A/N: More quick one-shots~! I have no freakin' time for this…but I've had a boom of inspiration for writing for some reason…
This fic is so silly…and I've never written anything like this before. ._. I feel…one part proud and two-point-five parts ashamed.
I have so many other ideas following the "silence" theme. Man…No. Time. For. All. This. I swear. I think I'll do a "Silence is Golden" and "A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words" and I'll be done with…this silence thing. Hahaha.
(Warnings~ uh…shonen-ai/slash (boyxboy), failed attempts at humor, coarse language, possibly incoherent sentences, and, as always, probably a little OOCness. Still getting a hang of the characters
Notes~ linked to my previous fic, Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid
((Are disclaimers really necessary on a site like this?))
And Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Staring around the meeting room, Austria now thoroughly believed that the nations of the world were all. Extremely. Oblivious. Sure, a couple of them (i.e. Italy Veneziano, Spain, and America, to name a few) were known for being unable to see anything but the obvious (whether for lack of capacity or lack of trying) so it was expected of them, but the other countries…Austria had really expected more from them. At first, he had figured that they were just too used to strange things and couldn't be bothered…But now, after meeting after meeting…Austria felt that he could safely think that all the countries were either oblivious or idiots (or both), and he had proof.
When Prussia had started coming to meetings, no one had noticed the first few times. To their credit, Prussia was able to do a rather impressive imitation of Canada (though not without the threat of missing out on his daily doses of Austria-love), but still. Austria had expected someone to notice Prussia half-way through the first meeting, when Gilbird had decided it was an opportune moment to interrupt America's rant about…something or other, by flying right into the projector and dismantling it.
Austria knew Prussia had told the little bird to wreak havoc for him, and Austria was convinced that at least someone (maybe Switzerland or Hungary or GERMANY, or any number of other countries) would have noticed Prussia and said/done something about it…but other than tossing Gilbird back at Austria (AUSTRIA. Not PRUSSIA, but AUSTRIA – he had been astounded) and suspending the meeting until the projector was replaced/fixed (it never really worked the same again) nothing had happened. No kicking Prussia out of the building, no chaos and bodily harm caused to Prussia, no wondering who the hell had let him in.
All Austria could do was stare blankly, first at the slowly emptying room, then down at the little, yellow bird looking up at him expectantly, and then at Prussia, who had had a self-satisfied smirk on his face.
"Ante up," Prussia had ordered, grin growing wide when Austria had only narrowed his eyes in response.
Austria had merely deposited Gilbird on the other nation's head and stood up while shuffling his papers together. "We agreed on one whole meeting, so you haven't won yet."
Okay, so they had made a bet on whether anyone would notice or not, as one of Prussia's attempts to finally get Austria to agree to sex, and, sure, Austria had only accepted because he believed that there would be no way that no one would notice the extra presence, but that wasn't why Austria was irritated. It was more of the principle of it – he had been wrong about something that he most definitely should have been right about, no matter how quiet Prussia was being, because since when did the nations deem him as keeper of Prussia's demented, little pet?
Prussia had quickly followed him into the hall, with an almost apologetic kiss. Almost, because what had only involved lips had quickly developed to also involve a rather intrusive tongue, wandering hands, and a wall. Can't forget the wall.
And still, no one had noticed.
Angered (more by the fact that the nations still wandering the halls hadn't noticed than the fact that Prussia had almost taken him right then and there) Austria had pushed Prussia away and stalked down the hall, determined to be anywhere but there.
Austria had successfully avoided Prussia for the rest of the time until someone had found a projector to replace the other one as it was getting repaired (Austria firmly believed that any one of them could have fixed it immediately, in less time than it had taken to find a replacement, but no one had volunteered because no one wanted to listen to America talk anymore without at least a good twenty-minute break – and America hadn't because, well, he wasn't exactly the quickest) and had settled into his chair and kept his fingers (figuratively) crossed, hoping that Prussia would finally crash to the floor from leaning too far back on his chair.
No such thing had happened.
Austria had been pretty pissed by the end of the meeting, but Prussia had a solution to that.
Austria quietly scoffed and prodded Gilbird none too gently with the back of his pen and the bird chirped and ruffled its feathers in irritation. Germany was the only one who noticed and only spared him a questioning glance before going back to pretending to pay attention to whatever America was – oh, when had he started arguing with England?
Prussia frowned at him and poked him in the leg. Hard. That was not cool; leave Gilbird alone.
Austria rolled his eyes and batted the hand away. Whatever.
