Not So Simple
Staring at the glossy page, Kurt couldn't help but find it ironic that he was once again alone in the Dalton common room and reading about Charlemagne.
Well… to be totally honest, he wasn't exactly studying per se. Yes, the book was open in front of him, and his eyes were moving over the little black words. But he hadn't truly comprehended more than two lines of the text in the past hour.
Instead, his thoughts had wandered to Blaine, and unfortunately, they'd stayed there. And, of course, the harder Kurt tried to concentrate on his studies, the clearer Blaine became in his mind. His kind eyes, playful grin, slicked back brown hair… it was all there, almost like Kurt had taped up a photograph in his brain. (Much like he had in his locker at WMHS.)
Irritated with his inability to focus for even five minutes, Kurt squeezed his eyes shut in an effort to re-center himself. Unfortunately though, when he opened them again, the book before him was even less appealing than before. Now, the words didn't even look like words. Instead, they looked like neatly arranged squiggles on the bright white page. Without even trying to read a single sentence, Kurt slammed the text shut and stood up.
With a heavy sigh, Kurt plopped down onto the soft couch. Crossing his arms over his chest, he realized that he'd sat in the exact same spot as he had after helping Blaine practice for his duet. It had only been a few days since they'd danced around the room together, singing of the cold and romance.
But it felt like a lifetime ago.
Kurt knew that that was because the "King's Island Christmas Spectacular" was tonight. That it was, in fact, happening right then, as he sat on the couch sulking. And yes, Kurt knew that he could have been in the audience watching Blaine sing. After all, Blaine had invited him and had even offered to take him out to eat afterwards; however, Kurt had said no.
Because really, he just didn't think he could candle watching Blaine sing "Baby, It's Cold Outside" with some girl.
It wasn't like he thought of it as "their song" or anything like that, because they weren't a their. But the idea of watching Blaine dance and sing and flirt with her (whoever she was) made Kurt's stomach clench painfully nonetheless.
He knew it was stupid, because she was a girl, but he couldn't help the jealousy that had flooded through him.
So now he was alone, surrounded by plush velvet chairs, brilliant red poinsettias, a roaring fire, and… no Blaine.
Charlemagne now completely forgotten, Kurt tightened his arms over his chest and burrowed deeper into the sofa. And even though he knew it was dangerous, he gave his mind free range to roam wherever it wanted.
Instantly, his thoughts had created a vision of what the concert hall must look like – classy white and red decorations with twinkling lights all over the stage. Every seat was filled. Then, on the stage, was a small set that was supposed to resemble a living room, though it was just a sofa and a fake fireplace.
But it was enough to remind Kurt of the couch he was sitting on and the fireplace that was keeping him warm.
As bad as that was though, it was nothing compared to seeing Blaine with a girl (who could have been Rachel's doppelgänger), her hands held tightly in his as they sang about icy fingers. And he looked so happy… so in love with her. Kurt knew Blaine was gay, but to see that look on his face aimed at someone else…
"Hey! I thought I'd find you here." Blaine's voice, bright and enthusiastic, not to mention completely unexpected, ripped Kurt from his thoughts. "How goes the stu-" As he stepped in front of the couch, Blaine's eyes moved from the open text on the desk to where Kurt was slumped on the couch. "Ah. Not going so well I see." Blaine's handsome face split into the grin that always made Kurt's heart beat just a little faster.
"No, not really." Kurt shifted himself on the couch so that he was sitting up a little straighter.
"See…." Blaine's expression became conspiratorial, like he knew all. "I told you you shouldn't study so much. I also remember telling you -" He unwound his dark grey scarf and threw it over the arm of the sofa. "That a break… like coming to watch the concert, for instance, would do you some good."
"I know." Kurt tried to smile as his thoughts flashed back to Blaine flirtatiously singing with Rachel's double. "But I told -"
"And now here you are…." Blaine's voice cut through Kurt's words. "All studied out and looking like a lump. Granted… a very stylish lump. But still, a lump."
At Blaine's proclamation, Kurt sat up straighter than a board, his legs and arms crossing primly. Blaine, who was unzipping his wool coat, laughed.
"I am not." Even as Kurt denied it, he knew it was true.
"Yes, you are." Smirking, Blaine pulled off his coat and went to lay it with the scarf over the arm of the couch. And while the scarf had been one thing, the coat was practically soaked with melted snow.
