A/N: I tried a different style for this one, not only is it my first serious Yaoi (*bites knuckles*) this is also written in a simpler form than I usually write or as Engimaticrose4 calls it, my 'flowery style'. My intent was to capture the essence of the song this one-shot was inspired by. The song: 'We Looked Like Giants' By Death Cab For Cutie, focuses on thrumming bass and steady drum beats paired with simple poetics. My hope is to capture the story within the song with this one-shot, feel free to let me know if it was an epic fail. (And yes I'm aware the original song was about heterosexual lovers but I wanted an illicit tryst and I couldn't think of Haruhi pairing for it. ROFL.) Constructive criticism is always encouraged and enjoyed. Also, there's nothing explicit in this peace rating is for alluding to adult acts. If you're looking for something hard core, don't waste your time reading this.
His fingers thumped against the table. Eyes glazing over not focusing and he knew it. Kaoru's gaze flickered up to his cell phone where it sat, silent. His fingers picked up rhythm on the desk top once more.
'Try and focus on your homework,' he scolded himself.
The phone rang. Hastily, he grabbed it off the lacquered table top. He did little to disguise his breathless expectation.
"Are you alone?" it was the words he'd been dreading and desiring with equal measure.
"I'll be there in less than five."
The line went dead and he let the phone slip from his fingers. It fell with a thunk upon the carpet. His heart was hammering audibly from within his chest.
And desire was blooming in him.
There was little time before there was a knock at the door. Swallowing hard, he answered. Without preamble, he was upon him. Searing mouth sought heated flesh. Kaoru's hands tangled up his shirt just to have something to hold onto.
While Kaoru was forced against the wall, the door was slammed with an echoing finality.
"Kyouya," he moaned his name as Kyouya ripped open Kaoru's button down shirt.
"Shut up," Kyouya growled deep in his throat, lightly fisting his hands in Kaoru's auburn hair. "You know the deal."
He knew the deal, all too well. How they'd gotten here he wasn't even sure anymore, but it was best to start at the beginning…
Spring time and graduation was upon them again. It was a good place for a beginning, at the end of something else. Haruhi and Tamaki were official, Hikaru and he, were growing independent. Everyone's lives were moving forward, except Kyouya's. It was during Tamaki and Kyouya's graduation party at the host club that he first noticed. It wasn't anything much, a glimpse, a flash, what have you. But what he saw was unmistakable: it was loneliness. A feeling he could relate to. Kyouya noticed him staring and their eyes met. Looking into those gray depths felt sinking in ice water.
He put it from his mind.
Flash forward. Winter returned with all its crisp coolness. It had been months since Kaoru had seen Kyouya. Let alone thought about him. It was Tamaki's idea for them all to spend Christmas in his family's cabin in the mountains. It was Hikaru's idea for them to have separate rooms. It stung, there was no denying it.
During dinner, Tamaki and Haruhi made an announcement, they were engaged. It was shocking. But everyone was happy. Kaoru couldn't help but notice Kyouya slip away shortly after. No one else noticed.
After dinner, Kaoru excused himself to his room as well. He lied staring at the ceiling for hours, thinking. It was some time past midnight when he got out of bed. Slipping down the hall, he noticed everyone else was already asleep, even Hikaru. It was fine; he wanted the time alone.
The night air smacked him in the face and robbed his lungs momentarily of air. Shivering, he sank down onto the steps. Things were changing. He'd wanted it. He'd encouraged it. But now he feared it.
The cruel irony.
Goosebumps racked his body and he wondered why he hadn't thought to bring a coat. The crunch of snow caught his attention. Kaoru lifted his head as Kyouya stopped in the driveway.
"What are you doing out here," Kyouya said impassively.
"Couldn't sleep." Kaoru shrugged.
Kyouya sighed and made to pass Kaoru to go back inside.
Kaoru didn't need to, but he felt like he should say, "I understand."
Kyouya turned to him with the same look of ice, "Understand what, exactly?"
"Why you're lonely," Kaoru said plainly, casting fear to the wind.
Kyouya leveled him with his gaze, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
He should've let it lie. But what did he have to lose, really.
"I know you loved Haruhi; we all did."
Kyouya froze hand hovering over the door knob. And he laughed, low and mirthless. "You really think you know me that well?"
Kaoru stood up to face him, shivering from both fear and cold. "You can't seriously deny it! I've seen the way you look at them."
Kyouya's expression made him go weak in the knees. But he held his ground despite it.
"I never loved her…"
The words, 'then why?' died on his lips. Realization hit him like a punch to the gut.
Kyouya closed the space between them in an instant. "Don't you dare even breathe another syllable."
He loved Tamaki. Dear god, it had to be true.
Kyouya's hands tightened on his shirt and then released. He stalked towards the door.
Kaoru expected him to leave. Kyouya turned to face him.
"Did you lock this door?"
Kaoru stared at him perplexed.
"No, I unlocked it…"Realization flushed his freezing skin. "We're locked out aren't we?"
"We are." Kyouya's lips were drawn thin. "I don't suppose you have your cell phone on you, do you?"
Kaoru shook his head. Kyouya growled in frustration. It was disarming to see him uncontrolled like that.
Accentuating their situation, Kaoru shivered.
Kyouya eyed him disdainfully. "Come on, we'll have to wait until morning."
