Wow! Sorry this is so late, but I wanted to do it right, and in length it's equivalent to like 4 of my regular chapters, so I haven't actually been slacking…I just wrote A LOT. Enjoy!
Chapter 21
EPOV
December 23rd
I hissed, "Here give me your leg," gripping one hand to the headrest of Bella's truck, and the other to her calf, trying to find a better angle.
Bella's leg flung over my shoulder. "Good. Yes, that's soo good," she moaned as my dick inched deeper into her tight wetness, sending a fucking shiver up my spine.
Awesome.
We were parked in the woods about 200 yards from Newton's, fogging up the cabin, and taking advantage of her lunch break.
"Feel good?" I asked as I found a rhythm.
"Uh huh."
"Want me to go faster?"
Bella found my eyes. "No," she moaned. "Let's make this last a little."
I laughed at Bella's request, remembering some of our rush jobs over the past week. This time, she wanted to enjoy it, and frankly so did I, so I slowed down. I stopped my fast hammer like thrusts and took Bella's soft swollen lower lip into my mouth, and eased in and out of her tight contorted body slowly…feeling every movement…roaming my hands under all of the layers of clothing covering her, and finding the warm skin of her back.
"That better?" I asked as I began to really feel our new pace, gripping my hands around Bella's shoulder blades.
"Much," she breathed, lifting her mouth to kiss me.
But before long Bella started to squeeze me and it suddenly felt like I was fucking a vacuum, and I was going to come if she didn't stop it. "Stop squeezing," I hissed lightly into her mouth, trying to keep it cool and last for her.
"Why?" Bella whimpered.
"I'm going to come too fast," I breathed.
Then Bella let out a little laugh and her soft hand pushed back my sweaty hair. "Then come," she smiled, "And I'll come too."
I didn't realize she was so close, but she was, and when I came, so did she. We were good like that or something. We had the sex thing figured out.
While we were getting cleaned up, breathless and sweaty, I was helping Bella into her boots and noticed something on her middle finger that I had never seen before. It was a silver ring, with a swan carved into it.
I grabbed her hand to examine it. "I've never seen you wear a ring before. Is this new?" I asked.
Bella looked up at me. "Yeah, my mom got it for me for Christmas," she sighed, sort of rolling her eyes. "I called her to thank her." The smile on her face and the tone in her voice told me she was happy about that.
"See what did I tell you?" I said with a triumphant smile, pulling her hand to my lips and kissing it. I knew she needed to fix things with her mom. Bella wasn't good at holding a grudge, it got really messy when she did.
Bella inched her way onto my lap in the passenger seat. "She wants to come for parent's weekend in the spring and meet you," she said softly, smiling at me and stroking my jaw.
"You told her about me huh?"
"Maybe."
"You did…You so did," I laughed, laying a kiss on her temple.
"I did," Bella sighed. "Of course I did."
"I can't wait to meet the infamous Renee," I said. "We'll be roommates then," I winked. "Hope she doesn't mind?"
"We will," Bella smiled sort of dreamily, her fingers always playing with the whiskers on my jaw. "But as you know she's a flooze, so she won't care," she shrugged. "It's Charlie that we're going to have to work on."
"Maybe it's better if he never finds out," I smiled, giving Bella one last squeeze before the dreaded time check. It was past 1:00, and she was already late. My heart sunk a little. "Let's get you back to work," I breathed, truly scared to leave her and go home. Mom would be home later, and Bella was the best and only distraction I had from letting the absolute puke inducing nerves of her arrival completely overtake me.
Then as if on cue, Bella's warm lips were on my cheek soothing me, like she knew. "I'll be over as soon as I can. It's going to be great," she cooed, kissing my cheek again. "I love you"
"I love you too."
And before I was ready, Bella got back to work at Newton's, and I went home.
Carlisle was there, and it was the first time I had seen him in days. He was standing in the kitchen, staring at about ten huge red plants sitting on the island. I walked up behind him, and he must have sensed me there.
"I asked the florist specifically for white poinsettias, and they sent red. She likes white," he said blankly.
I stepped closer. "You did the best you could dad," I whispered, trying to convey to him that I was on his side, whatever that meant. If Mom couldn't handle a few red poinsettias, than screw her. That's what I really wanted to say.
And maybe Carlisle heard me, subconsciously or something, because his head nodded and he turned to me, finding my eyes. "I try so hard to make her happy. I just want her to be happy," he said, like he was answering my unspoken objection, like he was explaining to me why year after year he bent over backwards for a woman who bailed on us.
