Well, well well, here we are again. This was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but so many of you lovlies asked so nicely for another chapter, that I just had to oblige (I'm just sorry it took me so long). So, here you go...the morning after...
At 4:15 in the morning, it started to pour. By 8:25, the rain had tapered off, even though the clouds had yet to disperse. When I finally looked at the clock it was 9:30 and I realized I had been peering out the window, waiting for her to come back for almost six hours. When Bella left my apartment this morning, I had stared at the door for a moment, willing her to walk back through. When it became evident that she wouldn't, I sprinted to my living room window, the window that faced the street, just in time to see her cab pull away from the curb, taking her to God knows where.
Away from me.
And that window is where I stayed. I couldn't go back to bed. I knew it would smell like her, and so I watched for her and imagined seeing that same cab pulling up in front of my building. Bella would jump out and run back into my apartment, where I would be waiting with the door open. We'd spend the day in bed, making love.
I am so fucked.
This isn't me. Edward Cullen does not day dream about seeing a woman again or makinglove. Those words aren't even in my vocabulary. Usually I'm the one calling a cab and running out the door.
But Bella. God, Bella. There are no words to describe what she's done to me in the last few months and last night, as she pulled herself from my arms, I realized something.
Something scary...horrifying...horribly, tremendously, out of character for me.
I'm in love. Or in other words...I am so fucked.
Dammit! I ran a hand through my hair, scratched the back of my neck, then used that same hand to punch the wall beside the window. No! This would not happen! Edward Cullen gets what he wants and right now, he wants Bella Swan.
And apparently, he refers to himself in the third person.
Bella said she couldn't see me again, but I saw her face, the tears that threatened to spill as I asked her again to stay with me. Screw that. She will see me again. Today. Even if I have to go to her place and knock the door down.
With a new found determination, I rushed into the bedroom and picked up my phone to call her. I had opened up my contacts list before I realized I didn't have her number. Undeterred, I pressed Emmett's number and waited for him to pick up. He couldn't answer fast enough, and I tapped my foot, feeling jittery and on edge, despite my lack of sleep. After several rings, it went to voice mail, so I hung up and tried again. Voice mail. On the third try he finally answered, his voice thick with sleep.
"Edward, I swear on all things holy, I will kill you. Why the hell are you..."
"Em, are you with Rose?" I asked without preamble.
His tone of voice changed immediately, "awww yeah I am. You know it, man!"
"Ask her for Bella's number," I knew I was talking too fast, but I couldn't slow myself down...I was a man on a mission.
Emmett was confused, "her number? Why aren't you with her? You know, when me and Rose left last night, we assumed that you guys would leave togeth..." his voice cut off and I heard a feminine voice in the background. Emmett's voice was suddenly far away as well, "she does what? But...what about..." I then heard a sort of scuffling sound.
"Edward? It's Rose."
I frowned, "Uh, hi Rose. Listen I need Bella's number. I know she doesn't want to see me again, but I really need to talk to her."
"I'll give you her number, but you have to listen to me first. It's not that she doesn't want to see you. Regardless of how she acts, Bella likes you. A lot. I mean a lot, a lot..."
I felt myself smile at Rose's words, but I knew there was a big "but" coming soon.
Yup, there it is.
"She's been hurt. She's been left broken and bleeding and it took years for her to put herself back together. Now, it seems like you're an okay guy and I really want her to be happy. I'm giving you her number, but I swear to you that if you hurt her, I will cut your dick off with a rusty butter knife and I will laugh the whole time. Do you understand?" Rosalie's voice was so cold and even, that there was no doubt in my mind she would do it.
I shuddered, but didn't hesitate, "absolutely. I could never hurt Bella. I can tell you right now, hurting her would feel like a knife in my chest. Anything you could do to me would pale in comparison."
I could hear the smile in Rose's voice when she replied, "good answer, Edward. I think I like you. Here's Em."
What? No! "Wait! Rose, what about..."
"You dawg! You did take her home, didn't you? Was she worth all the shower wanking?"
"Fuck off, Emmett! Just give me her number, man...come on!" I was getting impatient...I just needed to see Bella. Now.
