Authors note: Hello again...I'm posting a little bit early because well my dear friends Cullen312 twisted my arm with threats *wink* and MasenCullen asked so sweetly. So here it is- the prologue for the new story...there are some bumpy roads ahead, but also some very sweet and humorous moments as well. I hope you all enjoy it.
I have no words to tell express how much I appreciate the work Jessica1971 has done on this fic, truly she's much more than a beta and she has earned her worth over the last several months helping bring this puppy to fruition. Thank you is not enough but it's all I got.
The songs for this chapter are here: http:/www(.)youtube(.)com/watch?v=kdvbD3vyMdA and http:/www(.) youtube(.)com/watch?v=gO3xQvz6gdQ *I know you all know this but you have to remove the ( ) to go to those links. *
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, that's the sole property of Stephanie Meyer. I'm just playing with the characters. No copyright infringement is intended.
Someone Like You
Talking in circles. That's what we had been doing for days. Going over the same points of contention, having the same discussion over and over; it always ended exactly the same - with my father holding my mother while she cried. This time had been no different.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes; taking a deep breath, I blew it out slowly before answering.
"Mother, of course I love you both very much." I looked over my mother's shoulder into my father's eyes. He smiled sympathetically as he placed a hand on her shoulder in comfort.
I wasn't taking my decision lightly, but I just couldn't do it any longer. I couldn't live in the home I had shared with Heidi any longer. It just hurt too much, and with the trial finally over there was no reason to. There was nothing keeping me in Chicago besides the knowledge that I would be breaking my mother's heart if I left.
My father and I had similar views on my decision. He didn't want me to move any more than my mother, but he understood my reasoning. My father had always supported me in most everything I ever did and this decision had been no different; his only advice to me was to do what I felt was necessary. He assured me that if it meant I needed to make this move to regain some perspective, to get back to me, that he was behind me one hundred percent.
I felt I was making the right decision by moving to Denver and leaving everything I had worked for behind. Honestly, all I knew for sure was that I couldn't stay in Chicago and I didn't want to be a cop, not any longer.
"You have to understand what it's been like since..." I trailed off, unable to complete the thought and squeezing my eyes closed tightly against the burning. It didn't matter how much time passed, the very memory of the betrayal caused an anger to fill my very soul on levels I never knew existed. Even the thought of my ex-wife and what had occurred over the last two years completely wrecked me. And if that wasn't enough, a sorrow had begun to seep in around the edges of all the anger. The psychologist side of my brain recognized the emotion as grief. The other part of my brain, which was still unbelievably pissed off over the circumstances that destroyed my life, would not allow the mere thought that I could possibly be grieving the loss of my marriage in addition to everything that had ever meant anything to me at all. I knew if I allowed that emotion to find purchase, it would literally crush me under its weight to a point I wasn't sure it was possible to recover.
"Edward, darling, I know it's been incredibly difficult for you since…." she trailed off, still uncomfortable in referring to the circumstances which led us to where we found ourselves in that moment. Clearing her throat softly, she continued, "… after the last few months especially, but do you have to move so far away?" she asked, placing a tender hand on my face.
"Yes, Mother, I think I really do… I just… I need a change. I need to get away from all of this," I said, looking into her eyes and pleading for her to understand. "I'm going to be closer to little Adeline this way since Rose and Em are there… I just… I can't be here anymore," I gestured around the room.
Nothing had been changed since my world fell in around my ears and I couldn't take it another minute. I had loved everything in the house, once, but now I felt as though I was suffocating from all the memories. They hid in every nook and cranny of the home Heidi and I had built together, just lying in wait to jump out at me, crushing my heart as they reminded me it had all been lies.
I couldn't live like that any longer; it was killing me, slowly but surely.
I turned to look into my mother's face, hoping to see anything instead of the distress it held with every conversation since I first told them about my decision.
"Elizabeth, dear, he's a grown man. We can't expect that he won't leave home at some point," my father said, winking at me as he tightened his hand on my mother's shoulder and stroked her hair with his free hand.
"Psh… Ed," my mother scoffed, looking up at my father and tapping his hand lightly. "The boy hasn't lived under the same roof with us since the day he left for college, but I like having him so close," she said, dabbing slightly at her eyes with the handkerchief she carried. "Denver is so far away…"
"Mom, please," I begged. "Please… try to understand."
