If anyone happens to look at my other stories you will notice all of them (to the point I post this, at least) are of shounen ai/yaoi pairings. This story was one I wanted to write as a "proof I could write something non-gay." I also came up with a really funny scenario and wanted to write about it. But, I mostly suceeded on keeping things straight. There is a small snippit at the very end that involves homosexuality, but it is not explicit and serves more so as humor. Still for those of you who don't care for that type of stuff, I have given you proper warning.
A note for this and *SPOILER for passed chapter 421*, I came up with this scene before I read the part where Ichigo loses his shinigami powers.
I do not own Bleach :'(
Ichigo was faced with a slight problem. Wondering through the buildings in Seireitei trying to solve it didn't seem to be helping much, and only accomplished getting him lost. More often than not he ran into dead ends, but was too proud to ask any of the shinigami for directions. He knew that soon he would get fed up with being lost and take to the rooftops, so there really was no point in asking for directions.
The problem that had been troubling Ichigo for a while now was one he had thought of several times in the last month or so. He was nineteen now, and had been dating Rukia for over a year. Feeling it was time to go a step further, he was going to ask her to marry him. But she didn't really have any parents for him to ask permission from. Stopping for what had to be the hundredth time, the orange-haired shinigami let out a prolonged sigh and hung his head. His original plan when he came to Soul Society was to ask Captain-Commander Yamamoto, since he was the most influential shinigami since the Central 46 Chambers had yet to be fully reestablished. That notion was quickly thrown away, though. After all, who asks their girlfriend's boss if they can marry her? He then figured he ask Ukitake, since she was in his squad and he seemed fatherly, but he was also technically her boss.
Looking around and finding nothing familiar (not that much can seem familiar in the maze called Seireitei), Ichigo finally decided to get out of the streets and leapt onto the roof. Realizing he was farther away than he was a moment ago, he frustratingly sat down to brood. Why the hell did they have to make that place so damn complicated? he complained. Several lesser shinigami ran by, seemingly knowledgeable of their route. And how the hell do some people know how to get around?
Looking back to the cluster of buildings the captains used, Ichigo finally gave in and went with his last option; he'd ask Byakuya. The guy was her brother, that should be close enough. But he also didn't care much for Ichigo, and while he didn't stop them when they first got together, he silently disapproved. Or so it seemed, at least.
Stretching his legs as he stood, Ichigo took in a deep breath and vanished from the spot, appearing a couple rooftops closer to his destination as he used Shunpo. No matter how many times he thanked Yoruichi, it would never be enough for the skills she taught him.
Byakuya was in his office when Ichigo arrived, saving the substitute shinigami from having to hunt around for him. "Oi, Byakuya," he started.
"I'm busy right now, come back later," the captain said simply, cutting Ichigo of before he could continue speaking. He didn't even look up from the papers he was going over.
"Hey! I need to talk to you about something important and you cut me off before I can even start?" Ichigo growled, storming over to the Captain's desk and slamming his palms on the wood.
"Maybe if you had come at a time I wasn't busy I wouldn't brush you off," the dark-haired male replied, setting the finished paper aside and grabbing the next one in the stack. "Now shoo, leave me alone."
"Fine, I'll go," the shinigami substitute said, hiding the smug look on his face by turning around. "But then I guess I don't need to ask you something about Rukia." He could almost feel Byakuya flinch behind him at his little sister's name.
"Wait, what about Rukia?" he commanded, standing from his desk and walking around it.
"Nope, you told me to leave," Ichigo yawned, casually strolling towards the door. Just as he was opening the door a hand grabbed his wrist harshly, turning him around to face the scowling older male. "So you want to talk now, huh?"
Glare never wavering, Byakuya said, "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want an answer. Normally I wouldn't waste my breath on you, but you mentioned my sister so I'm afraid I have to."
"Waste your breath on me?" the orange-haired vizard growled, roughly grabbing the front of Byakuya's robes in his fists. "Fine then, I won't actually ask you if I have permission to marry Rukia!"
"Marry Rukia?" his opponent laughed, smirking arrogantly. "And here I've been under the impression you were dating Renji."
Ichigo's expression went from shocked to enraged. Shoving the older male until he dug into the floor, the orange-haired shinigami shouted, "You know very well I've been dating Rukia for over a year!" The smug grin never left Byakuya's face, and he easily caught the fist aimed for his face. "Who the hell would like Renji, anyway? He's obnoxious and annoying."
