This is my first fan fiction with these characters. Please let me know whether or not you liked it.
As always, I own nothing. I just took them out of the box, tossed them around a bit, and returned them back to Shonda Rimes, none the worse for the wear.
"Something Is Definitely Better Than Nothing"
"While you were over in Africa being happy, I slept with Mark." Callie paused letting the knowledge sink in, "How about now?" she finished her eyes boring into Arizona's searching. Arizona stood there too dumbfounded to speak. She doubled over grasping her stomach as her breath left her in a rush as if she had been hit in the stomach with a baseball bat. She stared unblinking back at Callie in shock. Neither woman noticed the doors to the elevator open and subsequently close again. It was only when the doors opened again that Arizona shook her head snapping out of her stupor. She turned away from Callie to walk out the door.
"Mmm, yeah," Callie spat, "There's the Arizona I know so well." Arizona stopped in the middle of the elevator doors her back to Callie, she raised her left hand to the doors so it wouldn't shut on her,
"I completely understand why you would think that of me Callie," she said quietly, "But I am not bailing. I need some time to wrap my head around this and process it all before I say things I know I will regret. I hope you can understand," she said as an after thought letting go of the door as she stepped out of the elevator.
Arizona wandered aimlessly around Seattle for hours before unexpectedly finding herself in front of their old apartment door mentally giving herself a pep talk. She raised her fist in the air to rap on the door but froze midway.
"I can do this," she said pumping herself up, "What's the worst she can do? Tell me to go back to Malawi, how selfish and untrustworthy I am, tell me how she is certain I'm gonna hurt her again, tell me she slept with Mark Sloan again. Been there, done that. I. Will. Do. This." She wiped her clammy hands down the front of her jeans, took a deep, steadying breath, and knocked on the door of their old apartment quickly before she could change her mind. Callie opened the door with one hand, and had the other hand on her hip as if she knew who it was knocking at her door. She cocked her head to one side, lips pursed, eyebrows arched in a question.
"Hey, Callie," Arizona started apprehensively, "You're not gonna shut the door on me again, are you?"
"Nah," Callie said stepping aside to let Arizona in, "No point in worrying about that. If things get too tough for you, you'll just leave again. How many times has it been? Two, three, hell I lost count after the elevator," Callie quipped acerbically.
Arizona walked into the apartment, surveying the scene before her. She immediately noticed the couch with its rumpled sheets and pillow as if someone had been sleeping on the couch.
"That's interesting, why isn't she sleeping in our old room?" she thought to herself before turning to face Callie.
"You're right," she conceded, "I totally deserve that. I do and a whole lot more."
"Why did you come here Arizona? Callie questioned, "Cause it damn sure wasn't to be my personal whipping girl," she added.
"Would that work?" Arizona posited nervously shuffling her feet.
"Arizona," Callie breathed out her name in one exasperated breath.
Arizona lowered her head down, and raised both of her hands up in mock surrender. "Okay, Okay," she responded in a conciliatory tone. She slowly raised her eyes to meet Callie's. "I came here," she said encouraged by the look of curiosity in Callie's eyes and by the fact that she didn't look away, "Because I wanted to talk. To you. Without the running away on my part, and without the hatred on your part."
Callie crossed her arms across her chest, and sighed heavily before responding.
"Is that what you think, Arizona, that I hate you?" she asked incredulously.
"Well what else am I supposed to think after you shut the door in my face, after you tell me to go back to Africa, after you tell me you haven't come back to me, after you yelled at me to get my crap out of your apartment, twice if I remember correctly..."
"Oh Arizona," Callie raised her voice to interrupt the rambled tangent, "I am angry, at you, but mostly I am angry at myself"
"Wait, what?" Arizona questioned cocking her head to the side to make sure she was hearing things right, "Why are you angry with yourself?"
Callie met Arizona's confused look and softened, "I am angry because I can't. I just can not find it in me to hate you. It would make things a lot easier for myself if I could." Arizona took a step closer to Callie leaving approximately a foot's distance between them.
