Disclaimer: Bleach and its characters do not belong to me.


He remembers he used to come home almost everyday in tears. It's funny to picture really, seeing how emotionally detached he is now. But even he, at six years of age, was not immune to bullies and taunts.

He remembers always running straight to his room. At a young age he had learned about pride; his father, he knew, was a highly respected member in the community and was always steady in any situation. Learning from his father's actions, he had also learned that showing anyone weakness would only humiliate him, and so he had decided to hold in his tears and complaints until he had reached the security of his bedroom.

There, he would find the one person who could always calm him and raise his spirits (they shared the room, after all).

He had always looked up to his brother, so kind and accepting of any man or thing, despite their impression. His brother was always able to find the good in someone, and he always encouraged him to do the same. He had never gotten the hang of it; too many fights at school had taught him at an early age how cruel people could be for no reason. However, his sunny brother, the complete opposite of him, had been his role model.

"What's wrong, chibi me?" he would ask whenever he noticed the tears, using the endearing nickname he had come up with after listening to many others exclaim about their likeness in appearance.

"S-Shiro-nii," A sniffle and a pout usually followed. "Th-the meanies were making fun of my h-hair again, calling me an old m-man because it's w-white and-"

And his brother would flash a sympathetic smile, tuck his own long white hair behind his ear, pull him onto his lap, and softly pat his back until the tears stopped, all the while murmuring softly in his ear that all the other kids were just jealous of his hair, and that one day, they would understand what a great person he really was. The tears would stop soon after, and the two would head down to the kitchen together and scarf down a bunch of watermelon, regardless of the time or weather.

Sometimes he came home not in tears, but in rage. A bad day at school always put him off, and he would ignore everyone, slamming the bedroom door shut behind him as he entered his sanctuary. His older brother would follow him up and listen to him intently as he slandered everyone and everything, mad at the world because of everything that had not gone his way.

"Calm down, chibi me. You can't expect everything to be the way you want. The universe is unpredictable, and you just have to trust it and believe that in the end, everything will turn out alright."

That advice had gotten him through a lot. But it was wrong. The universe could not be trusted, because it just didn't give a damn.

It didn't give a damn when he was beaten up everyday for being so "abnormal." It didn't give a damn when his childhood, and only, friend had moved away, leaving him to face school alone. It didn't give a damn when his brother, the one person in the world who whole-heartedly deserved happiness, was diagnosed with a hopeless illness and admitted into the hospital full-time. And it most definitely didn't give a damn when the only person that had ever defended it, his older brother Hitsugaya Jyuushiro, had died, too young and too undeserving.


So, this is my first story (how exciting!). This is probably going to be the most serious one I write. I've started on others and they're pretty care-free, so I am a little worried about how this one will turn out since it doesn't seem like my style, but hopefully you'll like it.

Note: Jyuushiro, Rangiku, and Gin's surnames have all been changed to Hitsugaya, because they are all part of Toushiro's family in this story.

I'm not going to insist on a review, but if you have any thoughts, even flames, I'll welcome them. I would like to improve as I continue so suggestions would be awesome.

Thank You!