Hi so I had this idea floating round in my head for a skins fanfic and decided to give it a go. Spelling and punctuation are not really me strong suits. I also tend to write overly long sentences. But if you can overlook these things give it a read.
She felt herself slowly become aware, the fog in her brain slowly lifting the sounds, smells and feel of things around her coming into focus. She felt a dull ache in her head and a hand clutching hers. It felt nice it was warm and soothing. As her brain began to recognise these things she began to try and work out where she was. She was definitely in a bed. She could feel the softness of the pillow and sheets wrapped tightly around her. She could hear loud continuous beeps and her nostrils were picking up a sharp clean smell. The sound couldn't be her alarm clock as that was set to wake her to the radio and the smell didn't remind her of the room she shared with her twin. She decide the only way to figure it out would be to open her eyes. Slowly she attempted to get them open managing to do so for a second before she closed them again her irises protesting the bright lights.
"Nurse" she heard a voice she didn't recognise nearby saying "I think she was trying to open her eyes".
Despite the fact that she was fairly sure she didn't recognise the voice it seemed fairly excited that she might be waking up. It had said nurse that must mean she was in a hospital. This thought confused her greatly. The last thing she remembered was her last day of middle school. She remembers the final assembly, saying goodbye to all her friends and her sister being really excited about college because of all the fit guys there would be.
Despite the fact that this was her last memory she had a feeling that time had passed since then. Her legs felt longer than she remembered and she felt like she was quite a bit older and wiser than she had been in her school girl days. Deciding that the only way to find out exactly what was happening would be waking up she attempted once again to open her eyes. This time she was slightly more successful and after blinking several times she managed to keep them open holding them steady for a moment as the room can into focus. As it did she took in her surroundings.
"Emily" the voice from earlier said happiness in her tone.
She it seemed was the one holding her had and smiled widely at her from her seat on the left side of her bed. Her voice alerted both the nurse and Katie who was on the other side of the bed to my consciousness.
"Emsy" said Katie.
An older version of her than I remember confirming my belief that middle school was longer ago then my brain was trying to tell me. I smiled at her relieved she was there and I wasn't in a room of strangers. The next person to talk was the nurse.
"Emily do you remember what happened to you?" she asked checking my pulse and pulling the blankets back to start checking my reactions as she talked.
"No" I answered truthfully as she tapped my knee and my leg responded as it should.
She pulled back satisfied with her physical examination.
"Ok do you remember what day it is?" she asked clearly trying now to gauge my mental state.
"No" I replied again looking at both the worried faces of Katie and the woman holding my hand.
"What about the month"
"No" I said starting to get upset "and before you ask no I don't know what year it is"
The faces of the people in the room got even more worried and the warm hand holding mine began stroking the back of my hand with her thumb clearly trying to calm my mood. It felt nice but only upset me more as I looked up into her face and realised I had no idea who she was.
"Do you know who these two women are?" the nurse asked gesturing to my sister and the mystery lady.
"That's my twin sister Katie" I say confidently.
Katie smiles clearly pleased I can remember. Then I turn around to look at the other women. She is very beautiful she has blue eyes and bleach blonde hair. She smiles at me as I look at her and it makes me smile back despite the fact that she is a stranger to me. I look into her eyes again and a memory comes to me of a much younger girl who looks remarkably like her. It's at a middle school party. She and I talked and then ended up kissing before Katie came along and ruined the moment.
"Um I think I kissed her at a party in middle school" I say responding to the nurse's question after a few minutes of studying the lady's face.
"Her name is Nancy no that's not right um Naomi that's it." Clearly I've got it right as Naomi smiles at me and squeeze my hand in hers.
"Emily" the Nurse says her voice serious "it appears you are suffering from some serious memory loss. You where brought into the hospital about 4 hours ago after falling over at the mall. This fall while causing no long term physical damage did it seems hit the memory sector of your brain."
"How old am I" I ask looking at the faces around me "how much time have I forgotten."
"You're 28" says Katie taking my free hand in hers "I'm guessing if you last memory was some time during middle school then you've lost about 15 years."
"Fifteen years" I say feeling tears start to form behind my eyes.
