Title: Angry Birds
Rating: PG
Criminal Minds
Genre: Humor/Romance
Emily can't find her phone.
Author's Note: This is for microgirl8225

It wasn't in her handbag, or her messenger bag. It wasn't under any of the sofa cushions, or, like one memorable occasion after she'd come home running on about half an hour of sleep, in the vegetable crisper.

She was almost about to interrupt Dave's shower to ask him if he knew where it was, when she found it. On his nightstand.

Emily frowned.

She didn't remember leaving it there, but after careful consideration, it wasn't impossible. She was used to sleeping on the left-hand side of the bed, a position than she'd given up after moving in with David Rossi. In return, she got free reign over the television, which was a fairly good trade-off, considering all Dave ever seemed to watch was sports.

Still, more than once, she found herself getting into bed on the wrong side, or accidentally drinking Dave's coffee. It was absolutely within the realm of possibility that she'd simply put the phone down in the wrong spot.

Only it happened again.

Two days later, she was on her way out the door, and her phone wasn't in her bag. She'd absolutely made sure to put it on the right side of the bed the previous night, and it definitely wasn't in the vegetable crisper.

It was on the coffee table, conspicuously close to an oblivious Dave.

At least, he was pretending to be oblivious. He might have been able to fool a lot of people, but Emily wasn't one of them. Not only was she a profiler, but she knew his tells in and out. That was one benefit of being in a relationship.

'Were you using my phone?' she asked, trying not to snap, only she was running late, and he'd been doing God knows what.

'I was trying to get a hold of Rodriguez, from Counter Terrorism,' he explained. 'Only I think he's changed his number. I was checking to see if you had it.'

Emily frowned. It was a plausible enough answer – Rodriguez had changed his number recently – but there was still the slightest amount of deceit in Dave's voice that she couldn't shake. She couldn't fathom why he would be lying to her, or what he could be looking for. She didn't exactly have the best luck with honest boyfriends – two previous boyfriends she'd caught in a lie, and she absolutely did not want to make that number three.

At lunchtime, Emily decided that she would talk to Dave after work. If he wanted to break it off, well…admittedly, that was an eventuality that she'd prepared for.

And then it hit her.

That bastard.

That utter bastard.

He'd been playing Angry Birds.

She wouldn't have noticed it, only somehow, he'd managed to get three stars on the one level that had been bugging her for the past three weeks. She refused to look up the YouTube tutorials, or resort to using the Mighty Eagle. She needed to beat it on her own.

And now Dave had gone and beaten it for her.

After weeks of "are you still playing that game?" with an amused tone of voice, or "maybe you'd be more interested in spending time with me if I was a fat, red bird." He was being hyperbolic, of course.

She didn't spend that much time playing. Just half an hour before bed. Sometimes an hour.

Two, if there was a level that was really bugging her.

And maybe she'd watched the Angry Birds Peace Treaty video a few too many times.

But that didn't mean she was obsessed. And that didn't give him the right to ruin it for her.

Calm down, Emily, a voice inside her head said. Don't get so upset over a game.

She took a deep breath. The voice in her head was right. She couldn't get worked up over this – she liked the game, but it wasn't more important than her relationship with David Rossi.


He was in his office, going over paperwork when she knocked on the door. The reading glasses were on, which meant that she had to refrain from ripping her shirt off and doing him right there on the desk.

'Hey,' he said, with a warm smile. 'Everything okay.'

She said nothing at first, sitting down in the chair opposite him. After a few seconds of silence.

'So did you like the game?'

A guilty look spread across his face. 'It's very…consuming,' he said. That was always how it started. 'I'm sorry I did that one.'

'That's okay,' she told him. 'But rest assured – when you're about to get three stars on all of your levels, I'm gonna swoop down and ruin it all.'

'Oh, it's on, Prentiss,' he said with a grin. Emily gave an evil smile in return.

'Just so you know,' she said. 'I'm changing the passcode.'