A/N: 1. I apologize to those of you waiting for me to update Great Minds Think Alike. I will get to it, but the last few months of 2010 were quite hectic for me and my copy of Half-Blood Prince is Missing, so I need to wait for my Library to finish repairing their copy so that I can check some specifics. (It's already due, so hopefully not too long).
2. This story is based on a scene from More than Fifty Four Negi and Chisame Threesomes by Over Master, which despite its title and M rating, is not explicit and is an excellent collection of short scenes. There was some discussion over at TVTropes after he wrote it about the implications of such an idea and eventually it was chosen as part of the 101 Negima fanfics challenge. Why not go check it out?
3. Disclaimer: I am not Ken Akamatsu, the owner of Mahou Sensei Negima. As this will be a long story, this disclaimer applies to every chapter that I write from now until the end of time.
Anya looked down at her diploma as she walked towards Negi and Nekane. The words were appearing in front of her eyes. "What!-?" she cried. "A teacher? In Japan? Is this normal? What does yours say Negi?"
"My assignment is about to appear now." Negi replied as Nekane looked at Anya's diploma with a worried expression on her face. "A fortune-teller in London."
"Well, that's a far more normal first assignment." Nekane declared. "Let's speak to the principal about this." With that she dragged Negi and Anya to the principal in question crying, "P-Principal! What's the meaning of this?-! What do you mean by "teacher"?"
"Ho…A teacher is it?" asked the principal.
"Are you sure there hasn't been a mistake?" asked Nekane. "There's no way a 10-year old can be a teacher!"
"Hey now!" cried Anya turning to Nekane. "I was hoping for a more normal assignment, but are you saying that you think I can't handle it? I can look after myself. It's not like I'm Negi who still crawls into your bed!"
"I'm just worried, Anya." Nekane replied. "You've been a good friend to Negi and I don't want you to lose out on your dreams because of this."
"That's right, Anya." Negi added. "We're just worried about you. Japan is far away after all."
"Well, Anya seems to think that she can handle it." said the principal. "Besides, what is written in the diploma is final. Make sure you train hard if you want to become a Magistra Magi, Anya!"
"Are you sure that you can do this Anya?" asked Negi.
"Of course, you idiot!" replied Anya. "That's what I said in the first place!"
"Hmm…Don't worry Negi." the principal assured him, "The principal of the school that Anya will be assigned to is a friend of mine. Do your best Anya." With that he left.
Practically right after arriving in Japan, Anya took the train to the school where she would be working. She found riding the train to be extremely irritating. She was surrounded by so many women. It was a good thing that Negi wasn't around to be tempted by all the boobs.
One of the girls asked if she was lost as they'd already past the primary school. "Oh, so just because I have a flat chest, then obviously I belong in the primary school!" Anya shrieked. "I'll have you know that I happen to be a teacher, so show some respect or I'll have to punish you!" The girls around her were rather taken aback by this display, but just then the doors opened at her stop and she gladly got off.
The station was for the Mahora Academy Girl's Middle School. That was where she was supposed to be. She looked around as she walked. This school was huge and very crowded. So completely unlike anything that she was used to, but she'd have to get going if she was going to avoid being late for her meeting with her new boss.
As she continued on her journey to where her boss's office apparently was, she reached a couple of girls whom appeared to be discussing the redhead's affection for a teacher and fortunes. Well, she knew a bit about fortunes. "You're pretty dumb if you think that's going to work." she said. "You may as well give up anyway, you don't have a future with him. I can see it." The redhead's face contorted in fury.
"How dare you say that to me, you brat!" she shrieked.
"Hey!" cried Anya. "Don't you dare call me a brat. You were the one asking for fortunes on your love life!" This girl was annoying her. She bet that under her jacket were large boobs. Petankos like herself were far more gentle, quiet and considerate. "I didn't ask for a fortune from you!" cried the redhead.
"Calm down, Asuna." advised the brunette. "She's just a kid, isn't she? No different from any other primary school kids, right?" Anya twitched at that. She who graduated second in her class at magic school and was now a teacher being called "no different from any other primary school kids", how dare she make such a false assumption!
"I hate kids!" Asuna responded. She looked like she wanted to do something violent but before things got out of hand the brunette asked Anya what she was doing there because the primary school was at the previous station.
"Again, with people making that assumption!" thought Anya.
"That's right!" Asuna declared. "In short, little kids aren't allowed here, you got that?"
"Stop talking to me like that!" growled Anya.
"Okay, we've got things to do now." said the brunette. "Go home by yourself, okay?"
"Goodbye, brat!" yelled Asuna.
