A/N: A new story. I hope all Gilmore Girls fans reading this enjoys. I'm not writing Gilmore centric here, mainly because I'm trying to explore characters the show didn't explore too well. so, not too much Stars Hallow, Lorelai, Luke, Emily or Richard. They only make cameo appearances. This is mostly Rory and Logan centric.
Warnings! Minor language and Character Death will appear in this story.
To my child,
I really have no idea what to call you, really, so I guess the easiest thing to call you is 'Kid'. I only found out three weeks ago that I was pregnant and it hasn't fully set in yet. You're too small for me to know if you are a boy or girl yet and I haven't even considered a name for you, sorry. Your father would have a list of them already, if he knew, and I would laugh or reject them. He has a flair for that. Unfortunately I haven't told him about you. That is in no way due to my lack of trying. Believe me, Kid, I tried so many different ways. I called his cell and left voice mails for him to call me back but he hasn't answered. I emailed him and even wrote him a letter through snail mail, but still no answer. I think he's still mad at me for turning down his proposal but really, the all-or-nothing thing really bugged me. Who does that? Say marry me or its over? We were together for three years, I guess he expected us to get married then, everyone did. But I just needed to figure some things out first. And it's not like we had the perfect relationship and didn't love each other. You have to understand, we did-do. I know that you may doubt that one day. I certainly did with my parents. Mom and Dad always had this complected relationship and they didn't mean for it to hurt me, but it did.
Anyway, I promise to be the best mom and I had the best example. Your grandmother is amazing and I don't have to tell you, you'll know that for sure yourself. She had me very young and always managed to make sure that I had everything that I needed without any intervention from her parents. She left their house with me and ended up in Stars Hallow, where she pestered the owner of the Independence Inn for a job, any job, to support me. And for dramatic effect, she had me, perfectly visible, in her arms. She worked her way up from being a maid living in the potting shed to running the place. She taught me everything about life and I'll most likely be the same with you. If my mom could do it at sixteen, alone, and with no job skills then so can I at twenty-two with a Yale degree in journalism even if I'm currently unemployed.
Oh I had a job. The dream. I was going to cover the campaign of Barack Obama. But when I found out that I was pregnant, that went out the window. Hugo couldn't have a pregnant woman covering things on minimal salary and living from cheep hotel room to cheep hotel room and traveling on a bus. That, and your birth will coincide with the campaigns heating up, the start of the primary season. I didn't need to be out doing the most difficult part of my job nine months pregnant or just having a kid.
So I lost that job, but even with Hugo letting me go, I probably wouldn't have stayed long. I need to take care of you in a stable environment. Now if only I could get a hold of your dad. I refuse to go to his parents. Mitchum might offer me money to have an abortion, I don't know, it just seems like something he would do. That would be your dad's dad. He reminds me of my dad's father.
I only met Straub once and he managed to make me feel smaller than a pebble. He blamed me and my mom for ruining his plans for Dad and even sixteen years later, he was still bitter about it. I have no doubt that your dad's family would feel the same way. See, your dad walked away from the life they planned for him and moved to California and they never liked me much either, they would no doubt be unhappy about you, I can just see it. I can just hear Mitchum and Elias ranting about how if it wasn't for me then your dad would still be with the family company like Straub shouting that how Mom having me instead of getting an abortion ruined Dad's life and how Dad was supposed to go to Princeton and that all Hayden men attended Princeton blah blah blah. If I have it my way, they will never do that around you.
From now on, you are my first priority. I'm going to make sure that you want for nothing and give you the security and stability that you need. I'll be there for everything and be your pal. I'll be the person you run to, the one you can count on. I'll give you the freedom to make your decisions once you prove yourself capable. There will be nothing that you can't do or be. I promise.
your MomP.S. I'm sitting here with a copy of Dashiell Hammett's The Thin Man-your dad left it behind-in my lap and I'm flipping through it while I write this and I think I have some ideas on what to call you. Tell me what you think later on.