He wanted her to be happy.
And maybe a couple of weeks ago I would have told Carlisle that he was fucking loser, and to grow a pair. But just like that, I understood where he was coming from.
So, the new me put my hand on my dad's shoulder, making contact with him in a way I rarely did. "She's lucky to have you Dad," I said, squeezing my hand one time over the wool of his sweater, making sure he felt what I was trying to do…trying to say really.
Carlisle just watched my hand, and then moved his blue eyes to meet mine again. "Thank you Edward. Thank you Son," he said.
I dropped my hand, and gave him a weak smile. "Sure."
Carlisle smiled too. "They say she's doing well," he said a bit lighter, sounding hopeful.
I held my tongue. They always said she was doing well, but that was never true. My mother ended up in the ER the last time they said she was doing well. She came home for my high school graduation and as I walked to the podium to give my Valedictorian speech, I looked for my parents, and they weren't there. They were at the hospital because my mom had found Emmett's pain killers from when he busted his knee in a game.
She lost a child, something that had happened since time and memoriam to women from all over the world and somehow they survived it…but not Esme Cullen; no, not her. It was getting to the point where it just seemed like shit or get off the pot time. Like, if she pulled another stunt like taking Em's meds, were we going to forgive her again? Were we going to decorate the house again next year and cry over poinsettias?
Yeah, yeah we probably were. Fuck who was I kidding?
I smiled at Carlisle. "I hope she is doing well Dad. I really do," I said.
"Thanks Edward."
Ding…ding…ding…
The sound of the doorbell shook us from our bonding moment, which seemed to be happening more and more lately. A few more of them and Carlisle and I would be on a prescription drug commercial high fiving and riding bikes in the desert together.
"Who could that be?" Carlisle asked, seeming pretty certain he wasn't expecting anybody yet.
I went for the door, and as I pulled it open, I knew who it was before I even saw her. She knew I needed her, and there she was. "I asked for the afternoon off," Bella smiled. "I hope that's ok?"
Without hesitation, I pulled her into me. "Thank you," I whispered, kissing her plum hat. "Thank you."
As I held Bella in the doorway, Carlisle made his way over, smiling. "Oh, if it isn't my favorite trauma patient!" he called, peaking at Bella through my arms.
"Hi Dr. Cullen," she smiled, wiggling away from me to shake my dad's hand.
He didn't shake her hand though…he took her into a hug, a big one. The smile on his face and the way he was hugging her was like an unspoken thank you to her…and I got it. He knew what my new attitude was about, and who to thank for it…He knew.
When he released her, he sent her back to me and looked to both of us happily. "I was just going to get started on dinner," he shrugged, and I could tell Carlisle was ready to put on his brave face and get on with the afternoon, no more fretting over fucking flowers. All that was left to do was be hopeful.
"I can do that," Bella volunteered, offering her expertise in the kitchen. "I'm a surprisingly good cook," she laughed.
Which was true, so I agreed, giving her arm a thankful pinch. "Yeah Dad, let us help you? You look exhausted," I said.
"I insist," Bella added.
Carlisle thought it over, and then nodded to us. "Well if you insist," he agreed. "I would like to get a nap in before your mother arrives."
"Done," I smiled, happy to help, and seeing in the purple pillows under my dad's eyes that a nap was definitely necessary.
I liked the idea of helping him, it wasn't something I offered to do very often…or ever until recently. Then I realized Bella made the actual offer…and then I realized there was still so much more I could learn from her.
So with an internal laugh, I reminded myself to keep her around for a bit…
Carlisle went upstairs, and left Bella and me to the dinner preparation. "Do you know how to cook?" Bella asked earnestly, like she honestly didn't know. And she didn't, because we still didn't know many of the finer details about each other. She knew she loved me, but she had no idea if I was capable of making toast.
Which I wasn't…
"Nope," I winked. "Not even a little bit."
Bella rolled her eyes. "Then stay out of my way," she sighed. "Amateur hour this is not."
"Perfect. I think watching you is a far better way to spend the afternoon anyway," I smiled, panning my eyes over Bella's body playfully.
"You think you're so cute don't you?" Bella smirked, as she caught me using one of my patented smiles on her. Or so she thought. But this particular smile was only ever used on her. I could feel it in my cheeks, and it was a whole new level of embarrassing, like the smile I had on my face in Wal Mart when I realized the magnitude of my crush on her. This smile was humiliating, and no other girl could ever even dream to coax it out of me besides Bella.
