My first story! Yay! It's probably really horrible and I just can't see it. It's really weird as well. But whatever it's not the first weird story on here.

Disclaimer- I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. I do own Jonathan though, my OC.

Warnings-memtions of past mPreg, lemon, hermaphrodite!Edward, and gynecologist crap. xD


Edward lie alone in bed, waiting. It was at least one o'clock in the morning, and yet he still couldn't sleep. Ah, well. He thought, it was Saturday tomorrow so he only had to get up to give Roy a hug and kiss goodbye in the morning.

Speaking of Roy, why the hell did Hawkeye always have to make him work so damn hard? Edward knew that with being Fuhrer and all he had a lot of work, and Roy was lazy, but Goddammit he had a family! Edward huffed in the lonely big bed and closed his eyes.

Moonlight shown through the shades and an owl lulled Edward to sleep with it's song of night.

Edward was jostled from sleep when he felt the bed shift with weight. He heard a baritone sigh and opened his eyes to see Roy's porcelain back facing him.

He slipped closer to Roy, wrapping his mismatched arms around Roy's stomach. His flesh hand gently rubbing Roy's chest. Edward kissed Roy's shoulder and heard a hum of approval emit from Roy.

Roy turned over and lightly kissed Edward's lips in return. "I missed you," he muttered softly.

Edward smiled tenderly and looked up at Roy's eye in the darkness. "Missed you too," he responded happily. Roy wrapped his arms around Edward and growled possessively. Edward chuckled lightly and reached over towards the night table to grab a tub of petroleum jelly.

Roy couldn't have gotten there night clothes off sooner and he slabbed a handful of the jelly like substance onto his length. Roy smashed his lips onto Edward's in a passionate kiss and he lifted Edward's legs and slid into his entrance. Edward broke the kiss to turn his head to the side and pant.

Edward looked to the side and watched Roy's blissful face. Eye closed, mouth open, his breath coming in short puffs. Roy slowly reopened his eye, he stared into Edward's molten golden orbs and began slowly rocking them back and forth. Edward made happy little whimpers with each thrust.

Being as quiet as they could be not to wake up their son, Maes, as they made love.

Not being able to contain himself anymore, Edward broke out in a whispered chant of, "Oh baby, oh baby, don't stop, oh baby, oh baby, don't stop."

Roy moaned quietly and buried his face in the nape of Edward's neck and began sucking at the skin.

Edward moaned and gripped Roy's hair. Roy began thrusting faster and harder hitting Edward's sweet spot every time. Edward released Roy's hair and grabbed the head board and biting his lip, trying not to scream.

Roy moaned and Edward's body vibrated from his deep voice. Edward felt Roy expand inside of him, he suddenly only saw Roy and white.

Edward released himself and white ribbons came out of his length and covered Roy's and his stomach. Roy released his sticky white essence inside of Edward, as Edward tightened around his girth.

Edward lightly clawed down Roy's back as Roy collapsed on top of him.

"I love you..." Roy panted out. His arms wrapped so tight around Edward.

Edward smiled and kissed the scar on what was Roy's eye. "I love you too, my love."



The sound of a pen scratching at paper.


A groan, and the phone being ripped from the reciever.

"Fuhrer Mustang's office, Fuhrer Mustang speaking."

"Sir, we need you to get over here stat." Havoc's voice stated shakily.

"Why? Where?" Mustang asked aggravated.

"Your home has been broken into. We're not sure if-" Havoc was cut off as Mustang dropped the phone and bolted out the door.

He couldn't have gotten there quick enough. Roy slammed the car door shut and pushed the military officers out of his way, he ran into his home as quickly as possible. He looked around his house and saw a table knocked over, dishes smashed, but those were all replaceable, his family wasn't.

Roy spotted Maes sitting on a chair in the kitchen with a blanket around him, Havoc and Hawkeye sitting next to him. Roy ran over to Maes and pulled him into a death grip. Maes wrapped his arms around his father sobbing. Roy kissed his son's head multiple times.

"Da-dad..." Maes sobbed out. Roy smoothed out Maes' hair, kissing his cheeks.

"Shhh...shhhh...I'm here. No more tears." Roy hushed soothingly.

Hawkeye tapped Roy's shoulder. Roy looked at her and she jerked her head to the side, showing that they needed to talk.

Roy kissed his son one last time before letting him go.

"I have to go talk with Auntie Riza now, alright?" Roy said ruffling Maes' hair.

Maes rubbed his eyes and nodded.

Roy and Riza walked into a separate room.

