Summary: Kenny has died once again, but when he wakes up, something weird has happened…
Author note: I CAN'T FIND THE GODDMN PICTURE THAT INSPIRED ME!
Kenny screamed in sheer agony as his body was slowly but forcefully torn in half; he was aware of every snapping bone, of his ripping flesh that resisted the stretching but ultimately failed, the blood that trickled down from the other cuts on his body.
"FUCK YOU!" He yelled at the black hooded cultists. He refused to die without a fight and, when he came back, he was going to fucking torture these bastards for killing him like this; most painful death he's ever fucking gone through and they WERE GOING TO PAY!
"Don't worry, young one!" one of them preached, stepping forward with hooded face. "It'll all be over soon enough."
"YEAH! AND THEN I'LL KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING – ARGH!" Kenny gasped, feeling a sudden shock of pain when one of the bastards pulled the chain on his foot down, splitting his torso further and causing him to wince and curse viciously.
"I doubt when this is over, you'll be in the position to kill us," one of them chuckled, starting a tidal wave of chuckles throughout the cloaked cultists. Kenny growled, panting from the pain. "Although," he continued, "you're certainly one of our toughest sacrifices; you've lived quite longer than the others and you even have the ability to curse and yell back at us. Really, rather impressive."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU SICK FUCKERS!" Kenny yelled, resisting tears; he wouldn't give them any satisfaction. But, still, so much fucking pain; just die, damn it, he thought desperately.
"Hmm, let's speed this up a bit," one of them murmured, audibly frowning. Kenny screamed, blood dripping out of the corner of his mouth and letting his head droop, before he grinned and chuckled, shocking the group silent.
"When I get back, I'm going to hunt you down and fucking destroy all of you," he growled lowly, dangerously, as the darkness of death crept into his eyesight. The cloaked figures started to chant as the blonde died, the chant's echoing eerily in his dying ears,
"Separate innocence from the tainted,
Half to hell,
Half to heaven,
Split the soul to be sainted."
That was all Kenny heard before his body split into two sides from the wedge driven through him, vision going black.
"Awww, fuck," Kenny groaned, holding his aching head. Those fucking cultists; Kenny had just woken up in his bed, as usual, after an extremely agonizing death, with a headache that could easily match a hangover migraine.
Although Kenny was never one to act upon vengeance, now he was completely fine with revenge against those jackasses; just abducting him off the street and sacrificing him to their fucking god was a dick move on their part. But, those idiots didn't do their homework on Kenny McCormick, the boy who couldn't die, and now, he was going to kill them. Plus, if they were killing normal people, he had a legitimate reason to get rid of them. As Mysterion, he could get rid of them and save lives in the process. Yay.
Growling, the orange parka adorned male propped himself up on an elbow, eyes shut and clutching his pain pulsing head, he attempted to reach over to his left table where he kept his painkillers; but, something was on the bed, between him and the pills. A person.
His eyes snapped open and he fell off the bed with an, "Oof!" grumbling but shaking it off, looking at the person who decided to make residence in his bed. The person had his back to him but he had a frame similar to Kenny's; lean, not skinny, with toned leg muscles from playing soccer. His hair was a messy dirty blonde, exactly the same as Kenny's; but, while Kenny wore his old orange parka, this stranger was wearing baggy jeans with a fitting white muscle shirt. (Kenny doesn't have bed sheets, FYI ^^)
"Hey, jaskass!" Kenny growled, head hurting too much to completely freak out. "What the hell are you doing in my bed?" The response he got was sort of a complaining whine; like the one you might receive from a child who was getting woken up early for school.
"Don't yell, please," the voice pleaded; it sounded very smooth, young, not like Kenny's own deeper, slightly scratchy voice. "My head hurts."
"Join the club," Kenny murmured, rubbing his aching head subconsciously. "Still, I don't take it too kindly when I wake up to find a stranger in my bed so, honestly, who the fuck are you?"
"Your bed?" the person asked, pushing themselves into a sitting position and turning to face Kenny, shocking the blonde into silence as he looked into a mirror reflection.
"What the fuck?" he stated, shocked. The kid on the bed looked exactly the same as him, everything from the jaw line to the sharp cheekbones, even to the small mole on his neck no one else really noticed; the body double also seemed surprised, but scared as well, unlike Kenny, who was just plain confused.
"Uh, who are you?" Kenny asked, ending the awkward silence between them. The boy on the bed's sky blue eyes widened dramatically.
"I-I'm Kenny; Kenny McCormick," he answered, frightened. The parka adorned Kenny shook his head.
"That's impossible because I'm Kenny McCormick," he responded. The other teen's eyes widened more, eyebrows interlacing in confusion.