Emmett guffawed, "all right, all right. I'll text it to you. Been great talking to you, Eddie, but I got a hot blond with her hand around my..."
I cut him off before I could hear more, "okay, okay, just text the number. Immediately." Yeah. I pulled the professor voice, sue me.
I hung up before I could hear anymore and within seconds my phone pinged with an incoming text message. Eagerly, I saved Bella's number to my contacts and was about to call her when I thought better of it. I didn't want to scare her off with my new crazy stalker personality, so I sent her a text. Much better.
Yeah, I'm justifying. What the hell ever.
"Hey, meet me for dinner tonight." Not too demanding. Is it? Well, maybe...I hit send before I could second guess myself.
Within seconds, I got a text back and may or may not have laughed like a loon when I saw Bella's name on my screen. "Whoisthis?"
"It's Edward. Meet me for dinner."
"Ican't.Where'dyougetmynumber?" It was the response I had expected and yet it didn't bother me too much. She didn't say she didn't want to, she said she can't. There's a difference.
"Yes, you can. And I made Emmett get it from Rose," I snickered as I hit send. I wondered what her reaction was going to be when she realized that Rose was in on it.
"Breakfast? Coffee? I can meet you right now," it almost bothered me that I wasn't above begging this girl. But then I remembered that I was in love...fucked...whipped...oh yeah. I'll beg.
"What the hell? You know my rules! What are you doing?"
"I'm being persistent."
She didn't respond right away and I worried that maybe I was being too persistent. I twirled my phone on my palm as I wondered what I could say to get her to change her mind. How could I convince her that I would never hurt her, that I...I loved her? Suddenly, I knew.
"Edward Anthony Cullen."
"You told me if I found out his name to let you know. I'm letting you know."
I waited. I waited a long ass time, but she never replied. I felt the disappointment in the pit of my stomach. Fuck! I had never felt this kind of anger...sadness...whatever it was. I didn't know and I didn't like it. Obviously, she didn't want me.
But Rose's voice came back to me like a life preserver, "she likes you a lot. A lot, a lot."
I clung to those words like my life depended on them, and at this point, I really believed that it did. I repeated them over and over as I took the quickest shower in the history of showers and got dressed. As soon as I was presentable, I flew out the door, intent on getting to Bella as soon as possible. Maybe if she could just see me, she would remember that she likes me...a lot, apparently. I stopped short as I exited the building, groaning as I realized I would have to call Emmett again.
Emmett answered on the second ring. I wondered if he and Rose were sitting there waiting for a status update, "hey man, you talk to Bella?"
"What's their address, Em?"
"Yes! She invited you over, didn't she? You dawg!"
"Randy Jackson...just give me her address, moron! We texted for a few minutes but she refused to see me. I'm on my way over there now."
"Ha! Go get her! 435 Smithton Ave. apartment 2B. And Randy Jackson's the shit! Don't knock my boy!"
Now that I had the information I needed, I felt almost giddy. I was going to see Bella in just a few minutes.
I can't believe I just described myself as giddy. Yup. Fucked.
"Emmett, you're a dork. But you're the best. Thanks."
"435 Smithton Ave. apartment 2B," I reminded myself out loud, realizing full well that I looked like a crazy person, talking to himself. I didn't care, Bella's home was only three blocks from my own and within minutes I would be able to see her and touch her and kiss her, and...
No. This isn't about sex. I need to prove to her that I want her.Not just her body, which God yes I want that more than anything, but also, every part of her complex mind. What could I do to prove that to her? Coffee. I needed coffee. That would give me an ice breaker when I just showed up at her door. I can't have sex with her when we're both holding a cup of coffee in our hands...well, I probably could, but I wouldn't want to. Oh, who am I kidding, I'll always want to...but it wouldn't be smart.
I made a detour into the Starbucks on the corner of her street and thanked my lucky stars that it wasn't busy. Ten minutes later, I was armed with two coffees in a drink carrier in one hand and my cell phone, just in case she texted back, in the other. I was full of confidence until I stood staring at the numbers on her building. 435. Bella was in there, somewhere. I swallowed hard and felt that confidence waver. What if she slammed the door in my face?