"Then why, why would you," she stammered out before the trembling in her voice made it too difficult to speak. Callie attempted to bridge the emotional distance between herself and Arizona by reaching out and taking Arizona's hand in her own.
"Why would I sleep with Mark?" she finished for Arizona. Callie studied Arizona's body language intently trying to buy herself time to come up with a suitable explanation for herself as well as for Arizona as to why she had sex with Mark. Arizona, normally steadfast in times of chaos, stood before her shoulders slumped, breath coming in shallow, unable to maintain eye contact. In a word, she looked defeated. When she finally managed to pull her eyes up to meet Callie's own, Callie saw silent tears spilling out of her pools of blue. Callie gasped sharply at the sight. It was then that Callie realized everything that Arizona failed to say, and it simply made her heart ache.
"No, Arizona," Callie whispered, "No I didn't sleep with Mark just to hurt you."
"B-b-b-but Mark?" Arizona stammered. Callie pulled Arizona over to the bar nudging her to take a seat. She sat in the other chair facing Arizona.
"I know how you feel... about Mark," Callie began hesitantly, "And that is not why I did it,"
"Then help me understand," Arizona pleaded, "Please."
Callie shifted in her seat uncomfortably, inhaling sharply and began her explanation.
"You were my dream come true Arizona, my happily ever after, the missing piece of my heart, my future, my world. It's a lot to put on a person. I realize that now, in retrospect, but it is the truth." Callie paused looking around the room to get her bearings.
"The next thing I know, I'm standing in a nuclear wasteland of what used to be my life without so much as a clue as to how I even got there," she says eyes wide, tone perplexed.
"You want to talk about hurt," she continued, "I know hurt well. Am even on a first name basis with it. I've experienced it, and survived it...But this, nothing could have prepared me for these feelings. What I felt was so foreign and beyond anything I'd ever felt before."
"And I am so sorry for that," Arizona interjected..
"No," Callie shook her head, "I'm not blaming you anymore, I am simply trying to explain. Bare with me?" she asked. Arizona nodded her head slightly indicating for Callie to continue.
"After you left," she began again, "I was like a ghost caught between the land of living, and my memories of you. Sure, I went to work, did my job, did it well even but at the end of the day memories of you were all that waited for me. It about drove me insane. Everyone tried to help even Teddy but it was useless," she smiled sadly.
"Mark coerced me into going out one night," she chuckled inwardly at the memory of her best friend threatening to get the extremely nosy, and perky psychologist Sydney involved if she didn't come out to Joe's with him, "He even convinced me to go talk to this cute red head that couldn't keep her eyes off of me."
"That would fit into your usual break up pattern," Arizona interjected.
"Right," Callie conceded, "So I went to talk to her. Turns out she was more interested in where I got my hair styled, not me."
"Good," Arizona mumbled under her breath, "One less person I need to throw a brick at."
"It would have been another major mistake chalked solely up to me," Callie mumbled to herself mostly.
"Oops," she said sheepishly, "I got off topic." she apologized once she realized Arizona was looking at her expectantly.
"You were everywhere. Everywhere. And the pain of not having you was all over the damn place. It just got to be too much to handle especially after getting shot down at Joe's. Do you know what I mean?" she questioned Arizona searching desperately for an ounce of understanding.
"I do," Arizona admitted, "I understand more than you think. It is why I came back"
"Okay, so you get that part," Callie said hopefully, "Maybe you will get this part too. After the bar, we came home. Mark went to bed and I sat up on the couch thinking of ways to exorcise you from my mind, from my heart, from my skin even. My mind went back to my 'pattern' as you referred to it earlier," Callie rambled on.
"I realized if there were any sort of chance no matter how tiny of forgetting you, it needed to not be a stranger but someone who cared about me, would do anything for me, loved me even, and..." Callie paused.
"And Mark fits that bill," Arizona finished solemnly.
"With all his faults, and there are so many, he does care about me, he does love me," Callie stated trying to convince Arizona of her logic.
"And you love him, too," Arizona said lamely.
"I do love him, Arizona. I'm not going to deny it or try to justify it to you anymore. He is my best friend. He's seen my light and my dark yet he's always been there for me." Arizona quickly looked away from Callie so she wouldn't see the jealousy and old insecurities she still harbored about Mark flare up again.