"Kind of like you," Byakuya stated, only feeding Ichigo's anger.
"Although, it's strange you would think I was going out with Renji," the younger man stated, taking in a deep breath to calm himself. "For, you see, now that I think about it there is one person I can think of liking Renji. After all, I've been under the impression for a while now that you two were secretly-" Ichigo cut off there, making a clicking sound with his tongue and sending Byakuya a wink in place of words. The shinigami captain did not miss the implications of Ichigo's actions, and the accusation set him off.
"How dare you? Renji and I are Captain and Vice-Captain, nothing more," he shouted. Now it was his turn to hoist the other male up by the collar of his robes, slamming Ichigo against the wall.
"Oh really? You seem a little too eager to defend yourself," the nineteen-year-old quipped, kicking at Byakuya. The Captain stepped back before the blow connected, but he had to release Ichigo in the process and the orange-haired male calmly brushed himself off before taking a couple steps forward.
"Of course I would defend myself," Byakuya stated, straightening out his own collar. "I can't simply let you make such an outrageous accusation. Why would I want a brat like that anyway?"
Crossing his arms and smirking, Ichigo took a deep breath, then, "Byakuya and Renji, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes loooove, then comes-ow!" A fist to the face cut him off, giving him a bloody nose but not removing his smirk. "Then comes ow. That should be a part of the song too," he jested, giving Byakuya another wink to indicate what he meant.
"You are entirely immature!" Byakuya fumed, fist raised to strike again.
Grinning again, Ichigo started the child's sing-song again, dodging the next punch Byakuya threw at him and catching the third. "So, should I be expecting a niece or nephew from you two?" he chuckled, catching Byakuya's other fist.
"I am not with Renji!"
A small, black-haired girl kicked off of her leaning post, hiding a chuckle behind her hand. She could honestly say there were no other people who could anger her brother like her boyfriend could. He even got the normally uptight Byakuya to resort to fist fighting.
Casually walking down the path, a flash of red caught her attention. There, strictly berating a first year student for holding the practice sword wrong, was Renji. Silently walking up behind him, she peered over his shoulder, put her head right next to his ear, and yelled, "Hi Renji!" The Vice-Captain nearly jumped out of his skin, turning around and jumping away from her in one, fluid movement.
"R-Rukia? What was that for?" the red-haired shinigami asked, flustered.
Giggling at his reaction, she nodded to the student to dismiss him, the poor guy hastily retreating. "You know, you don't have to be so hard on them," she said, innocently walking towards him. "Do remember that we were once just like them, young and inexperienced. This is only his first year, he'll learn as he goes on. Besides, I'm thinking he was left handed, so he was holding the sword properly."
A slight red started tinting the Vice-Captain's cheeks, Renji looking away from her. "Oh," was all he could muster to say.
Slamming her fist into her palm, and startling Renji again, Rukia suddenly said, "Oh, that's right. I stopped to tell you something. Ichigo and Byakuya are arguing in the Captain's room. I thought you might want to know."
"And why would I want to know?" the redhead asked, tipping his head to the side slightly.
"Because they are arguing over whether or not you are dating my brother," Rukia replied.
"What?" Renji shouted, face going red with anger. In the next instant he was gone, Shunpo-ing his way to the Captain's room.
Several minutes later Hanatarou walked by the room, stopping to look in the open door because a lot of noise was coming from it. The three combatants were lost in a cloud of dust, a head seen here for a second, or an arm or a foot. They were all shouting so he couldn't tell what any of them were saying. Not wanting to accidently get involved in the combat, he quickly continued on his way, almost certain that soon he would be seeing Ichigo, Renji, and Byakuya in the medical ward.
Ichigo never did end up getting Byakuya's permission to marry Rukia. He did anyway, though.
"I still can't believe you used me as an insult," Renji grumbled, flopping down on the couch.
"Oh, come on. You're still going on about that? That was over two months ago," Byakuya sighed, looking up from the book he was reading to his redheaded Vice-Captain. "Now, come over here and get in bed."
Huffing, Renji stayed where was for a second before finally giving in and ambling over to bed.
I can just imagine Ichigousing that childish song to annoy the hell out of Byakuya. And being all well-manner and composed as he is, it would tick him off. And the humor in it is he actually is with Renji XD
Hope you enjoyed it!