Well obviously, I would sit in the hallway outside her door and not leave until she agreed to talk to me.
Since I had a plan. A rather sound one at that, I pushed through the front door and headed to the elevator. As I approached, a tall woman with a bad perm looked me up and down.
"Going down?" She purred.
I swallowed the vomit that had risen in the back of my throat, "stairs," I croaked and made a bee-line to the stairwell.
I breathed a sigh of relief and as I stepped onto the first stair, my phone pinged again, scaring me out of my skin.
I was shocked. Beyond shocked. She wants to see me! I was suddenly the most religious man in the world, thanking every god in every language I could think of.
And I may have fist pumped. A little. And I totally deny doing the "Stayin' Alive" walk up the stairs as I replied, "better make it ten seconds. And I got you a large. I hope Starbucks is okay?"
And then...and then... there was apartment 2B. I wanted to chicken out all of a sudden. So I took a breath...and...
And there she was. All brown hair and blushing cheeks and smiling eyes...so...so...pretty.
Yes, Edward Cullen just used the word pretty.
Bella Swan was many things...hot, scorching, sexy, beautiful, gorgeous...Not once in the past ten months did I think I would use the word "pretty" to describe the vixen who had taken over my thoughts and dreams.
But she was. As she stood there holding the door open with the corner of her lower lip between her teeth and her hand reaching up to smooth the back of her hair, she was just so pretty. And lovely. And barefoot. I don't know why, but Bella being barefoot was just the cutest thing I had ever seen.
I wanted to touch her. To pull her lip from its toothy prison and hold the hand that was in her hair. And maybe lick her pretty little toes.
Great. Not only do I say words like "make love" and "pretty", but I also want to hold hands.
She spoke first, "hey".
"Hey," well, aren't we an articulate pair?
Then her shy smile widened as she giggled and stepped aside, "come on in, Edward," and as I walked past her into her apartment, she did the worst thing she could have done at a time like this.
"Mmm, that coffee smells great."
I discreetly adjusted myself as she led me to the couch. I pulled out one of the coffee cups and handed it to her, "I didn't know how you take your coffee so I just got black and figured you could fix it up here..."
Pulling the top off the cup, she stuck her nose in the cup and took a long whiff. Bella then smiled devilishly up at me, "I like my coffee like I like my men. Strong and black."
My jaw dropped to my knees and Bella burst out laughing, "Oh Edward! You should see your face! I'm just kidding...that's something Rose always says and it cracks me up. Actually I prefer tall and..." she trailed off and cocked her head as she looked at me. "Never mind. I need some sweetener, actually."
I shamelessly watched her ass in her faded jeans as she walked into her tiny kitchen and was smart enough to raise my eyes to her face as she walked back to the couch. She seated herself at one end and turned her body to face me, tucking her legs up under her.
"So. I was kind of surprised to get your text this morning," gone was Bella the rock star. This was the shy girl from my class.
She shrugged and looked down at her steaming cup, "well, like I told you last night, most guys don't mind a one night stand."
I chuckled humorlessly and studied my own cup, "idiots," I mumbled. I didn't intend for her to hear, but the way her eyes snapped up to mine, told me she did.
We sat awkwardly for a few minutes, sipping our hot coffee. Everything inside of me was telling me to reach out to her, to move closer. I wanted to feel her skin again. Even just a touch on the back of her hand would have sufficed, but I didn't want to scare her. She seemed jumpy, like the smallest move on my part would chase her away. The last thing I wanted was for her to suddenly decide that she didn't want to see me and to kick me out of her apartment. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye and was surprised to see her looking at me. She looked away immediately, blushing of course. Suddenly, she chuckled.
"What?" I asked.
She shook her head, an amused smile on her face.
Her humor made me smile, as well, "what is it?"
Bella blushed again, "I was just thinking about how "persistent" you are." Yes. She even used air quotes.
I laughed, probably louder than the situation called for, but seeing her so amused was making me happy. I shrugged and continued to smile at her, "so does that mean you'll go to dinner with me tonight?"