"That will be enough, Asuna-kun!" came a familiar voice. Takamichi looked out at them through the window. "Hey, Anya-kun!" he called out. "Long time no see!"
"Eh…Takahata-sensei?-!" cried Asuna with glee as she turned around and blushed. "G-good morning!"
"Good morning!" greeted the brunette.
"Hi Takamichi!" called out Anya. "It certainly has been!" That was true. He didn't visit Wales that often and usually spent more time with Negi. She was relieved to see a familiar face though.
"Welcome to Mahora Academy!" Takamichi said. "Nice place isn't it…Anya-sensei?"
"Eh? S-Sensei?" asked the brunette whose confusion was plain for all to see.
"That's right!" declared Anya, glad to finally have her authority backed up. "I'm the new English teacher, Anna Cocolova, better known as Anya Cocolava!"
"E-eh!" cried Asuna with shock. "W-wait just a minute here…you're a teacher?-! A brat like you?-!" She actually grabbed Anya's shoulders with this.
"Yeah, I am!" Anya growled, shoving Asuna's hands off. "So back off!"
"Calm down, everyone." said Takamichi who was now out the door and walking towards them. "You don't have to worry about it, Asuna. Anya is actually quite smart."
"Sensei…" said Asuna, "even if you tell me that…"
"It seems that from today onwards," Takamichi interrupted, "she'll be taking class A instead of me." Asuna reddened and actually began to tear up.
"You've got to be kidding!" she cried. "I don't want this kid! Just a while back she was saying…something really rude to me!"
"Well, tough luck!" said Anya. "The principal chooses the teachers and he picked me!"
"I hate kids!" wept Asuna, as tears were actually poring down her face by now. "Especially annoying, arrogant, rude little brats like you!"
Anya felt the heat rising to her face. How dare she call her that?-! Her face reddened and flames danced in her pupils. She was a teacher! How dare a student speak that way to her?-! Then she noticed that Asuna was starting to sweat from the heat. No! She mustn't lose control! It was Negi who did that. She had to calm down before steam began to visibly rise from her body, or worse, shoot from her ears. She supposed that she wasn't really polite to Asuna. Maybe she would respond better if she acted more like Negi.
"I'm sorry." she mumbled, "I shouldn't have been rude earlier."
"Whatever!" dismissed Asuna. "We're late for a meeting with the principal."
Asuna followed Konoka into her grandfather's office. Anya was right behind her, but Hasegawa and Hakase were already in the office. "Ah, good." said Konoemon, "I was hoping to speak to the four of you and your new teacher before class."
"Principal-sensei!" Asuna asked. "What is the meaning of this?-!"
"Ah, Asuna-chan," said Konoemon whilst stroking his beard, "I will explain that now." He turned to Anya, "I see…your training was to come to Japan as a teacher…hoho. They've given you quite a task…"
"Don't worry." Anya assured him. "I can do it!"
Chisame's head spun round fast enough to give most people whiplash. No! Her life already had too much weirdness and now they were being assigned a foreign midget who looked like she hadn't even hit puberty yet as their teacher. What was wrong with this school?
"But first you must gain some practical experience." Konoemon continued, "Let's make it from today to march…By the way, sometime I'd like to meet your friend, N…"
"Just a minute please!" interrupted Asuna. "I-isn't it odd that a kid is doing the job of a teacher? And our home-room teacher too!"
Chisame was very glad to hear those words. Finally someone was making sense! Even if it was that violent baka, Kagurazaka.
"Anya-chan…" Konoemon began, "This job will probably be very difficult…If it's too hard for you, you will have to return home. There are no second chances. Are you prepared to accept that?"
"Of course!" answered Anya. "I'm fully prepared. I'm not going to give up now!"
"Hmm…Then it's settled" Konoemon replied. "Well then, let's begin today. Let me introduce you to our staff guidance officer, Shizuna-sensei. Shizuna-kun!"
"Yes!" came the reply. Anya turned round and received a face full of breasts.
She stepped back. It really was a good thing that Negi wasn't here to be surrounded by the evil boob-monsters.
"If there's anything you don't understand, you should ask her." said Konoemon.
"Nice to meet you." smiled Shizuna.
"Oh, and another thing…" announced Konoemon, "Satomi-chan, Chisame-chan, can Anya-chan stay in your room for a while? We haven't decided where she's going to stay yet."
"Wait…but..." began Anya.
"It shouldn't affect me in a particularly negative manner." Satomi replied, but Chisame leaned over the desk.
"Wait!" she cried. "I'm getting another roommate?-! How long is this going to last?-! Why me?-! What am I supposed to do with a new child teacher as a roommate?-!"
