And Your Ego, That's The Best Part

Disclaimer: I don't own BBT, obviously

AN: 50 word prompts and 50 scenes. This is slash, don't like don't read. Spoilers for a lot of episodes...

Pairings: Sheldon/Leonard, some Leonard/Penny


1. Peculiar

It's strange; Leonard doesn't know why he accepts the room, even after being warned away by two people and seeing death threats on the wall. But he stays anyway.

2. Endless

Sheldon never stops talking. On and on, words fall carelessly from his mouth, as though he's scared his voice might run out at any minute and he wants to say as much as he can before it does.

3. Wrong

"Leonard," Sheldon says as he looks over his friend's shoulder, sighing slightly, "You're completely wrong on several of your central points."

Usually Leonard would be annoyed by the criticism, but he's surprised that he isn't so irritated by it today.

4. Confused

Penny doesn't know why Howard and Raj bother to continue spending time with Sheldon even though he winds them up so much. "It's because we like Leonard," they say when she asks, and it makes her wonder why Leonard is bothering, too.

5. Theoretical

"In theory," Sheldon says one night, as they waste time watching Battlestar Galactica, "we are much closer emotionally than you and Penny could ever hope to become." Leonard doesn't know what to say to that.

6. Balloon

When Sheldon returns from collecting the mail downstairs, he opens the door to reveal the apartment covered in balloons of all colours. He glares at Leonard, who stands unashamed in the middle of the novelty ocean. "Don't blame me," he shrugs, "I found them in the cupboard; you must have bought them."

7. Oranges

"There are plenty of differences between oranges and tangerines!" Sheldon rants. "For starters, only one tastes good on chicken." Leonard just laughs.

8. Irony

Leonard absolutely loves it when Sheldon answers his questions with, "You're boring me."

9. Boredom

He's wanted Penny for so long, but he's surprisingly bored when he finally has her, and he starts to spend more time just back at his apartment, watching TV with his roommate.

10. Learning

Leonard is slightly worried that if he spends too much time listening to Sheldon's "fascinating facts", his head will be so crowded with useless information he won't remember how to breathe. In retrospect, that wouldn't be the worst way to die.

11. Sarcasm

"Oh, gee, Sheldon," Leonard snaps, "I agree, my work is completely useless! I like it when you tell me what a waste of money my research is! It's wonderful living with you- and your ego, that's the best part!"

Sheldon looks mildly hurt, and Leonard hates how good at spotting sarcasm the spindly physicist is becoming.

12. Storm

It's rare that storms hit Pasadena, so Leonard's never had to tell anyone they positively terrify him. He is surprised when Sheldon doesn't judge him, and agrees that yes, storms harbour many dangers.

13. Animals

"We're not getting a cat," Sheldon states. "It's a hard enough task looking after you."

14. Tired

His new longer shifts at the University make Sheldon look exhausted, and Leonard has to stop himself when he realises he's considering hugging him, like Leonard always does when Penny's beat from work.

15. Argument

He can't stop taking out his problems and insecurities on Penny, over and over in a never-ending battle and succession of rows. He doesn't know why, but suddenly the chase doesn't seem like it was worth the prize.

16. Notice

"I notice you and Penny are reaching the end of your incompatible relationship," Sheldon announces, after a particularly massive quarrel between the couple. "I trust social protocol dictates I inform you that I am 'here for you', in case you need someone to assist in your impending 'emotional turmoil', as I believe it is called."

Leonard finds the gesture vaguely romantic, but he doesn't pursue that thought.

17. Wind

Sheldon sighs as he takes a glance at the weather forecast on the television. "I can understand your aversion to bad weather, Leonard. It certainly is taking a turn for the worst; I lost some highly important papers in the wind yesterday."

18. Social

Sometimes Leonard wonders how Sheldon would get by without him, and the thought of him being utterly alone makes Leonard feel something like pity.

19. Painful

To Leonard, watching Leslie attack Sheldon every single lunchtime with another sarcastic comment is starting to lose its comedic value. It's actually starting to annoy him.

20. Xoanon

"The name for wooden carvings of a God is Xoanon," Sheldon says, with his smug smile- another of his 'fascinating facts'. He tilts his head to the side in thought. "It's a shame my mother's Christian God doesn't approve of homosexuality, don't you think?"

Leonard has no idea how to reply to that.

21. Hold

"It's always confused me why couples hold hands," Sheldon admits. "It's incredibly unhygienic, and is a meaningless exercise."

Leonard looks down at his hand entwined with Penny's, and almost nods in agreement.

22. End

It's no surprise to anyone when Penny breaks up with Leonard. The irony is, he really does love her. Sheldon pats his shoulder once in an attempt to be supportive, and it really does make Leonard feel better.

23. Dream

Leonard wakes up screaming, but he doesn't know why, and all he knows is that Sheldon is now awake too, crying, "Danger! Danger!" at the disturbance. It's oddly comforting.

24. Eternal

Howard snickers as he says, "Girls will come and go, but you do realise you'll be stuck with Sheldon... forever?"