Kaoru had no choice but to follow.
They found an abandoned gray sedan. Who knew whom it belong to. At least it was warmer than outside. Kyouya took the driver's seat, Kaoru the passenger.
Lengthened silence followed.
"So…" Kaoru said.
"Don't." Kyouya snapped pinching the bridge of his nose, "You're the reason we're in this mess."
"Sorry," Kaoru mumbled.
The wind howled outside. Kaoru's entire body shuttered.
"Why did you go out in the snow without a jacket?"
"I wasn't planning on getting locked out in the snow." Kaoru retorted.
Kyouya glowered at him then looked out the window.
The worst luck.
There was a loud click as the trunk hatch was released. Kaoru peered over his shoulder as Kyouya stepped out into the biting wind.
He came back a few seconds later with an emergency blanket. He handed it to Kaoru wordlessly.
Thank god for Commoner's ingenuity.
Warmer, Kaoru shrugged down in his seat. At least he could try to get some sleep.
But sleep didn't come. Kaoru watched Kyouya from the corner of his eye, instead. His head was resting on his hand. He wasn't asleep either.
"You can share my blanket, if you want."
"No thanks, I'm not playing your game."
"Who said, it was a game?"
Kyouya deemed it unnecessary to answer.
Minutes ticked by.
"You can't assume you know me, either." Kaoru said through chattering teeth.
Kyouya didn't turn to face him. "Sure."
"You don't!" Kaoru wasn't sure why it was necessary to argue the point.
"Prove it." Kyouya leveled him with his steely gaze.
A million thoughts came to mind and none of them good. Without thinking, he grabbed Kyouya by his jacket and brought towards him. His lips captured Kyouya's hesitantly at first. When Kyouya didn't pull away, he parted his lips with his tongue.
Kyouya pulled away then.
"What was that?" Kyouya looked off balanced and Kaoru had to admit it was enticing. "You shouldn't play with people like that."
"Who said I was playing with you?"
"You're not…" he let the unspoken word hang on the air. "…It's all for show for the host club." His voice had the closest thing he'd heard to human warmth, ever.
"I told you, you don't know me."
Several things happened in succession, then. Kyouya reached across the compartment. Kaoru rose up to meet his mouth. Their hands fumbled with garments, desperate to touch, skin to skin.
Somehow, they made it into the back seat. Clothes shed in haste, mouths lingering and tasting salty skin wherever they landed. Panting, Kyouya loomed above him. They were like giants in the backseat, over powering the space.
"This, it means nothing," Kyouya said harshly.
Kaoru had wanted him too bad to care.
"Nothing at all." Kaoru leaned forward absorbing Kyouya's mouth to halt his words.
What happened that night it may have been the first, but it wasn't the last. When they found them in the morning, none were the wiser.
Six months had passed. Kaoru had graduated from high school. Kyouya was on his second year at university. Somehow, at least once a week, if not more, they met for a few moments of passion.
Kyouya's apartment in the city; Kaoru's place that he shared with Hikaru; it didn't matter, when it was just them it was magic.
Love and lust, they blurred together. He didn't know up from down anymore. All he knew was Kyouya and his body and how it felt when Kyouya was inside him.
Did he want more, yes.
Did he want Kyouya to admit they were together, yes.
Would he ever get that, no.
Kyouya had an image to protect. Third sons trying to win their father's approval didn't have lovers.
Besides, Kyouya loved Tamaki not him.
Kaoru understood. But it still hurt.
What was left was taboo love. An illicit secret they kept from everyone. Kaoru was just a replacement.
But Kaoru was falling, and hard.
He loved Kyouya.
Kyouya lifted Kaoru off his feet half carrying him to the bedroom.
Clothes were shed, tossed without care. He wanted this; he lived for this. But a part of him wanted more. He hated himself for it for being this way when they were together.
Later, spent and languid, Kyouya laid with his arms folded behind his head.
Kaoru, beside him, leaned on his shoulder staring at him.
Uncharacteristically, Kyouya pulled Kaoru into his embrace. Kaoru laid his head upon Kyouya's chest listening to the rise and fall of his breathing.
Let it stay like this forever.
"I have to go soon." Kyouya said his voice heavy with languor.
"Stay a while," Kaoru sighed, hands curling around Kyouya's chest.
They fell asleep.
Hours later, they didn't hear the front door open or Hikaru as he stomped around the apartment.
The door to the bedroom opened and a shout of surprise woke them.
"What the hell?"
Kaoru jumped up, wide eyed.
Kyouya gracefully rose to a seated position.
"Kyouya… Kaoru…What?" Hikaru stammered.
Kaoru jumped to his feet. Grabbing whatever he could, he tried to shield his naked body.
"It's not what it looks like."
Kyouya rose from the bed and pulled on his pants in silence.
"What the hell is going on?" Hikaru demanded.
"Well… you see…" Kaoru cast in Kyouya's direction he was being too quiet.
Say something damn it! This is your secret!
Kyouya slipped on his shirt. Then he faced Kaoru.
"You know, Kaoru, I've never been good at keeping secrets." He slipped a possessive hand around Kaoru's waist. "Hikaru, me and Kaoru, are seeing one another. Is there a problem with that?"
Secrets be damned.
He loved Kyouya.
And Kyouya loved him back.