This story is told primarily from Edward's POV, but Bella's POV is thrown in from time to time. Stephenie Meyer inspired these characters...


I sat impatiently and watched as the mass of my Molecular Physics class completely fucked up their finals. The cute red haired girl in front of me for some reason believed that if she hit the clear button on her TI-83 calculator enough that perhaps by osmosis she wouldn't be such a dumb fuck.

Well she was.

I stared at the clock.

Remind me to ask these assholes how they got into Dartmouth University in the first place. Did I not get the memo that this was a fucking clown college?

Come the fuck on!

"Alright everyone time is up; pass your exam packets and blue books forward, and have a great break."

The whole class grumbled while I jumped up and threw my test at the back of dumb fucks head. She was pissed for a second so I flashed her a smile and all was forgiven.

I am the man!

I burst out of the old stone building and into the crisp New Hampshire winter air. I was now officially on Christmas break, and free to head home to Forks and fuck the daylights out of Tanya Denali. Yippee!

Now Tanya Denali was not just any lay.

She was the lay.

The once in a lifetime, never have another like it lay.

She plays fucking strippers in music videos and has a tattoo on her ass!


And I get to fuck her.

Well at least I hope I do…

My brother Emmett better not be shitting me, or my lifelong dream of fucking a hot chick in a music video will be shattered. Emmett is the starting quarterback at USC. Suffice it to say he gets a lot of chicks. And he doesn't get just chicks, but mad hot playboy material chicks. His current girlfriend Rosalie Hale is a prime example. No words can accurately describe her hotness. Calling her a leggy blonde with a tight body and a massive rack does her a great disservice. She is Claudia Schiffer meets Marilyn Monroe meets Britney Spears when she was still hot.

And Tanya Denali is her best friend.

Granted I've never actually seen Tanya or said music video, but Emmett swears she's just as hot as Rosalie and dying to meet me.


It may seem by the way I'm talking that I don't get a lot of play here at Dartmouth…and that is just not true. Chicks dig me; they always have. I have that Gucci model slash starving artist who just crawled out of bed thing going on, and I have always used it to my advantage. I pretty much have girls crawling all over me here.

But they are smart sophisticated Dartmouth girls, not fake tits Tanya Denali.

It's just a general rule of thumb that smart girls are less hot and less flexible than dumb girls. And while I've fucked my fair share of smart inflexible girls this semester, I'm ready for the real deal.

The sure thing.

My Volvo was parked on the east side of campus. I packed it ahead of time so that once finals ended I could get the fuck out of New Hampshire and home to Tanya as soon as possible.

I was skipping towards my car with a shit eating grin on my face when I heard her.

Bella Swan.

What the FUCK does she want?

"Edward! Please stop running I need to talk to you!" She screamed at me while chasing me across campus lugging a red leather suitcase. I considered ignoring her completely and getting in my car and driving away…but like a douche bag I stopped.

She was stumbling toward me; her face flushed and pink. It was always flushed. She was dressed like a hobo on Christmas, and appeared to have not brushed her hair in weeks…Typical Bella.

"Swan," I greeted her coldly.

"Cullen," she snapped back.

We stood in silence and glared at each other like only mortal enemies could. Well she wasn't technically my mortal enemy. I could give a shit what she does. But, I was certainly hers, so I played her game.

Apparently I stole her spot as Valedictorian in high school. To this day I don't know what kind of twisted logic she used to come to that conclusion, but needless to say her little reindeer sweater wearing ass hated me.

It's not my fault that she studied nine hours a day while I partied…I'm just smarter than she is. Fuck I'm smarter than practically everyone here at this prestigious Ivy league institution. My brain is a priceless treasure. I should get it fucking insured, not have little ass Bella Swan all up in my shit for "stealing" something that was rightfully mine.

"Well what the hell do you want Swan?" I asked to the top of her head; she was staring at her feet. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her little body. She was nervous.

Oh this should be good.

"I need a ride to Forks," she answered in a huff, her big brown eyes rolling in her head.

"You need a ride…to Forks?" I asked skeptically. This chick hated me and she was asking to spend the next three days and nights alone with me in a car and motels?

Bella paused for a second and took a deep breath. It appeared as if she was trying to gain some composure before she attempted to strangle me. "Look…my plans for break fell through. And it costs over $775 to fly to Seattle over the holidays. I don't have $775. My father is going to put me on a Greyhound if I can't find another means of transportation. I could get raped, or stabbed, or lice on a Greyhound…so?"