She looked into my eyes for a long moment before sighing heavily, a small smile creasing her lovely face.
"I do, my darling boy, I truly do understand," she said, framing my face with her small hands. "And you're absolutely right, you need to do this. You know, maybe the mountain air will do you some good."
She pressed a kiss to my forehead and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug.
"Thank you," I said through the tightening of my throat.
A few months later…..
Opening night was only a week away and I could not seem to get a feel for the movement. The performance was the culminating activity for the semester. It was completely frustrating that I was having so much difficulty getting the routine down; I just couldn't concentrate, not with the events of the past year.
Finally realizing I was only making mistake after mistake and obviously needed to stop for the night, I picked up my bottle of water and stomped across the glistening hardwood to shut down the music. Using the towel to wipe the sweat from the back of my neck, I took a long draw from the bottle before pulling a sweatshirt over my head and shrugging into my jacket. I grabbed my duffel bag, throwing it over my shoulder and making my way out of the studio.
I couldn't explain why, but a sense of apprehension settled over me as I stepped out into the night air. The early spring night was a lot cooler than I expected and I pulled the hood of my jacket up over my head, shoving my hands inside my pockets, shivering slightly as I skipped down the steps.
I waved to a girl from one of my classes as I reached the bottom and turned to walk in the direction of my apartment. I didn't live far from campus and I loved to walk through Lincoln Center. I wasn't sure why, but I couldn't shake the overwhelming feeling that I should have flagged down a cab instead of making the four block trek on foot.
Looking over my shoulder, I couldn't quite figure out why I felt so uneasy and I shook my head at my overactive imagination. Finally losing myself in thought, I mentally went over the flow of the music and the placement of my body during the solo portion of the final performance.
I wasn't in the least bit looking forward to any of the finals coming up in the next few weeks. The best I could hope for in most of my classes was to skim by with a C. Normally I freaked over getting a B in any class, but after the past year, I would honestly be ecstatic if I passed - period.
The reminder of yet another way he had adversely affected my life had me grinding my teeth.
Why couldn't he just accept that we were finished and that I wasn't interested in rekindling anything with him? Ever.
I groaned in frustration at how my thoughts had drifted yet again to the drama that had taken over my life. I stopped suddenly, turning as I could have sworn I heard someone call my name.
That's when I saw him standing not twenty feet from me. Instantly, I was furious.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, closing the distance between us. Had I been thinking clearly, I would have realized what a stupid move that actually was. The mere memory of what happened the last time we were in contact with one another should have been enough to send me running in the opposite direction as quickly as possible, regardless of the number of people on the street. Unfortunately, at that moment, I was so angry over his total disregard for what should have been obvious when he received the notification of the restraining order I had filed against him that I wasn't thinking- at all.
I was so tired of dealing with him and his delusions that I couldn't see past the anger at the mere sight of him. I stomped over to the man who had consumed my entire life for so much longer than he ever should have been allowed.
He stood just out of the beam of light from the streetlamp so I couldn't fully make out his features.
"Bella, baby –" he said as I came within a few feet of him, but I cut him off before he could finish.
"No! Don't you 'baby' me! God, Demetri, why are you doing this? I've told you repeatedly that we're finished. Done. Finito. How many different ways do I need to say it for you to finally get it through that thick skull of yours? We've been over for a long time, Demetri. I'm done, just leave me alone."
"I can't let you go, Bella," he whispered. There was something in his voice that caused my heart to seize in my chest and my throat to constrict. I saw a flash from the corner of my eye as the light caught the object he held in his right hand when he quickly moved in my direction. "I won't ever let you go."
"Demetri," I gasped, but didn't have time to react further as a white hot pain shot through my body and the world began to close in around me.
So? My plan is to stick to a posting schedule for this story...for the first 5 chapters I will post twice a week then go to one a week postings. Thank you all for reading. I'll be posting Chapter 1 on Saturday.
Until next time...
P.S. FYI, I am a contributing author for the FoxyFics (Parkinson's Disease Fundraiser) as well as the FGB Autism fundraiser. So if you would like to see a couple of missing moments from Need You Now make sure to visit those blogs and donate, there's still time.