A/N: This was my submission for the Share Your Inspiration contest. It was co-winner with Sparkling Twilight for Judges Choice by A Cullen Wannabe. To say that I'm shocked and amazed would be an understatement. To even have my penname anywhere near these two fantastic writers is an honor for me. I'll be adding another chapter from Edwards POV soon so be sure to put this story on alert. Thanks so much for all your support and BIG thanks and a big sloppy kiss to BellesYellowRose for doing an awesome beta job.
Summary: At what point do you decide that enough is enough? Can you reach your breaking point and end it, even if it's the last thing you want to do? How do you tell someone to leave, when all you want them to do is stay? Rated M for lemons.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the song Stay.
Source of Inspiration: The song 'Stay' by Sugarland
It's early, really early. The clock says two in the morning but time seems irrelevant now. We had been together since we'd left work, five hours and three condoms and I still wasn't sated. Not for sex though. I needed his body. I needed it next to mine curled up behind me. It hurt so bad that I could barely breathe. The dull ache in my chest had turned to sharp jabs when I came to the decision of what I had to do. I literally felt like I was dying. An hour ago his hands were on my body touching, rubbing, tasting. Then his cell phone rang.
"I have to get that, love"
"Edward, just don't answer it."
"I have to Bella." he chaste me
"Hello?" I begged in my mind, I pleaded don't be her, please don't be her, "Yeah, this case is just giving me problems Kate. I'm leaving now. I'll be home in ten minutes."
He closed his phone and sighed rubbing his hand down his face and got up out of my bed picking his clothes up off the floor and started pulling them on. I sat up in the middle of my bed the sheets tangled in my legs, I was still naked and sweaty from our love making.
"Please Edward, please don't go. Tell her you're sleeping at the office, you've done it before." When had this become my life? Had I really been reduced to begging?
"Bella, love I can't. Megan's fifth birthday is this weekend; we're leaving early in the morning to visit Kate's family in the Hampton's. I have to go. I'll stay next time I promise."
"Edward, you've been promising that the last two months. Please just tonight, I need you." I dropped my head down letting my long brown hair curtain around my face. I had felt the traitorous tears, and I didn't want him to see them. He must have heard it in my voice though. He sat on the bed in front of me fully dressed and grabbed my chin forcing it up so he could look at me. Using his hands he wiped my tears off my cheeks and kissed my forehead, then my temple, my jaw, my chin, and to my lips.
"Please love, don't cry. I can't stand to see you upset, I'm so sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you."
"Edward she doesn't love you like I do. What do I have to do to make you see that?"
"I know you do sweetheart, and I love you too so much."
"Please Edward, please stay." I sobbed, "I'm lonely and I miss you when you're not here."
"Oh love, you're making it very hard for me to leave. If it was something for Kate I would call her back and stay, but this is for my daughter. We'll be together permanently very soon. Just please be patient, and I promise I will belong to you and no one else, just a little bit longer. Please, love."
He bent down to put on his shoes and I suddenly felt exposed and naked. I mean I was naked and it had never bothered me before in front of Edward. All in one swoop I felt ashamed and for the first time in the year that we had been together I pulled the blanket over me covering myself.
With a final kiss on the forehead and a whispered 'I love you' he was gone. I heard him walk down the stairs, the front door click, and his car start up and pull out of my drive way. A house he swore we would one day make into a home. A home to share with Megan too and more children. He had promised three times in this past year to leave her and three times he had made up an excuse. The first time was because Megan had just started Preschool and he didn't want to upset her schedule.
"Let her get settled first." He had said.
The second time it was too close to his wife Kate's birthday. The last and most recent was because Kate's father had just been diagnosed with cancer.
"What kind of man would I be if I left my wife right after her father received that kind of news. I'll file for divorce when he's in remission. Just hold on a little longer, love."
It hit me all at once; he was never going to leave her. I felt so stupid all the sudden. I had turned into one of 'those' women. The kind that fooled herself into believing that I was the exception to the rule. I actually thought he really would leave her. He had been lying to me for the past year, maybe even lying to himself too. I didn't like sharing the man I loved and I didn't like being used, and I was tired of patiently waiting my turn.
I jumped out of bed my feet getting tangled in the sheets and ran to the toilet, throwing up the contents of my stomach. The last dinner we would ever share together sat inside the white porcelain. I flushed the remains letting the tears come full force. I turned the water in the shower scolding hot and stepped under the stream. I felt dirty and sinful, a feeling that I hadn't had before and I didn't like.
Kate was not a nice person to anyone. I had seen it first hand at company parties and when she would visit Edward at the office. Many people commented that Edward was too nice of a guy to be married to such a bitch. They all said he must stay for the sex with the gorgeous blond bombshell, or for his daughter. I knew it wasn't the sex, unless Edward was lying about that too,. He said he hadn't been intimate with Kate for the last six months. He loved his daughter dearly though.