I saw a hint of a tear beginning to form in her eyes. She was obviously not happy about this little conundrum she found herself in. I had two options for how I should proceed. Option one being laugh in her face and drive away. Option two? Drive the tacky little whiner home.

I looked back at her. She was shivering despite the ridiculous amount of clothing she was wearing. She always wore these sweaters that were hideous and huge and big puffy jackets that made her look twice her size. She had this ugly knit hat on that was sort of a faded plum color…and combat boots!

The truth of the matter is that Bella was probably the prettiest girl in my high school class, but no one ever noticed because she dressed like a militant grandmother, never brushed her hair, and walked around with a stick up her ass.

But she was crying and I was wasting valuable time standing there talking to her.

"Get in," I said with a sigh as I gestured toward the passenger door.

Bella rolled her eyes at me. "Thank you," she huffed. "I'll help pay for gas, and you just keep to yourself and leave me alone okay?" She said with way too much attitude. Seriously, who does this girl think she is?


That was the thing about Bella. She was always just a bitch to me for no reason. I've decided that the Valedictorian thing is not a legitimate reason to hate me. She should be a graceful loser and get the fuck over it and not carry a grudge around.

I decided to shrug her off. She had always been an irrational brat; I didn't see that changing now. "My car, my rules," I said under my breath just loud enough for her to hear.

My gut was telling me that this was a really bad idea because Bella hated me and quite frankly she was not one of my favorite people. The only reason I agreed to driving her home was because if she did get raped, stabbed, or lice, I didn't want it on my conscience. I had big plans for break that didn't include limp dick because Bella Swan got raped on a Greyhound bus.

Once we were on the highway, the silence in the car was getting unbearable. Bella just sat with her arms crossed with the ever present stick up her ass and said nothing. When I agreed to driving her I wasn't sure exactly how the conversation would go between us, but I never figured that we wouldn't speak at all.

I decided to break the ice. Talking to her had to be better than awkward silence right?

"So how did your finals go?" I asked innocently, a completely safe and neutral question.

Bella laughed under her breath and turned her head to me. A wicked smile was on her face and I braced myself for the wrath. "Oh please Cullen. You are seriously going to try to make small talk with me?" Bella responded with a maniacal laugh.

I had always prided myself on being a confident person. I was never intimidated by anyone. But Bella was doing a good job.

"I'm pretty sure I aced all of mine," I said confidently, deciding to continue the conversation without her.


Again, she didn't respond. She just readjusted herself in her seat so she was sitting even farther away from me, shielding her face with her hair; which smelled really good by the way, despite the fact that it was a mess. She always smelled good, one of her few redeeming qualities. Most girls who dress like her smell like grease and stale patchouli. Bella smelled like fruit and flowers.

Oh hell…

"I'm sure you did great Bella. You are a very intelligent girl," I said to the back of her head, once again trying to get something resembling a conversation going. Three days! I had to do this for three days! Something had to give.

After a long pause, she muttered, "Thanks," in response.

Then it was silent again.

I decided not to bug her anymore. Something about me clearly rubbed her the wrong way and I was not the type of guy to work for a girls attention. I had Tanya Denali waiting for me at home. I could give a shit whether little Bella Swan liked me or not.

After about an hour of silence I was really fucking bored. Normally, if Bella Swan were not in my car, I would have sparked a joint and rocked out to Zeppelin at full volume. But alas, Bella was in my car, and I was bored as hell. God knows if she had ever smoked pot, and I was not about to find out. She's the type of chick that would rat me out to the cops and then laugh about it. I wasn't about to test her.

So instead I silently pointed to my i-pod dock and nodded to Bella to pick what she wanted. She gave me a weak half smile and started scrolling through it.

She chose Neil Young. Not as cool as Zep mind you, but an overall solid choice. Good road music, nothing offensive, and a true classic.

Harvest Moon began playing and Bella seemed to relax a bit. Good old Neil had that affect on people. She almost looked peaceful staring out the window with the sun shining on her face, the stick removed slightly.

But I knew I couldn't trust it to last long, because she is bat shit crazy of course.

AN- To be continued. I just wanted to give a taste.

This story was written in an attempt to clear some writers block I'm having with my other story. I needed something a little lighter and a lot less angsty than The Boy in the Water. Also, I wanted to do an EPOV, and I always love AH fics where Edward is a bit of a dick. He is, as you can see, lol.

Hope you enjoy.