"No! Don't put that there!" Just as the wool was about to come in contact with the red velvet, Kurt sprang to his feet. "It'll ruin the upholstery." Grabbing the jacket out of Blaine's surprised hands, Kurt rushed over to hang it on the coat rack. When he turned back around, Blaine was staring at him with a confused expression on his face.
"Is everything ok, Kurt?" Blaine locked his eyes on Kurt's, much like he had the day they'd first met.
"I… Umh…." Yes, there was something wrong. But Kurt didn't want to try and explain that he was jealous of some Rachel-esque girl that Blaine had to flirt with on stage. He didn't want Blaine to know that he was jealous, because he wanted to have been the one up on stage with him. But most of all… Kurt didn't really want Blaine to know he felt that way about him at all.
Well… he did.
Kurt really, really did.
More than anything.
But things were still so new between them. And sure, they'd become good friends almost instantly. Kurt's transfer to Dalton had practically ensured that they spent most of their evenings together, which Kurt loved. Which was why Kurt was so terrified of screwing things up.
"I…." Kurt walked back towards the couch, trying to swallow his jealousy. "How was she?" When Blaine's expression turned from concern to confusing, Kurt felt himself blush ever so slightly. "The girl you had to sing with tonight, I mean." Kurt sounded hesitant, and he knew he'd put too much emphasis on the question. But he couldn't help it. Blaine had asked what was wrong, and this was the closest Kurt was going to get to offering an explanation.
"Wow." Blaine cocked his head to the side slightly, his expression still one of confusion. "You make it sound like I went out on a date with her or something…."
"No, I -" Kurt felt his blush deepen, and he instantly regretted what he'd said.
"I know." The look on Blaine's face gave way to a small grin, one that looked mischievous by the light of the fire. He looked like he wanted to say more, to drag out the teasing. But thankfully he gave his head a little shake, as if deciding against it. "She was ok. Nothing special." Blaine shrugged. "Not like the girls from your old glee club."
At the comment, Kurt felt his stomach drop. He knew that Blaine was just trying to be nice, because he understood how much Kurt missed New Directions. But still, the comment instantly brought back his fears of Blaine singing with someone like Rachel. And now he had to add Quinn and Santana to that list as well.
Before he could stop himself, Kurt heard himself asking, "What did she look like?" Feeling ridiculous but still hoping that Blaine didn't say that she was similar to any of them, Kurt sat back down on the plush sofa.
"She was about…" Blaine held up his hand to what Kurt thought was around five foot eight. "This tall. And she had bright red hair. Pretty." He sat down beside Kurt and flashed him a brilliant smile. "But not my type."
Relieved, Kurt smiled and relaxed back into the couch.
In retrospect, he knew he'd been stupid. After all, Blaine was gay. Totally and completely gay. But Kurt had still been so jealous of this girl just because she'd gotten to sing on stage with Blaine. It was like being angry about Rachel's crush on Finn all over again. Except this time around, Kurt did have a chance, and the girl didn't. Which, as he thought about it, seemed so stupid and ridiculous.
And he'd almost let it get the best of him.
When Kurt didn't say anything else, Blaine relaxed back into the cushion next to him. Their shoulders were pressed together, and as Blaine turned a little to look at him, their knees bumped. "So… what's really bothering you?" As they looked at one another, Blaine's eyes reflected the flickering fire.
"I'm…" Kurt pursed his lips together before smiling. "Just stressing about school and stuff. It's not important anymore."
And… it wasn't. Or, he wouldn't let it be anyway. If he wanted to be with Blaine, Kurt knew that he needed to trust him. It was as simple as that, even if it wasn't really simple at all.
"Ok…." Blaine looked at Kurt as if he didn't really believe him, but he didn't push for more. "Well then, how about dinner?" He poked Kurt in the stomach playfully. "With all of that studying, you must be starving."
Just as Blaine pulled his hand away, Kurt's stomach gave a traitorous growl, causing them both to laugh.
"I'll take that as a yes." Grabbing Kurt's hand, Blaine stood and pulled Kurt to his feet.
And as Blaine spun him to face the door and frog marched him to the cafeteria, Kurt couldn't help but think that maybe it could be that simple after all.
Squeeka Cuomo's Notes
- This fic was written for aliashpfanatic who wanted to see Blaine comforting Kurt. I hope you enjoy it! :)
- Quack: Thanks for being such an awesome person!
- Reviews are love.