Bathed In Black
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.
Deluded Banner available on profile.
Summary: During Bella's graduation party, Jacob tries to get information from her that she doesn't want to share. To distract him, she offers herself as a dance partner. A scene that could have been in Ch. 16 of Eclipse. Direct quotes used for authenticity.
Bella's graduation party is in full swing. Edward has left her side. Alice has had a vision but has not shared it with Bella. Jacob has just shown up and is vying for her attention, but she is busy trying to figure out what Alice saw.
Jacob and I were arguing again, as per usual. He was trying to give me a gift, which I was vehemently refusing. I was being a brat, and I knew it. I didn't care. He sort of deserved it, what with all of the unwanted kissing. I was trying to get away from him and back to Alice to find out what was going on.
He put his hand under my chin and pulled my face up. "Could I please have just a few seconds of your undivided attention, Miss Swan?"
I jerked away from his touch. "Keep your hands to yourself, Jacob," I hissed.
"Sorry!" he said at once, holding his hands up in surrender. "I really am sorry. About the other day, I mean, too. I shouldn't have kissed you like that. It was wrong. I guess . . . well, I guess I deluded myself into thinking you wanted me to."
"Deluded — what a perfect description!"
"Be nice. You could accept my apology, you know."
"Fine. Apology accepted."
I tried to get away, but he kept my attention by giving me my gift, a beautiful bracelet with a hand carved wolf charm on it. He really had some skill. I was thoroughly impressed.
I gave him my honest thanks and everything felt right between us again, the tension fading away. That is, until he realized that I was thoroughly distracted. He called me on my crap, like he always did, and realized that what I was hiding had to do with this whole Vampire fiasco. He looked incensed and ready to hurt someone. It didn't make me feel any better that I was hiding what little I knew about it from him, but I wasn't giving in.
Jacob stared at me for one short moment, and then turned to catch his pack brothers' eyes where they stood in the entry, awkward and uncomfortable. When they took in his expression, they started moving, weaving their way agilely through the partiers, almost like they were dancing, too. In half a minute, they stood on either side of Jacob, towering over me.
"Now. Explain," Jacob demanded.
Embry and Quil looked back and forth between our faces, confused and wary.
"Jacob, I don't know everything." I kept searching the room now for a rescue. They had me backed into a corner in every sense.
"What you do know, then."
They all folded their arms across their chests at exactly the same moment. It was a little bit funny, but mostly menacing.
It appeared that no one was coming to my rescue, and I'd need to get out of this predicament myself. I needed time to process everything before telling Jacob what was going on. He was such a hot head, and I didn't think it was a good idea to tell him anything amongst a group of my friends. Spontaneous werewolf would not be a welcomed surprise at my party, no matter how cute and charming this one was. So, I said the thing that came to mind. "Wanna dance, Jake?"
He chuckled for a moment, and then his brow furrowed as he realized that I was serious. I'd do anything at this point to get out of explaining things to him. I just needed to keep him calm. Hopefully it would work.
He glanced to his right and left at Quil and Embry, thinking it over. It took only a second for him to decide, and then he was leading me into the living room where my friends were all dancing. Jessica and Angela were giving me wary looks, but I did my best to ignore them.
He placed me in a formal dance position, and we were ridiculously far apart from one another. I couldn't help it and started to giggle.
"What? I'm not that bad am I?" he asked, smiling.
"No," I said, watching his eyes twinkle as his smile grew wider. "It's just . . . you said you were sorry, and I accepted. There's no need for all this space. I dance closer with my grandpa."
"Right. Just trying to be polite. Don't want to piss you off anymore or break any of your other fingers," he said.
"Sure, sure," I said, mocking him and using his own phrase to show him how silly he was being.
"Alright. Well, no complaining then. And I take no responsibility for my actions from this point on. And . . . just remember, you asked me to dance."
All I could do was smile. He was so silly sometimes, and he always had a way of diffusing a situation.
Jacob pulled me closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I held them there loosely, and he scowled at me.
"Closer." He said it as though he were instructing a child. "Closer," he repeated as he pushed my hands together around his neck. "Better," he finished, and then wrapped his own arms around my lower back.
It was nice feeling close to him and dancing to a soothing slow song. I hadn't danced in so long, and I was surprised that I was even doing it now and actually enjoying it. But then again, what didn't I enjoy doing with Jacob? Maybe fighting, and even then I had to admit that bickering with him was sometimes pleasant. I imagined that's what we would be like as an old married couple. We would constantly bicker. The thought made me smile.
