Monty python character back story 3
the killer bunny part- 1
I am about to tell you a part from one of the lost books of the bible called "the bloopers"
it is about small errors god made. But I will tell it in a strange fashion more specifically the third person
Don't ask why.
"HEY GOD!" shouted satan "i got a bet"
"I'm not sure satan last time we had a bet it made the book of job." replied god
"Oh I guess your just a dumb english man and not a pure french man"* taunted satan
"HOW DARE YOU!" god retorted "I AM NOT ENGLISH, AND AREN'T YOU IRISH!"
"ya" replied satan "but, do you want to be me god, do you? I know you hate the irish"
"ya I do" said god "fine I don't want to be like you, what is your wager?"
"bet you can't make a cobra and a bunny at the same time"said satan with a grin
"PLEASE!" shouted god "I CAN DO THAT IN MY SLEEP, GABREIL FETCH THE WORK BENCH!"
"yes sir" replied gabriel as he fetched the work station
"ah good now to get work" god said as he grabbed 2 flooshenoozes and got to work on a bunny and a python at the same time.
He worked hard but satan had a trick up his sleeve literally, he pulled out a feather and levitated it to god's nose and moved it
"oh no" said god "A-AAA-ACHOOOOOOO" , god had sneezed and everything got mixed up
"oh no" said satan as he pressed the send button
"OH ME NO!" god yelled "WHO KNOWS WHAT TERRIBLE MONSTER WE'VE INFLICTED UPON HUMANITY!"
The creature flew to earth, it had the body of a rabbit, the brain of a python, and the teeth of a python
it landed somewhere near sydney Australia, or was it Toronto canada? anyways it shot down from the sky heading some place
when it landed it was the year 100,000,548,793,649,937 B.C. In an area with many other bunnies
one bunny came up to the python bunny, or pb, and said: "why hello there, do you want to be friends?"
the bunny seemed only about 2 months olds
pb smiled, opened his mouth to talk and said "FOOOOOOD!" as he went straight for the baby bunnies neck, and ripped it out
"OH MY GOD!" yelled the baby bunnies mother
Then pb turned it's head 360 degrees around like an owl and said in a british accent " where you are there is no god" and killed the mother as well in the same fashion, but this time used the corpse to beat the father of the now throat-less baby bunny.
Ok hold on, I need a break this is disgusting! I mean, THIS IS AWFUL. This makes every horror movie look like barny the dinosaur. WHAT SICK MIND WOULD WRITE THIS! Ok, ok I think I can go on.
Pb then picked up all three of the throat-less bunnies and..
OH MY GOD! NO, OH GOD! THIS IS HORABLE! I WILL NO LONGER READ THIS!
I need a break MOVE ON TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!
*the main reason this was banned is because it revealed that god was french