Helloooooooo, readers! ShadowMajin here and I'm back in black and ready to rumble. As I've mentioned at the end of Onslaught, I'm back at my roots with a nice little comedy for y'all. The story should do its name proud, if I may say so myself. And now, before I let you go enjoy yourselves, the disclaimer.
Disclaimer: Don't own DBZ or its affliates.
Nice, quick, and painless, relatively speaking. Now, enjoy!
The room was dimly lit, the surest way to ruin one's eyesight when reading. A large wooden desk sat in the middle of the room, the source of the dim lighting coming from a small lamp at its corner. Papers and folders covered the desk's surface, cluttering up anything and everything that was there before it. Behind the desk was a plush leather chair, very much filled with an exhausted school principal. A large man he was, dress in one of many matching suits he kept at home. After all, there wasn't a student alive that would respect him if he didn't wear such garments.
At the moment, he had removed his suit jacket and tie and had tossed them somewhere in the room. The top two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, stopping the collar from trying to suffocate him as he leaned back in his chair. One of his beefy hands was running through his messy hair, trying to soothe his growing frustration. After all, it was tough being a man with little responsibility.
Currently, he had a problem—a very big problem. The teacher's union was on the verge of a bloody murder conspiracy and he just happened to be the potential murder victim. Somehow, someway, the students of his school had done their best to drive every teacher crazy, succeeding in sending a few of the teachers to psych wards. He was at a loss as to how that happened—never mind that some students were already in such facilities previously—but right now he had a computer filled with emails and death threats that wanted him to do something about it or pay the consequences.
And right now, the Principal was sure he didn't want his appendix ripped out his southern exit, despite the fact he was pretty sure it was physically impossible. He just didn't want to be the first person to find out if it was.
Why did this have to happen to him? He was just a simple principal with overbearing standards. It wasn't his fault that teachers were wimps. Why, in his day, they would just put the students in the corner and that would shut them up. Damn those parents who viewed that as cruel and unusual punishment!
But if he wanted to keep his job and life, mere blackmail was not going to work this time. He had to do something productive, a foreign concept if he knew of any. His faculty needed time to recover from their traumatic school year and it was up to him to come up with something.
But what could he do? It wasn't like he could bring in a fair and send the students to destroy it. Fingling Brothers Fair hadn't been the same since their last visit. Plus that would be rewarding the student body's behavior and rewarding wasn't in any academic vocabulary that he knew of. Using the students to take over the world (of course!) wasn't an option either since they had the Great Hercule Satan living within the city limits, though just barely at the district line. It had taken some bribes and sudden disappearances of various officials but damn it, his school district was going to have the World Champ and his property taxes in his district!
So that made World Domination a no-no. So what did that leave? Darn it, he hadn't been taught these things at Principal School!
Ugh, what he really needed now was a drink. Scotch, rum, a strawberry daiquiri, anything would do. Perhaps he needed a vacation, or even a trip to somewhere much less stressful than his current predica—
Wait, not a trip. A field trip!
That's right, he could organize and send those little miscreants on a field trip to some unknown location and perhaps never hear from them again. It was fool proof! Not even that foolish teacher in Room 1A could screw it up!
But where could he send them? Usually when a field trip was done, it had some sort of academic use or reason for them. It wasn't like he could send them to the middle of nowhere and abandon them so they would have to learn how to survive. Only lame twits would do something like that.
No, he had to do something much more creative—something too huge to comprehend in a couple chapters of a story. It had to take up an entire book to be figured out!
Grabbing one of the pieces of paper on his desk—taking note that it was another death threat to his manhood—and flipping it onto its blank backside, the principal began writing and drawing his plans for the Orange Star Student Body. Oh yes, this was going to be a trip they would never forget!
It was ten in the morning and there was still no sign of the school buses. Hadn't the permission slips said that the students would be on the buses and well on their way to the sudden and surprising field trip that had been concocted just a few days ago?