"Arizona," Callie whispered softly, "Look at me,"she said with more force behind her words
"I had no idea that I would ever see you again ever. So, I figured you would never find out about Mark," Callie reasoned, "And I'm not a vindictive person by nature," she continued, "No matter how much I hurt," her voice breaking, tears spilling out of her eyes, down her cheeks before sliding off of her quivering chin.
"I am in love with you, Arizona," Calliope stated with a quiet vehemence. She grasped Arizona's hands tightly between her own and squeezed gently to get Arizona's undivided attention. She held Arizona's gaze for a few moments before finishing her story.
"And I would never do something purposely to hurt you. How could you not know that by now Arizona?" Arizona nodded her head almost imperceptibly offering Callie a sliver of hope in the small smile that graced her lips.
"I do know that," she said removing one hand from Callie's to point to her head, "Up here but my heart, my heart yeah that's another story."
"Tell me what your heart says Arizona," Callie questioned.
"My heart hates that he got to touch you," she said emphatically startling the other woman with how much venom her words were laced with.
"It's funny," she said, irony in her voice, "I went to Mark to forget your touch, how you make me feel. And now, now I'd give just about anything to remember you...your touch, how you make me feel."
"Me, too Calliope," Arizona whispered huskily, "Me too."
"Then help me remember Arizona," Callie whispered hoarsely standing up so that she was in between Arizona's legs. She took both of Arizona's hands and placed them on her hips holding them there in her own grasp.
"Touch me," she desperately demanded, "Please." Arizona kept her hands in place as she slid off the bar stool. Arizona pushed Callie slightly back so that she could slide off her bar stool. She searched Callie's face carefully for signs of hesitation, or distrust, or uncertainty. In the end it didn't matter what she may or may not have seen in the other woman's eyes. She could not turn Callie's heart felt plea down. Grasping her by the wrist, Arizona led them across the living room to their old bedroom. Arizona maneuvered Callie around so that Callie's back was to the bed. She raised her shaking hand tentatively to cup Callie's cheek. She rubbed her thumb over Callie's trembling bottom lip.
"Where did he touch you Callie, here?" she demanded rubbing her thumb back and forth over her lip. Callie nodded her head not trusting her voice enough to respond verbally. Arizona brought her other hand up to cup Callie's other cheek in her hand. Arizona closed the distance between her mouth and Callie's with painstaking deliberateness leaving no doubt in Callie's mind that she was about to be kissed. Arizona met Callie's lips with a light and leisurely kiss. She took her time getting reacquainted with Callie's mouth wanting to erase any trace that Mark may have left behind and marveling in the other woman's silky, soft lips. Callie whimpered at the contact. Wanting more, Callie brought her arms up to Arizona's shoulders pulling her tightly against her body. Arizona could feel Callie's tight breasts and pert nipples against her own. Encouraged by the responsiveness of the other woman, Arizona ventured further wanting to deepen their kiss. She slid her tongue sensually against Callie's, seeking permission. She was rewarded when Callie opened her mouth to meet Arizona's awaiting tongue. Arizona gasped at the spark ignited when her tongue slid against Callie's. She pulled back in awe, resting her head against Callie's cheek.
"Did he kiss you like that, Calliope?" she asked her voice dripping with sensuality.
"God, No Arizona," Callie swore desperately.
"That's good," Arizona replied, "Did he touch you here?" she asked sliding her hands underneath Callie's shirt, moving up along side her ribs to cup her full breasts through her bra causing Callie to arch her back pressing her breasts more firmly into Arizona's awaiting hands. Callie's eyes closed at the contact and she bit her lip to keep from gasping out loud. Arizona squeezed and kneaded both of Callie's breasts simultaneously causing her nipples to peak stiffly. She tweaked one of Callie's nipples roughly to get her attention.
"I asked you a question, Calliope," Arizona reprimanded, "I need you to answer."
"Umm, I am trying but it is a little hard to concentrate when you are doing that to me," Callie responded astonished.
