A/N Hello, I very rarely do this, because I'm not a fan of Authors Notes, but I felt like I needed it this time around.

So obviously I don't own any of these characters, they belong to CBS or whoever.

This story is a little spoof, comedy, thing that I was inspired to write cause a friend and I were joking around. I don't know if I will write more, I'd like some imput on it, it may just remain this one chapter. So please review if you enjoy it. Give me a little inspirations to continue or ideas. Thanks for reading!

Chapter One: You have got to be kidding me.

The sun had not begun to rise over the beautiful Hawaiian horizon when Danny's cell began ringing off the hook. He tried to ignore it and it stopped, but it started again only moments later and continued in that fashion until he answered it. Why, he wondered, did it always have to happen this way and why did McGarrett always sound so happy to wake him up. Rolling out of bed, he hadn't really payed attention to what his partner had said when he pulled on sweat pants and a t-shirt and walked out of his apartment into the pitch blackness of the still sleepy islands.

The streets were dead, no cars were out, at least some people weren't as crazy as Steve McGarrett, Danny thought to himself as he hit green lights all the way back to the precinct. It had been a late night, filled with paperwork and complications. The Five-Os had spent the day wrapping up a case, the least interesting part once all the real police work was done. There were reports to be completed, files to be shipped off and questions to be answered before their case could go to trial. Danny had spent all day at his desk, pouring over what he hoped was going to be an easy wrap up, but which proved to be a bigger pain in the ass then the actual case. He hadn't left until midnight, had missed out on talking to his daughter before she went to bed and still had to eat something once he had gotten home. He hit the sack at 01:00 hours and Steve had called him back into the office before a true REM-cycle could come over him. His hair was a mess, his eyes were half closed and his anger was peaking as he saw McGarrett through the open blinds of his office. He looked far too content, even pleased with himself, as Danny entered the commanders sanctum and fell into one of the leather chairs before him.

"What the hell do you want?" Danny asked eyeing his partner with contempt.

"I think I should wait till Chin and Kono get here to fill everyone in at once." Steve stated as he waved what looked to be a very old and rusty sword before his partners face.

"You should have waited till morning you ass!" Danny stated.

"It is morning; it's exactly 03:00 hours." McGarrett stated.

"Oh my dear Lord," Danny sighed.

"Hey boss, what's so important?" Kono asked, looking chipper and excited, as she walked into the office.

"He's waiting to give the whole team a pep talk." Danny stated angrily. "If he doesn't tell me soon, or send me home to bed, I may shoot him."

"Do you even have your weapon?" McGarrett asked.

Danny pulled it from his holster and waved it before Steve.

"Take that away from him. He's not alert enough to operate it." Steve directed his comment at Kono.

"I'm not alert enough to drive, but I'm here aren't I?" Danny stated hiding his weapon again.

"Take his keys too." McGarrett stated.

"That's your job!" Kono laughed.

"Very funny," Danny added. "It's my Camaro. Mine, I'll be driving it!"

"Sorry I'm late, what's the break down?" Chin asked as he too joined the crew and took his place in the other leather chair before Steve's desk.

"Late? You think you're late? We're all freakishly early!" Danny yelled still slumped over in the chair.

"What is wrong with him?" Chin whispered to his cousin.

"He's missing out on his beauty sleep," Steve chimed in bring attention to Danny's disheveled appearance.

"Cut the crap and tell us what is so important so that I can go back to bed." Danny stated too tired to take offence.

"We have a new case!" Steve smiled waving his sword around once again.

"Are we taking out pirates?" Danny asked.

"Yes, actually we are." Steve smiled.

"You have got to be kidding me." Danny stated as he stood and turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" Steve asked calling him back.

"Home to bed, you can play Captain Jack Sparrow without me." Danny stated.

"But I told the governor that we would make this Five-O number one priority." Steve stated.

"What is going on?" Danny asked leaning on the doorframe. "You have two minutes to peak my interest, any more than that, and my interest will be to go back to bed. If you can't I bid you adieu till 09:00 when my shift actually starts!"

"We'll the Black Pearl has been stolen from the harbor." Steve stated, "That's all."

"As in the Black Pearl from the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. The set slash steam ship that was rigged up to look like an 18th century tall ship?" Kono asked.

"The boat they are using for the filming of the new Pirates film?" Chin asked.

"That's the one." McGarrett smiled.

"Oh my God, you have to be kidding." Danny sighed unimpressed. "Please tell me you are kidding."

"Would I kid you about this?" McGarrett asked. "Our security has been stretched to the limit with cast and crew on the islands for filming. You know this is a big deal for the economy and now its star is missing."

"Johnny Depp was taken too?" Kono gasped, shock and horror in her voice.

"No… the boat is the star isn't it?" McGarrett asked.

"Well, I wouldn't say star, but a very iconic part of the whole franchise." Kono stated backpedaling a little.

"Goodnight." Danny stated and walked away from his team, shaking his head and cursing under his breath.

"Come back!" Steve yelled, practically ordered.

"This can wait till morning." Danny stated flipping Steve the bird and leaving the office all together.

Kono and Chin watched as Williams walked out and turned back to their commanding officer. McGarrett looked dejected but serious. He hadn't been lying. The Black Pearl had really gone missing this time, and it wasn't Barbossa's fault.