Like We Used To
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, JK does, nor do I own the song, Like We Used To, that belongs to A Rocket to the Moon.
A/N: I would just like to give a big thanks to PinkRose for beta-ing this for me, and other than that, please review and enjoy.
It seems like it's been forever since I've held you in my arms... Forever since you were right here next to me; your head on my chest, my arm around you; fingers drawing lazy circles on your back as you slowly breathe in and out, fast asleep; a small smile on your lips... My bed is empty tonight though, your side deserted and cold, much like my heart these days since you left...
I can feel her breath as she's sleeping next to me,
sharing pillows and cold feet.
She can feel my heart; fell asleep to its beat
under blankets and warm sheets.
If only I could be in that bed again,
if only it were me instead of him..
10 months... 10 wonderful months... I still remember the first kiss; chaste and desperate. Completely unexpected. Heh, I was sure you hated me as I backed away, horrified at what I had just done. You're beautiful emerald eyes were wide with shock, your mouth, your perfect, red mouth, plump lips, opened slightly as you tried to grasp what had just happened. Not a minute ago we were throwing insults back and forth, normal for the two of us, but it went a bit further than usual that time...
I could see you on the other side of the room, face flushed in anger, your green eyes glowing brilliantly in rage, I'm sure my face must have looked quite the same. It was to the point where I couldn't even really remember what had sparked the fight, what I had said to make you so angry that you had grabbed hold of my robes and shoved me into the nearest empty classroom, whipped out your wand and had it pointed right at me.
"What are you going to do, Potter?" I had sneered. "You going to kill me?" I saw something flash in your eyes then, at the time I had been sure it was consideration to take my offer.
I don't know what happened then, but something inside me broke then. Your eyes, those beautiful eyes, they looked so angry... And as I thought back, all I had ever seen in those eyes - when they were turned in my direction anyway - was anger... disgust... hate... That hurt the most. All I had ever wanted to see in those eyes was love. Love for me... I had watched you, for months, maybe even years... Those green eyes were absolutely beautiful when they were filled with laughter, happiness... But even when they were trained on me and shooting daggers... they were still stunning.
And it was with this realization, the realization that all I was ever going to find in those eyes was hate... than I had let the facade fall. The sneer dropped from my lips, my eyes downcast, swallowing past the lump in my throat I managed to whisper, "Go ahead,"
I heard you let out a small gasp. I managed to pull my eyes up to look at you and saw you regarding me with a look of pure shock and confusion.
"It's what you've always wanted to do, isn't it?" I whispered. "Get rid of me...? Your life would be so much easier... Everyone's would..." I could feel tears prickling my eyes, as my repressed feelings of uselessness, self-loathing, feelings I had always managed to hide behind the mask of egotism began to take over.
It was then that I noticed tears sparkling in your eyes as well. I was so confused, I couldn't understand. I guess you had never seen me this vulnerable before. And as I gazed at you, it was then you whispered, "Why Draco? Why do we have to do this to each other all the time...?"
It was the first time you had ever called me by my first name. "I..." that was all I managed to get out before something took over, and before I could stop myself I had crossed the room, grabbed you by the front of your robes and crushed our mouths together. It was breathtaking.
Then as the reality of what I had done hit me, I had backed away, horrified. I could see how shocked you were, and I was positive that you really were going to kill me after that. I immediately opened my mouth to begin frantically apologizing. "Potter, I-" but you cut me short.
"Harry." you said. "It's Harry." And then your lips were on mine again, and we were clinging to each other for dear life, our mouths moving in perfect harmony together. Then as your hands came up to cup my face I felt your tongue on my bottom lip, seeking entrance, and with a surprised gasp, I granted it. And as our tongues danced together, all I could think was we were a match made in heaven. There was no other way a simple kiss could be so amazing. But then again, it was you. The boy I had been in love with for as long as I could remember.
Finally, you slowly pulled away, but you kept your hands on my face, and your thumbs began to trace along my jaw, then along my lips, your green eyes, Merlin, were they green, searching mine.
Finally you whispered, "Draco... how... what... you hate me..." I let out a small laugh.
"You're an idiot." I stated. You frowned. "Harry... I never hated you. I just... All I wanted was for you to notice me, to get your attention. I admit, I went about it the wrong way, but I'm a Slytherin, you're a Gryffindor, I didn't know how else to get your attention other than to make you my enemy... But that was so far from what I wanted. I never wanted to be your enemy... Harry, I-" I couldn't look at you, fearing rejection I cast my eyes to the ground as I let the three words I had always wanted to say to you fall from my lips. "I love you." Silence for a moment, and then...
