Rachel Berry is at Breadstix with Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce. ...Am I dreaming?

N. Puckerman woaaaaah, wat r u doing with satan nd Britt?

Rachel Berry They propositioned me to become a part of their... sexual endeavors.

N. Puckerman, Mike Chang, Kurt Hummel, Finn Hudson, and 9 others like this.

N. Puckerman .. this is... the best day of my life.

Rachel Berry I said no, Noah.

N. Puckerman WHAT? WHY!

Finn Hudson cuz she loves me :D

Rachel Berry likes this.

N. Puckerman *gags*

Rachel Berry Despite the fact that I rejected their offer, I think a beautiful friendship was formed.

And Finn, yes, very much 333

Finn Hudson likes this.

N. Puckerman Idc about ur fucking friendships unless sum1's gettin naked. and again: *gags*

Santana Lopez whatever, Berry. You'll sucCUMb to our charms eventually. No one can resist this (;

N. Puckerman, Sam Evans, Quinn Fabray, and 4 others like this.

Rachel Berry While I appreciate the advanced vocabulary word, Santana, I do not appreciate the lewd innuendo you have put out.


Santana Lopez having a sleepover with Rachel Berry tonight. I'm going to get her wasted and then corrupt her innocence (;

N. Puckerman, Sam Evans, Artie Abrams, Mike Chang, and 8 others like this.

N. Puckerman on my way over.

Santana Lopez fuck no, ur not. Berry's alllllllllllllll mine 2nite. (;

Quinn Fabray, Brittany Pierce, and 6 others like this.

Finn Hudson im not sure if i shud be jealous or turned on.

Mercedes Jones and Kurt Hummel like this.

Mike Chang Turned on, bro. Definitley turned on.

Kurt Hummel while you're at it, can u buy her some new clothes? PLEASE.

Mercedes Jones likes this.

Will Schuester Did you kids all forget that I'm your friend on here?

Santana Lopez oh, rite... Well, Schue: the kids of 2day say "wasted" as in CHOCOLATE WASTED. like, ice cream. and corrupt her innocence... well that just means fucking. Sorry, but that's not illegal.

N. Puckerman likes this


Santana Lopez ha, rachel really can't handle her liquor...

N. Puckerman, Quinn Fabray, and 4 others like this.


Santana Lopez HOLY FUCKIN DAMN. Rach just tongued me! and it was hot as hell. Pictures will be posted soon (;

N. Puckerman and 14 others like this

N. Puckerman holy shit. post it NOW.

Finn Hudson wait- does that mean she cheated on me? or duz it not count cuz ur a girl?

N. Puckerman post the damn picture, lopez.

Mike Chang that's. so. hot.

N. Puckerman satan, where's the fucking pic?

Quinn Fabray uh, mike, don't u think tina might be a lil bothered by u saying that?


Tina Cohen-Chang no, it doesn't bother me. I mean, it is hot. :D

N. Puckerman Holyfuckingdamn. If you dont fucking post the goddamn picture right. fucking. now. i'm gonna LOSE MY SHIT.

Kurt Hummel Uh, Tina... is there something you need to tell us?

N. Puckerman

Artie Abrams Well... Tina did sing "I Kissed A Girl" as her glee auditon song...

N. Puckerman u ovbiously don't no the meaning of "soon". it's been like... 15 minutes. I NEED THAT FUCKING PICTURE.

Brittany Pierce Oh, tina! you kiss girls? your pretty! u shud get in on sanny and i's sexual... auderves or whatever rachel called them

N. Puckerman Santana, stop fucking around. I'm about to die.

Mercedes Jones Its endeavors, Brit. Endeavors.

N. Puckerman I just fucking put my fist through a wall. This isn't a fucking joke, bitch. PUT UP MY PICTURE.

Sam Evans Santana, you should probably put up that picture before Puck ends up in Juvie again...