"But, that can't be!" he insisted meekly. "I'm Kenny; my parents are Stuart and Carol McCormick, and they're alcoholics with heroin and coke addictions as well, a-and I have an older brother named Kevin but we don't really talk."
"Yeah, and I have two best friends, Kyle and Stan, and we all hate that fat ass Cartman because he's a fucking prick! I'm also the masked hero Mysterion, who saves this town all the fucking time because they can never take care of themselves," the orange Kenny shot back. "But, I have a power I can't tell anyone about because they never believe me since they never remember! Even if they saw it happen, they never fucking remember!"
"… I can't die," the one on the bed finished, making the other stop. "Even if Stan and Kyle and Cartman and even the entire town saw me being decapitated and burned alive in front of them, I'd just wake up in bed the next day and they wouldn't even remember. I could tell them I've died thousands of time and they wouldn't believe me since-,"
"They don't remember it," the other finished solemnly. "Dude, how did we - er, you die? Just now?" Kenny continuously hesitated, as if wanting to believe this other person was him.
"Well, I was walking home alone after midnight yesterday when some people in black cloaks knocked me out," he started, lower lip quivering slightly. "A-and then they tied me up, the giant block under me was – was sharp, then I was lowered onto it and, the- the pain…" This other Kenny trailed off as tears streaked down his cheeks lightly. The Kenny wearing the old worn parka shifted awkwardly before sitting beside his double, patting his back understandingly; he himself was close to tears last night.
"Yeah, I know; hurt like a bitch, huh?" he asked, smiling comfortingly. The other smiled back through teary eyes.
"Y-Yeah; like when Tammy Warner gave us syphilis," the double responded, making the other laugh.
"Yeah, but you gotta admit, she had one hell of a mouth on her." The two laughed, if only to break the complete and utter awkwardness of the entire situation. This was completely fucked up, Kenny with the orange parka concluded. This was really scary, the Kenny with the white shirt figured. But, they both realized just how real this really was.
"So, we're the same person, huh?" the orange Kenny started, running a hand through his hand.
"B-But how did this happen?" the other wondered nervously.
"Beats me, but we were torn in half." Before the other could respond, an echoing yell came from outside the room.
"KENNY! GET YOUR ASS TO SCHOOL RIGHT NOW BEFORE I KICK IT THERE!" Kenny's father demanded, voice slurred with an alcoholic slur.
"Alright, Dad!" the two yelled simultaneously, glancing at each other nervously.
"Kay, what the hell are we going to do about this for now?" Kenny asked, standing up and pulling his orange hood up, though mouth still showing to talk. The Kenny with the large, innocent eyes watched him nervously.
"W-Well, I could pretend to be a relative of yours or something; I mean, not many people see your face so, they could just think we look alike because we're cousins or something," the other suggested, looking for a coat that wasn't like the orange parka and settling for a blue coat with yellow collar he barely ever wore.
"Yeah, not noticeable at all," Kenny stated, rolling his eyes. "My cousin from who-knows-where, whom looks exactly like me decides to drop in randomly, and has the exact same name as me. Yep, fucking genius right here."
"Keep in mind that by insulting me, you're insulting yourself," the other commented with a slight glare, showing any kind of rebellion for the first time. "And I'll just go by anouther name for now, until this thing is solved."
"Good, cause I'd feel real fucking crazy if I kept talking to myself; What name?" The Kenny wearing the blue jacket pondered for a couple of seconds, looking around the room, before his eyes widened and he smiled.
"What about something like KD or BK or something with K for Kenny and anouther letter?"
"Wow, I didn't realize how much of a pussy I really am but, whatever; what does the other letter stand for?" The other Kenny thought again, wondering.
"Well, B can be 'back up' or D can be something like 'different'…" he trailed off at the others condescending glare. "Hey! At least I'm actually trying to think of something! I don't see you coming up with any remarkable ideas." There was a moment of silence.
"Your name's Nick," Kenny stated apathetically. The other Kenny, now named Nick, gaped at him.
"B-But, it doesn't stand for anything! I'm Kenny but-,"
"It stands for 'Not In Costume Kenny', which is what you are, without a parka," Kenny explained. "Until we figure what the fuck happened, that's what your name will be when we're with our friends, who you don't know from this point on."
"B-But, I have to act like I don't know them?" Nick asked, blue eyes watering again. Kenny rolled his eyes.
"Man, I didn't know I was such a pussy but yes, just until we fix this or figure out how long this is going to take." Nick nodded, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve before standing up, matching Kenny's five foot, nine inch stature exactly. Nick looked behind Kenny, eyes flickering before he pointed.