Prussia shrugged, but still gently slid Gilbird to sit in front of him, away from the menacing writing tool.
Austria sighed and narrowed his eyes in the general direction of the rest of the room, where no one seemed to be the slightest bit interested in talking about something of actual importance anymore. Yes. They were all idiots.
When someone did finally realize that Prussia had been sitting in on the meetings, it wasn't even because they were being observant. No, it was because Prussia had gotten bored and had started passing a note around.
Austria had only been mildly curious when the paper had slid into his line of vision until he read what was written on it.
'Write something and pass it on. :D'
Austria had let out a small sigh and rolled his eyes, but played along. If he had to admit it, he had grown a little bored himself.
He had quickly written 'Prussia's being an idiot, but I'm bored so I guess I'll humor him' and passed it to Germany. It took a few seconds, but Germany had finally noticed. He quickly read it and had stared for a good, solid moment before giving in, writing something down, and passing it along.
Austria had figured that Germany had realized Prussia's presence (finally) and just wasn't going to say anything, but when there was an notable lack of worried glances in Prussia's direction from Germany (caused by a natural instinct to keep an eye on Prussia whenever they were in the same room together), Austria had nearly visibly paled. Impossible.
He hadn't noticed.
In fact, no one had noticed until it had almost made its entire way back to Prussia.
Hungary was the one who had finally noticed, and Austria was slightly relieved, because if she hadn't noticed then no one ever would.
"Prussia is here?" She had yelled aloud in shock, startling everyone out of their mindless stupors.
Austria was almost excited. Prussia was finally going to be kicked out, and Austria could rub it in later (that he had been right, he just hadn't calculated in the nation's obvious lack of perceptiveness), but he was sorely disappointed. Despite the panic at wondering how long Prussia had been sitting there, what he could have destroyed in that time, and why in the world was he being so quiet, no one thought to ask who had had let him in and why, and after settling down and finding out that Prussia was still being quiet and hadn't actually destroyed anything…they had let him STAY.
Once things were back to normal, Austria had turned and glared at Prussia. Prussia was nursing a bump on his head (given to him by Hungary when she had realized that he was sitting much too close to Austria, but let him be after he had scooted away), but other than that was no worse for wear, and even had a big grin on his face. I win.
Austria had only glared more, was mildly surprised when Prussia didn't catch fire, and turned to (try) to listen to England speak. Leave me alone.
Prussia had gently grabbed one of his hands and had pressed a light kiss to the back of it. Oh come on, you can't ignore me.
Austria had to resist the urge to break some fingers before pulling his hand away and out of Prussia's reach. I said to leave. Me. Alone.
Austria had nearly fallen out of his chair when he felt Prussia's lips brush across his cheek. In fact, he probably would have, had Prussia not pulled him back into him. It was rather uncomfortable, since their chairs were still an inch or so apart, but he couldn't ignore what Prussia was trying to say. …I love you…
Austria had sighed and gently shoved him away, but allowed Prussia to intertwine their fingers.
And still, no one had noticed.
Austria could feel his irritation coming back but, for some odd reason, Prussia's hand firmly holding his under the table had kept that from happening. Weird.
Austria dully looked around the room; everyone was in a various stage of disinterest and/or near-sleep. He frowned. It wasn't as if he and Prussia were trying to be secretive. Austria could care less if anyone knew and was actually surprised that Prussia wasn't being louder about it. Well, he would have been surprised had Prussia not already shocked him from being able to be shocked by him…if that made sense.
In fact, the only reason Austria hadn't said anything himself was because he was curious as to how long it would take them to notice. It took a while, but Germany had finally noticed a month or so ago…but it had taken him walking in on them by accident one day for that to happen… The small part of his mind that hadn't been busy being embarrassed had been a little disappointed that Germany didn't have much of a reaction besides a very awkward congratulation. But, at least he had noticed!
Besides Germany, the only other nation who had noticed was Hungary. That was because she had let herself in Austria's house early one morning to find Prussia in a state of half-dress, not blowing up Austria's kitchen. Her reaction was a little bit more interesting, but Austria couldn't say it was unexpected. She had promptly threatened Prussia with the nearest piece of cookware (a hot skillet off the stove), and once she was done assuring herself that it was completely consensual, she had smiled, set the skillet back on the stove, and had even gone about preparing breakfast herself, happily mumbling under her breath. It had freaked Prussia out and had amused Austria to no end, when he had finally trailed into the dining room to see Prussia giving Hungary suspicious glares from across the table.