"Don't worry Chisame-chan." replied Konoemon. "Satomi-chan spends most of her time at the lab, so you have more space than most. Also, I'm asking Konoka and Asuna-chan to help you get Anya-chan orientated."
"Wait," cried Asuna, "I have to help? But I hate kids!"
"Now, now!" said Konoemon. "Get along everyone. You should all head for class now anyway."
There was a rather awkward silence as they all walked to the classroom. "Here, take the class roll." said Shizuna, handing it over as the girls went on ahead.
"Thanks." replied Anya, taking it from her.
"Will you be okay as a teacher, Anya-chan?" Shizuna asked.
"Of course." replied Anya. "People need to stop worrying about me."
"Here we are." Shizuna indicated towards a door. "This is your class."
Anya looked at the class roll. "Wow, there's a lot of them." she said as she was more used to a class of only five people.
"Try to remember everyone's name and face quickly, okay?" Shizuna suggested.
"Right." answered Anya, who found it amusing that one of the girls had the same name as the legendary Apostle of Darkness. She opened the door and a black-board duster fell towards her head. She dodged it, but tripped over a trip-rope, resulting in her falling, being hit by a bucket of water and being shot by arrows with suction cups. "Ow!" Anya cried, "How…how can you do this to…?-!" Once again, her face had reddened with fury and the water covering her began to evaporate.
The girls of the class rushed forward. "Eh?-! A kid?-!" cried one.
"Sorry about that!" said another. "We thought you were the new teacher!"
"No." said Shizuna. "She is your new teacher. Come on, introduce yourself. Anya-chan."
"All right." Anya sighed, calming down. The fact that these girls showed concern meant that they were probably not going to prank her that way again. "My name is Anna Cocolova, but my friends call me Anya. From today onwards, I'll be teaching English at this school. I'll only be here for three terms, but I hope that we can get along with each other in the mean time."
The girls crowded around her to get a closer look. "Really?-! A child teacher?-!" one cried.
"How old are you?-!"
"Where did you come from?-!"
"Yes, what's your nationality?"
"I'm from Wales."
"Where is Wales?"
"In the United Kingdom." Clearly someone needed to study her Geography better.
"Where are you living now?-!"
"I'm moving into the dorms."
"Really?-! You're staying with the students?-!"
Chisame had her face buried in her palm. She really didn't want to think about having this freak move in with her.
"Is she really going to be our homeroom teacher?-!" asked Sakurako.
"Yes, can we really have a kid for our teacher?-!" Misa clarified.
"Hey now, you can't "have" her. She's not food okay?" Shizuna replied.
"Is she really a teacher?" someone asked.
"Hey, are you really smart?"
"Of course! I speak English at University graduate level! Would I be here if I wasn't qualified?"
"Anya-chan has all the credentials, of course…" said Shizuna, "…but as you can see, she's younger than you girls. Treat her nicely, okay?"
The girls seemed far more interested in her than in what she was here to teach, but a tall blonde suddenly stood up and said, "Everyone return to your seats. You're all in the way of Sensei teaching. I heard that she's a genius who graduated from Oxford! Teaching has nothing to do with age…so please Sensei, continue with Homeroom."
"Thank you!" said Anya, but before she could continue, there was another interruption.
"What's with the "nice girl" act, Iinchou?" asked Asuna.
"It's only natural that I'd look like a nice girl from the outside," answered the Iinchou, sweeping her hair back, "since I'm a nice girl on the inside, too!"
"What nice girl?" Asuna grinned, "You probably just want her to introduce you to some boys her age, don't you, you shotacon!"
"Wh…! Wha?-!" cried the Iinchou, blushing furiously and grabbing Asuna's jacket. "Stop these scandalous accusations this instant! You shouldn't be talking, you with your old man fetish! I know all about you and Takahata-sensei!"
"Grrr…Don't you say any more!" Asuna growled, grabbing back, "You…" Anya stood there in shock.
"Uh…St…" she began.
"Go for it!" Sakurako cheered.
Shizuna clapped twice. "Okay, okay." she said. "It's time for class girls. You can take it from here Anya-sensei."
"All-all right." said Anya turning around. "Turn to page 128 and…I-I can't reach." Despite being on tiptoes and stretching her arm, the chalk did not reach the top of the board. "Sensei, take this stepping stool." offered Ayaka.
"Thank you." replied Anya and she continued with the class.
"Anya-sensei," greeted Takamichi as she opened the door, "how was your first class?"
"Well, the beginning was a little…" began Anya.
"Ta-Takahata-sensei!" interrupted Asuna, who barged in at high speed. "Hi! I was with her the whole time, so it was no problem! The class was a big success, wasn't it, Anya-sensei?"