"Well, try harder," Arizona finished her sentence with a light pinch to Callie's other nipple.
"Yessss," Callie hissed in appreciation to Arizona's ministrations, "He touched me there." Arizona extricated her hands from underneath Callie's shirt to grasp the hem, pulling it up roughly over Callie's head so that she could get to the other woman's skin. She was over come with an inexplicable desire to see Callie's skin, to devour her with her sight. She hastily reached around unfastening the clasp of Callie's bra tossing the bra to the ground below. She feasted her eyes on Callie's bared breasts. Pausing a moment in her visual exploration to note that Callie's breasts seemed fuller, and more round than before. She thought her eyes might be playing tricks on her as well because she could almost swear that Callie's normally creamy mocha brown nipples had darkened a shade or two. Her thoughts were diverted from her pondering when she realized her mouth was watering in anticipation. She unbuttoned Callie's jeans pulling them along with her underwear down to her knees. She roughly pushed Callie down to the bed so that she was in a sitting position. She knelt on the ground to remove the rest of Callie's clothes. She hastily pulled her shirt over her head, flinging her bra across the room. She quickly discarded her pants in a frenzy as well to have skin to skin contact with the other woman. Callie scooted up on the bed so that she was able to lay on her back. Arizona looked at Callie, drinking in the sight of Callie naked before her like a man dying of thirst finding an oasis in the middle of a barren desert. She joined Callie on the bed. She laid on her left side, using her right hand to trace a sensual path up Callie's stomach, up her sensitive side to caress the underside of Callie's left breast. She saw the effects of her touch as tiny goosebumps were left in its wake.
"Calliope," Arizona whispered hotly against her ear sucking the sensitive lobe in her mouth giving it a swirl before she continued, "Did he ever tell you how fucking incredible you look when you get aroused, how irresistibly sexy you are to watch when you are being touched?" she asked cupping Callie's breast in her hand squeezing it softly. "Don't even get me started on how fucking good you taste," she went on to lavish the side of Callie's neck with her tongue carving a blazing path of white heat down Callie's neck to her chest. When she reached her destination, she circled Callie's bud with her tongue before fully encasing it in her warm mouth.
"Mmm," she moaned, "So fucking good," she said around Callie's nipple. Not wanting to neglect, she turned her attention on Callie's other nipple bathing it with the same sultry attention. Arizona's hand snaked its way down to the apex of Callie's legs feeling the heat radiate against her palm as she cupped Callie intimately. Callie ground herself against Arizona's palm in a wanton attempt to get the other woman where she so desperately wanted her.
"Baby you are so wet," Arizona commented, "Did he touch you here?" she asked Callie sliding her fingers through Callie's slick folds pausing at the entrance waiting.
"Yes, he did " Callie admitted, "But please Arizona, I need you to touch me there," she said making sure to emphasize the word you. Arizona raised her head to meet Callie's lips kissing her roughly plunging her tongue into Callie's mouth the same time pushing two fingers into Callie. Callie met Arizona's fingers with a hard thrust of her hips pushing against the fingers inside of her. Arizona matched the pace set by Callie's hips. She knew Callie's body so well, and could sense how close the other woman was. Arizona, reluctant for things to end so quickly, slowly ceased the movement of her hand, instead choosing to blaze a trail by sucking, nipping, kissing her way down to Callie's center.
"I'm gonna make you forget all about the 'Sloan Method," she said breathing against Callie's liquid heat.