N. Puckerman how long does it take to put up a picture? like... two seconds? POST THE DAMN PICTURE, LOPEZ.

Matt Rutherford Dammit, why does all the good stuff happen once I leave?

Quinn Fabray, Mercedes Jones, Mike Chang, and 14 others like this.


Santana Lopez posted a photo

N. Puckerman, Sam Evans, Mike Chang, and 56 others like this.

N. Puckerman SO. WORTH. THE. WAIT.

Finn Hudson i decided on turned on.

Mercedes Jones Am I the only one who noticed where Rachel's hands are?

Kurt Hummel I think I just turned a little straight... *


N. Puckerman wudn't matter if she did, Rach... already saved on my computer, and my fone, and my mind.

Mike Chang oh wow. her hands r definitley under san's skirt. i think i might've just died.

Quinn Fabray ha, Antonia's ur middle name, San?

Santana Lopez shut the fuck up, Quinn GERTRUDE Fabray

Artie Abrams How are you discussing middle names when there is clearly a picture of RACHEL BERRY kissing SANTANA LOPEZ and her hands are UNDERNEATH HER SKIRT? Really...

Quinn Fabray Santana: fuck u. and artie: Uh, cuz I'm straight?

Tina Cohen-Chang I am as well, doesn't mean I can't appreciate two hot chicks making out :D

Rachel Berry I am disgusted by all of you. Really, disgusted. I'm also a bit confused as to how so many people like this when there are only 12 members of glee club.

N. Puckerman you're hot, rach. Get over it.

Santana Lopez and 6 others like this.


Santana Lopez changed her profile picture.

N. Puckerman, Quinn Fabray, and 17 others like this.

Rachel Berry Really, San? Your profile picture? Was that absolutely necessary.

Santana Lopez yes, yes it was.


Message (1)

From: Finn Hudson

To: Santana Lopez

Subject: Rachel

san, ik u and rach r like bff's now, but u can't tell her about us having sex last year, ok?

Message (1)

From: Santana Lopez

To: Finn Hudson

Subject: re:Rachel

listen, finnocence, I know Rachel. she'll be a little upset about us sleeping 2gether, but she'll be more upset about u lying about it. tell her. or i will.

Message (1)

From: Finn Hudson

To: Santana Lopez

Subject: re:re:Rachel

san, we both know u won't tell her. u value ur friendship too much nd she'll FLIP. ur not that brave.

Message (1)

To: Finn Hudson

From: Santana Lopez

Subject: re:re:re:Rachel

bad move, Hudson. Bad, bad, move.


Santana Lopez to Rachel Berry

Hey, rach, i need 2 talk to u about something.

Rachel Berry to Santana Lopez

I don't know why I am even conversing with you after you posted that utterly innapropriate photo, but... what's up?

Santana Lopez to Rachel Berry

it's kinda important... meet me in the choir room b4 school tm?

Rachel Berry to Santana Lopez

Of course :D


Rachel Berry is single.

N. Puckerman, Quinn Fabray, and 9 others like this.

Finn Hudson *dislike*

Rachel Berry You lost the right to dislike anything I do when you LIED to me.

N. Puckerman the fuck did u do, Frankenteen?

Santana Lopez I really am sorry, Rach...

Rachel Berry it's alright, San. We weren't friends at the time, and even if we were, Finn and I weren't together. I also wholly appreciate you telling me.

N. Puckerman Berry, what'd he do?

Quinn Fabray he told her that he was a virgin even tho he actually slept with Santana last year...

N. Puckerman the fuck, Hudson? Rlly? what wud u have done if she finally put out? made her think that it was both of ur first time? shit's fucked up.

Rachel Berry My thoughts exactly, Noah. Well, minus the crude language.

Finn Hudson ur one 2 talk, puck. all u do is hit & quit. sex means nuthing 2 u.