However, they were the only two who had noticed, and it had been months.
Austria sighed and refused to slam his head against the table. O-B-L-I-V-I-O-U-S.
There was a unanimous sigh of relief throughout the room as the lunch break was finally called. Prussia never waited for the room to empty before he started talking again, but no one ever seemed to notice or care.
"Finally," Prussia would groan loudly, leaning back in his chair so much that Austria was sure he would fall over – but he never did, of course. "Fuck, I don't understand how anyone could stand listening to him, it's driving me crazy and I'm not even paying attention most of the time!" Prussia always had to complain first, before he said anything else.
"It's not all that terrible," Austria usually muttered in response as he rose from his chair, stretching and resisting the temptation to tip Prussia over. "He has good ideas, occasionally."
Prussia would always scoff in derision before standing as well and intertwining their fingers. "Whatever. I'm hungry; stop being so slow," he would then demand and later add, "Well? Where do you want to go?" after Austria didn't respond.
Austria would almost always say something along the lines of, "There's a small place nearby," before leading them out of the room.
Prussia then always, always and without fail, would feel the urgent need to molest him in the hallway. And Austria would let him for a few minutes, mostly to see if anyone would notice, before pushing him away and angrily leaving, when no one noticed. Prussia would always follow and calm him down, but the fact remained that despite this happening every. Single. Time. No one. Ever. Noticed.
"I'm having sex with Prussia," Austria loudly declared.
He got a half-embarrassed, half-concerned glance from Germany and a wide grin from Prussia, but that was about it.
He clenched his jaw in irritation.
This was ridiculous.
He slammed his hands on the table, held in his wince, and stood, letting his chair fall loudly to the floor. That got everyone's attention. Everyone (America, England, France, namely) stopped fighting, heads turned, Greece actually woke up, Germany's expression became half-surprised, half-concerned, and Prussia's grin grew wider.
Satisfied that he had gained everyone's attention, Austria turned to Prussia, grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket, and pulled him up for a firm kiss. Prussia stood quite willingly, and eagerly responded, cupping Austria's cheeks and pulling him in even closer, if that was possible.
It was completely silent, for once, until a moan had escaped from either one of them as Prussia settled his hands on Austria's hips and pushed him against the table.
Then, America (the part of Austria's mind not occupied with dealing with Prussia gave him a small applause at being the first to speak) yelled out, "Holy shit, since when have they been together?"
Sheer. Utter. Chaos.
When they separated to breathe (because that's actually necessary to live), Austria leaned back, half-sitting on the table, and reveled in the sounds of unadulterated panic going on around him. He smiled up at Prussia, satisfaction showing clearly on his face, and sat back down, as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on.
Prussia stood there for a moment, frozen with the surprise that Austria had simply sat back down (what? No sex?) and the absolute, sexy, brain-breaking image of Austria, prim, proper AUSTRIA, purposely causing mass confusion and chaos, before deciding to just sit back down, albeit a bit stiffly.
Austria looked, with great pride, at the loudly arguing and panicking nations in front of him. Well, Italy was humming to himself, telling Germany that it was nice that they were finally together (wow, Italy had noticed?), and…Japan was huddled with Hungary over what seemed to be a camera (he wasn't going to think about that…), but, all was finally right with the world. He had finally gotten the reaction he expected, wanted, even.
He didn't even startle like he normally would have when Prussia's hand landed firmly on his thigh and traveled dangerously close to his groin. Damn it, Austria. You fucking TEASE.
Austria just turned and smirked at him. Later, in a few minutes. He looked over to the frantically speaking nations and nodded over to them before looking back at Prussia. It shouldn't be too hard to get away. And fuck if that wasn't even remotely hot.
Satisfied, Prussia leaned over, gave Austria a slow kiss, and then leaned back in his chair, enjoying a chaos that he didn't create, for once, and gently but firmly, and oh so casually, squeezed Austria's thigh. I love you so damn much.
Clasping Prussia's hand, Austria smiled while trying to figure out what the best way was to escape from the room. He never really believed it, but this pretty much proved it. Actions really spoke louder than words…even if it was just a little bit louder – because, really, how long could it possibly take to notice how Prussia had his hands all over Austria, and that Austria didn't mind?
Well, he couldn't truthfully say that the other nations' overwhelming oblivious idiocy didn't come with some perks. Especially when that oblivious idiocy allowed him and Prussia to easily slip out of the chaotic meeting room unnoticed and find a nice, secluded (lockable) room all to themselves.