To his surprise, Leonard is completely calm and says, "Yeah, I know."

25. Maybe

Whenever the two attended University galas and met new people, it was almost a running joke that Leonard had to explain they're not a couple. But recently, when a woman asked, "Oh, so you two are together then?" Leonard bites his lip and says, "Maybe."

26. Romantic

"I am not an expert in relationships, but I believe if Raj and Howard changed their bond from platonic to romantic, they might do very well," Sheldon says.

"So might we," Leonard says, and Sheldon takes it as a joke and does his little wheezy laugh.

27. Deal

"What the hell is your deal?" Penny demands, waving around a chopstick. "Girls? Guys? A bit of both? A bit of both in one person? What is it?"

Sheldon raises an eyebrow. "I don't see the point in anything other than friendships, and even they confuse me at times. But if I had to choose an ideal mate, I suppose it would be someone like Leonard."

Raj chokes on his food.

28. Cooking

"Today is Anything Can Happen Thursday, right?" Leonard asks. "So why don't we try cooking our own dinner instead of buying take-out food for once?" He holds up a cookbook, grinning.

29. Gift

"Happy birthday, Leonard," Sheldon says. He hasn't bought him anything for a present, but it's the thought that counts.

30. Manners

It doesn't matter that he doesn't understand the social conventions. It matters that he takes the time to follow them, and make everyone's life easier.

31. Kiss

There's not much to it, really. Leonard crawls home drunk after trying to forget another failed relationship, sees Sheldon's been waiting up for him, and kisses him. It's not a reciprocated kiss, but it's not rejected either.

32. Hangover

"What the hell happened last night?" Leonard groans, practically dragging himself into the living room when he wakes up in the morning. The alcohol obliterated his recollection of the previous nightfall. Sheldon's eye twitches as he remembers with his eidetic memory what occurred, but regardless he replies "Nothing happened."

33. Advice

"Penny. Penny. Penny."

"...Actually, now I think about it, I don't think you would understand."

"Understand what?"

"Well, judging by your track record, you don't understand the concept of a lasting relationship, so-"

She slams the door in his face before he can finish.

34. Change

Leonard wonders why Sheldon's starting to full-out argue with him, rather than just bicker over sci-fi franchises. He thought Sheldon hated arguments.

35. Heal

It takes a while for things to settle, but he knows things are back to normal when Sheldon expects Leonard to back him up during an argument with Kripke.

36. Beauty

"I don't believe the concept of beauty applies just to females, as you seem to think it does," Sheldon says one night, after Howard has been gushing about his new infatuation with one of the models on a TV show. "It can apply to artwork, buildings, plants, males and personalities."

37. Early

He wakes up earlier than he usually does, just to spend some more time with his Doctor-Who obsessed roommate. This is something he's never bothered to do before.

38. Contrast

It's confusing how one minute he can be impressed by Sheldon's knowledge, and the next minute infuriated by his arrogance.

39. Understanding

"I understand better than you think," Sheldon says, after Leonard sighs that nobody understands just how awful his mother was. "My childhood was indeed awful, but my life is much better now, considering the more pleasing social group I find myself in now."

40. Suited

"I've been saying it for a while now. We are extremely well suited for each other. Must you complain constantly about women?"

41. Empty

Leonard's worried that, if he does make a move, the relationship will run dry and quickly becoming boring, repetitive and ridden with arguments, just like it had when he dated Penny.

42. Science (I)

Leonard calls out his name, and Sheldon emerges from under his desk, knocking over stacks of papers on theories and research. "What do you want? As you can see, I'm very busy."

43. Science (II)

"I just wanna ask you a question. What... does love mean... to you?" Leonard asks. "A chemical imbalance in the brain," Sheldon replies, after a moment of thinking.

44. Love

If it really is just chemistry, and love can be brushed off as a neurological ailment of some sort, then what he had with Penny really wasn't that much at all.

45. Pleasing

"That's not to say it isn't a pleasant imbalance," Sheldon is quick to correct him. "Though personally I haven't experienced such a thing, I am informed that love is a rather satisfying ailment to suffer from."

46. Compare

Raj raises an eyebrow when Leonard jokingly says "Honey, I'm home!" as he enters the apartment. Haroon and Tanvir operate on very similar greetings.

47. Admit

"You were right," Leonard wails. "All those times. I know you just mean it in a factual, purely scientific manner, but we are a perfect match. It's not fair, I know it should have been Penny."

48. Sort

"Mr Cooper, I have noticed you displaying an increase in adrenaline recently, when you are in certain situations concerning my son," Beverly tells him. "I want you to know I believe him to be the sort that would not be adverse to trying such a relationship as the one you would be suggesting."

49. Handle

Maybe he's going insane (and he has considered that possibility), but he's starting to think it wouldn't be so bad. He can handle it, he thinks.

50. Work

"It can work," Leonard says, but he's trying to convince himself as much as he's trying to convince Sheldon.

"I know it can," Sheldon says, launching into one of his matter-of-fact speeches. "You see, studies conducted by-"

Their second kiss is instigated purely to get Sheldon to shut up.


The end