Chuckling under her breath, Bella nodded. Her body seemed to relax slightly and conversation flowed easily from that point on. We talked about everything and nothing, just getting to know each other. I didn't hear a thing about her that I didn't like. She told me about growing up in Phoenix with her mom and step-dad and then moving to Washington in the middle of her junior year of high school to be with her father.
"Wait, you're from Forks?" I asked, incredulously.
"Yes. My dad is the chief of police there. I can't believe you've even heard of the town, it's so small."
"I grew up in Port Angeles!" I exclaimed. At least on holidays we'll be able to see both of our parents, instead of having to choose one or the other.
She only agreed to dinner, it would be idiotic to start making plans for our future. Our future...for the first time ever, I kind of liked the sound of those words. I shook my head to clear it of those crazy thoughts.
Bella was looking at me wide eyed, "seriously?" Then she sighed, wistfully, "I'd love to go visit my dad. I haven't had a chance to get out there in awhile. Whenever school is out, I'm playing with the band."
My mouth moved before I had a chance to think about it, "I'd be happy to drive you, if you want to go sometime. I'm planning a trip to see my parents later this summer."
A beautiful smile spread across Bella's face and a warm feeling began bubbling up from my stomach, into my chest, "really? That would be great. I mean, you don't have to go to all that trouble. I have a car and could drive myself, it's just, I always get bored driving by myself. Of course, Rose told me she'd go with me, but I know how she hates..."
I cut off her rambling, "Bella. Really, it's okay. It's not problem at all. I'd love to."
"Thank you," she whispered, locking her eyes on mine. I didn't drop her gaze and the air around us began to spark, just like it always did. My breathing began to pick up and in my peripheral vision, I noticed her chest rising and falling, as hers did the same. I couldn't stop myself this time...I no longer had any control over my own body. Slowly, so very slowly, I reached across the cushion that separated us and lightly brushed two fingers over the back of her hand. Sosoft.Her face flushed and I heard her take a stuttering breath.
"Do you want to hear some music? What kind of music do you like?" Bella sat her empty cup on the coffee table and rushed over to an ipod dock on the far wall of the living room, effectively breaking whatever spell had come over us.
Clearing my throat, I answered, "um, it doesn't matter. I like most kinds of music." I was still reeling from the feel of her skin and I knew that I was a fool if I thought today was going to be completely innocent. I looked down into my lap and glared at my dick, willing him to obey me, just this one time where Bella was concerned. He liked touching her hand as much as I did and was currently trying to say hello to her as well.
Soft piano music filled the air, surprising me and pulling my thoughts away from Bella's skin. "Clair de Lune?"
"Yeah. My dad introduced me to rock and roll, but my mom used to play classical all the time when I was little. I don't know a whole lot. Only my favorites," I could hear the smile in her voice when she spoke of her parents. I closed my eyes and rubbed them with the backs of my hands. Every time I was with this girl, she did or said something that caught me completely off guard. Every single thing about her drew me in, as if she was a drug and I was an addict.
She was still scrolling through her ipod, looking at other songs and didn't see me stand up. I tried to tell myself to sit back down, that I would scare her, but I couldn't listen. My body needed hers like it needed air. Without permission from my brain, my legs carried me to her and my hands reached out and attached themselves to her waist. She stiffened under my hands, "Bella," I whispered into her hair, "I'm so sorry. I hope you don't think that I came here today for sex. That's not why I'm here...at all. I just wanted to get to know you better. But...I can't seem to keep my hands off of you. I can't stay away from you anymore. I don't have the strength."
Bella's whole body seemed to relax and she leaned back into me, "then don't," she whispered, her voice breaking on the last word.
I swallowed thickly and pulled her hair from her shoulder, exposing the side of her neck, where I leaned down and began gently placing soft kisses. After a moment, when Bella raised her arm and tangled her fingers into my hair, I pulled her back flush against my chest. I knew she would be able to feel what she was doing to me and that this would be the moment of truth. I was terrified she would pull away and kick me out.
But she didn't.
She moaned. Loudly.