The whole idea is overwhelming. I want to ask more questions find out what I've missed weather I can get my memories back but I can't. My head is a hurricane of emotions and questions. It feels like it's about to explode as I focus really hard to conjure up some recent memory to try and prove the Nurse wrong.
"Will she ever get it back" asks Naomi who is still faithfully sitting by my bed holding my hand. I find it interesting that she is as far as I know she is just a cute girl I kissed once. The fact she is still here must mean we are friends or something now.
"We can't be sure of that Mrs Campbell some patients eventually gain most of their memory back. Others regain bits and pieces. Some never regain the memories from their old life and are forced to start again. One thing we do know is that for those who do regain memories after head trauma is it familiar sights, sounds and smells that help them to do so. We also know that it usually doesn't all return at once but in random bits and pieces." The Nurse filled Mrs Campbell in professionally.
Wait Campbell Naomi Campbell this inner thought causes me to laugh out loud.
"You think it's funny" Katie asked annoyance in her voice.
"No" I say trying to control my laughter but controlling any of my emotions right now seems impossible "but her name is" I continue pointing to Naomi as Katie begins to laugh with me.
"It's good to see your sense of humours still intact" Katie says through her giggles clearly pleased to see that part of her little sister's still there.
"Yeah but its Mrs Campbell" turning my head to direct my speech at Naomi "at least your Mum didn't call you Naomi Campbell"
"Ha if only I was so lucky it is actually my birth name my mother is that cruel. Although she swears it was due to the fact she was doped out on pain meds. I actually have a hyphenated name." she explained nicely not at all annoyed it seemed by the fact that I was laughing at her.
Curiosity then gets the better of me and I have a deep need to find out why she is sat here by my bed side holding my hand when presumably she has a husband perhaps even a family waiting for her at home. This makes me wonder if perhaps I too am married. I looked down to my left hand which is clutched in Katie's but see no ring. There does appear however to be a tan line where one has clearly sat for a while.
"Am I married" I ask Katie wondering if the ring was merely removed on admission or if perhaps I'm recently divorced.
I don't think I am. I can't explain why just that I think I wouldn't get married unless I envisioned it lasting forever. On the other hand a lot of time has passed since I remember who I am and it is likely that in that time I too have changed.
"Yes" Katie answers simply looking across the bed at Naomi as if to ask for help.
Why would she be asking Naomi for help? Perhaps Naomi knows my husband perhaps mine and hers are good friends perhaps her and I are. I'm not sure but something definitely went down. Just then there is a knock on the door distracting me from pondering on the situation. Everyone looks up and at the door we see an aging blond woman holding a small child.
"Excuse me for just a moment" Naomi says getting up from her chair and heading for the door. When she reaches it she pushes it open and walks outside to talk to the older woman. As they stand side by side I see the resemblance and come to the conclusion that it must be her mother. Another thought that raised questions in her mind. Why would Naomi's mother be coming to see her at the hospital surely she could leave if need be. It wouldn't offend Emily if she left though her presence wasn't annoying her either just raising questions. If she were asked to admit it she would have to admit she actually quite liked having her there for some odd reason. Her attention was redirected to the door as she saw movement. The small girl was now in Naomi arms. Emily assumed this girl must be Naomi's daughter. She is now safely in her arms and was giving her a kiss and snuggling into her neck. Naomi returned the kiss then turned her attention to talking to her mother. The small girl it seemed soon got sick of being in her mothers arms and began to wriggle. She looked around and her eyes meet with Emily's. The small girl smiled wide and waved excitedly. She must know her she assumed from the enthusiasm she was directing at her. She waved back and smiled. She really was a cute wee thing with brown curly hair and bug shinning brown eyes. She must be a lot like her father though Emily decided because her resemblance to Naomi it seems was something she couldn't pick out.
She turned to ask her sister about it but she was fully engrossed in whatever boring soap was playing on the TV. This annoyed Emily somewhat because had it been Katie lay in her bed she would have been doing anything thing she could to make her feel comfortable. On the other hand she was kind of glade for the peace and quite for a moment to collect both her thoughts and emotions. She turned her attention back to the door just in time to see the little girl wriggling so much that Naomi put her down. Then very quickly she slipped her hand from her mothers and dashed into the room and over to Emily's bed.
"Mumma" she said smiling widely up at Emily "Feel better Mumma" She asked innocently.