I pulled her in tighter, playfully scrubbing at her hair with my knuckles. "No, but I think you're cute," I said lamely.
"No, I think you're cute," Bella cooed up to me.
"No as cute as I think you are."
"Uh huh!"
"Nuh uh!"
Our conversations sometimes deviated that way into the absolute doldrums of stupidity. But we didn't care. I think it was the whole love thing.
Eventually, I got Bella into the lobster apron my dad used for BBQ's and she got to work. I sat myself down on the counter, and watched as she turned our kitchen into the fucking best smelling room in the county.
She was chopping, and stirring, and shaking seasoning all over stuff, and chopping and stirring some more. I had to readjust myself a few times…seriously, it was hot.
She was making Grandma Cullen's recipe for Osso Bucco, fragrant braised shanks of lamb, and handled it like a champ…didn't even break a sweat.
"You think you should check the oven again?" I asked as I stared, wanting her to bend down to the oven again.
"Gee perv, I don't think I do," she quipped back to me without even losing her rhythm on the chopping board.
"You sure?" I laughed.
"Yes."
"Um, I don't think you sounded very sure. Maybe you should check the oven again, just in case?"
"Shut up."
Ring…ring…ring…
The sound of the phone ringing stopped us. "I'll get it!" I heard Carlisle call from upstairs, obviously not napping yet.
Once the ringing stopped, we both shrugged, and Bella went back to business, teasingly covering her ass with a cookie sheet so I couldn't stare…
"Cheater," I huffed.
"Pervert," Bella groaned, holding the sheet.
Then a few minutes later Carlisle came down the steps. He came into the kitchen, and looked a bit white in the face.
"What is it Dad?" I sort of asked with a laugh, unable to bridge the emotional gap between his face and the fun Bella and I were having. But somewhere inside I knew it was bad. I knew it, and I didn't want it to be true, so I kept smiling.
Carlisle came closer. "I'm sorry Edward, but your mom wasn't feeling up to it."
"What?" I asked like I was shocked…but I knew…
"She's not coming," Carlisle said, just verbalizing it. Verbalizing what I knew.
Then I couldn't talk. Bella and I were having so much fun that I completely forgot my mother even existed…And then like a punch in the gut, I remembered, and I fucking wanted to break something. But I couldn't because Bella's eyes were on me, I could feel them.
So I just started swallowing back saliva that was welling up in my throat, and trying to breathe because my chest felt really fucking tight. I could see Bella in my periphery, looking at me, and I wanted her gone. I wanted her gone because what was about to happen to me I didn't want her to see.
I was going to flip out, and I didn't want her to see it. So I just tried to breathe…
Breathe Edward, breathe…
See, Mom not showing was not unprecedented. It had happened before. But I was flipping out because this year, this time, I was really hoping it would be different. Everything else was different. I was different most importantly. And I just wanted my mom to see me happy. I wanted to tell her I was going to apply to med school. I wanted to show off the beautiful, smart, fun, crazy girl of my dreams, and have them hug and shit and talk about me behind my back. I wanted her to meet Bella. I wanted that so much.
But then, before I completely spazzed, something made me look at my Dad…
Fuck…
And looking at my Dad, I realized it wasn't all about me…The look behind his eyes wasn't something I had any experience with. He looked completely empty.
"I'm sorry Dad," I was able to say. Bella came into focus and she looked at me and smiled weakly, approving my sympathy for my dad.
Carlisle nodded. "If you'll excuse me, I think I'd like to be alone," he said.
"Sure," I whispered.
In the old days I would go to my room and break stuff and put a massive dent into my weed stash, and feel sorry for myself and somehow make it all about me. But in that moment, I wasn't really feeling sorry for myself at all. I was feeling sorry for Carlisle and my mom. I felt sorry that my mom had such a terrible addiction, and was so crippled by pain, and sadness, and fear that her entire existence for the past 18 years was within the walls of a rehab facility and a hospital. I don't think I ever let myself really contemplate that…really imagine what it must be like to exist like my mom did. Institutionalized, scheduled, cold, lonely, no family, no friends, no happiness in the world at all whatsoever.
And my dad? Well he had contemplated that…probably every moment of every day for the past 18 years. Suddenly the sadness behind his eyes, the age, the weariness made so much sense. It wasn't about his loneliness, or his mundane and boring existence that wore him down…it was about hers.
If Bella ever ended up as fucked as my mom? Shit, I wouldn't even know what to do. I wouldn't be able to deal with it.
