EDIT:: All info regarding the Edited material is in the note at the bottom. Sorry for any inconvenience.

Kinda bored, and elaborated on Luke's idea to turn his father back to the light. Figured there had to be good in him, and wouldn't it just be funny to have little Ani haunt our favorite villain? Set during ESB while the Falcon is hiding in the (shhh) Worm in the Asteroid. It was pretty fun having them bicker back and forth. On top of that, I really wanted to write something from the POV of the Darkside. ANYONE one the darkside. I love the Dark Leia fics...

So, I still don't own anything, and I still don't have an Ewok (see my other Star Wars one shot, Stories of Our Lives). I don't own Vader, or Ani, or Piett or the Emperor Palp-py. If I did, I probably wouldn't be writing fic, so much as playing puppet master with them. I've said too much. Don't make me destroy you... Lolz.

Beneath the Mask of Vader...

You know, he did apologize, you didn't need to choke him.

Do you ever shut up?

No, because technically, I'm your conscious.

No, you are Skywalker. Big difference.

What would Yoda say?

Get a life, you must?


I rolled my eyes behind my helmet. Skywalker was being quite loud in my head today. I should have eliminated him entirely about two decades ago. The only thing he's good for is when I'm lonely. All he does is yap and yap about every action I make! Won't he just disappear?

I can't disappear, I'm in your head.

I have altered you enough, pray I do not alter you further.

Hey, that was a pretty good line.

Thanks, I'm thinking of using it for something or other. Seems to strike fear.

Skywalker went silent for awhile, and for that I am greatful. For being a sith lord and all, there sure is a lot of paperwork involved. Especially after those Rebels destroyed the Death Star.

I looked up as Piett came into the room, bowed and approached my desk.

"My Lord, you are needed on the bridge. It seems the other ships are reporting on the Millennium Falcon's location."

"I will be there shortly," I answered, and Piett bowed again and left the room. Finally, I have answers to the location of the Princess of Alderaan and her transport. It appears they are not as cunning as they think.

I bet you they report they can't find them.

I grit my teeth and head to the bridge, hearing the slight rumbling of stray asteroids hitting the ship. As I reach the bridge I find three holos from the surrounding star cruisers waiting for me.

"What is the news on the location of the Millennium Falcon?" I ask.

I watch as the holo furthest to my left fizzles out and disappears, the man holding his hands up in defense. Note to self, hire better pilots who can pilot an asteroid field. Unfortunately, they don't make pilots like they used to, and all the good ones are smugglers.

"Earlier Lord Vader, was the last time they appeared on any of our scopes," the Captain reported. "Considering the amount of damage we've sustained, they must have been destroyed."

Told you so.

"No, Captain, they're alive," I insist, wondering whether it's true or I'm trying to convince myself. "I want every ship available to sweep the asteroid field until they are found."

The two remaining captains bow and disconnect the connection. I start to turn when I see Piett approach me once more.

"Lord Vader."

"Yes, Admiral?"

"The Emperor commands you make contact with him," Peitt says hesitantly.

"Move the ship out of the asteroid field so we can make a clear transmission," I command.

"Yes, my Lord," he says. I can feel how frightened he is strongly, and hurry off to my chambers to take the call. I don't like the Emperor one bit. He is so sadistic and corrupt.

Headline of the Year!

Shut up, Skywalker.

You know as well as I do how stubborn I am.


Well, five credits says you never do catch the Princess.

It's worth more if you could actually back the offer. But since you can't, I scoff at you.

You scoff at me? Ooh. Your Ventilator not striking the same amount of fear anymore.

I rolled my eyes. I reach my chamber quickly and kneel down on the lighted platform where my Master's Holo will appear.

"What is thy bidding, my Master?" I ask as he appears before me.

Get me a facelift, Vader. And a toothbrush...

Shut it, Skywalker.

"There is a great disturbance in the Force," the Emperor proclaims.

No, crap. We got too many sith hanging around...

SHUT IT, Skywalker.

"I have felt it."

"We have a new enemy, Luke Skywalker."

Wait, what?

Shut it- Wait, what?

"Yes, my Master," I say, not really comprehending everything.

"He could destroy us," the Emperor says.

Isn't he in his early twenties?

Skywalker, I swear to the Maker...

"He is just a boy," I say, much to Skywalker's dislike. "Obi Wan can no longer help him."

"The Force is strong with him," the Emperor continues. "The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi."

Whoa, back this train up... Skywalker's son? Padme gave birth?

Skywalker, for Krith's sake! If you ever say her name again...

You'll what? Ventilate on me?

"If he could be turned," I say, ignoring Skywalker in my head. "He would become a powerful ally."

"Yes," the Emperor agrees. "Yes..."

Quick! Call maintenance! He's stuck on repeat!

Oh, Force! Why have you stuck me with him? What did I do to you?

Does The Great Jedi Purge ring a bell?

"He would be a great asset," the Emperor continues. "Can it be done?"

I don't know. Can it?

Can it yourself.

"He will join us or die, my Master," I state. The Emperor ends the transmission shortly after I bow. I stand up, and return to my hyperbaric chamber behind me.

Really? After finding out our son is alive, you agree to either turn him or kill him? Really?

Do not underestimate the power of the Dark side.

There's still good in you though.

No, there isn't.

What the Force am I then?

A pest.

No, your GOOD side. You know, the side that said no when you said 'Sure Palp-py, I'd love to join you because I can't go back now that I pushed Windu out a window'.

I didn't push him, I just chopped his hand off. Skywalker is really getting on my nerves now. I remove my helmet and rotate my scarred neck as much as possible with out removing my respirator. I curse Obi Wan everyday for making my like this.

Quite technically, you brought it on yourself by being a showoff. He told you not to but you had oh so much power now.

Can it, Skywalker, I growl mentally. I can almost picture my former self sitting there smugly. Ugh, to think I used to be so naive.

Not naive, and I still am a part of you. I'm not dead yet.

We'll see...

Last line is kinda ominous, but it's just referring to RotJ. You know, when he chucks old Palp-py over the railing. This was really fun to write. I giggled for alot of the stuff and then giggled again when I edited it.

Still working on my other big fic, but I have begun writing it. I just haven't really had the time to sit and just write. Sucks.

Didn't really get far past the planning process than, I wonder what would happen if Ani and Vader bickered inside Vader's head all day. I had the first few lines done before I even set it in ESB, but making fun of the Emperor was a total win for me.

Hope you enjoyed it, but even if you didn't review! See you (hopefully) in the next one. And go update your own stories! We really want to read them! Lol.

EDIT:: I have posted a Sequel to this, and can be found via my page or at www [DOT] fanfiction [DOT] net/s/6806306/1/

Sorry for making you all see that this has been updated, when it really is just an edit, my apologies.