"Where's Edward?" Roy stated blankly.

Riza sighed, and looked at Roy with eyes filled with despair.

"We don't know," she began. Roy groaned and wiped his forehead. "From what Maes has told us he's been kidnapped. We found this note on the night stand next to your bed. It looks like he had planned to

take Edward quietly, but if he knew Edward personally he would've known that Edward is not one to go quietly. Or peacefully for that matter."

Roy sat down on his bed and gripped at his hair lightly. Riza sat down next to him and put a hand of reassurance on his shoulder. "Is there anyway of knowing who did this?" Roy asked, holding back tears.

"Read the note and maybe we'll get some ideas." Riza said, handing Roy the folded note. He unfolded and began to read.


I bet you thought you'd never hear from me again huh? Well, it's payback time, and sadly for you your husband has to pay for your mistakes. Lucky for me and you though, your husband is woman enough for me to be entertained. So you have about two weeks before I kill him. If you do make it in time though you can pay for your sins properly. You wouldn't want your husband to be in too much pain, now would you? Well, if I were you I'd start looking. Until then the former Fullmetal Alchemist and I are going to have some fun. I can't wait to taste his blood. Until then.



Roy didn't even notice his tears until Hawkeye wiped them away. He quietly thanked her and in his new found rage, crumpled up the note and got up leaving it on the bedside.

"I want Gen. Armstrong's team and my team on this and I want answers NOW!" Roy ordered to Hawkeye. Hawkeye got up and ran out of the room yelling for officers to start looking for answers.

Mustang stormed out of the room. He didn't know who did this, but whoever it was he had obviously put into prison and they wanted revenge. Whoever is was, was also going to burn.


"Wakey wakey, my new pet," a irritating voice sounded in Edward's ears. Edward groaned but didn't open his eyes. Man, how hard did Roy do him last night anyway? His whole body was sore and throbbing.

"I said wake up!" The voice said again before the owner of the voice slapped him across the face.

Edward's eyes shot open and gazed upon his captor.

"Finally, I thought that I might've given you too much chloroform! Now, where to start..." his captor began.

Edward suddenly recognized the man. Didn't Roy put him in jail a couple months ago? What for? Didn't he...? Edward's heart began pounding as he remembered. This was Jonathan Aeron, the Fertility Alchemist. He was put into prison three months ago for experimenting on pregnant women and trying to transplant wombs into young men. He was also a medical intern at the time of Maes' birth, and was in the room when Edward gave birth.

"What do you want with me?" Edward rasped out. Jonathan laughed manically. Edward pulled on his restraints. Metal, shit, he couldn't chew through them. His automail was missing. He was naked, and his legs were spread apart on a gynecologist's exam chair. Whatever he wanted it had to do with his female body parts.

"What do I want with you? Well, I don't really want anything with you. It's the bastard Fuhrer that I want dead, but if he doesn't show up in time I guess you'll be dead too. But you can help me with my experiments until the time comes." Jonathan said happily, moving inbetween Edward's legs and looking around at Edward's genitals.

Jonathan put on latex gloves and began poking at Edward's vagina.

"Why is your anal cavity loose if you have a perfectly good vagina right here, hmm?" He chuckled at Edward.

"Because I'm not a damn woman!" Edward yelled, thrashing about. Jonathan slapped Edward's thigh to make him stop. Edward yelped out.

"But you are partly woman. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You should be thankful, you already have a womb so I don't have to put one in. If you didn't then you might die, most of my patients do," Jonathan said happily as he got a pair of clamps and inserted them into Edward's vagina, opening him and probing around inside. "Hmm, it seems that there is no uterus here...where would it be?" Jonathan spoke to himself.

Edward gasped at the cold metal inside him, he had never felt anything in there before, besides Maes when he gave birth to him. He stared at the ceiling and thought that the Gate really must hate him.

Suddenly the clamps were removed and inserted into his anus. Edward growled at the insane doctor.

"Ah ha! I found it! Now, why would your uterus be connected to your anal cavity?" Jonathan started talking to himself again. "Well, this so called Gate must've had some fun with you. It says in your file that the Gate put this all here. Ooo found some of the Fuhrer's semen in here too, you two have fun last night? You're lucky, if he hadn't gotten that vasectomy you'd be in big trouble." Jonathan laughed.

Edward continued growling, and suddenly spoke up. "How the hell do you know all this shit about us?"

Jonathan just continued laughing, "I stole both of your medical history files!" He cackled.

"We are going to have so much fun!" Jonathan said maniacally.


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