A/N: Just as a warning this is something my friends and I came up with for school. The assignment was to take a given scene from R&J and modernize it... We kind of went crazy with it. My main job was "translating" the Shakespearian text into how we speak since I was the only one in my group who'd ever read Shakespeare by their own free will. As I said though, we went a bit nuts with it... It's written as a script since we were supposed to present it. The scene is the one where Mercutio and Tybalt are killed
Benvolio: Let's bounce, Mercutio, before we meet the Capulet's. I don't wanna fight.
Mercutio: LOL, banana split. You dig the brawls, brah.
B: Oh really? That's what you think.
M: You're like: "Oh look! A person! Let's fight!"
B: You are too. Thou art PMSing.
M: No, thou art PMSing.
B: Takes one to know one, bitch!
Enter Tybalt and creepy blokes
B: OMG! Tis the Capulets!
M: OMG! I don't care.
Tybalt: *to blokes* I'll BRB.
Petruchio: 'Kay Tybles!
T: *gives P a dirty look**to B and M* How YOU doinnnn?
M: What's it to ya?
T: Just being friendly. A word?
B: An ACRONYM!
M: *to B* No Benvolio, no. *to T* Speak.
T: You've been costing Romeo 50 cents extra for going over his text limit.
M: I don't text! Not since I got Twitter!
T: Twitter is Facebook for old people.
M: Oh no you didn't! *pulls out light saber*
B: Girls, you're both pretty. Let's go home.
M: NO! First... We CATFIGHT!
Enter a skipping Romeo
T: Here come MY maaannnn~!
M: He's not your friend. Check Facebook!
T: *to M* You are a baaad cookie.
B: Can I be chocolate chip?
T: NO, you idiot.
Romeo: Can I be a cookie?
M: Chill amigas.
T: You're just jealous because you're not a cookie. *pulls out cookie*
M: I'll fight you for that.
T: AVADA KADAVRA! *thrusts cookie towards M*
R: PROTECTO THE COOKIE! *points wand at cookie*
M: Neither can live while the other is hungry!
R: Benvolio! Do something!
B: *pulls out feather* En gardie!
P: Stop fighting! I'll take that cookie *takes cookie* and EAT IT! *bites cookie dramatically*
T: GASP! This is all your fault! *points at M* I will have my revenge! *tickles M to death*
P: Come on, Tybles!
*T and P run for it*
B: THE BUTLER DID IT! IN THE COURTYARD! WITH THE ...candlestick...?
*R runs after T and tackles him*
R: *points wand at T* AVADA YOUDIENOW!
*T dies dramatically*
R: *hears sirens* ...BYE! *runs for the hills*