Putting myself into my dad's shoes and Bella into my mom's, I fully realized the absolute hell my father had been trapped in for 18 years. He was living in Hades, with no way out, hanging onto tiny shreds of hope that my mother would recover, only to be kicked in the balls every time she didn't show up.
When Carlisle was gone, Bella reached for me on the counter. "Edward, I'm so sorry," she said, rubbing my thighs with her hands, her big brown eyes making each breath come more easily. "I just know how much you wanted this," she whispered sincerely.
And I did want it, I did…but in that moment, anger was starting to build toward my mother, and not because she screwed me over. I told myself I wouldn't take it personally, and I didn't, it wasn't about me. It was about him…about Carlisle. Carlisle was upstairs suffering, and for that I was angry. At my mom, at alcohol, at the fact that healthy babies could just stop breathing and drop dead in their sleep for no fucking reason other than to ruin families!
About to explode, I hopped down from the counter, and took Bella's hand. I needed some fucking air, it was suddenly hard to breathe again.
I dragged her outside without her coat, but she didn't resist, she just kept step with me, holding tightly to my hand until we made it to the woods. Once there, I dropped her hand and I grabbed for my cigarettes in my pocket, and lit one. I hadn't smoked in a while I realized. But I needed this cigarette. I needed it.
I began to walk deeper into the woods, pulling long drags on my cigarette, trying to get my thoughts straight. And as I walked, she was following me. I could feel her moving with me. I would walk toward a big pine, and she would follow two steps behind me. She wasn't saying anything, but she was with me.
I walked deeper and deeper into the woods, and was finally stopped by a stream I couldn't cross. I turned around, and she was there, arms folded over her cold body, tears streaming down her face.
But she was there. For the first time in my life, I had someone there when my mom let me down.
So I took a deep breath, flicked my cigarette into the stream, and I found her eyes. "He was fucking worried about the color poinsettia she liked, and she didn't even fucking show!" I cried, while Bella sort of reached for me, holding out her arms as tears streamed down her face.
"She's sick," she whimpered, staring right into me, telling me what I didn't want to hear.
I didn't go to her…not yet.
"Our driveway looks like a runway to the North Pole and she didn't even fucking show!" I shouted into Bella's red splotched face, making her wince, but she still held her arms out for me.
"She isn't well Edward, it's not her fault!" She cried, almost hysterical.
"It is her fault!" I screamed…just screamed.
"You know that's not true!"
"Then what is true?" I cried, and with those words, I finally broke. Tears just started spilling out of me.
I stared at Bella, starting to choke on my sobs, waiting for her answer, waiting for her to defend my mom again. But she didn't. Not this time. She just held her arms open for me…
And I looked at her, and she looked at me, and there was nothing left for me to do. I took the two steps toward her and fell into her open arms, sobs breaking out of me as I felt her arms wrap around me so tightly I could almost feel her heart beating through her shirt. I surrendered to her. She won.
"Shhh, sweetheart, shhh," she whispered, hushing me, and stroking my back and kissing my neck, and falling with me to my knees, just holding me to her while I cried in her arms. "It's not her fault Edward, it's no one's fault."
"I know," I sobbed.
"Shhh, it's ok, shhh…"
My knees soaked with slush and mud, I reached for Bella's face through the blur of my tears, and grasped it. When I found her eyes, I looked to her seriously, and she looked right back. "Never quit. Never punk out and give up on life, on me, on anything. Please?" I begged, blinking past my tears, sniffing back the snot.
"I won't," Bella agreed firmly. "I promise, I won't."
"Promise me, if life gets tough you will always fight and stay in the game?"
"I promise," Bella nodded, as tears were rolling down her face. "Now you promise too," she begged. "Promise me too."
"I promise," I wept.
Then, I was going to ask her to promise me something that I knew it was too soon to ask her, but I had to. "Promise me you will always be with me. No matter what, just always be with me?" I asked, just completely vulnerable to the beautiful girl whose tearful face was in my hands, waiting for her reply.
It didn't take long though. "Of course I will," Bella smiled through her tears. "I'm not going anywhere," she assured me with a soft kiss on my cheek. "We don't have to make the mistakes our parents made."
"What if we do?" I asked.
"We won't," she said simply…and I believed her.
After that, there was nothing more to say, so I did the only thing that made sense…I kissed her. I pulled her face to my mouth, and I tasted her tears on my tongue, and I let the soft feel of her lips ease the pain that I was feeling in my chest. I fucking kissed Bella until I couldn't feel anything anymore except her, and how much I loved her, and how I knew that she would always be with me…because she promised.
