Disclaimer : I don't own the guy's or any other familiar characters in this story. Also I don't own Play School (thank god !). But I do own the story ^_^
Many thanks to all of you out there for reading and for the very kind reviews. I'm so pleased to know that you are all getting a laugh from this. This is the final chapter in 'Saiyajin School', but the second fic in the Pre-Schooler arc will be posted in the next couple of days - I hope you also enjoy reading that one and that it puts a smile on your face.
Vegeta and Goku have tidied up the studio and once more *normality * has returned.
Goku: "Well, boys and girls it's time for our story."
Vegeta: "And I'm telling the story so I had better go and get ready."
Vegeta smirks at the camera then moves off screen.
Goku: "While Vegeta is getting ready to read the story what do we do boys and girls?"
Goku looks questioningly at the camera.
Goku: "Here's a hint... "
Goku: "No, it's not a bomb like silly Vegeta thought, It's the clock. That's right boys and girls, before we read the story we have to look at the clock."
Vegeta: "Says who?"
Goku: "'Cause that's how it's done."
Goku: (getting irritated) "Just for once shut up and take my word for it, okay?"
Vegeta: (shrugs shoulders) "Fine, if you want to go through life without questioning the unquestionable then that's fine with me."
Goku glares at Vegeta, Vegeta moves away.
Camera swings across to the clock which is tic, tocking quite happily, completely oblivious to all that is going on around it.
Goku: "So what time is it on the rocket clock today?"
Camera moves in for a close up of the clock face.
Goku: "Let's see now, the big hand is pointing straight up to the 12 so that means it's something o'clock."
A muffled groan from Vegeta can be heard in the background.
Goku: "And the little hand is pointing to the 7 so that must mean it's 7 o'clock."
Vegeta: (in background) "Give the man a lollypop!"
Goku: "So boys and girls, it's 7 o'clock on the rocket clock in Saiya-jin school."
Vegeta: (looks at the ceiling) "Einstein you have nothing to worry about..."
Goku: "Let's see what's behind the clock, shall we?"
Vegeta: (sarcastically) "Oh what a good idea."
Music springs up as the clock turns around to reveal a tin of beans, a cow, a little boy, a cat and a mean looking black colored jelly baby.
Goku: "Hmmm, so what have we here then? It all looks quite interesting. I wonder what the story is going to be about?"
Camera cuts across to where Vegeta is reclining comfortably in a lounge type chair with a big book in his hands.
Vegeta: "Today's story is called "Jack and the Beanstalk," girls and boys."
Vegeta holds the book up so that the camera can see it, then opening up the book he begins to read...
Vegeta: "Once upon a time there was this brat called Jack who lived with a whining, complaining woman. All Jack wanted to do was train hard and become the strongest warrior in the universe so he could beat the crap out of anyone that dared to cross him. But the woman kept nagging at him to get a proper job so they could eat and pay the bills.
One day when Jack was busy training the woman came out and told him to take the cow to the market and sell it for whatever he could get so they could buy some food. Jack took the cow, grumbling about his wasted training time and set off for the market."
"On the way to the market he was jumped by the notorious bandits known as "Yamcha's Yokels". It was a fierce battle and somehow Jack managed to survive, but by the time the smoke had cleared the cow had bolted and Jack found himself all alone in the road. Then something to his left glinted in the sunlight. Jack strolled over and bending down, picked up a couple of beans. He looked at them and then slipped them into his pocket and turned for home. 'No point in chasing after the cow,' he thought, it had probably hooked up with the dish and the spoon by now. Needless to say when he got home the woman wasn't very happy to hear he had got into a fight and gave him a full on lecture."
Goku: "Are you sure you are reading that from the book?"
Vegeta: "Errr... well mostly."
Goku: "It's just that it doesn't sound quite the same as what I remember."
Vegeta: "Well, I may have changed the odd bit and piece."
Goku: "Do you mind sticking to the original plot as much as possible?"
Vegeta: "Humph.. You're no fun at all. Look, you said I could read the story so butt out and let me do it... "(whispers) *My way*
Goku: "Ummm... Okay. But try to keep as close to the plot as possible."
Vegeta: "Aww alright then, but no promises."
Vegeta continues the story...
"As Jack lay awake, his body aching from the numerous cuts, bruises and damage he had got in the fight, he thought he may as well eat the beans. So he reached into his pocket and pulled one out and crunched it up. It tasted okay and then as the bean hit his empty stomach it felt as though liquid fire went through his body and instantly he was healed. Now Jack - not normally your sharpest tool in the shed - had a very rare brainwave. He thought if he planted the other bean then he could grow his own bean tree and harvest the resulting beans for himself."
"Then he could either sell the beans and make an incredibly wicked profit and be rich beyond his wildest dreams, or keep them all for himself and it wouldn't matter how hurt or sick he got they would restore his health immediately."
Vegeta: "Alright... I will stick to the story..."
"So he planted the bean and went to bed. The next day there was this huge beanstalk outside his window, so being the fearless chap he was, Jack climbed up the beanstalk to see what lay beyond. About half way up he came to a tower. He looked around but couldn't see anyone about. 'I wonder who's place this is?' He thought to himself. Just then he passed a doorway that had a sign above it that read "Korins Tower" 'Must be Korins place.' he thought. With that, a fat white cat came out and looking Jack up and down asked who he was. 'I'm Jack. Who are you?' "Korin" was the reply. Off to one side Jack could see a guy dragging what looked to be a reluctant cow into the back of the building. He scratched his head and turned back to Korin who was now playing a fiddle. Jack shook his head... a nightmare, that's what this was, a nightmare."