Just as she said it Naomi came into the room realising the escape and Katie turned around to look at the little girl. She was calling me Mumma why was she doing that I assumed she was Naomi's daughter but perhaps she was mine. I didn't have much time to contemplate this as Katie voice broke my thoughts.
"Hey Kelly how about you come with Aunty Katie to get some lollies from the shop" she said obviously trying to get rid of the girl so I could collect my thoughts.
"Want to stay with Mumma" replied the girl holding her arms up to me like she wanted a cuddle.
My mind was going in over drive trying to figure out all the things going on and the next actions helped nothing. Naomi lifted the girl up in her arms and kissed her cheek.
"You go with Aunty now, you can come back and visit Mumma later ok" she said rubbing her back soothingly.
"Ok Mummy" she said relaxing in Naomi arms obviously having complete trust in her. "Love you Mummy" She said kissing Naomi.
"Love you too baby girl" Naomi replied before putting the girl down and turning to face me.
Katie looked at me and smiled before taking the small girls hand and leading her out of the room. This gave me a minute to think about the situation that had just occurred. The young child had appeared to call both me and Naomi her mother. That's odd perhaps my brains just muddled and I misunderstood her still underdeveloped language. There is no way both me and Naomi could be her mother was there? Unless I was a surrogate because she couldn't have children or vice versa, then perhaps I guess the child might call us both Mum. I still found this to be highly unlikely. Naomi must have noticed the confused look on my face.
"You must have a lot of questions" she says looking at me "I'll tell you whatever you want to know and leave out whatever you don't" she said.
This again seemed odd to me why would Katie leave Naomi to answer my questions when presumable her or perhaps my husband would surely know more about my life. Pushing this thought aside I decide to trust her and my sister's decision and start with my most pressing questions.
"Why was that child calling both you and me her mother did one of us carry a baby for the other or something?" I ask wanting to know if the beautiful wee girl was a part of me.
"Kind of" Naomi said biting her lip nervously as if searching for words to explain.
"Biologically she is your child you gave birth to her but legally we are both her parents".
I take in what she said for a minute then look at her puzzled.
"I don't get it why would you be her mother wouldn't my husband be the other parent to my child?"
She looks down at her hands and twisting her wedding band as if looking for some inspiration to the question there. She takes it off and hands it to me as if in some way it will answer my question. I look down at the gold band it is very beautiful. At first glance it looks like a normal plain gold band but on closer inspection it has an intricate design engraved into it. The engravings were of vines growing around the ring I traced it with my finger seeing that it joint together continuously circling the ring. I noticed an engraving on the inside of the ring too. I pulled it closer to my eyes to read what it says. It reads in beautiful italic script 'Naomi & Emily forever & always'. Wow I wasn't expecting that.
"We're married?" I manage to voice looking at the woman before me who is apparently my wife.
"Yeah" Naomi replies looking up at me. I must look quite panicked I don't know what to say or how to react this is a lot to take in.
"B bb but we can't be" I stutter out "I'm not gay I can't be married to a woman".
I feel a little bad for saying this as I see a hint of sadness flash across Naomi face. It's gone again pretty quickly.
"I understand this is really hard for you Ems. It is hard enough having to admit that you're gay once. To do it again cause you can't remember the first time or anything about your life I can't imagine how that must feel. I just want you to know that whatever you need or whatever you want to know I'm here to support you."
All I could hear in her voice was sincerity. I looked at her amazed here was my wife well as far as I know. A wife I couldn't remember and was trying to deny, telling me that it was ok. That she would do whatever I needed. How could she be so nice why was she not upset and distraught. She put her hand in her pocket and pulled out her wallet. She opened it and I watched wondering what she was doing. She pulled out two small pieces of paper handing them to me. As she did I realised I still had her wedding band and handed that back to her. I looked down at what she had handed me and realised they were photos. The first one was of a very happy looking me and Naomi on what must have been our wedding day. We are both wearing beautiful white dresses. It is a candid shot we are on the dance floor Naomi's hands around my waist mine resting on her shoulders. The bit I like most about the picture is that I'm laughing. Someone must have done something really funny because I have my head thrown back mouth wide open eyes crinkling shut. Naomi is just looking at me like I'm the only thing in the room a wide smile on her face as if she's about to join in with my giggles. The other is of Naomi, a baby I assume is Kelly and I. It must be not long after I gave birth. I look all sweaty and tried yet I have the biggest smile on my face. I'm holding the baby in my arms and looking at her with complete awe. Naomi is sat on my hospital bed with me. Her arms are wrapped around mine helping me hold the baby. Her head is tucked lovingly into my neck and she too is looking at the child with awe and love.