Our kiss was long, and it was eager, and it finished the conversation we were having for us. It put meaning behind our words, it sealed our promise to each other. As long as kissing Bella felt that good, meant that much, healed me that way, we would never be apart.
We kissed for what felt like hours, and as the sun began to set, we walked hand in hand back to the house, ready to face whatever was next…together.
As we were getting closer to the house, Emmett's jeep pulled into the driveway. Rosalie and Emmett exited the car, dressed up, smiling, and carrying pie boxes.
"Shit," I hissed, gripping tighter to Bella's hand. I didn't know how to tell him? I couldn't bring myself to move.
Bella gripped my hand and looked up into my eyes. "Just tell him, there's no easy way to do it," she said, always reading my mind.
We walked out of the woods, soaked and dirty and red faced and snotty…and walked over to Emmett.
He saw me, and it didn't take long for him to catch on. "She's not coming is she?"
"No."
"How's Dad?" Emmett asked sincerely. Emmett was a better person than me after all, and always thought of others before himself.
"Not good," I shrugged. "He went to his room. I don't think he's coming down tonight."
"Fuck!" Emmett groaned with a tight jaw, allowing a small amount of anger towards my mother reach him. "Well isn't this just grand?"
Rosalie hands went his back and stoked his broad shoulders, but he kept his cool, better than I did at least. But that was always the case I guess.
"What should we do?" I asked my big brother, really seeing him as that in that moment. He was more mature than I was, more thoughtful, more in tune with my dad. He would know better than me how to handle it.
Emmett looked to me with a blank expression and shrugged. "We can't do anything Edward. It's been 18 years, there's nothing left, nothing we haven't tried…It just is what it is," he said coldly, then took Rosalie's hand and started toward the house, leaving Bella and me standing in the driveway.
I turned to look at her. "Is he right?" I asked. "Is it hopeless?"
"She's been sick a long time Edward," Bella whispered, pushing back a few stray tears with the back of her hand, but trying to be strong for me.
"What now?" I asked, completely clueless as to what to do.
Bella eased her body into mine, and I took her into my chest. "I think we should go inside," she started, her mouth damp on my shirt, "and spend time with the people that are here tonight."
That sounded like a good idea. "Ok," I agreed.
Bella looked up at me. "Hey," she sighed.
"Hey yourself," I sighed back.
"I love you ok?"
I smiled. "I love you too."
Then I kissed her head, and wiped her eyes, and let her wipe her nose on the sleeve of my shirt, and we went inside.
Bella checked on the food, and we changed into some old sweats, and we eventually ended up snuggled on the couch watching Home Alone with Rose and Em, trying to calm down and just accept the reality.
I put my head in Bella's lap and before long we were both laughing along with the movie, slowly forgetting, or accepting…Emmett was too. So by the time Kevin was lining his sled up on top of the stairs, I felt inspired. I wanted to salvage the day.
I perked my head up from Bella's lap, and looked at Emmett. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I asked with a smile.
"Hell yes," he nodded emphatically.
"What? What are you thinking?" Bella asked nervously.
"Oh no! The last time you two did this!" Rosalie cried.
"Did what? What are you going to do?" Bella asked again, really curious.
I sat up and grabbed her cheeks. "Meet me at the top of the steps in five minutes," I winked, then followed Emmett to the garage.
The first time we tried stair sledding was after the first time we watched Home Alone. I was maybe 5, and Em was 6, and Carlisle rented the movie from Blockbuster. It was our second Christmas after Alice died, and the last before Mom left permanently for rehab. She had done a few month long stints by that point, but nothing long term. She was there that Christmas, I remember her coming down at one point to eat and tell Emmett and me to, "Keep it down because Mommy has a headache…"
I think Carlisle felt sorry for us, or maybe he wanted to have a little fun himself, so he came up with the idea to give the old stair sledding a try.
I remember I had fun that day…holding tight to the sled with my father's big arms wrapped around Em and me as we thumped down the steps and out the door, and fell into the snow just like Kevin. It was a genuine moment of happiness in an otherwise unhappy and sad childhood. I wanted to feel it again, just once, with my brother, on a day when Mom once again let us down.
Emmett and I retrieved the old sleds from the garage with knowing smiles, then ran back to the house, where Bella was dutifully waiting for me on the top of the steps. To Emmett's surprise, so was Rosalie. She must have known Emmett needed her to be there, and she was.
Bella and I were up first. After a little coaxing, and some rearrangement of furniture, I finally got her into the sled. She sat in front, and I hovered over her in the back. "Do you trust me?" I asked a little breathless, alive with anticipation.