Moving my hand to her chin, I turned her head to face me and our lips immediately came together. Chastely at first, but when she opened her mouth to take a breath, I used it as my opportunity and slipped my tongue into her mouth, rubbing it along hers. I moaned this time, and without breaking the kiss, I turned her around to face me. The music coming from her ipod dock began to swell and seemed like a perfect accompaniment to our actions. As the tempo increased, so did our hunger for each other. Our kissing became almost frenzied. I finally gave my hands free reign and let them roam where they wanted. The first place they went was to her perfect ass, pulling her up against my body. Bella's hands, that had been scratching at the skin of my lower back, under my shirt, moved between us and began slowly unbuttoning the top buttons of my shirt.
Immediately I pulled back and placed my hand over hers, stopping her actions. Where I found the strength to stop, I'll never know. "Bella, wait. We don't have to do this. This isn't why I came here."
"I know," she nodded, "but I want to...I...don't have the strength to stay away, either." She closed her eyes after her admission and I lifted the hand that had been stilling hers, placing it on her cheek, pulling her lips to mine. I held her precious face with both hands, kissing her slowly and softly while she made quick work of my buttons. I only let go of her when she pushed my shirt off my shoulders and onto the floor.
Bella pulled back, holding only my hand, "follow me," she whispered, and pulled me along behind her down a short hallway and into her bedroom. I didn't take the time to look around and take in my surroundings, I only noticed the bed with a light purple bedspread in the middle of the floor. And Bella. She held all of my attention as she pulled her t-shirt off, over her head. I drew in a deep breath as I looked at her standing there in a virginal, white lace bra. It cupped her breasts so perfectly that I couldn't help reaching out a finger and tracing the swell of her breast. I then moved closer to her and dipped down, running my tongue along the same path that my finger just took. Perfect.
"Yesss..." Bella hissed.
While moving up to her collar bone toward her neck, I cupped one breast with my left hand and grabbed onto her ass again with my right. Every part of her was perfect and for a second, I wished for about six hands, so I could touch here everywhere at once. She groaned incoherently again, and my mind was made up. Both hands went to the button on her jeans. I pulled her jeans and underwear down to her knees then pushed her back, gently, onto her bed so I could take them the rest of the way off. Bella's eyes were locked on mine as I slid my hands up her thighs and settled myself on top of her. Hungrily, she captured my mouth with hers again and didn't hesitate to push me onto my back, attacking my jeans like a mad woman. The lust in her eyes drove me insane with want and as soon as she had the rest of my clothes off, I sat up and grabbed her by the back of her head, threading my fingers into her gorgeous chestnut hair. Her lips were sure to be bruised because of the force with which I slammed her face into mine. There was just no way I could get close enough and the desire was only growing.
Bella broke away, for air or something equally ridiculous I'm sure,"I'm glad you're so persistent," she panted as she pushed me onto my back again and began licking and sucking her way around my neck. As she worked her mouth over me, her hands traveled south, over my chest and abs. After gently scratching her nails over my nipples, her tongue followed. Her hands and mouth on me felt so amazing and when she sucked lightly, I grunted, bucking my hips into the air, looking for friction and finding none. "Awe, poor baby...be patient. Are you looking for this?" and as she spoke, she reached down and wrapped her hand around my hard, aching cock.
"Yes, oh God, Bella..." I moaned, thrusting my hips into her hand. Her mouth was still moving lower and my already rapid breathing stopped when she licked up the underside of my dick, from my balls to the slit. Without hesitation, she wrapped her lips around me and sucked me all the way in until I felt myself hit the back of her throat. "Fuck!" I almost shouted as she began bobbing up and down at a punishing pace, wringing sounds out of me that I had never heard before. I was too close. So so close and as amazing as she felt, I pushed her off of me and onto her knees. I raised up on my knees as well and pulled her face to mine, kissing her with all I had inside of me.
For some reason, Bella still had her bra on and I reached around her back and flipped the clasp open, throwing it to the side quickly so I could get one of her pretty little nipples in my mouth as fast as possible. God, it was so hard and I groaned around it as Bella scratched her nails along my scalp, holding my head in place. I switched my attention to the other breast, licking and sucking like a starving man.
"Edward...please...don't tease..." Bella's voice came out in a breathy sigh.
"You don't like to be teased, baby?" I asked as I raised my head to look at her. Her hair had fallen out of her pony tail and was a riot around her head. With her flushed face and swollen lips, she looked like she had been fucked hard...and I couldn't wait to see what she would look like in about an hour.