"What are you smiling about?" he wanted to know.
"Nothing. Just you. Us. We're like an old married couple."
"We are not."
"Are so. We bicker like grumpy old people."
"We do not."
"We do so. In fact, we are doing it right now."
"This isn't bickering. This is talking while dancing. Besides would an old couple be able to do this?"
Jacob dipped me then, keeping his body pressed firmly to mine and bending over me. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and his hand in my hair, and it felt amazing. The heat, the smell, the closeness of Jacob was infiltrating my senses. It was scary as hell and a bit intoxicating.
I closed my eyes briefly to will the sensations away, but they didn't disappear. When I opened my eyes he was staring straight at me, a serious expression on his face as if he was contemplating something. He pulled me up quickly so I was once again upright. His gaze dropped to my lips, and for one second I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to kiss him. To actually kiss him and not fight him off.
He looked away, averting my gaze and rearranged us into a new dance position. He pulled me closer to him, holding my hand in his, against his chest. There was so little space between us that I had no choice but to wrap my bad hand around his back hugging his shoulder to me. I pressed my face into his chest and was mesmerized by our hands that laid there beside me.
He leaned his head on top of mine and sighed quietly. I could feel his even breathing and the deep thudding of his heart beneath my was soothing, like a soft lullaby.
He moved gracefully to the rhythm of the music and helped me to sway with him around the room.
I watched our hands. It was amazing how beautiful they looked together. Ivory and copper: complementing each other. He was fiddling with my wolf charm with one of his fingers, stroking it with reverence. It really was beautiful, just like Jacob was beautiful. It was truly a thoughtful gift. It made sense though, because Jacob was thoughtful.
In fact, he was probably the most thoughtful person I knew. That was, when he wasn't infuriating me. And he certainly wasn't right now.
His finger swiped over the wolf once again and as it swished to the side his finger grazed the sensitive flesh of my wrist. He passed his finger over the area several times just smoothing the pad of his finger over my skin. The sensation was thrilling and reminded me of a time when he fell asleep on my couch and I had stroked his hair. A wave of nostalgia took me back there and I hummed at the memory of a time when things were much simpler between us.
The memories that flooded my mind, the swaying of our bodies, and the feel of his fingertip on my wrist made my body heat up. I felt close to Jacob, maybe a bit too close.
Without thinking about it I twisted my fingers so that they were interlocked with his. He gripped my fingers tight beneath his own as if holding me there, to him. I could feel his head moving slowly; it was coming closer to mine. His breathing picked up and suddenly he was right there. His face so was close to mine. If I just looked up he would be right there, looking at me with those deep, dark eyes that said so much since I had silenced his voice.
I couldn't look; I wouldn't. It would only make this situation more complicated than it already was. Instead I brought our hands closer. I dragged them over his chest trailing my fingers as I did so feeling the taut muscles beneath his t-shirt.
His shoulders slumped then as though he was giving in to me, resolved to do as I commanded. Though I didn't know what I would say, if given the chance to speak at all. In fact, I felt quite tongue tied.
I watched as his large fingers moved around mine feeling them reverently as though he loved every inch of me. My mind felt muddy, cloudy, but I didn't care. Everything else felt right. We felt right, in this moment. Together. I drew our hands to my mouth and pressed a kiss to one of his knuckles.
He exhaled heavily through his nose, and the sound made me feel weak in the knees. It also made me feel braver than I'd ever felt before. I purposefully sought out his index finger and brought it to my lips placing the tip of it in my mouth and sliding it back out to give it a kiss. He groaned deep within his chest and rubbed that same finger over my lips slowly as I kissed it repeatedly as softly as I could.
I dared to look at him then, tilting my head towards his. I smiled softly, but quickly removed the sentiment from my face once I took in Jacob's expression. His eyes looked fierce, dark, and full of longing. His lips parted momentarily, and I could see him warring with something in his mind. I knew exactly what he was warring with, because I was doing the same thing. But it just felt right. The moment, the mood, the closeness of our bodies just felt right, perfect even. It was the perfect moment for him to kiss me. It was the perfect moment for him to anything me. And I would have let him.
I nodded so minutely that I'm not sure he even saw it, but then his head was lowering. He was coming closer to me, to my lips. I wasn't scared. I wasn't angry. I was excited. I wanted this.