"Oh god, please make me forget," Callie panted raising herself up by leaning back on her elbows so she could watch what Arizona was about to do. Arizona removed her sodden fingers and replaced them with her tongue. She tongue fucked Callie for what seemed like an eternity savoring the taste of her lover. Callie squirmed wildly against Arizona's mouth. Arizona withdrew her tongue lapping up one side of Callie's silky fold, down the other deliberately ignoring the pulsating bundle of nerves that would deliver Callie to nirvana. Callie was desperate for release. She grabbed a handful of blonde hair in her fist, giving it a tug. Arizona smiled against Callie before moving her mouth over to Callie's tender nub. She flicked her tongue over it lightly before enclosing the engorged bud fully into her mouth alternating between circular swipes of her tongue and sucking lightly. Callie rocked her hips against Arizona's mouth achieving more contact and friction against her clit. Arizona could feel Callie's impending orgasm as the other woman trembled underneath her. She maintained the pace with her tongue and gently added two fingers adding to Callie's pleasure. Callie trembling uncontrollably felt the stirrings of her orgasm as millions of tiny shivers gathered in her legs traveling upwards. When her orgasm reached its final destination, Callie slammed herself back into the bed arching her back releasing her orgasm into Arizona's eager mouth crying out loudly. After a few moments, Callie released the fistful of hair, and Arizona removed her mouth off of Callie. She rose up from Callie, her fingers still inside the other woman to kiss Callie. Callie moaned at the taste of herself on Arizona's lips opening her mouth to greedily suck Arizona's tongue into her own. Arizona, slowly began moving her fingers inside of Callie. Callie tore her mouth away from Arizona's.
"Oh God," she exclaimed, "What are you doing?"
"I'm making you come again," Arizona said heatedly against Callie's mouth picking up her pace making it fast and hard. Callie was uncertain whether or not she could have another orgasm after the prolonged period of teasing and the intensity of the first orgasm. Before Callie she could even finish the thought, she was writhing and twisting against Arizona as the tremors of another powerful orgasm quaked through her body. Callie clung to Arizona like a life raft as the pleasure ran its course. Arizona was overcome with emotion, and tried to convey her feelings to the other woman by placing soft, butterfly kisses all over Callie's beautiful face. After removing her fingers from Callie, she rested her cheek against Callie's chest using her freed hand to stroke the smooth skin from Callie's hip upwards. While she was caressing the other woman, Arizona listened intently, her ear pressed to Callie's breast, to the thundering heart beat slowly returning to its normal pace. She raised her head up to meet Callie's eyes. Callie's' eyes were glossed over with lingering arousal but that was slowly dissipating as well. Arizona knew that part of the rift between the two of them was because she never fully allowed Callie to completely see her for who she was. Of course she let Callie see at the lightness that made her who she was but she refrained from letting her see the darkness that resided in her as well. Things like hurt, and vulnerability. She hid these things behind a mask of perkiness or stoicism. Especially vulnerability. She never waned to make that leap with anyone before now.
"Calliope," Arizona began with a tremor in her voice, "Did he ever touch you here?" She bent her head down to Callie's' breast bone and placed a gently if not reverent kiss where underneath Callie's heart began to race again with the implication of the question Arizona was asking. She looked at Arizona and what she saw was awe inspiring. Arizona completely stripped down and unmasked for the first time. She saw all the love, loyalty, devotion and hope that made Arizona a lot of who she is but she also saw the insecurities, vulnerability, and fears that got hidden behind rainbow scrub caps and heely shoes. She saw all Arizona had to offer. She held it in her hands, and it was beautiful. She was beautiful. She took Arizona's hand and placed it over her heart.
"No one, not even Mark has ever touched my heart the way that you do." Arizona could feel the sincerity behind the words as the steady pounding beneath her palm beat harder and beat faster. She closed her eyes for a moment to allow Callie's love and reassurance wash over her, baptizing her anew. Emboldened by this new level of intimacy reached between the two of them, she opened her eyes to find Callie staring intently at her waiting to see what her next move would be.
