Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. This is indeed the last chapter. I got nothing else to throw at you because I can't think anymore. But more on that at the bottom of the page; I've got a disclaimer to do.
Disclaimer: Don't own Ryoko of Tenchi Muyo
To say that Gohan was uncomfortable would've been right and wrong. Wrong because he didn't quite mind being used as a chair; right because the rest of the class was starting to get very curious as to why Videl had yet to leave his lap. Gohan, though also curious, wasn't quite so insisting in knowing. A notorious tomboy had to get tired of this charade sometime, right?
"You're looking quite comfortable, Videl," the Son boy heard Erasa comment, the blonde facing them from the seat in front of them, an entertained expression on her face.
"If I look that way, I guess then I really am," the Satan girl replied, shrugging her shoulders. It seemed she hadn't given much thought to the choice of her seating arrangement, or at least that was the impression she was giving off. She had even moved to face forward, her back leaning against the Son boy's chest. It had been awhile since she had knocked Sharpner out cold, so her main reason for doing this was moot.
Fortunately, his "flashlight" had decided to disappear at some point.
"Think you'll be doing more of this?" the blonde asked, continuing the conversation.
"I don't know. Maybe."
"You do know I mean sitting in a boy's lap."
"Yeah." Videl's eyes then narrowed. "What are you getting at, Erasa?"
A sly grin appeared on the blonde's lips. "Well, if I didn't know any better, I'd say the two of you were a couple. After all, you don't sit in just any guy's lap." Then Erasa began to pout. "Why didn't you tell me you two had hooked up, Vi? I thought we were friends!"
Both dark-haired teens grew bright red at the implications. It seemed that not only had Gohan not seen that possibility neither had Videl. She was literally making two plus two in her head, though the Son boy could've sworn she was coming up with five for her answer. At this point though, it probably was.
By this time, Videl had managed to get her brain working into high gear to make some sense out of this head-smashing anvil of information. Unfortunately, there was a disconnection somewhere between her mind and her mouth as the only words that were coming from her was baby-speak, or also known as utter gibberish. Gohan was pretty sure a baby would've been able to figure out what she was trying say though. What he wouldn't give to have one of those drool-machines at the moment; you know, for translation.
Erasa, in the meantime, had plowed forward with her line of thinking. "Ooooh, that's just so cute! I wish I had a camera. I just know this moment won't happen in front of me again." Sighing, the blonde added "I just can't help but notice how your bottom and his lap fit together so perfectly."
What? Gohan blinked. What in the world did that mean? It made absolutely no sense at all!
Apparently, Videl was in agreement with his silent thoughts. Or he managed to communicate to her that line of thinking via a telepathic bond that neither one of them knew about, though that was just as inane as the Erasa's comment of their body parts being jigsaw pieces. "Erasa, that's the stupidest thing I have ever, ever heard of."
Erasa huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest, though right beneath her bosom so as to push them up. Always had to make sure the goods were displayed and all. "No it's not," she defended, resisting the urge to point her nose into the air. "All of my romance novels and amateur fanfiction mentions that and if all those writers are wrong, then I don't want to be right!" Glaring at the Satan girl now, the Erasa couldn't help but add "Besides, there are dumber things."
Videl seemed doubtful of that claim. "Oh really? Prove it."
In response, the blonde merely pointed to a side, both dark-haired teens turning their heads to look. What they found was Sharpner's still-comatose body. Both teens let that sight be burned into their brains before turning away, Videl muttering "Cheater," as she did so.
"All is fair in madness and deceit, Vi," Erasa retorted triumphantly.
"Well, don't look too far into your far-fetched theory of me being part of a couple," the Satan girl grumbled.
"I don't see why you're fighting it so much. I mean, you haven't left Gohan's lap since you sat in it," the blonde said to complete her case.
Videl rolled her eyes. "I can get off of Gohan anytime I want. He's just more comfortable than these crappy bus seats. See, I'll prove it to you." Grabbing hold of the back of Erasa's and their seats, Videl pulled herself up, though found she didn't go very far. Frowning, the Satan girl lowered herself back down before trying to rise again, getting the same results.
Erasa cocked an eyebrow. "Having trouble getting up, Vi?"
"That's weird," the dark-haired girl said as she lowered herself back onto Gohan's lap, though to be fair, she never left it. Looking down, Gohan couldn't help but notice their clothes seemed to be melding to each other. As Videl tried to get off again, the Son boy saw that indeed their clothes were attached, almost as if they were sticking to each other like Siamese Twins.
Oh no, this couldn't be good. Was that stuff from the jail cell some sort of adhesive and he, the guy with the brain to rival Bulma's, had smeared it all over the front of his shirt and pants? This just couldn't end well.
"Don't just sit there, help me damn it!" Videl shouted into his ear, causing a momentary deafness for the Son boy. Once his hearing was restored and his brain made sense of the Satan girl's bellow, Gohan placed his hands on her hips and began pushing her away from him, just as she was pulling away. Once again, they had the same result, except that Videl began growling like a rabid animal in frustration. Yep, this was just getting better and better.
