I was in a solemn mood, I was in a Rossi/Emily mood and I had just rewatched Demonology so woolah this is my creation I hope that you all enjoy it. Reviews welcome
"It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell".
Emily didn't know how long she'd been walking. All she knew was that she felt the cold a bone chilling cold that penetrated every part of her body. She'd rather feel the numbing cold then the pain of her heart. Her past had been laid out on the table in front of the one man she'd do anything to protect from it. She didn't know if he'd be able to look at her the same or if he'd ever want her again. Her life was a mess all because some priest had thought it was necessary to murder her first true friend and if she was honest with her self he'd been her only true friend until she'd come to the BAU until she'd met him.
She didn't understand what had made him love her enough to go against Hotch she snorted not just Hotch he'd gone against the bureau but why that was the question nagging at her very core. Why had he risked everything for her. She couldn't fathom it no one had done anything like this for her since Matthew. Not even her own parents would have the balls David Rossi did not even her own parents would defend her at risk of there careers. Yet he had. That one simple fact boggled her mind.
She knew in the logical part of her mind that he loved her at least she hoped he did. They'd been together for six months but she couldn't truly comprehend that he loved her enough to put his career on the line.
Emily sighed looking down at the picture that held the remnants of one of the few times in her childhood that she'd been happy. It also was the last time Matthew had held to his faith, before he'd fallen into drugs, before John had abandoned her, before she'd destroyed her last chance at being a mother.
Sitting on the park bench she wondered how had her life come to this, how had it come to the fact that she'd rather run than face the demons that would be waiting for her when she got home. All of her compartmentalizing skills had failed. She knew that if she went home she'd be alone. She'd told Dave to go home, to Little Creek, that she'd be fine on her own that everything would be fine. She needed to deal with her past on her own. She couldn't no she wouldn't impose anymore of her grief on him he deserved better than that. He deserved better than her.
Leaning her head back, she thought about the happier times. Rationally she knew that every thing would be ok that she'd have coped with what had happened that she'd have come to peace but it may not be tomorrow morning or the morning after that. She knew it would come but she didn't want to pick up the shattered pieces of her heart up on her own. She was so tired of doing it on her own. A single tear started to slide down her face but before it could finish its path, a finger wiped it off her face.
Startled Emily slowly opened her eyes to meet the dark concerned eyes of David Rossi. Slowly he pulled her up and held her. She was too numb to react, to comprehend that he was here in the cold Washington D.C. weather holding her, rubbing her arms in an effort to make them warm. She felt a shiver run through her and knew that he'd felt it too because he was gently guiding her to his truck. As he helped her in Emily turned briefly she wanted to say something but her voice wasn't working, instead he placed a soft kiss on her lips before shutting the door.
The entire drive to her apartment was a comfortable silence as he held her hand, every so often bringing it to his lips causing warmth to flow through her. Emily noticed the concerned glances, but was still too numb to know how to ease the worry that flittered across her lovers face. It was funny even now with the pain she felt she wanted to help him. Ease his pain maybe that would help ease hers.
Emily felt his hand around her waist guiding her into her apartment. She was confused she didn't remember leaving the car or going up the elevator. That attested to the trust and love she had for this man. She prayed he still loved her after today.
Once they had entered her apartment, he had guided her to her room. She sat on her bed as he pulled out a pair of his sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt. Emily once again became lost in her thoughts wondering if her shattered heart would ever heal or if she was destined to be used and tossed to the side like a piece of trash.
Emily was brought out of her thoughts as she felt Ross lay her down on the bed, she hadn't even realized he'd changed her, she'd never let herself trust anyone that much. Emily felt her resolve start to fold as he lowered the lights leaving on only a small lamp, laying next to her in bed he gently pulled her to him and began rubbing her back.
As he soft tender words began to wash over her the emotions she'd tried to lock up overloaded her and she felt the tears falling down her face, slowly the tears turned into sobs and it wasn't long before she was clinging to him heart wrenching sobs escaping.
She didn't know how much time had passed but all the while Dave held her whispering his love for her in her hears. It wasn't until her sobs had begun to quiet down that she felt the courage to ask the question that had been burning in her soul.
"Why." She asked hoping, praying for an answer that made sense that would start the mending of her shattered soul.
Dave looked into her eyes with a piercing stare that seemed to read her soul it seemed to read all of her fears and doubts that knew exactly what she was asking. "Because I love you." He deep baritone voice washed over her. "Because you needed me and I wanted to be there. Because it kills me to see you in this pain and I want nothing more than to take it from you."
Emily felt tears begin to build in her eyes again "Why, no one else has ever…no one since Matthew." She choked out. "Not even my parents." She say the flash of anger in his eyes that was instantly replaced by a tender look of love. He began to rub her arms again.
"Because they don't know the true meaning of Love, they don't know what an amazing wonderful strong woman you." Emily watched his eyes fill with tears "they don't know what they've lost. I love you Emily. I knew you were worth something the moment I met you." She watched him run a hand through his hair a sign of his frustration but she knew it wasn't directed at her but rather at those who had been given the gift of her love and had thrown it away as trash. "I knew that I if you ever gave me the gift of your love that it would be the most precious gift I'd ever receive. I thank God daily for your love for the gift you gave me. I promise to never abuse the gift you've given me Emily. It's to precious for that."
She looked into his eyes with awe, she slowly felt her heart begin to heal. "I love you Dave." She briefly pressed her lips to his before laying her head on his chest. "I feel so broken, I don't know how to put myself back together." She whispered the only sign that he had hear her was the way his arms tightened around her. "I don't know if I can do it by myself anymore, I'm so tired, I'm tired of fighting the demons and nightmares." She felt the past few days begin to catch up with her, her energy waning.
She felt him softly kiss her head pulling the comforter around them and flipping off the lamp "Then sleep babe, I have you. I won't let you do this on your own. I'm here to pick up the pieces I'll always be here. You're not alone anymore. I'll make sure we get through this you don't have to face them alone anymore I'm here to face them with you." Gently he pulled her more securely against him running a hand over her hair.
Hearing his words Emily felt another piece of her heart begin to mend, slowly she closed her eyes maybe she wouldn't be able to put the pieces of her heart together by herself but the man sleeping next to her was more than willing to take that burden upon himself. Slowly she drifted of to sleep as she felt the peace of not being alone. Her heart may still be broken, there would still be demons to fight but with the man holding her, she knew that she'd be alright.
"And you learn that love, true love, Always has joys and sorrow, Seems ever present, Yet is never quite the same, Becoming more than love and less than love, So difficult to define. And you learn that through it all, You really can endure, That you really are strong, That you do have value."
We'll Let me know if you liked it. I had fun writing a more serious piece…but that's me Reviews are loved and wanted!