"Calliope," Arizona spoke softly, almost shyly, "I want, no I need to remember you as well," trusting that Callie would take care of her in this moment of expressed vulnerability. Callie reached out to grasp Arizona's shoulders and rolled them over so that she was on top of her. She gazed at Arizona for a moment intent memorizing everything about the woman beneath her. Eyes wide open looking into Arizona's eyes dark blue with desire, she slowly moved her mouth down to meet Arizona's and even then she stopped a hairbreadth's stop away from her destination. Arizona smiled at Callie's teasing raising her head up to meet Callie's luscious lips in a soft, sweet, sensual kiss. There was no hurry behind the kiss. Just another languid, and thorough acquaintance. Each woman took turns giving and receiving. Asking and allowing. No one pressing the other for dominance. Callie reluctantly broke the kiss to make her way across Arizona's jaw. She nipped and suckled along her neck up to swath Arizona's earlobe with her hot tongue. Arizona moaned and arched her back in response. This spurred Callie to explore down Arizona's neck to her breasts. Callie rubbed her cheek against each one of Arizona's breasts before directing her attention on Arizona's nipples. She circled one pink
nipple with her tongue and then the other. She lavished attention on each breast and nipple respectively. Arizona let out of hiss of appreciation when she felt Callie nip and tug at her sensitive peak with her teeth. Each nip and tug sent a bolt of white hot electricity directly to the core of her being. Callie began blazing a lightening hot path of kisses down to Arizona's stomach. Arizona realized Callie's intention and grabbed her shoulders halting her descent. Callie looked up at Arizona for an explanation.
"Stay up her with me, Calliope," she asked in a voice spiced with desire. Callie raised herself back up so that she was leaning all her weight on her forearms and elbows. Her body was pressed tightly against Arizona's feeling the wet heat against her own and she set her hips at a slow sensual pace against Arizona.
"Is this what you need, baby?" Callie asked softly in Arizona's ear. Arizona wrapped her legs around Callie's, grabbing Callie's backside in her hands.
"Mmm hmm," she moaned using her hands on Callie's ass to increase the tempo of Callie's grinding against her.
"Oh my god, Arizona, I can so feel you against me," Callie said in a deep desire laden voice.
"Won't take long," Arizona panted through clenched teeth increasing the pace again as she got closer and closer to the point of no return. Callie matched Arizona's thrusts with her own trying to keep up. She could feel herself on the precipice of another orgasm but didn't want to give in before Arizona.
"So close, Callie," she moaned, "You feel so fucking good I'm gonna come."
"Oh god, baby." Callie answered.
"Kiss me," Arizona commanded, "I want you to kiss me while I come." Callie's mouth slammed down against Arizona's both women kissing with wild abandon. Arizona cried out thrusting herself against Callie one final time as her orgasm flooded her body. Callie on the brink herself, thrust a few more times before another powerful orgasm surged through her again causing her to bite down into Arizona's shoulder to keep from screaming out loud. Both women stilled their movements against each other as mini quakes twitched through their cooling bodies. Callie rolled her hot, sweaty body off Arizona's. Both women lay on their backs in a state of semi shock trying to catch their breath.
"Wow," Arizona exclaimed.
"Wow," Callie agreed. Both woman lay prone for awhile but eventually reality crept back in like a cat quietly stalking its prey. Arizona could feel the wheels of Callie's brain spinning wildly. It was a second later that she felt Callie shift so that she was laying on her right side, her head propped up in her hand looking at Arizona. Arizona didn't want to look, she didn't want Callie to open up her mouth to analyze what happened between them.
"Arizona," Callie started off hesitantly, "We need to talk...there is something else I need to tell you." she finished. Arizona rolled to her side as well to face Callie.
"I know. There is a lot we need to talk about, " Arizona agreed, "B-b-but do you think it could wait until the morning? I just want to be able to remember this night, what we shared without it being marred or ruined by a discussion that is bound to bring up more hurt...Do you think we could do that?" Callie rolled onto her back pulling Arizona with her so that she was cradled in her arms. She placed a kiss on the top of the blond's head before responding, "Yeah, I think that can be managed." She closed her eyes reveling because she had the woman she loved back in her arms again. Their future was nebulous and uncertain at best. However, each woman had come to the same conclusion on their own: Tonight they were certainly where they were meant to be, if only for the night.