She pulled my lips to hers and kissed me hard, "just...I need you...inside me," she ground out between kisses.
With a growl, I turned her around on her knees and pinned her hands to the wall over her head board with one of my hands. The other hand pinched her nipple lightly and when she whimpered, I moved it quickly to the apex of her thighs. Her arousal drenched my hand and her whimpers increased as I teased her opening, moving occasionally to her clit.
"You know what I think?" I asked her. She was too far gone by this point and was presumably beyond words, "I think you deserve a little teasing. A little payback for all those months of torture, having to watch you in class. You were such a little tease. Did you wear those tight jeans and t-shirts for me?"
"Fu-u-u-ck!" she almost sobbed, grinding down onto my hand, "I didn't mean to tease... ungh... please..."
I removed my wet hand from her and she turned her head to glare at me over her shoulder Sohot!The glare changed to pleasure when I grabbed my cock and ran it along her slit, gathering her wetness. I used one of my knees to push hers apart slightly and pushed just my head into her, biting back a moan. Memories from last night flooded through through me at the feel of her heat and I couldn't tease any more. With one loud grunt, I thrust myself completely into her, drawing loud groans from each of us. After a moment of gathering my wits so I wouldn't blow my load in the first thirty seconds, I began a steady rhythm of deep, hard thrusts, encouraged by her breathy moans and cries.
"Yes...yes...oh God, I'm already so close. Oh fuck! Harder, Edward!"
"That's it, Bella, come for me, baby...fuck...so amazing...ungh!" I let go of her hip and threaded the fingers of both hands with hers. The feelings that were flooding through me were threatening to pull me under and push me over the edge at the same time. Bella. She was just everywhere, under me, over me, around me. She was inside of me, just as surely as I was inside of her. Every moan, every cry that fell from her lips pushed me closer to the edge. I let out a sobbing sound of my own and dropped my lips to her shoulder, biting lightly to stifle the cry. Bella turned her head towards mine, her lips seeking me out and I happily obliged, kissing her and wrapping an arm around her perfect waist. She began thrusting back into me as I moved my hand to where we were joined. My tongue kept the same motion around hers as my finger kept around her clit. I circled it once, twice, three times and I felt the tell-tale tightening of her muscles around me. Her climax was so strong that she made no sound at first, other than a soft, whimpering cry into my mouth. I moved from her lips as my own orgasm engulfed me, to simply moan her name.
"Bella, fuck, Bella...God, I love you."
Bella froze beneath me and I suddenly realized what had slipped out, "shit," I whispered. Leave it to me to ruin our post-coital glow. I dropped my forehead to her shoulder, sighing deeply, "shit, I'm sorry Bella...I can't believe I said that out loud, it's just...fuck."
She was still frozen in place, her hands under one of mine on the wall, my cock still inside of her. I was about to move away and give her some space when I heard her voice, soft and almost childlike, despite the animal sex we'd just had.
"Did you mean it?" She hadn't turned to look at me, instead choosing to focus on our fingers that were still entwined. I didn't answer for a second, and she asked again, "did you?"
At this, Bella pulled away from me and spun around so she could look me right in the eyes, "seriously," and it wasn't a not a question, "because if you're just going to play me and leave me in two months...I can't do that. You have to be serious about this, about us."
I took her face in my hands again and brushed her nose with mine before dropping a light kiss on the corner of her mouth, "yes, I'm very serious. I love you, Bella, and I want you. Please believe me..." another kiss on the other corner of her mouth, "please baby," kiss, "I need you," kiss, "I love you," and this time, I kept my lips attached to hers, waiting for her to make the next move and accept what I was offering.
But she surprised me again, "I love you, too," she whispered against my lips before she kissed me back, "and I want you and I need you." At her words, I grabbed her around the waist and tackled her to the bed, still just kissing the shit out of her because we're in love.
Yup, now we're both fucked.
So there you have it! Please read, review and pass along to your friends! It makes a great holiday gift!
While you're here, please check out my full length story, "Into the Light". It's complete and is a quick and easy read.