I faintly registered the change in the rhythm and beat of the music. I blinked once and it was enough to give me a glimpse of clarity. I looked to the side in panic away from Jacob's oncoming lips. It was then that I caught sight of Alice descending the stairs, her white skin glowing in the purple light.
"Alice!" I squeaked in relief pushing Jacob slightly away from me.
What was I thinking? What had I almost done? In my boyfriend's home? What was wrong with me?
To my relief, she looked right at me as soon as I called her name, despite the thudding bass that should have drowned my voice. I waved eagerly, and watched her face as she took in the sight of Jacob leaning over me. Her eyes narrowed.
But, before that reaction, her face was full of stress and fear. I bit my lip as she skipped to my side. Jacob leaned away from her with an uneasy expression. She put her arm around my waist.
"I need to talk to you," she murmured into my ear.
"Er, Jake, I'll see you later . . ." I mumbled as we eased around him.
I was such a mess and had just complicated matters more. I really needed a break from Jacob to get my head together, but it didn't seem like that break would come any time soon, nor did I really want it to. And that was clearly my problem. He wasn't deluded. I was, because I did want him and there was nothing I could do about it.
The rest of the evening was spent discussing Alice's vision, the oncoming army of vampires and what we could do to thwart their plans to eradicate me.
My life was so weird.
I also spent the majority of my time trying not to make eye contact with Jacob through all of this. I didn't need to make things any more awkward than they already were. I needed to show Jacob that Edward and I were a united front. We were together. And he could not change that. I fared pretty well as I stayed by Edward's side the rest of the night proving my point, yet somehow I'm sure that all Jacob would remember would be our almost kiss on the dance floor. I would remember it too.
Later that night Edward and I argued about whether or not I'd be there to watch the pack and the Cullens training. I won the argument, of course. Once things were settled, I snuggled into his chest resting my eyes before we had to go. I tried not to sleep, I really did, but as soon as my eyes were closed I found myself in a deep sleep. And then, I was kissing Jacob. He held me in a tight embrace on that dance floor, his arms wrapped around my back heating me with his body's natural temperature. My hands were in his hair tugging, trying to drag him closer to me, or to keep him there. I didn't want to let him go. But then he was pulling away from me and grimacing at me.
"I thought you didn't want this," he accused.
"I didn't. I . . ."
"You need to make up your mind, Bells," he finished and walked away, fading into the crowd of dancers.
My panic took over, and I followed him trying to find him but he was no where. I didn't want him to leave; I never wanted him to leave.
Just then Edward's words brought me from my sleep. "Are you sure you don't want to stay and sleep?"
I gave him a sour look. I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to give away the fact that I had been dreaming of Jacob in a less than innocent way. He took it as I intended – an answer to his question and looked a bit disappointed.
He sighed, and scooped me up in his arms before he jumped from my window.
He raced through the black, quiet forest with me on his back. He ran the way he did when it was just us, just for enjoyment, just for the feel of the wind in his hair. It was the kind of thing that, during less anxious times, would have made me happy. But this time, it didn't. I was too discombobulated to be happy. Everything in my life was up in the air and so unsettled. I was unsettled.
I needed to make a decision and soon. I couldn't keep lying to myself. I had to be truthful for Edward and for Jacob.
Jacob, ugh! Jacob.
Why did he have to be right? I hated that he was right. I was deluded. I was interested, and he knew it and ultimately it would hurt us all, perhaps even do more damage than a vampire army, but only time could tell.
Author's Note: While I admittedly used SM characters and lifted quotes from Eclipse, the rest of the words are mine – um, except for these: "It was the perfect moment for him to kiss me. It was the perfect moment for him to anything me." They were blatantly stolen from My So-Called Life. If you enjoyed that show as much as you enjoy Twilight you will love this nonsense http:/stuffwhitepeoplelike . com/2010/11/11/from-whiter-shades-of-pale-63-my-so-called-life/.
I initially wrote Run with Me for this contest, but quickly realized I wanted it to be a multi-chaptered fic. The breaks between chapters create the necessary suspense I wanted the story to have. Since multi-chap entries weren't an option based on the criteria for this contest I wrote this piece instead. I hope you enjoyed the missing scene. Feel free to check out my other stories if you have enjoyed this one. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Public voting begins February 8th. Vote for your favorite. For more information visit http:/forthereluctantreader . blogspot . com
You can find me on Twitter at purelyamuse or on my blog: purelyamuse dot blogspot dot com.