A/N: Written for 'whoniverse1000', an unusual pairing just because. (Kamelion/vacuum cleaner)

Closet Romance

(or Love Sucks)

It wasn't really all that long after he'd become thoroughly lost in the TARDIS interior that Kamelion gave up all hope of ever being found. Hope was, after all, something that required great strength and fortitude of spirit to sustain and he was sadly lacking in those personality upgrades to his artifical life. Indeed, it was when he was woefully considering how foolish it had been to give the Master all of his lunch money that fateful day they'd met (for the Fortitude upgrade had been on the menu) when he accidentally wandered into a broom closet believing it to be a lift and found himself locked in.

Thankfully he was not alone. There was She. It was a slow and silent courtship, a long and languorous communion, then a gentle and tentative exploration of his beloved's innermost motorizations. How sleek she was, how he loved to listen to her beater beat - and her breath! She breathed in as no other he had ever imagined, in and in and in and in and in and in. He wrapped her hose about him and lay content in her embrace, dreaming of the tiny pitter-patter of dust particles upon plastic, together for eternity.