"Er…right!" replied Anya.
"Ho ho…That's great!" said Takamichi. "Thanks Asuna-kun. Well then, I'll leave Anya-kun up to you." He waved goodbye.
"Ah…O-Okay!" Asuna replied with longing in her eyes, "Takahata-sensei!"
"So it is Takamichi that you're in love with!" declared Anya.
"Oh, shut up." Asuna replied. "How would a girl like you know Takahata-sensei anyway? I've told you before, but you're nothing but a pest. There's no way I'd recognize a girl like you as a teacher!"
As she walked off, Konoka waved apologetically. "Don't take any notice of her." she called out.
As if she would pay attention to that vicious boob-monster. What was worse was that she wasn't even the girl with the biggest boobs in the class! She'd have to be careful.
Anya really hoped that Asuna's attitude improved. In the meantime, she headed off to find Chisame or Satomi. It tuned out that Chisame was the one she found. She did not appear to be in a good mood. "Hi there!" greeted Anya, "I thought that I should speak to you about arrangements, seeing as though we're going to be roommates."
Chisame glared at her. "Okay, let's set some things straight!" she said, "First of all, this is a temporary arrangement. Secondly, as you're imposing on us, you can take the couch. Thirdly, the computer is mine, so don't touch it. Fourth…"
"Ah! Kyaaa! Ow! Ugh!"
"Honya-chan!" they heard Asuna cry, "Are you all right?-!"
This was bad. A Magistra's job was to help people. If someone had been injured, it was her responsibility to help them. She sat down on a broom that she seemed to somehow pull out of her cloak and rose to fly off for where the shouting was coming from. Then she noticed Chisame's red face, bulging eyes and hanging jaw. She looked like she was about to have an aneurysm and was pointing straight at Anya.
"What?-!...How?-!...Is this some kind of fantasy?-!" she was spluttering.
This was not good. In her desperation, she had forgotten that she wasn't supposed to blow her cover. She spent enough time around Chamo to know that she didn't want to become a member of his species. She got off the staff and said, "No time to explain, just come with me!" She then grabbed Chisame's hand and dragged her towards the source of the scream.
Nodoka was lying on the floor. She looked dazed and had some abrasions. Asuna was kneeling next to her and they were surrounded by books. "Asuna! I'll take care of Nodoka! You get help!" Anya ordered.
"Uh…Right!" cried Asuna and she ran off.
"Wait a second!" hissed Chisame, "What's going on? What are you? Some kind of magical girl from a manga? Can you really help Honya-san? This is too much for me! People can't fly in reality!"
"The correct term is mage, just don't go telling anyone else! Healing magic is not my specialty, but I should be able to make a difference!" She held her staff and hands over Nodoka's body and began to chant, "Fortis la tius lilith lilioth! Tui gratia Jupiter gratia sit cura!"
"Sensei, your hands are glowing!" Nodoka exclaimed in wonder and so they were. The abrasions and swellings shrank before their eyes.
"That's all that I can do for now!" said Anya. They then heard running again and saw that Asuna had arrived with Takamichi and Ako.
"Do you need me to carry you, Miyazaki-kun?" asked Takamichi.
"Ah…N-n-no, thank you!" Nodoka squealed, "C-c-could I just lean on Ako a bit!"
"All right." replied Ako and she helped Nodoka to her feet and to the Nurse's office.
"Um," Chisame began, "the others wanted to have a party with you. I wasn't actually interested, but I suppose we should go there to let everyone know about Nodoka."
Anya was surprised. They were throwing a party for her? However, Chisame was right. They needed to let Nodoka's friends know. Probably her parents as well. She didn't know who her friends or parents were so she'd have to find that out. "All right, let's go tell them." she sighed.
"Welcome…" greeted the rest of the class as Anya walked through the door, "…Anya-sensei!"
"Thank you all so much for this party," said Anya, "but I'm afraid that I must let you know that Nodoka was injured this afternoon and is currently in the Nurse's office." That certainly put a damper on the festivities.
Anya put down the phone after reassuring Nodoka's parents that she was going to be fine and headed for the room where Nodoka would be spending the night.
For some reason, Setsuna appeared to be guarding the door. Anya walked in and saw that the other three members of the Library exploration club were sitting next to her bed.
She listened to what Nodoka was saying. "…and then Sensei's hands started glowing and I felt much better. The scrapes closed up!"
Anya froze. Everyone in the room turned to face her. Why hadn't she asked Nodoka to keep this secret straight away?
