Attention: Beautiful Disaster is for my younger audience. This fic, however, will not be. Its rated M for a reason, so please if you are under 18, DO NOT READ. The Cullen's unhealthy obsession in Bella will cause her to break mentally and physically. Later on, their obsession with her will result in a chaotic relationship that hurts everyone. Obviously, it's not going to be a happy fic. So please, take my advice.
FYI: This takes place in Eclipse.
I was, as usual, ridiculously excited to go over to the Cullen's house. Edward was waiting for me in my bedroom, and I was anxious to get back to him. Lately, things have been strained between us. He does not agree with my relationship with Jacob, along with my other wishes. I have been trying to convince him that Jake is not a bad guy, and he is my best friend. He, of course, thinks that I should be satisfied with Alice as my best friend. It progresses on from there. This, along with my request to be changed and pushing our physical aspect of our relationship, has caused a ridiculous number of arguments between us. I am sick and tired of fighting with him, but when it comes to these three subjects, he always manages to push just the right amount of buttons. His family has witnessed, or rather overheard, several of these arguments. Quite frankly, it's embarrassing. I don't want them to put up with that, and can't stand their looks of pity afterwards. However, it seems as if the Cullen's mansion limits our amount of arguments between us. I think Edward dislikes the fact that his family can overhear us just as much as I do, so we're pretty much safe. If we do fight over there, its when I want a little more than pecks on the cheeks for affection.
I shook my head, trying to clear it. I looked at my hand, not surprised to find nail indents as a result from my clenched fists. I was lucky I didn't draw blood. I smiled to myself, visualizing the events that would unfold if I did draw blood. Just like my birthday… Stop it Bella! I scolded myself, mentally; this was not what I should be thinking about on a special day like this! I should be happy! I once again thanked my lucky stars that Edward could not read my mind. I could only imagine what he'd say if he just "heard" my little rant. I sighed, looking at my pitiful reflection in the mirror. No amount of makeup I put on would ever make me look less ugly in comparison to the Cullens. Still, I applied some iridescent eye shadow that Alice got for me on her latest shopping spree, and curled my long lashes. I also decided to throw on some brown mascara and a rose-colored lip-gloss. I looked in the mirror again, pleased at what I saw. After I finished curling my hair, I was ready to get dressed. Unfortunately, I had forgotten my clothes in my bedroom. I cursed myself, mentally of course, for my stupidity. I could have avoided another argument if I had just brought my clothes to the bathroom, but I forgot. I braced myself for the inevitable, and opened the bathroom door.
Edward looked up from his position on my bed, and his eyes widened slightly. He straightened out, taking in my lack of clothes. I just had a towel on, as if his scrutiny didn't make me feel unworthy enough. His eyes darkened slightly, but not out of lust. No, of course not. The small flame of hope inside me dimmed a little further as I took in his lack of reaction to my attire. Even when I knew he would react the way he always did, a small part of me still hoped he would show a lustful response. I lost count of all the times I had daydreamed that he would see me in a towel. He would walk toward me, and push me softly against the wall, French-kissing me for the first time. Or maybe even just say that I looked beautiful, just like the sensitive men in the romance books do. Just… something. These were the moments that caused me to cry when I finally was alone, which wasn't very often. All of the rejection and hurtful phrases build up inside of me, and they need to be let out at some point. I filed this moment away for later, and returned my mind to the present. What I was greeted with wasn't very pleasant.
Edward's beautiful amber eyes, now clouded with anger, flicked up to meet mine. "What are you doing in here, undressed, when you know that I am in here?" His normally soothing deep voice was jarred and dripping with venom. Another hurtful statement, another tear saved for later.
"I… uhm…" Damn his intimidating nature! Sometimes I wish he could read my mind. Then he would get an earful! I cleared my throat nervously, curse him, and tried again. "I had forgotten to grab my clothes before I showered." I met his gaze evenly, but with a defensive and hard note in my voice. His smoldering gaze froze a little more, before he prepared to speak again.
"You forgot? Are you sure? You didn't 'forget' to leave your clothes in here so I could see you in a towel? Is this another pitiful attempt at seducing me, Isabella? Because you've failed yet again!"
Tears began to fill my eyes, but I forced them back. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of how much his false accusations hurt me. There was another time and place where I could relieve my pain, but now was not that time. I needed to defend myself. "Wrong on all accounts Edward. Now can I please retrieve my clothes so I can change in the bathroom? I don't want you to feel disgusted and uncomfortable by my appearance, as you obviously are now." The steel in my voice caused him to cringe, and his eyes softened.
"Bella…" This was the only reason why I stayed with him. This moment and his family. At least I knew he was somewhat regretful for what he said.
"Forget it Edward." I marched over to my closet, snatched a pair of jeans and a cute blouse Alice got for me, as well as a matching bra and underwear set, before returning to the bathroom. I tugged my clothes on at a ridiculously furious pace, before entering my bedroom. Edward looked a little ashamed, as he should be, and reached out for my hand.
He looked up and tentatively smiled, for which I met with a cold stare.
"Bella…" he tried again.
"I said forget it, Edward." He sighed quietly, but did not argue with me. I could tell he was trying to avoid a fight as much as I was. I grabbed his hand, and he slung me on his back. After securing me, he walked over to the window and leapt out into the night.
So, what did you think? You'll see, it'll get better. Reviews make me happy… and make me write faster . I plan to do the same drill for this fic as well as my other one. At least once a month for updates, but I'll update whenever I have time. If it happens to be only one update that month, I'll try to go to, let's see… 5000 words? Does that sound okay? Reviewers will get a sneak peak, well, nice ones , but let me know what you're thinking!
Thanks for all the support!