"Draco," you whispered. I still refused to look at you. "Draco, look at me." you said a little more sternly. Somehow I managed to bring my eyes up to your's. "Now, what did you say?" you asked me softly. I know you had heard me, there was noway you couldn't have, but regardless, I opened my mouth and my eyes shot down again, "I-" "Draco." You said. "Look at me." So I did, and I said it again. "I love you, Harry. I always have." And then you did the last thing I ever expected... You smiled. A dazzling, ecstatic smile, and you whispered, "I love you too, Draco." And leaned in to capture my lips with yours once again.
Fourteen months and seven days ago
Oh, I know you know
How we felt about that night
Just your skin against the window
Oh we took it slow
And we both know
It should have been me inside that car
It should have been me instead of him in the dark
I still remember out first time... The stillness of the Gryffindor boy's dorm, as we lay next to each other, your head was on my chest and we were wrapped in each others arms, our heartbeats synchronized perfectly as we just drank in the moment. It was then that you lifted your head off my chest and kissed me ever so gently and whispered, "Draco...?"
"Hmm?" I asked, running my fingers across his cheek, looking up into his eyes. You leaned in and kissed me again, long and slow. You pulled away, just ever so slightly, and I could feel your breath on my lips as you whispered, "Make love to me Draco," I felt my breath catch and pulled back and looked him right in the eyes as my heart began to pound. "Harry... are you sure?" I asked searching his eyes for any sign of doubt.
"I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life." He replied. And looking in his eyes, I didn't see any trace of doubt. We had messed around before, but we had never gone all the way. It was 5 months into our relationship, but I hadn't wanted to rush him. I was by no means a virgin, but Harry was, and I wanted him to be ready. I wanted him to remember his first time as something beautiful, and special. Not something scary and painful like mine had been.
"It's going to hurt a bit at first," I warned him.
"I know," he answered. "But I love you, Draco. I trust you. Please, I want you so bad..."
So I smiled, and pulled him in for another kiss. "Okay." I whispered against his lips.
And it had been beautiful. We had fallen asleep in each others arms that night, so happy, so in love.
But your in someone else's arms now. Someone else is loving you in the way only I was supposed to...
Does he watch your favorite movies?
Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts
When you've seen it a million times?
Does he sing to all your music
While you dance to Purple Rain?
Does he do all these things
Like I used to?
I know, Love
(I'm a sucker for that feeling)
Happens all the time, Love
(I always end up feeling cheated)
You're on my mind, Love
(Oh darling, led her where that leaded)
It happens all the time, Love, yeah
I'm so sorry Harry. I never should have let you go. I never should have let some stupid school rivalry get in the way of something so meaningful, so precious. So what if our friends didn't approve? Our love was stronger than that, but I got scared. If it was just our friends that reacted so horribly, how would my parents react? But it shouldn't even have mattered... I fucked up Harry, and I'm so so sorry...
Will he love you like I loved you?
Will he tell you every day?
Will he make you make you feel like you're invincible
With every word he'll say?
Can you promise me if this was right,
Don't throw this all away?
Can you do all these things?
Will you do all these things
Like we used to?
I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, I know I hurt you, Harry, but I hope that maybe someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me... I hope someday you'll be able to find happiness again. But even if you've moved on... I still love you more than anything Harry. And I just want you to come back... I love you.
Oh, like we used to...
It was 2 AM when I heard my doorbell ring. Wondering who the bloody hell could be visiting me at this hour, I stumbled out of bed and to the kitchen. I hadn't even reached the door when it was flung open, and before I knew it I was tackled and found myself with an armful of you. As your scent filled my senses I wrapped my arms around you and buried my nose in your hair, just inhaling you.
"What are you doing here?" I whisper as the tears start to fall.
"I love you Draco. I love you so much. Please, I'm so sorry, I love you so much." you're sobbing now, and I wrap my arms around you a little bit tighter, and tilt your head up and bring my lips down on yours.
"I love you too, Harry. And I'm the one who should be sorry. Fuck what our friends think, fuck what my parents might say. If they can't accept us then they were never worth the time anyway. I love you Harry, and nothing is ever going to stand in the way of that again." And with that our lips met once again in a slow, sweet kiss.
We fell asleep in each others arms, and I couldn't be happier knowing, as I wrapped my arms around my lover tighter and pulled him closer, that everything was finally, going to be okay.
THE EEEEEEEEND ^-^