Callie slept more soundly than she had in month. She slowly opened her eyes waiting for them to adjust to the incoming light. Stretching languidly, she reached out to the other side of the bed expecting to find Arizona still very much asleep. Instead she was met with the cold reality of an empty bed. She sat up brusquely intent on finding where the other woman was. As soon as Callie's feet touched the cold wooden floor, she was pummeled with an overwhelming rush of nausea causing her to make a mad dash to the bathroom. After nearly breaking her neck tripping over various items of discarded clothing, she made it to the toilet just in time to lift the seat up to violently spill out what was left of the contents of her stomach. Callie lost all sense of time as tsunami's of nausea crippled her body. She was in the middle of a particularly nasty stretch of retching when she felt relief in the form of a cool, damp cloth being pressed to the back of her clammy neck. Callie looked over to see Arizona kneeling beside her and was mortified to have been caught in such a compromising situation.
"You know," Arizona said kneeling at the sink to run the rag under the cool water, "This won't last forever," she said wiping the sweat off Callie's forehead, face, and neck.
"This?" Callie croaked hoarsely.
"Morning sickness," she replied knowingly. Callie quickly diverted her attention away from Arizona's penetrating gaze shocked out of embarrassment but more out of fear of what Arizona would do now that her dreaded secret was flushed out into the open or more appropriately, flushed down the toilet. Arizona rose from her kneeling position exiting the bathroom without a word or a backward glance at Callie. Callie's eyes widened and her mouth dropped in shock.
"How many times will that have to happen before it doesn't hurt me anymore?" she wondered incredulously.
"I knew it," Callie said aloud to herself, "I KNEW it," she said even louder
"Knew what?" Arizona said pushing the door of the bathroom with one hand while holding a change of clothes in the other hand.
"Hmm, what?" Callie said evasively, "Don't know what you're talking about..."
"I just left to get you some clothes," Arizona said tersely, "Unless you prefer sitting on the cold floor completely naked," she asked holding the clothes out towards the naked woman. Callie reached up to take the clothes being offered to her but was assaulted by another way of incapacitating nausea.
"Ugh," she groaned placing her arms around her middle attempting to quell the nausea.
"Here," Arizona said kneeling next to Callie on the floor, "Let me help?" Callie swallowed the huge lump of pride that lodged itself in her throat choking her of speech. She nodded mutely her assent. Arizona delicately slide an old worn t-shirt over Callie's head, pulling it down over her shoulders so Callie could put her arms into the shirt finishing by pulling it down over her abdomen.
"Can you stand?" she asked gently. Callie took a deep breath to staunch the nausea using the toilet seat as leverage to brace herself into a standing position.
"Put your hands on my shoulders," Arizona instructed as she held Callie's panties out for her to step into. Once on, she quickly slid a pair of boxers over them. She stood up to survey her work. Satisfied that Callie was presentable, she turned to the sink snatching Callie's toothbrush, she squeezed a generous glob of toothpaste onto it. She looked at Callie's reflection in the mirror as she did so. Meeting the other woman's eyes, Arizona was reminded of how an animal looks when it is cornered and frightened.
"Take some time to get yourself together," Arizona spoke deliberately attempting to ease Callie's concerns, "And when you're done, I will be waiting in the kitchen. Then we will talk." She turned from the sink to hand Callie her toothbrush. Instead of grabbing the item being offered, Callie grabbed Arizona's wrist.
"You'll be there," Callie asked more harshly than intended.
"Yes, Calliope, I will be there," Arizona assured.
While Callie was in the bath getting herself presentable, Arizona used her nervous energy busying herself in the kitchen. She filled up the tea kettle with water placing it on the stove to boil. Opening up the dishwasher to get a mug, she noticed they were clean so she set about unloading it. After putting all the dishes away, the shrill of the kettle sounded indicating the water was boiling. She turned off the stove removing the kettle pouring the steaming water into the mug. Callie finally came out of the bathroom to discover Arizona rummaging through some bags from the closest drug store.
"Oh good," Arizona said just a little too brightly upon noticing Callie's emergence from the bathroom, "You're out."
"Uh, what are you doing?" Callie asked suspiciously.
"Wellll, I woke this morning and couldn't go back to sleep, so I got dressed, came out here to get a drink but there was nothing in the fridge except old, nasty milk," she rambled, "So I got went to the store to get some things," she said holding up the two bags full of stuff. Callie eyed the bag warily as Arizona pulled random items out of the bag.