"Suddenly, Jack lunged at the cat and pinning him to the ground asked where the beanstalk went to and what did he know about the magic beans? The cat being a real wimp "spilled the beans" (A.N. love Vegeta's attempts at humor... don't you?) and told Jack everything he knew about the 'sensu' beans. He also told him that the beanstalk continued up to another tower where a really important person lived. Jack let go of the cat and once more resumed his upward climb."
Goku: (cough) "Just where did you get that book from?"
Vegeta: "From the bookshelf... why?"
Goku: "Oh, no particular reason..."
Vegeta: (looks innocent) "All I do is read the thing."
Goku: "Well seeing as how we have come this far you may as well finish reading it."
Vegeta: (smirks) "Why, thank you, oh kind co-host."
Goku: "No need to be sarcastic."
Vegeta: "Three cheers for Kakarott, he actually managed to recognize sarcasm."
Goku: "Do you think you could get back to the story now?"
Vegeta: (sighs) "Oh, I suppose so."
Vegeta continues with his *narration*
"After much climbing, Jack felt the air getting thinner along with the beanstalk and at last he reached yet another funny shaped platform thing stuck in the middle of nowhere. Putting it down to altitude sickness, he jumped off the beanstalk and looked around. The tiles were highly polished and the palms well cared for. Jack heard a noise up ahead and so went to investigate. He sneaked a peek around the side of a column and spied a wrinkly green thing talking to a round, fat black guy; at their feet were 7 golden globes."
"Wow these guys must be good if they have won 7 golden globe awards,' thought Jack, and then he realized they weren't awards. He listened as the black guy spoke, something about the globes being Dragonballs and summoning a dragon to grant a wish. Jack knew then that he had to have those Dragonballs at any cost. They would be the answer to all his problems. He hid and waited until the two guys had left the area, then he snuck in and gathered the balls up, stuffing them in his jacket, in pockets, in fact anywhere they would fit so he could carry them. Then he headed back to the beanstalk. He was nearly there when the cow betrayed him by suddenly jumping over the moon and scaring the daylights out of him causing one of the Dragonballs to slide down his trouser leg and hit the floor with a thump. This alerted the 2 beings to his presence and the usual "run around chasing each other" thing occurred. At last Jack manages to shimmy down the beanstalk and when he finally gets to the bottom, gives a huge karate chop and severed the stalk from its base. This in turn caused the black dude and wrinkles to wish they had done more flying practice before they were buried several kilometers into the earth and covered with rock, rubble and rotting vegetation."
"The woman came out of the house to see what the commotion was and let fly with a tirade of abuse. Jack meanwhile summoned the dragon, wished for, and was granted, immortality. The dragon also took pity on Jack, deciding after 5 minutes that it couldn't stand the woman's voice anymore and allowed Jack a second wish. This insured that the woman was sent to join wrinkles and black boy in their journey to the center of the earth. Jack, meanwhile, continued to train hard, get stronger and with the immortality became the strongest fighter in the universe.
Vegeta shuts the book and sits back looking smug.
Goku: "I still say there's something wrong with that story."
Vegeta: "I don't see what. The good guys still win and the bad guys get theirs."
Goku: "I realize that, but it still has a funny twist in there somewhere."
Vegeta: "Don't let it bother you, Kakarott."
Goku: (scratches head) "Oh well, I suppose not.
Vegeta: Why is that guy over there making funny gestures?"
Goku: "He's telling us it's time to wind up."
Vegeta: "Wind up? I'm not a toy you know."
Goku: "Not that sort. He means it's time to bring the show to a close."
Vegeta: "Oh, okay then. Huh? What was that?"
Vegeta has seen something out of the corner of his eye.
Vegeta: "Over there, oh look, it's the missing mouse... come 'ere, Mickey... "
Vegeta takes off after Mickey sending the studio 'props' flying and blowing small holes in things as he tries to catch Mickey.
Goku: "Well, girls and boys, we have had a lot of fun on Saiya-jin School today, haven't we?"
* Whoosh *
Vegeta flies past in the background.
Goku: "But all good things must come to an end, so it's time for us to say goodbye."
* Squeak *
Mickey is perched upon Jemima's head. Vegeta is taking aim. Goku turns and sees what's about to happen.
Goku: (hastily) "So till next time, bye bye boys and girls, be good."
Goku waves then desperately flings himself across the studio set to try to stop Vegeta.
* Zap * * Squeak *
Mickey: "Squeak !"
Vegeta: "Blast ! Missed. Come back you rodent."
Goku: *sob* "Jemima... oh no, Jemima. I know you didn't have the best looking face but at least it was a face..."
Goku picks up Jemima's 'body' that now has a neat hole where the face used to be...
*Music springs up*
Camera slowly pulls backwards from the scene of Goku with Jemima in his hands and Vegeta chasing Mickey... school house picture appears and the door shuts... shot fades into blackness...
And that was the last episode in the current series of Saiya-jin School. Next week we have a whole new drama series coming to the screen so stay tuned for excerpts of next weeks show...
~ FIN ~
And thus ends another of my weird fics... Hope you all enjoyed it. Trust me I have a ball writing these things. Now all I have to do is get myself removed from the preschoolers 'hit list'.
Please R and R with your thoughts...Cheers...