Bella's eyes bugged. "No!" she cried, looking terrified, but not leaving her seat.
"Well at least you're honest. Hold on!" I cried as I pushed off, and we began thumping and sliding and gaining speed as we just flew down the steps.
It was an instant high, and I held on tightly to Bella as she screamed the whole way down. It took only seconds before we hit the door frame with a bang, got air, and fell crashing into the snow below.
It took me a few seconds to get my bearings, when I heard cackling laughter coming from the ball of brown hair and too big sweats laid out in the snow beside me.
I looked over, and she was rolling, just laughing like I had never seen her…and that was saying something. "Real laugh, or do you need assistance?" I laughed, as I rolled over on top of her in the snow, propping myself with my hands, looking down into her hysterical beaming face.
She looked up at me, and her beautiful face let out another cackle. "Real laugh!" She cried, and it was contagious, and I broke down with her. The high of the ride was something that's hard to explain without trying it. It was that fun.
"Let's do it again!" Bella cried, wiggling out from underneath me and grabbing for the sled.
I followed her in, avoiding Em and Rose as they came crashing down the stairs.
When we got inside, Carlisle was standing at the top of the steps. It was quiet.
Bella and I walked up slowly, and eventually met him at the top. "Sorry, we're being loud," I apologized to his blank eyes. "We'll keep it down."
Then Carlisle's hand reached out for Bella who was holding the sled. "May I?" He asked, cracking a hint of a smile.
Bella looked to him curiously at first, but something in his eyes made her crack a smile to. "Of course," she nodded.
"Ride with me Edward?" Carlisle asked, taking the sled from Bella's hands.
"Yeah," I grinned widely. "Heck yeah."
"I'll go make sure Emmett and Rosalie are clear!" Bella cried as she skipped down the steps, leaving me alone with my dad.
I got in front of the orange plastic speed machine as I called it as a kid, and Carlisle crawled in behind me. "I'm applying to med school," I said, with my back turned to him. I don't know why? But I wanted to tell him then and there.
Carlisle didn't answer right away, but when he did his voice sounded a little broken. "That's good news Edward," he said proudly. "That is very good news."
"I'm thinking somewhere on the west coast too. Maybe Seattle?"
"I think Seattle is a great idea. Thank you Edward," he said, and I could tell he was a little choked up. My news had made him happy, truly happy.
I decided to keep it light. "No thank you," I said with a laugh, "In advance…because you're paying for it," I smirked.
"Very funny," Carlisle laughed back. "Now hold on!" he cried, and before I knew it we were flying down the steps together, just like when I was a kid.
As Carlisle and I fell into the snow, I decided Christmas at the Cullen house had been salvaged, even though Mom wasn't there. Of course we would try again next year, and the year after that, and probably every year until the day she died. We would do it, because we were her family, and that's what you do.
But as I saw him get up and run for the door with Emmett to make another run, I hoped my father would move on. I hoped he would find happiness, real happiness like what I had with Bella with someone else. Someone healthy, someone who would show up for him, someone who could be his partner for stair sledding. He wasn't dead yet, there was still life left inside of him. Carlisle needed someone to bring him to life like Bella brought me to life.
I didn't even realize how dead I was until she showed me what it meant to really live. Living is nothing without loving…that's the biggest lesson she taught me. And my ability to love wasn't only reserved for her. I learned to love my dad, and my brother, and even Rosalie Hale, because I knew she would love Bella and they would be friends.
I imagined us really old and in Florida or something, and they would be cackling about bad fish and some teenage girl with not enough clothing on. Those thoughts made me happy because I knew that Emmett and I were going to be brothers, real brothers, and we would do something as perfectly normal as getting a house together in Florida to go to when we got old, and taking our women out shopping for brightly colored hats and Metamucil.
The idea of getting old, of not being a good looking twenty one year old kid didn't even scare me anymore. I was actually sort of curious to see what my future would be. And I knew Bella would be there. She promised.
Caught in the reverie, Bella tackled me into the snow. "I'm madly in love with you Edward Cullen," she cried, smashing snow into my face, her words the topper on a day that I would remember for the rest of my life.
I rolled on top of her, taking a picture of her face in that moment for memory. So beautiful.
"And I'm madly in love with you Bella Swan," I smiled, dropping a kiss on her lips.
Then Bella broke free from me once again, and ran towards the house to watch Emmett go down with Carlisle…backwards…and I followed her.
Wherever Bella Swan went, I would always follow…
The End.