the very least, that he should have already prepared some cover up stories for his fake life.
And Now Roxanne was staring at him, expecting an answer in the next few seconds to come. "I uhhh…" Bernard coughed into the back of his hand, "Actually, I went to Browns!" He said this quickly, as it was the first university name he could think of. "Wow, that's pretty good." Roxanne commented. Megamind interiorly thought, is it? He honestly hadn't much clue, but decided to go with it.
"Yeah, uh, they have a specialized program for the History of Superheroes and Villains studies." He had no idea if this was true, but he did know that program existed in certain establishments around the country. He had been greatly amused by this fact when Minion had told him about it actually.
But moving on, he stopped saying fake things, hoping Roxanne wouldn't be too curious. "Ok, so are you from Rhode Island then?" She asked, leaning on the table with her arm, her chin upon her fist. Megamind was about to answer that he did, but thought of the implications, and quickly diverted. "I… ye-NO. Actually I grew up in Massachusetts," Megamind had to struggle to get the name right at this point, "I had to move away from my parents to study. I don't see them much, they… aren't very proud of me. Anyways, I moved here after because I was fascinated with Megamind." He tried to sound secretive and sad when he spoke of his 'parents' so that there would be no awkward questions about family.
Thankfully, Roxanne didn't ask about his parents, sensing there was something cold there. Instead, she smirked. "Yeah… I know how that can be. So you've been studying Megamind ever since you came to Metro City then?" Bernard nodded, and decided he'd had enough of inventing random facts about his fake life for now. "Well, enough about me, what about you?" he asked, straightening up in his seat and offering a smile. As he listened to Roxanne talk about the process of her becoming a journalist and finally ending up being the city's top reporter, he began to wonder how he was even going to keep this up. First of all, he was hiding it from Minion, he was lying to Roxanne and also just barely keeping up with his own lies.
Like the time they went shopping and he'd had to sign a bill. It had been a particularly frightening moment for him as he racked his brains to try and remember what Bernard's last name was. Being such a genius of course, he finally remembered it to be 'Stiller'. Bernard Stiller still seemed a strange name by which to call himself, but he hoped he'd get used to it soon.
In fact, how long he could keep this whole thing up was a mystery for now. What if Roxanne actually decided she wanted to be with 'Bernard' for ever? There was no doubt she would, Megamind thought, a little bit panicked, for why wouldn't she want to be with him? He was devilishly handsome and brilliant wasn't he? Of course, Bernard wasn't half as charming as he, but Roxanne could still count herself lucky in Megamind's opinion.
But actually, as he was watching her, Megamind came to the realization he should count himself lucky. Much more so than her. He smiled distractedly. She was truly an amazing person, and best of all, she liked him. Him! He, who had never had much human contact, and certainly no loving human contact, was lucky enough to be her friend. A happy sigh escaped him as Roxanne concluded her story. "What's wrong?" She suddenly asked him, studying his face.
Sitting up straight at her comment, he couldn't help but smile even more. "Oh I was just thinking of how beautiful, smart and funny you are."
Roxanne blushed visibly at this. "Well, aren't you the charmer," she said, absent-mindedly brushing her bangs away from her eyes and hinting at a smile, "Mister museum curator." Bernard chuckled; "No I'm serious! Roxanne," he leant across the table to grasp her hands in his own, "you're the best person I've ever met." His thumb stroked across her fingers as he spoke, "I've never had this much fun with anyone before. This past month... has easily been one of the finest of my life. I hope you realize just how wonderful you are." Apparently, Roxanne didn't, because she flushed even more and smiled. "You're really sweet, Bernard."
Oh, what Megamind would have given for her to say his name instead of Bernard's just then.
"And you're really great, Roxanne." He said with a pained grin. She merely smiled back at him. Both their cups of coffee were done, and Roxanne's muffin was long gone, so they put their coats back on and went outside. The air was slightly bitter, making Roxanne pull her coat higher on her shoulders. Megamind didn't have a hat, since he'd never had one anyway (forgive the giant bulbous head) and also because Bernard's hair kept him sufficiently warm – he was still getting used to having hair though – and his coat was a little too thin. He wasn't really built for cold temperatures. Sometimes he wished he could have landed in California or something, but of course then he would never have met Roxanne.
He looked to his right, and she smiled back at him. Noticing she wasn't walking as fast as he was, he slowed a little and held out his arm. She looked pleasantly surprised, and blushed a little more as she fitted her arm around his. They walked like this peacefully until they were nearly in front of her apartment. There, Roxanne tightened her grip on his arm with one of her glove-covered hands and squeezed.
"This was a wonderful day Bernard." She smiled and turned to him, and this time he felt his face warm up significantly. Was he blushing now, too? Either way, they were at her apartment now, only a few steps away from the stairs of the building. "You make me really happy."