"I got Q-tips, chap stick, andddd ooh here it is," she shouted excitedly holding up the box of tea high above her head in the air.
"Tea," Callie questioned arching her eyebrows.
"Not just any tea, Calliope," Arizona smiled sweetly walking over to the cup on the counter, removing a bag, placing it into the hot water. She slid the mug, sugar, and a clean spoon across the counter towards Callie.
"It's chamomile, which as you know, is good for nausea," she commented in her best mom like voice, "Oh and I got you some vitamins, not prenatal 'cause a lot of people can't tolerate them so I got you some Flintstones which are just as good," she went off on a tangent again.
"Arizona," Callie said too softly for the other woman to hear, "Arizona," she said more loudly this time. Arizona looked up at Callie pausing her diatribe to take note of the look of utter wonder and gratitude at the other woman's complete thoughtfulness.
"H-h-how," she choked out. Arizona walked around the counter to the side that Callie stood on, sitting down on the same bar stool she occupied the night before. Arizona thought about the myriad of things that went put together, equaled in Callie being pregnant. Things like being easily annoyed, or the extremes of emotions, or perhaps it was the uncharacteristic spitefulness she encountered whenever she tried to communicate with the other woman.
"How did I know?" she clarified for the other woman. Callie nodded her head wiping her tear stained cheeks with the back of her hand.
"In retrospect, there were several things," Arizona began, "But one definite thing or two rather really sealed it in my head that you were pregnant."
"Two?" Callie inquired.
"Yeah, two," Arizona replied sheepishly gesturing with her hand towards Callie's breasts.
"My boobs," Callie grinned in disbelief, "What's wrong with my boobs?"
"Nothing, nothing at all," Arizona assuaged, "They're wonderful. Just a little bit bigger than before," she told Callie. Callie held her shirt open at the neck to examine her breasts. As Callie was occupied with her inspection, Arizona commented further, "Oh and your nipples and surrounding areas may be a little bit darker too." Callie looked up at Arizona and said, "I can't believer you could tell I am going to have a baby by looking at my boobs," causing Arizona's cheeks to pink slightly.
"Yeah well, what can I say Calliope," Arizona chuckled with chagrin shrugging her shoulders, "I've always been a boob girl." Callie smirk and Arizona's chagrin gave way to heart felt laughter. As quick as the laughter began, it left the two women in an awkward silence neither wanted to broach.
"What are we going to do," Callie asked feeling a sense of deja vue sweep over her as she asked the same question that in the past had resulted in the pair breaking up.
"Wellll," Arizona drawled out stalling for time,"I told you I am not going to run away again, and I meant it."
"I hear a but," Callie responded waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"I'm not running away again, Calliope. I'm not,"she emphasized, "But I can't see myself running into this either." Callie looked away quickly gluing her eyes to a crack in the ceramic tile on the kitchen floor dreading the words that were going to come out of Arizona's mouth next.
"Sooo what I'd like to do, if it is alright with you," she paused, "What I'd like to do is move in to Cristina's old room."
"And what," Callie snapped angrily, "We'll be...like roommates?" Arizona purposely chose to ignore Callie's rant chalking it up to hormones.
"Well," Arizona told her levelly, "All I know is moving in with you even if it is as your roommate, for now, is something. And something is better than nothing," she finished the last part of her sentence as an unspoken plea. Callie was struck with an epiphany causing her head and neck to snap back as if she were actually slapped in the face. Arizona was willing to bend for her, and she had a very important decision to make. She could hold onto all of her demons. Some of them had been in her company long before Arizona like fear of abandonment, and insecurity. She could hold onto them, or, she could go all in and trust that no matter what, the love they felt for each other would be a guiding light leading both women back where they needed to be. In the end, it wasn't such a hard decision at all. Callie, choosing actions over words, walked silently over to the pile of boxes that Arizona lugged in earlier. Picking up a box, she looked at Arizona expectantly, "These boxes aren't going to move themselves," she chided good naturedly. Arizona's deep blue eyes met Callie's warm brown eyes. Mirrored gazes held love, compromise, and hope. All together, that was something. And after all, something is definitely better than nothing.