N. Puckerman there has nvr been a girl that didn't no the deal. they NO that it's not anymore than a 1 nite stand. i nvr make them think it's special or a relationship or anything like that, so shut the fuck up about things u don't now wat ur talking about.


Finn Hudson is any1 on my side?

Mercedes Jones no. die alone.


N. Puckerman is having a glee party at his house. and Finn Hudson isn't invited.

Will Schuester Puck... you shouldn't exclude anyone out of glee-related activities.

N. Puckerman fine, it's not a glee party. it's just a party where everyone at glee is invited except 4 finn.

Will Schuester Well, I guess that's alright then...

Finn Hudson Mr. Schue! ur supposed 2 be on my side!

Will Schuester Sorry, Finn. I know I'm not supposed to get involved but what you did to Rachel was messed up.

Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez, and 9 others like this.

Rachel Berry While I appreciate the sentiment, there is no need to exclude him just for my benefit.

Mike Chang it's not 4 ur benefit, Rach. We're all mad at Finn. none of us want 2 see him.

Rachel Berry aww, thank you :3


Rachel Berry is in an open relationship with Santana Lopez

Quinn Fabray, N. Puckerman, Mike Chang, and 39 others like this.

Quinn Fabray what!

Artie Abrams Is this real? Or is it just like one of those girl things...

Rachel Berry It's real.

Mercedes Jones O!M!G!

Rachel Berry It really is not a big deal, you guys. In the future, during my Broadway career, I will have to do many different things. One of those things may be playing some sort of character who has feelings for another woman... Therefore, Santana and I have decided to embark on a sexual relationship that is not resulted out of our feelings, however, but pure lust. Well, lust on her end. Desire to climb up in life on mine. It is unexclusive however. Due to the fact that we do not have romantic feelings for eachother, nor do we want to leave out all of Santana's other... liasons. Therefore See More

Mike Chang ...whaaa?

Santana Lopez basically, we're fuck buddies (;

Rachel Berry Santana, you know that I abhor that word!

N. Puckerman wait- so satan popped Berry's cherry?

Santana Lopez well, technically yes. But clinically, no. I'll leave the actual cherry popping all for you. (; (; (;

Rachel Berry I do not appreciate the lewd terminology that you two have used to discuss something as important as losing my virginity...

Santana Lopez aww, come on Rachie... Don't be such a buzzkill.

Rachel Berry Please do not call me "Rachie".

Santana Lopez you certainly didn't seem to mind when I was screaming it last night.

Rachel Berry What are you talking about? We did not even have intercourse last night?

N. Puckerman even tho rach just said "intercourse", i'm still turned on... and aww come on, don't ruin our fun. we're just the awesomeness that is pucktana.

Mercedes Jones OH lord, white boy. Pucktana? really?

Rachel Berry that's just... bad. I think I might like Finchel better than that. And Finchel was just... ugh.

Finn Hudson wow, rach. i turned u in2 a dyke now? sorry.

Rachel Berry Finn, I cannot believe you would ever say something like that considering your step brother and my two dads are both homesexual. That word is extremely offensive. Furthermore, you did drive me to date Santana but it did not have anything to do with her gender. You were just such a bad lover, that I was left unsatisfied and had to go to someone that I knew could. Even when Santana and I aren't having sex, she can still satisfy me.

Santana Lopez, N. Puckerman, Mercedes Jones, and 5 others like this.

N. Puckerman i wud tell finn to shut the fuck up, but it seems like rachel can handle herself...

Santana Lopez fuck yes! i ROCK UR WORLD, RACHIE. just say so.


A/N: So, yes, this was OOC. but it's also sort of... not. I don't know. I bet you weren't expecting the Pezberry huh? Don't worry, they really don't have any feelings for eachother other than sexually. Now I know the summary says unrelated but this was getting too damn long. The next one WILL progress to puckleberry. review! oh and the just turned a little staright comment came from the lovely You Hear But You Don't Listen in her fic "What They Didn't Say". it's amazing. go read it. now.