Megamind felt his breath hitch when he noticed her shuffling closer. Their faces were slowly closing in on each other, so that Megamind examined every little detail of her face. He could practically count the little freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks, and that little beauty spot just above her chin was even more apparent. Her eyes seemed to sparkle a little with happiness before her eyelids closed on them, her dark lashes fluttering. She was tilting her head to the side now, and Megamind found himself frozen to the spot, his poor heart thundering like crazy against his ribcage and a lump stuck in his throat.
When Roxanne became aware of his sudden stillness, her eyes opened. "Bernard… what's wrong?" Megamind was horrified: she looked concerned, and just a little hurt. "N-nothing… It's just… been a long time since I've… y'know…" He mumbled, feeling his face heat up some more. He must look ridiculous. To his surprise, she giggled. "Is that so?" Her expression was mischievous, "In that case, let me refresh your memory…"
Leaning in again, she was faster this time, and Megamind was ready now. In a heartbeat, their lips finally touched. Roxanne guided him for a moment, as they positioned themselves correctly, but Megamind quickly caught on. It was not a passionate kiss, but rather a gentle, uncertain yet engaging one. Megamind found his way around Roxanne to rest a hand on her hip just as she set hers on the side of his cheek, bending it against his jawbone. He took in her taste, carefully moving his lips in rhythm with hers and trying to memorize the feeling. She hummed appreciatively against him before they parted, Megamind's face (or rather Bernard's) stuck in a permanent kissing expression for a moment. Once he opened his eyes, he saw that Roxanne's still-pinkish face was still close to his own and smiled gently. Her hand was still cupping his face, and he happily leant into it, his eyes boring into hers. He wished they could stay like this forever, but Roxanne spoke, breaking the calm silence; "That was great, for a first kiss." She told him deviously.
For a moment, he panicked. "H-how did you know it was my first kiss?" He stammered, eyes widening. A second later, her hand left his cheek, leaving the harsh air to invade his vulnerable neck. Her eyes were wide now, too. "I didn't, I just meant our first kiss… in the sense that I'm hoping there'll be others." She told him, suddenly wary, and he mentally slapped himself for letting this deep part of himself show. That was Megamind speaking, not Bernard. Feeling rather foolish, he quickly explained. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you… Nobody's ever kissed me before."
At these words, her eyes softened. "You don't have to be sorry Bernard. I… Really, it doesn't change anything. I think you're cute anyway, so it doesn't matter. It was perfect." These words really meant a lot to Megamind, who was suddenly filled with even more happiness than before, if possible. That's when he decided to hug her. He'd never felt this close to anyone before, and he had to let her know. Apparently, he'd done the right thing because she grabbed his face once more and kissed him, smiling against his lips. He held her close and this time the kiss was much more confident.
"A perfect second kiss." He said, completing her last statement when they parted again. Roxanne shot him a questioning look, so he explained. "I'm talking about the one just now. I've decided I'm going to count them." He grinned at her, and it was returned.
After hesitating for a moment, he stepped back, still holding one of her hands in his. He slowly slipped her glove off as he spoke; "Have a nice evening and a good night, Roxanne. I'll call you soon." Her leather glove came off and he lifted her small hand to his lips, kissing it gently.
Roxanne smiled such a true smile back at him when he let go of her hand and handed her back her glove that he felt like he would give her anything she wanted at the moment without a moment's hesitation.
But it was over all too soon as she waved him goodbye one last time, leaving him to walk alone back to his lair. All in all though, it had still been the best day he'd had in a long time.
The memory of her kiss was enough to distract him from everything he did for at least a week. He was untalkative at the dinner table with Minion, and even Hal noticed that Space Dad wasn't very into training him these days. But Megamind didn't care because the thought of Roxanne brought a smile to his face every time, and that alone was enough to keep him going.
A/N: Love it? Hate it? I hope it wasn't too sickeningly sweet for you guys, but I figured it had to be more so than the last one since its Megamind's first real experience with dating. The next one will be more along the lines of badass if you catch my drift! Anyways, I also wanted to say that I hope the whole Bernard/Megamind name switching wasn't confusing. I guess that in the beginning of the scene it was Roxanne thinking, so she would refer to him as Bernard, and the rest of it was from Megamind's point of view, so it would be easier to depict using his name. Whatever, I'm rambling now, so until next time!
P.S. though, I'm Canadian and I have no idea about American universities and stuff, so don't get angry if I messed something up haha. Also, I bet that History of Superheroes and Villains class would actually exist in the Megamind universe, don't you? Boy, would I sure like to take that class. :D
Just another thing before I forget… Ben Stiller voiced the 'real' Bernard in the movie, so I figured I'd give him Stiller's name, right? Right? Who's with me? …I'm going to bed now ok thanks…