"Look! We don't look exactly the same," he stated, motioning for Kenny to turn towards the breaking mirror he had on his messy desk. And, to his surprise, he realized it was true; although every feature was exactly alike, it was the way they showed themselves that defined their looks. Kenny held his posture, making him appear taller than Nick, who seemed slightly hunched over compared to him; but, one of the greatest differences were their eyes. Kenny's eyes appeared smaller than Nick's, who constantly had a deer in headlights look to him.
"Yeah, all you have to do is keep looking like you're going to be killed," Kenny chuckled, pulling his hood on to cover his face and over his mouth, revealing only a small tuft of hair and sky blue eyes, matching the wide eyes of his counterpart.
"W-Well, it could happen!" Nick argued, following Kenny out of the room. The two walked out of the house, and down the street of the poor neighborhood they lived in their entire life; Kenny still couldn't believe they were the same person, mulling over everything that happened last night to see what could've led up to this. Let's see, the cultists, pain, being torn in half, chanting, dead…
Wait, he realized, thinking back. That chanting… What the fuck did they say again? He thought back with as much detail as he could but couldn't, for the life of him, remember what they were saying.
"Thinking about the chanting?" Nick asked, making Kenny blink wildly.
"How'd you know?" he asked, voice muffled by his hood. The other blonde smiled sweetly.
"One and the same remember?" he stated. "They were saying something like, separating the soul, heaven and hell, and tainted and that's all I can remember."
"Hmm, guess I'll have to go on Kyle's computer for a bit after school," he murmured, almost inaudibly.
"I thought we had a laptop?" Nick asked, remembering back to when he was obsessed with world of warcraft.
"Yeah, but you don't remember dad getting drunk and throwing it out the window? It was a crap laptop anyways- wait, why don't you remember that?"
"I dunno." Kenny hummed thoughtfully, wondering about this.
"Do you remember Howard Stern?" he asked, testing a theory he came up with.
"Uh, no, not really; why?" the doppelganger answered, though confused.
"Hmm, what about that one night with Bebe? Or that hobo in New York?" Nick's eyes widened dramatically, lke he was under some kind of pressure to answer.
"No, I don't remember any of this! What happened!" he asked, looking frightened. Kenny seemed to analyze him for a moment.
"So, what did Tammy Warner do to give us syphilis?"
"W-Well, she kissed us, and then we made out after the purity ring thing…" Kenny nodded, waiting for the double to answer but it never came. Their boots crunched in the snow when they started to draw closer to the bus stop all of them were always at.
"Soooo, you don't remember getting a BJ from her?" he interrogated, the other blonde just looking at him in confusion. "You… don't remember finger fucking Bebe? Or losing your virginity to-,"
"No! I can't even think of those kinds of things," Nick informed, confirming Kenny's suspicions.
"Crap," Kenny stated simply.
"If, from what I figured out, I'm right, you're my 'innocence'," Kenny said, with dread. Nick looked at Kenny slightly confused, making him further explain, "Well, they were talking about soul separating and heaven and hell, blah, blah, blah, all that shit, right? So, what they were trying to do was probably trying to send half of the soul to heaven, y'know, the innocent part, and half to hell, the tainted thing as they called it."
"…So, you think I'm your innocent side?" Nick asked.
"Hell, I didn't know I had a fucking innocent side," Kenny responded, noticing how close they were getting to their friends. "Look, we'll talk about it later; my friends can't find out about this."
"Our friends," the blonde added quietly as they approached the group.
"Hey, Kenny!" Kyle greeted. Nick bit his tongue to stop himself from answering, letting the parka adorned double respond instead with, "Hey guys!"
"Who's the blonde kid?" Cartman asked.
"My name's Nick," he responded, slowly getting used to his new name.
"Yeah, he's visiting for a bit; cousin," Kenny stated, muffled by the hood. All of the boys had become tall from puberty, except Kyle, who was a good two inches shorter than Kenny, the third shortest of the group; so the curly haired Jew looked up at the blonde of equal height to Kenny.
"He looks a lot like you," Kyle stated simply.
"Yeah… He's a Mormon."
So, I've finally done something unique. Well, I saw this picture that inspired me, and I can't FUCKING FIND IT! But, if you go onto Y0u Tube (you know how to spell it), and find the username YuhiChan1013, cause she made a video, to the song Kiss me Kill Me by Mest and the very first picture in the video was what inspired me, the one with bloody Kenny holding hand with a more innocent looking Kenny…
ANYWAYS! If you'd care to see that picture, or tell me who the original creator was so I can tell them that I LURVE that picture and am making a fanfic of it, then you're welcome and thank you!
So, yeah, R&R because I like reviews!
(^.^)# YOU GET A WAFFLE! *coughvirtuallycough*