"Perhaps if we stood up and tried to separate?" Gohan suggested, receiving a nod in affirmation. Standing up awkwardly since the leg room for the bus was cramped tighter than a sardine can, both teens grabbed onto the edge of the seats next to them, Videl on the aisle side and Gohan on the window side. With all of Videl's might and as much as Gohan was willing to put into it, both teens began to pull away from each other, going a small distance from each other before returning. This didn't stop them as they continued to pull and relax their arms simultaneously, trying to separate from each other. Videl had even bent over, feeling she would get better leverage that way.
And this was the sight that Sharpner came to as he awoken from his mild coma. Upon seeing Videl bent over in front of Gohan, her rump against his groin, both with their hands tightly against the seats as they worked, there was only one thought that came across his blond brain.
They were having sex without him. A travesty if he ever knew one.
"This can't be happening!" the blond yelled, catching the attention of everyone on the planet. That's what he liked to think happened anyway—after all, the world did revolve around him. Instead, he just got the attention of everyone within a couple seats radius as everyone outside of that area was too self-absorbed into their unimportant lives. "You two are…but…it can't be…that's supposed to be me!"
"I don't think Gohan would like you sitting on his lap, Sharpner," Videl replied, giving him a strange look. "Unless he swings that way and I didn't know about it."
"No! Not that! It should be me humping your brains out! Not Mountain Boy!"
Both dark-haired teens looked at each other questioning. Though there was an impending Sharpner-beat down coming up, neither seemed to understand why he would say what he said. A normal occurrence to be sure. It took awhile, but eventually both soon realized the position they were in and the actions they were doing, causing two very different reactions. The first one was Gohan becoming redder than a tomato and looking as if he wanted to crawl under something and die. The second one was Videl placing the palm of one of her hands against her face, a low groan of aggravation coming from her lips.
Unfortunately for them, Sharpner mistook that groan for a moan, something that didn't add to his depleted reservoir of sanity. And when a man like Sharpner was around, he refused to accept what he heard, bargained with a higher power that it not be so, rage against it, then finally accept it. Usually the next phase was to move on, but those two words being right next to each other never seemed to make sense to him. He was pretty sure that was code for a woman wanting him more badly than the happy relationship they were already in. He was pretty sure of that actually, though their actions seemed to say they didn't. So when such things happened, Sharpner had to make sure that he got the girl. That's what always mattered.
"My dreams, they're shattered," he moaned in regret, bringing attention back to him, where it should be. "I had such plans for us, Videl! Plans!"
"The only plan I have anything to do with you is how to kill you and make it look like an accident," Videl interjected.
"But that's okay," the blond jock carried on, showing no sign that he caught the Satan girl's words. "I…I think I can share you with that…nerd…behind you. I'm sure I can make do with that. And since I am in a giving mood, I have a surprise for you. Just unzip my—"
"Don't…dare…finish that sentence," Videl warned, a demonic growl coming from her lips. For a moment, Gohan had the feeling someone's blood would be shed this day and with him right next to it.
Sharpner looked at the girl, at first in fear, but then something else took over. "It's worse than I feared," he whispered. "Your brain's being controlled by that bumpkin behind you! Don't worry fair damsel, I the Sharpenator will save you!" Lunging forward, the blond tried to rescue the woman of his wet dreams, feeling as if Kami himself had approved of his noble cause.
Apparently the Devil intervened somewhere between his seat and throttling the Mountain Boy as one of Videl's fists moved right into his path, colliding with his face and stopping his rescue mission. Then for some reason, the dark-haired girl's fists kept bashing into his breaking body, making girlish cries erupt from his very manly lips.
It wasn't until Gohan wrapped his arms around the girl's waist and pulled her back that she stopped beating him. Though not the worst beating he ever received, he had seen better days. A few broken bones and wounds that leaked out blood was all he received this time.
Sitting them back down on the bus seat, Videl still in the Son boy's lap and seething for the umpteenth time, Gohan had to wonder when this thing would end. This was supposed to be a relaxing field trip to some unknown destination and…oh Kami, they hadn't even reached their destination. They would have to go through something like this on the way back.
This day just couldn't get any worse.
And just as if to prove him right, the bus came to a sudden halt, the brakes making a sound so shrill, it threatened to make all dogs cry as their human masters stared at them oddly. But since it didn't reach that frequency, it just made the students cry out as they grasped their ears in pain, their faces smacking into the back of the seat in front of them because of their moving inertia and their non-moving bus. Everyone except for Gohan this is; he had a small body to cushion his lunge, though it must've been very uncomfortable for Videl. When the abused teens were flung back into their seats, a nice faceprint stared back at them, some of them with the words "Have a Nice Day!" written underneath them.
