He was certain there had never before been such a waste of paper.

It was drivel. Scrawls of misshapen letters interspersed with disproportionate pictograms. Fairy princesses and an orphan girl locked in prison, only to be rescued by a blonde angel and a man that looked far too much like the father she could not possibly remember. It was the poor quality of the writing that turned his stomach, he was sure. Drivel and blatant ingratitude.

Stifling a snort of derision, the judge drained the last of his wine and threw the manuscript into the fire, turning back to the overdue paperwork on his desk.

When eight-year old Johanna walked in the room to bid him goodnight and found his birthday present curling, blackening, disintegrating, she knew exactly how much her father loved her.


She was certain there had never before been such a waste of time. She might as well try to cross the Alps on a pack mule. Wearing nothing but a nightgown. And the pack mule would be blind. And deaf. And have no legs. And it would be winter. Because she was more likely to wind up in Switzerland with a big 'ol grin on her face than ever, ever compete with Lucy in Mr. Todd's mind.

But that didn't mean she wasn't going to try.


He was certain there had never before been such a waste of beauty.

Watching her bustle around the kitchen, slathered in honey, soot, and flour, was like seeing a string of pearls lying in the muddy banks of the Thames. When she would push her hair out of her face and smear jam across her forehead and into her fiery locks, he would see a wine stain on a wedding dress. She would sing a sailor's drinking song with a voice like an angel, and he would hear Mozart on an out of tune violin.

He longed to peel back the layers of mud and indifference, to comb her hair and clean her dress and wash her skin until it shone. He wished to find the beauty she held close to her more-than-ample chest like a court secret.

But in the end, he chose the polished gem, the flawless, transparent diamond, and there were no surprises.

A/N: Well, this is the last one. For now, at least. I don't have any more written in advance, so unless the oneshot bug bites me, we'll call this complete. Which isn't to say it'll stay that way forever, but it won't be regularly updated. However, I hope this went out with a bang. It's a tri-drabble, at least, which is kind of fun. xD And it's my personal favourite, which is why I saved it for last.

it was based on the writing prompt given to me by my friend Haley: "He/she was certain there had never before been such a waste of (insert word here)." and this is what happened.

Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it. Also, I'm kind of gauging some interest here - so if you guys wouldn't mind giving me a yea or a nay, it might be helpful.

I do have a little storehouse of writing left over, but most of it is alternate universe and/or Nellie/OC. (in particular, Freddie from my fic ITDBY.) It's a fun little pairing I've been playing around with for a while and it's grown into its own universe - so I guess the question is, would any of you be interested in reading some Nellie/Freddie or AU drabbles/oneshots? Or would that be better left between me, myself, I, and the four or five fans the pairing has already? haha. Let me know. If people seem interested, I'll post it. If they don't... well, I might post it anyway. We'll see. xD But I'll be more likely if there's any interest.

Alrighty. Thank again for the reviews! Peace out. ^^