"We look really happy" I say breaking the silence after a few minutes of studying the photos.
"We were,we are" she says "well this morning we were."
"I'm sorry I don't remember" I say feeling guilty.
"Don't apologise Ems it's not your fault. I understand ok. I love you but I'm not going to try and tell you why you should love me. I understand that right now I'm just a girl you kissed once. I'm not going to try and tell you who you are or what you should be thinking or doing. But I'm also not giving up on us. I love you Ems."
"What are you going to do then?" I ask.
"I guess I'm just going to have to charm you into falling in love all over again. You fought for us at the very beginning I guess now it's my turn."
"You make it sound easy" I say a slight laugh in my voice.
"No" she says smiling at me "I don't think it will be easy but I do think it will happen I have faith we are meant to be. That's something considering once upon a time I didn't really believe in anything. I find it kind of ironic really you had to do a lot of work to get me to believe I was gay and should be with you. Karma it seems may now be making me do the same." She says giving a little laugh at the end.
"Great so you think its funny I'm hurt and don't remember anything" I say harshly a little angry at the way she was talking.
"What no of course not, I would trade places with you in a second if I could you really think I'm enjoying the fact you can't even remember I'm your wife. I love you Emily Fitch and I will do anything I can to help you get through this."
"I'm sorry you are being really great my emotions and head are just all over the place. It doesn't seem real you know I feel like I'm going to wake up in my single bed, in my tiny room, next to my snoring sister any moment." I tell her.
She smiles at me taking my hand again then letting it go once she realised she had done it.
"Sorry" she says quietly. "I'm just so used to touching you I'll try to resist the impulse can't promise I won't slip up though."
"It's ok" I reply I really want to allow her to hold my hand but at the same time I feel like I need some time to figure things out.
"Ems" she starts "sorry I'll try and call you Emily. I know you need me to act differently than I would around you. I will just let me know if I'm freaking you out. I'll also leave when Katie gets back and give you some space. Talking with her it might help. I know right now you trust her a lot more than you do me. I understand that. Kelly though she's only two she's not going to understand this whole situation. So please Emily when she comes back just pretend. All you need to do is give her a kiss and a cuddle and tell her you lover her. Do you think you could do that? She wouldn't understand if her Mumma didn't. You really do love her with all your heart. She's our little angel our greatest achievement. I am willing to give you time and space in every other situation but I really just need you to pretend for our daughter's sake." She says emotion evident in her words.
I can see this whole situation is hard for her. I look at her face see she's trying to keep her face free of emotion but her eyes give away the turmoil going on within. She really must be a pretty amazing woman to be hiding that for my sake. I think about what she asked me to do and know it's the right thing. I know from the memories I have that any child I have would be my everything. Weather I get my memories back or not, weather I end up with Naomi or not, I know my child will be a part of my life. I'm not going to ruin her memories of me by hurting her now.
"Of course" I say looking at the relief that shows on her face "for her I can pretend just for a bit."
"Thanks Emily" She says kissing me softly on the forehead and then realising what she's done.
The kiss felt nice relaxed me a little. My brains still going a mile a minute with all the information it's trying to process. I'm also a little nervous I won't be able to pretend to be a good mother but for a second while her lips were on my head that disappeared. While I want to tell her it's ok and to do it again as she pulls away with a mumbled sorry I can't. This is all too weird at the moment. I want to let her just be my wife and tell me all about our life together because I feel guilty and can see the pain she feels. But I can't because I too feel scared and sad and lonely. I want to trust her and all she has told me but right now I can't.
So what's the verdict got some ideas in my head where this could be going. So if you want to see more flick me a review and some ideas if you have any. If it does go on some of the chapters will prob be from Naomi POV so we can get inside her head a bit too.
P.S I claim to know nothing about head injury or recovery so any inaccuracies in that area I apologise for.