I sat down in the tub rather ungracefully and let the hot water pound my back. I don't know how long I sat there bawling, the ache in my heart hurting so bad I felt like I was dying. When the water was icy cold, I shut the water off and literally crawled out of the tub. Lying on the rug not even making it out of the bathroom I fell asleep instantly.
The next day Edward called three times Saturday morning. Once it was evening the calls increased. In the past I would answer every time he called. The fact I had ignored him all day was probably worrying him. He called well past midnight and all day Sunday. Taking only a two hour break from calling Sunday afternoon, for cake and presents I was assuming.
I called in sick Monday something I had never done while working there the last year and a half. I worked hard in school, barreling though to graduate early with my law degree. I was hired right out of school going straight to work for Hale, Whitlock, and Cullen's. That's where I met Edward; it was an instant attraction for both of us. I held off on my desire for him for six months, I knew he was married and I wasn't a home wrecker. My mother had left my father for another man when I was five leaving me behind with him. Charlie was a fantastic father, but I knew the effects of a broken home first hand.
Six months of pushing away his flirting and advances until we were alone one night late at the office working on a case together. My hair was pulled into a messy bun and the pieces were starting to escape. Without a thought he had reached up tucking it behind my ear, like he had been doing it for years. His fingers brushed my cheek and it tingled with the wake of his touch. We both stared into each other's eyes, his green ones unyielding. I didn't even realize I had leaned forward toward him until my lips were on his. It had started as a slow soft kiss and had turned ravaged and passionate quickly.
He unbuttoned my shirt quickly and un-tucked it from my pencil skirt, kissing every square inch of skin available to him. Flicking open my bra it quickly joined my shirt on the floor. While he pulled a nipple into his mouth, I quickly worked the buttons of his shirt and slipped it off his shoulders and let it drop to the floor. My hands traveled the expanse of his chest and up around his back. Feeling the muscles ripple as he unzipped my skirt and pushed it down my hips letting it puddle at my ankles.
Quickly he picked me up setting me on the edge of his desk as I unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned his pants and pushed them and his boxers down his hips. Taking his large erection into my hand I gently squeezed from base to tip allowing his pre cum to spread over the head. The entire time our mouths never stopped kissing, whether it was lips or another patch of skin I couldn't bear not to have his mouth on me and mine on him.
Lifting my hips for him he pulled my panties down and threw them on the floor and opened the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a condom opening it and rolling it on. I didn't even want to consider why he had that in there. Thinking would have made me stop and stopping was something I just couldn't do.
He quickly placed himself at my entrance, gripping my hips tightly in his hands. He spoke the first words uttered since we started kissing.
"Look at me, Bella. I want to see your face when I push inside you for the first time."
I stared into his eyes and refused to look away. Slow and steadily he pushed in until his hips were touching my inner thighs. I had never felt so full in my life, the stretching had a hint of pain which immediately eased and gave way to pleasure.
"Oh God, Edward." I moaned.
He began a delicious and steady pace, thrusting in and out of me. Skin slapping and steady moans coming from both of us. His hands continued to trail over my body burning me from the inside out. The familiar tightening began in my lower stomach, telling me I was so close to coming. I had never had sex this intense with someone before.
"Come with me, Bella.' He whispered, I moaned feeling our bodies explode together. The desire to throw my head back in ecstasy was overwhelming but I didn't want to miss a second of him. This could never happen again.
Monday night after my pretend sickness, Edward called again. This time I answered.
"Bella! Thank God, I was so worried about you. I've been calling all weekend, than you didn't come in today. I went to Rose asking if she knew where you were, she just said you had called in sick. She wouldn't tell me anything else and I really want to see you tonight. Kate spent all day at the spa, which means she'll take a Valium tonight and Megan is at my Mom and Dads. I'll come over after Kate's in bed."
I took a deep breath, what I was about to say was going to take a whole hell of a lot of courage and it was something I really didn't even want to do. I had too though, I knew I did.
"Edward, after Kate goes to bed, I think you should stay there."
"What? Bella, love I don't understand."
"After you left Friday I did a lot of thinking, all weekend actually and I've come to a decision. I'm really sorry for doing this on the phone but I can't do it in person. I've given you a year of my life Edward and I can't wait another minute. After everything I've put into our relationship, you still won't leave her. I've given you the best of me, so why does she get the best of you? So I'll say it again. Don't leave her bed for mine, stay. I'm done begging you to stay with me. I'm lonely Edward, I want a real relationship. I want a husband and children, and you can't give me that, so just stay." I was now freely sobbing into the phone, so hard I could barely breath. I heard Edward sniff a couple of times.
"Bella," he spoke quietly into the phone, "I'm so sorry for hurting you sweetheart. I love you so much."
"Please Edward, please stop. I have to go." and I hung up the phone.