Haruna grinned evilly. "So what is this about Anya-sensei?" she asked. "What kind of powers do you have? Are you a mutant, a superhero or a magical girl?"
"I'm a mage!" Anya corrected her. "Now, don't tell anyone else!" Haruna grinned even more widely.
"How do we know that you're not lying to keep us quiet?" she asked. "Show us some magic as proof."
Anya sighed. In these situations it was standard procedure to erase memories, but it would be difficult to do for so many people at once and she'd have to erase over an hour for Nodoka and Chisame, which was considered unethical. "All right!" she said, pulling out a wand. "Practe bigi naru! Ardescat!" A flame rose from the tip of the wand.
"Sugoi!" Nodoka cried. "Please teach us magic, Sensei!"
"Yes." said Yue. "We would like to learn."
Konoka's eyes shone with excitement. "Yes. Please teach us, Anya-chan!" she begged.
"I don't think that that's a good idea." answered Anya.
"Well, then why should we keep your secret?" Haruna replied.
"…Fine!" said Anya. "If you promise not to tell anyone else, I'll teach you what I can!"
As Anya left, Yue turned to Haruna. "Was that really necessary?" she asked.
"What?" asked Haruna.
"Threatening to expose her." Yue replied. "It's rather underhanded."
"Y-yeah…" Nodoka agreed, "I don't want Anya-sensei to get in trouble. She helped me and even if she didn't…"
"Hey, she agreed right away didn't she?" replied Haruna. "So no need to worry. I wasn't really going to do it! Getting turned into a frog or something is not very useful for taking over the world!"
"Why do you go on about that ridiculous plan?" asked Yue.
Negi lay alone in bed. He really missed Nekane and Anya. He wondered how they were doing.
It's a pity that all this party food will go to waste. said Satsuki.
"I take off hands, aru!" replied Ku Fei.
"But where should I put this bust of Anya-sensei?" asked Ayaka.
"I can tell you where to put it." Asuna replied.
"…!" said Zazie, putting her doves back…wherever it was they came from.
"Thank you, Zazie." Ayaka replied.
A/N: 1. Sereg writing chapters of decent length? Sorry, but don't get used to it. The following chapters will tend to be far shorter.
2. I am currently busy with chapter five, but in order to not spoil you with an update schedule that I can't even imagine maintaining, I'll upload the first few every roughly 1 to 2 weeks and try to keep far enough ahead to do some checking as this is by far the most serious thing that I've put up here so far (though no where near the most serious thing I've written. Don't worry, I intend for there to be plenty of humor).
3. I decided that if Negi, casts Flans exclamatio when he sneezes, similar things should happen with other powerful, yet inexperienced mages. Anya's problem is far more subtle of course, but I did try to show its existence at least.
4. Yes, Anya's moving in with Chisame and Hakase. I have several reasons for this. First of all I want to try stick to the spirit of the original scene by Over Master which inspired this, secondly, Konoemon has less incentive to stick her with Konoka, thirdly, Chisame does have more space and finally, humor.
5. Not completely satisfied with how Chisame's discovery of magic came out, but oh well, sometimes you have to plough through a difficult scene to get on with the good stuff.
6. Yes, I injured my second favorite character. She's tougher than she looks. She can take it.
7. A note on power-levels: I intend to keep My Anya and My Negi weaker than Canon Negi but stronger than Canon Anya at the equivalent point in the manga, so please warn me if I seem dangerously close to violating that objective.
8. So it turns out that Anya's even worse than Negi when it comes to keeping her secret. Again, I have several reasons for this.
9. People always forget that Konoka is actually a member of the Library Exploration Club (is there a trope for that?). I know that she's not as associated with the club as much as the others are, but she's still a member! In a related note, it looks like Anya's going to have some explaining to do to the Konoe family.
10. Looking at the early chapters of the Manga, it looks like the expedition to Library Island took place soon after the dodge ball game, but if the timeline on the info page from TVTropes is correct, it must have been over three weeks! I'm confused.
11. The other members of the All Purpose Negima Fanfiction Thread over at TVTropes see this story before I put it up here and I thank them for their help and support.
12. Sorry about the ridiculous number of authors notes.
13. EDIT: I've made a couple of corrections. Thanks to Ack Sed for pointing them out to me and for the suggestion to add hesitation before Anya's agreement to teach magic.
14. ANOTHER EDIT: After writing up to quite far into chapter 15 and receiving some good constructive criticism, I've made several changes to this chapter. Practically no changes in plot, but style should be much better now. The biggest source of changes comes from Cygan Angel from TVTropes who gave a nice in depth critique on my style in this chapter and in a paragraph in chapter 15 (so far).