While I was writing the late chapter of the iron rose, I realized I missed some important detail in the story. So this chapter is the fulfilling.


Everyday is so wonderful, then suddenly, it's hard to breathe

Now and then I get insecure, from all the pain

I'm so ashamed


I am beautiful no matter what they say

Words can't bring me down

I am beautiful in every single way

Yes words can't bring me down

So don't you bring me down today


To all your friends you're delirious

So consumed, your all alone

Trying hard to fill the emptiness, the pieces gone,

Left the puzzle undone, is that the way it is?


You are beautiful no matter what they say

Words can't bring you down, No, no

Cause you are beautiful in every single way

Yes words can't bring you down. Oh, no

So don't you bring me down today


No matter what we do,

No matter what we say,

We're the song inside the tune, full of beautiful mistakes

And everywhere we go, ( And everywhere we go)

the sun will always shine

( The sun will Always, Always, Shine)

And tomorrow we might awake on the other side


'Cause we are beautiful no matter what they say

Yes words won't bring us down, no

We are beautiful in every single way

Yes words can't bring us down, oh , no

So don't you bring me down today

(Beautiful - Christina Aguillera)

We were going to pay a visit to brother Genitivi. Alistair and I agreed to bring Millar along, but he couldn't found her, so we split up to look for another Grey Warden.

I found Millar in the small lane. Her face bumping against the wall as a man in leather armor was trying to undone her dress. Without any thinking, I thrown that man off her and then aim my blade at his neck.

"What the hell are you doing with my friend?"

Crushed to the wall, that jerk stared at me in horror. "We just tried to have fun. I swear. Ask your friend if you don't believe me."

I did, and the elf Warden just shrugged.

It's embarrassing, indeed. So I let the man go. "Sorry for that."

Alas, he didn't just walk away, still leering at me and Millar. "I don't mind if you will join us. I never fuck two beautiful girls in one day before."

How dare him to spoke to my friend and I like we're the whores! My blood was boiling with rage and my feet responded to it. I kicked his flank which sent him to the dirty ground. "Get out of my sight, or I'll cut your testicle off and feed it to the dark spawn."

Still held his flank, the man ran as fast as he able. It's slightly amused, I admit. However, I didn't laugh.

Millar eyed at me. She didn't care about that guy but didn't glad to see me either. "You spoiled the fun, you know? I'd not with man for awhile."

Somehow, I felt she was changed. This wasn't the same woman I saved from the bounty hunters. "What's wrong with you, Millar?"

"Me? No, there's nothing wrong about me. I just... I need to forget something. If I can't have man or men, I think I should take a lot of ale. Care to join?"

She tried to walk away, but I grabbed her hand and quickly did scanning. The things I saw weren't something I ever wanted to think about. "Millar... I'm sorry."

"About what? You've done nothing wrong. It does always be my fault. Everything is my fault!" Her tear shed unwillingly. She looked hurt, fragile and hopeless. I couldn't stand it, so I pulled her to my arms.

"Don't say that. Everyone done wrong sometime, but no one could do wrong all the time. Don't blame everything on yourself."

"But it's my fault. The riot in Alineage was because of me. If I could stop those bastards from taking the girls... If I could save them... If I... If only you know what I have done in my past, you would never say that. I'm worthless, Issara. I'm not deserved your pity. Leave me alone."

"That is the most stupid thing I ever heard!" I raised my voice, really angry. "You're not worthless, no one worthless. Nothing happened without cause and on one was existed without purpose. You know, no one could hurt you more than yourself. You must respect yourself and no one could bring you down. And no, I'm not saying this because I pity you. I do it because you're my friend. That's all important to me. I care nothing about your past."

"Have you ever been with any man, or woman, Issara?"

That question was inconsequent and blunt. I really didn't know how to reply. By the way, Millar took my red cheeks as the answer.

"I knew it. You're the pure one. Beautiful, innocence and saint; you're not like me."

Oh, not again, "Stop being so silly. That isn't the point. Yes, I'm a virgin but I'm not the pure or innocence woman. I'm not even a good person. The best thing I could do is being human... I mean person." True be told, I still didn't familiar with the races in Thedas. It's must because I never care about this race's thing.

"How could you understand me if you've know nothing about my life?" Millar looked calmer, but still didn't trust me.

"Yes, I know nothing about it. By the way, you know nothing about me too. How could you judge me by just look at my action? Everyone have their own problem, Millar. I just can handle it."

She glared at me dumbly.

"Past is past. Learn from it but not cling with it. Don't forget that we life in present. And if you need someone to talk with, I'm always your woman."

The elf Warden held and kissed my cheek. I froze from head to toe. Well, it felt strange to receive the kiss from another woman. Don't get me wrong. I had nothing against homosexual or bisexual. I just had no interest in being one of them.

"Thank you, Issara. I feel better now." She kissed me again, on lips. I might run if my legs didn't root with the ground. It's the good thing that she didn't use her tongue or I might faint.

Holy Buddha, she must thought I have feeling for her.

Anyway, Millar chuckled. "Relax; I knew you have feeling for Alistair. He is my good friend too. I won't steal his woman."

"But I'm not his woman! I mean I like him and we kissed... But he didn't..."

"Claim you...? Does it mean I still have the chance?" Her smile looked wicked. I couldn't say if she was joking or not.

I hurried say. "I prefer man. Sorry."

"You never taste any of them. How could you know which one you prefer?" Like a playboy, Millar fondled my chin with her finger, forced me to look at her eyes. "Let me teach you, Issara. You know I can't take your maidenhood. You still have your virtue for Alistair or anyone you prefer."

What-what-what... How could it come to this? "I'm really sorry, Millar, but I'm not interest."

Somehow, she laughed. "I jest. Your face is priceless, you know?"

What a relief. "Oh, if you really like me, don't do that again. I almost got heart attack."

If I didn't imagine it, I thought her face seem down. By the way, it could be a ploy to distract me from lecturing about her sexual behavior.

"Whatever, we have job to do. Alistair and I is going to meet brother Genitivi. Do you want to come along?"

"Of course, I'll go. Lead the way." She smiled.

I smiled back. "Let's go."

Yeah, Issara never know how charming she was. Poor Millar just fell for someone who never has eyes on her. Perhaps I ought to arrange her with someone.