"Weeeeee're heeeeeeeeere!" the teacher announced merrily. Disoriented, the student body looked out the right side windows of the bus and nearly collapsed out of disbelief.
Staring back at them was the pristine visage of Orange Star High School, sparkling from a heavenly glow that appeared out of nowhere.
"Umm…Teacher? This is the school," one of the students said.
"It is? Odd." Pulling out a piece of paper that held the coordinates of their destination, he made sure they were indeed where the paper said they needed to go. "Well I'll be darned."
That was when a deathly tone came from a very familiar feminine voice. "Are you telling me that the school sent us on a ride through the country just to come back to the school?" Videl questioned, her tone promising future tortures should her conclusion be right.
The teacher obviously heard the not so subtle threat. Stuttering, he said "I-I-I guess s-s-so."
Above the bus, a dark cloud began forming, reaching out over the metropolis of Satan City. A loud, painful scream echoed throughout the concrete jungle soon after.
"This is Orikasa Ryoko for ZTV News. Earlier today, Satan City came under attack by a mob of disgruntled teenage students, all from the Orange Star School District. The cause behind their behavior is currently unknown, but as of right now, Downtown Satan City is on fire and spreading out into the surrounding suburbs. Police action has been taken but any attempt to quell the violence has been struck down harder than a blond guy getting beaten by a bag of hammers.
"In other news, Videl Satan was seen running about the streets of Satan City without any pants on. An unknown teen with a weird haircut was chasing after her holding a pair of shorts. Gossip magazines and tabloids are currently investigating this unprecedented occurrence. In this reporter's opinion, which should be made into law—though I don't understand why any politician won't take me seriously—the daughter of the World Savior is having an affair with a 30 year old married man and became quite upset when he refused to leave his wife for her. In a bout of anger, she took to the streets to put him to sh—
"Just a moment…this just in. ZTV is firing their lead News Anchor, Orikasa Ryoko, due to a recent—hey, that's me! They can't fire me! I made this—"
And off the television went.
Sitting comfortable in a living room, two dark-haired men who went by the names of Krillen and Yamcha just shook their heads in disproval. Nearby them sat Eighteen, who was busy coaxing her daughter into sleep.
"What is this world coming to?" Yamcha asked rhetorically. "I know people can be crazy at times, but the teenagers leading a revolt? Ouch."
Krillen nodded his agreement. "Must be something they're teaching in the schools." Turning his head to look at his wife, the monk said "See Eighteen? This is why we shouldn't send Marron to school."
Eighteen looked at her husband with a blank stare. "I never said we should send her. You were the one arguing with your reflection whether she was old enough to leave the island without supervision."
"I was? Huh. Honey, the next time I start thinking of something that dumb, could you give me a good smack to the head?"
"Consider it done."
Giving her a smile, Krillen turned back to Yamcha. "It's good to be the one that wears the pants in the—"
A loud whack was heard.
"OWWW! Why did you hit me Eighteen?"
"You were about to think of something dumb. As if you wore the pants in this house."
The Principal turned on his computer, feeling utterly relaxed and tranquil. It was amazing how one could feel when the demon spawns called teenagers were nothing more than an afterthought. No worries of whether they were learning the academia material, no cares if they were behaving, nothing that had to be covered up because someone accidently blew up their fellow classmate in science class.
That tranquility disappeared the moment he opened his email.
He had been in a good mood when he brought up the first one. Upon reading how someone intended on using him as a lab experiment for the removal of certain organs crushed any thought he had of having a lovely weekend. Other emails got even gorier, including one that had something to do with using his special man parts for ping pong balls. Hell, these were worse than the ones the teachers' union came up with!
Finishing one that mentioned something about a frying pan and starvation, the principal was nearly in tears. Why? Why? Why did this have to happen to him? It was so unfair! Why couldn't these parents hate someone else like rational people? They should blame the union for this blunder, not him! They were the ones that made him do it!
He was only a man with little responsibility after all!
To SesshyLover: Awesomeness huh? I can go with that lol
Sidenote concerning Ryoko: I got the Orikasa surname from a Tenchi Muyo OVA, which I have never seen but it sounded like fun. I originally wanted to use Sota like I did in Unfriendly Competition, but alas he didn't fit the role. But Ryoko did lol.
I've enjoyed this little story, though I wished I could make it a little longer. I was trying something new with this one, which I think put a lot more detail into the story than I usually do, and I liked the outcome of that. It definitely made the chapters longer too, so that was a bonus as well. I know some of you are wondering why I didn't send them to a survival camp, or CC, or some other place that would most assuredly embarrass Gohan from the roots of his hair down to the nails on his toes. Well to start, I had no inclination to go to one of those places; I just wanted to focus on the actual travel of the field trip and make it go horribly wrong. I think I succeeded in that regard lol. So in the end, the destination didn't really matter, well, except to piss off the studenty body as the news report mentioned lol.
Anyways, thank you all who read and reviewed this story, especially you reviewers. Your words always leave a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Thanks again!
Until next time,