Gohan could feel himself nodding off…again. It had been imperative that he arrive on the school campus by eight in the morning and yet, he and his fellow classmates were still at the school, just waiting for their big yellow rides to arrive. Why was it when ever one of their sports teams needed a bus, the bus would be half an hour early but for any other reason they were hours behind? Gohan was considered to be one of the brightest minds in the entire school and he still hadn't figured out why that was.
And if he had it his way, he would've just slept another couple hours before heading over.
His classmates looked as if they felt the same way. Though you had your morning people all perky and ready to start the day, they had become just as bored and annoyed as the rest of the not-morning people around them. Misery loved company and all. Many teens had taken up falling asleep on the school lawn as they awaited the buses and it seemed as if they were the smarter people around. In fact, if this waiting kept going, Gohan was certain he would be joining them.
Turning his head, the demi-saiyan saw Sharpner and Erasa, two of his school mates that he had regular interaction with. Both were just talking with each other, not caring that they had pretty much been stood up by a bus driver. The way they looked at it, they were in school being bored to death by underachieving teachers. Since they were currently out of the dreary classroom and out in the somewhat clean air, they were content to just wait the rest of the school day out until they could go home. At least that was the way it was said to him. In fact, Gohan imagined the blonds would be able to talk with each other well until the official school bell rang and would continue talking until the next morning. Really, he had actually witness the two do that. It was…alarming.
Nearby the blonds was the class celebrity Videl. She just stood off to a side, her arms crossed in front of her chest and her eyes shut. It seemed as if she were sleeping while standing up, a phenomenon that Gohan had only seen happen with horses. But he knew better than to think that. In fact, a school jock was thinking that way as he approached the dark-haired girl, a curious hand reaching out to touch the girl around her backside.
With the speed of a snake, one of Videl's hands shot out and caught the wandering hand at the wrist. A few seconds passed before several cracking noises were heard and the jock howled in pain. "My hand! My hand!" he shouted as he tried to move away from the Satan girl, but was unable to so much as nudge her. Finally, Videl released her grip and the jock toppled backwards onto the ground, holding what looked like a shattered wrist in his other hand. Videl's arm returned to its original resting place, acting as if nothing had happened.
"Wow Videl, that's like the sixth guy you've done that to," Erasa commented, looking at the girl in amusement.
"Seventh, actually," Videl replied, still in her pose.
Gohan couldn't help but look behind the Satan girl, finding seven guys, including the most recent guy, holding their arms or hands. Faint moans and groans of pain left their lips as they writhe in agony. Blinking his eyes, Gohan had to wonder if more boys would be joining them soon.
"And what are you looking at?" he heard the familiar testy voice of Videl say, the words being aimed right at him. Apparently, the demi-saiyan had forgotten that he'd been looking in the dark-haired girl's direction, even though he hadn't been looking directly at her.
"Oh, sorry," he said, dropping his head down and looking towards the ground. "I was looking at the guys behind you."
Videl stared at him before turning her head to look behind her, seeing the fallen jocks. "Oh, them," was all she said as she stared for a moment before resuming her previous position. "They'll be okay."
"Okay?" Gohan blinked. How did someone become okay after having their hands and arms broken?
"Yeah, that's what I said. You can stop looking now or I can help you feel the way they do. It wouldn't be too much trouble."
Gohan did an about-face. Though it was doubtful Videl could actually break something of his, the thought of her finding out would only make her suspicious of him, even if she wasn't already. He didn't need anymore attention than he already had.
Fortunately, the Great Kami in the sky decided to give him a helpful hand at avoiding that scenario. Down the street appeared a brightly, yellow-colored bus, its rickety engine making itself known from several blocks down. You could see a dark trail of exhaust following it as it seemed to gasp and lurch itself forward. It seemed that the school needed to seriously consider getting a new one. Gohan was pretty sure there were better models on the market.