On Tuesday I went into work early and walked straight to Rosalie Cullen's office. Edward's sister in law was unusually perceptive. I was pretty sure she knew about Edward and I, but she never said anything. She was tough but sweet natured, she and I had become pretty good friends. I always kept her slightly at a distance though, since I was having an affair with her brother in-law. Another reason that I thought she knew, was because she never pressed me on the issue.
I knocked gently on the door; she was heavily pregnant due in four weeks. As the only other woman lawyer in the building besides me she had to work three times as hard, especially since she had announced that she was pregnant.
"Rose, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure Bells, are you feeling better?"
"No, not really, but that's not why I'm here. Franklin and Franklin has offered me a job and I've accepted."
She let out a long sigh. They had been after me for the last six months and I had always turned them down. Even as their offers became more and more lucrative. I had never had a reason to leave Hale, Whitlock, and Cullen's until now.
"Is this effective immediately?"
"Yes, I'm sorry Rose. I'm only working on two cases right now; I don't think it will be a problem to transfer them. I think Garrett's load is pretty light, he could probably take them."
Just then Edward walked past Rose's door, and stopped when he saw me. He looked terrible, his clothes were disheveled and he had dark circles under his eyes. His usual milky complexion was looking grey and his eyes were red as if he had been crying. He continued to walk quickly down to his office. I sat in silence with Rose for five minutes while she just stared at me. I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes so I stood to leave.
"Bells?" Rose asked softly
"Did you end it with him?"
I just stared into her sympathetic blue eyes. "Yes, Rose I did."
She nodded her head in understanding, "Good for you Bella. You should never have to share the man you love. You deserve better than that."
All I could do was nod my head in return and I started toward her door to leave.
"Bells?" she called after me one last time and I stopped in her doorway turning around to look at her, "Friday at Maggie's pub, normal time?"
"That would be great, Rose." She smiled at me going back to work.
I cleared out my office quickly, only taking what was absolutely necessary. I didn't want Edward to know until after I had already left so I had to be fast. I was successful and for the next six weeks I worked diligently at Franklin and Franklin. I worked, ate, slept and had dinner with Rose every Friday until she had her baby. I went to the hospital only when I knew Edward wouldn't be there. I hadn't contacted him and he hadn't tried to contact me. Rose tried to talk to me about him, but I refused to hear anything she had to say. After a couple of tries she finally stopped.
It was late Friday night; Rose had skipped dinner since Emmett wasn't available to take care of their daughter. I spent it at home since a downpour was coming from the sky. It was raining so hard I could barely see across the street. I was about to go upstairs to bed when a knock on the door interrupted. I threw open the door and standing there was Edward shivering and soaking wet.
"Edward? What are you doing here?"
"Here," he said thrusting a manila envelope at me.
I opened it keeping him on the uncovered porch. Pulling open the clasps I pulled out the official looking documents. Divorce papers. For Edward and Kate Cullen. All of them signed and notarized. He was officially divorced.
"I never lied to you Bella. I was always honest with you, I swear. I always knew I would leave her for you; all my stupid reasons though were just that stupid. I honestly believed you would always be there waiting so that's why I waited for the perfect time. When you broke up with me though it hurt so bad. I thought about what would happen if I divorced Kate and it didn't even hurt to think about. You leaving me though, I was dying inside. I knew then that you were it for me."
"What about Megan?"
"Joint custody. Megan already loves you. She's always talking about how fun Rose's friend is, about the stories you two make up while lying in Rose's backyard."
Megan was a sweet little girl; it wasn't hard to love her too.
"Please Bella; I will gladly beg you this time. I've been standing in your driveway for the past hour trying to figure out what I should say to you to convince you that you are the only woman I want to be with. Please, Bella will you take me back?"
I really thought about it. Would he be able to be faithful to me? Is once a cheater always a cheater? Would I get my heart broken and would it be worth it if I did? Edward took my silence as a no and nodded his head and turned around on his heels and back toward his car. Seeing him walk away made my heart lurch. I knew at that second that even if he did hurt me, yes it would be worth the risk.
"Edward wait!" He stopped in my yard immediately.
I flew out the door and into his arms, immediately being pelted with rain. I was soaked within seconds. The hug was tight and warm; his arms easily circled my waist. He felt so familiar yet new at the same time.
"Can I come in Bella?"
"No" I shook my head.
"No?" he repeated.
"You can take me on a date though. Tomorrow night?"
He chuckled, "Okay, tomorrow say seven?"
He unwrapped his arms from around me and gave me a crooked grin than turned on his heels and walked toward his car. At the last second he turned around and looked at me.
"Bella? Next time you ask me to stay, I will. I'll stay for as long as you want me to."
One thing I learned about Edward was that he was right. He had always told me the truth, even from the very beginning. Eventually five weeks after our first date I did ask him to stay, and he did what he promised. He stayed all night and every night after that.