Chugging along, the bus reached the school grounds, stopping in front of the large group of students. Shrilly, the bus door opened, giving another hint at the age of the bus.
For a moment, Gohan stared at the poorly-aged vehicle. Was there any way this thing could take them to their destination and back? It looked as if a stiff breeze could make it fall into scrap metal. Seriously, how cheap was this school when it came to things outside the realm of sports competition? He was pretty sure the school used chartered buses for such things.
Because of the demi-saiyan's internal monologue, he failed to notice his peers immediately rush the bus, creating a traffic jam of body parts and shouting. Upon realizing the massive dogpile, Gohan began picking up the protests and angry claims of who would get to sit at the back of the bus. Gohan didn't know why they would want to sit all the way back there, but to each their own he supposed.
So the Son boy calmly approached the crowd, found a nice narrow gap between the crowd and bus and slipped into it, moving all the way up to the bus door that was surprisingly empty. Entering the bus, Gohan moved a couple rows back before sitting down in one the seats, looking out the window and wondering how long it would take to finally begin this trip.
Eventually, the traffic jam had begun to disperse as students filled onto the bus, filling in seats at random, mostly at the back of the bus and moving forward. Not giving it much mind, Gohan soon heard Sharpner speak up, sounding as if he were in the seat across from his. "Hey Videl, I got a seat right here for you. It's nice and warm and perfect for you."
"No thanks, you can keep it," he heard the Satan girl reply, soon feeling the seat next to him dip. Gohan couldn't help but let out a sigh. It seemed Videl had chosen to sit next to him instead of their mutual friend. Well, might as well see if she was in a talkative mood or not. Who knew how long their ride was going to last and not talking with her at least a little didn't seem to be that great of an option.
Instead of finding the familiar sight of dark hair in twin pig-tails, Gohan was met with a mass of curly red hair. For a moment, the demi-saiyan wondered if he were imagining things or perhaps the mushrooms he had for dinner last night were having a delayed reaction.
That's when the hair creature turned to face him, revealing a feminine face with a wide smile. "Hey cutie!" she squealed, causing Gohan to internally wince. There were only so many frequencies that a voice could project and her voice had settled on the one that caused him headaches. Looking forward to avoid further eye contact, Gohan found the top of Videl's head in the seat in front of him, slightly turned to a side as she conversing with a head of blonde hair, Erasa most likely. Clutching his head, the demi-saiyan reluctantly turned back to the red-head, managing a weak smile as he replied "Uhh, hi."
This seemed to make the girl happy as her eyes lit up in excitement. Her arms somehow had wrapped around his arm as she leaned into him. "Ooooh, you're just as cute as you were in that filler episode we were in together."
Filler episode? Which one? He had been in a lot of them at this point so she was gonna have to be a bit more specific. Hmm, it definitely couldn't have been his ones as a young boy and he wasn't aware of any during the last seven years or so. He did have a string of them recently though, and—
Oh…now he remembered. Which one, he wasn't sure, but he was positive it had something embarrassing involved. After all, that seemed to be his luck since he started coming to this school.
"Umm, thanks," he replied once he had somewhat figured out the filler character. "It's been awhile, hasn't it?"
"Uh huh!" she nodded her head enthusiastically. "Much too long in my opinion. If anything, teddy bears are, like, my favorite animal!"
Ugh, the pounding in his head was getting worse with every word she said. Damn that sound frequency! And the speed that she talked with; it was as if she had put ten spoonfuls of sugar into her coffee or something. Hmm, that sounded familiar for some reason. "Umm, that's nice," the Son boy said as he left his musings.
The girl looked at him with a big smile before leaning her head back on his shoulder. Looking forward once more, Gohan had a feeling he was in for a long trip.
Interesting factoid on this chapter. The filler character's voice causing Gohan a headache is actually based on a true story. I met a girl my first year in college and every word she said gave me a headache, though no fault of her own. Her voice was just that right frequency to do it. Don't y'all just love storytime?