"Jenova and Sons, this is Riku. How may I help you today?"

"Hi Riku!"

"Hey Sora. How are you?"

"I'm good. Laying on my bed like a bum."

"Obeying the doctor's request for bed rest isn't being a bum. I'm glad you're being safe."

"Mmm. I've got a question for you."

"I've asked you not to call me at work unless it's an emergency, remember?"

"Well, yes. But this is important. I sent you several text messages and left inquiring voicemails and got no reply."

"That might be because I'm working."

"It's a very important question, Riku. One that is integral to the health and future and prosperity of our precious offspring. One that you might regret not answering."

"Fine. If it's really that important—"

"Why can't pregnant people be around cat poop?"

"…Can't you just Google that?"

"Oh, oh yeah! Thanks, Riku. You're a fucking genius."

Riku snorted when the phone line went dead. Only Sora. He went back to pushing papers and rearranging Loz's schedule for the following afternoon (one client just would not quit until they got an appointment at three).

Fifteen minutes later, the phone rang once more.

"Jenova and Sons, this is Riku. How may I help you today?"


"What the fuck." Riku said, then he abashedly covered his mouth because he realized he was at work. "Sora, really."

Sora cracked up. "Naughty Riku, cussing at work."

Riku refused to acknowledge his mistake. "So what's this toxo-nonsense you yelled into my ear?"

"Toxoplasma gondii, Riku! It's an evil parasite that lives in cat poop and eats fetuses!"

"I see."

"What if I have it?" Sora whispered.

"You don't even have a cat. You can't have it. No exposure."

"It's in raw and uncooked meats, too!"

"Raw and uncooked mean the same thing."

"That's not the point!"

"The point is that you don't eat raw meat. Therefore, stop worrying about stupid things."

"I touch it when I cook, though."

"And you wash your hands afterwards."

"What if I didn't wash my hands thoroughly enough?"

"Sora, you're the only person I know that actually sings the birthday song twice while washing their hands. You'll be fine."

"I'm thinking of switching to the itsy bitsy spider song. It's a bit longer."

"Is it really?"

"You know, damn. I don't know. I'll get back to you."


The line went dead. Riku rolled his eyes.

He continued with his work and was unsurprised when the phone rang less than a five minutes later.

"Jenova and Sons, this is Riku. How may I help you today?"

"The itsy bitsy spider is much longer than the happy birthday song! I counted 12 seconds for the latter, so 24 total seconds, while the itsy bitsy spider song was 18 seconds! That's six—no, twelve more seconds total! I also repeated my experiment for accurate data!"

"Your mother must be proud."

"I think it's pretty impressive I remember all the lyrics."

"They're nursery rhymes."

"It's been a long time since I've heard them!"

"Don't lie, I saw you reading that Mother Goose book to your stomach the other day."

"Omigod, really?"

"I took a picture on my phone. It's my background."

"Riku, you bast—!"

Riku was the one who hung up first, and this time there was a smile on his face.

"Uncle Sora?" Demyx peeked his head into the room where Sora was lazing about.

"Nephew Demmy?" Sora sent Demyx a smile, which made the little boy burst into the room at high speed.

"D'you wanna play?"

"What kind of game? Is it a game involving lots of moving and bending over? I'm not good at bending over anymore, and I'm supposed to stay in bed. That's why Cloud's home."

"Right. Your giant walrus tummy." Demyx replied.

Sora chuckled. "A giant walrus tummy?"

Demyx nodded, very serious. "It's a walrus tummy."

"Why not?" Sora rubbed his stomach, amused. "What did you want to play?"

"Oh, right! Well, papa read me a story last night and I realized that the couch is perfect and I need help getting supplies."

Sora sent the four year old a blank look. "Um, and?"

"COVERED WAGON!" Demyx cried. "We must prepare for a long trip across the country!"

"You want to play covered wagon?"

"I need you to make snacks!" Demyx gesticulated wildly. "I will pack games and stuffed aminals and some snuggly blankets."

"And then what?"

"We sit in the wagon!"

"Of course."

"And then we die."

"We die?"

"Yeah, papa said a lot of people died and had desentferry."

" Desentferry? Desentferry." Sora pushed himself up from where he was seated and toddled out of the room, Demyx at his heels. "What's desentferry?"

"Papa said you poop yourself to death."

"Dysentery. You mean dysentery."


"I don't want to die that way. Can we just pretend to get shot?"

"Okay! But we still need snacks!"

Sora nodded and hustled off to the kitchen as effectively as a pregnant man can hustle. He sliced up some apples and got some peanut butter for dipping. When he arrived at the couch, he was unsurprised to see a blanket covering the whole thing.

Demyx popped his head out. "C'mon in! Covered wagon, covered wagon~" He chanted.

Sora grinned and climbed under the blanket. "So, now what?"

"The horses have to pull us to Oregon."

"To Oregon?"

Demyx nodded. "It's a very long trip."


"OKAY WE'RE HERE!" Demyx jumped out from underneath the blanket.

"Um, already?"


"You haven't had any apples yet."

"Oh! Oh, right. Okay, well I revive myself 'cuz I'm magic and I can do that."

"Of course."

"Jenova and Sons, this is Riku. How may I help you today?"

"Why haven't I had a baby shower? Aren't you supposed to be in charge of that sort of thing?"

"Really? Really? That's what you want to talk about right now?"

"I'm just curious, is all."

"Why do you even want a baby shower? You've got everything you need."

"We've got everything we need."

"Yes, right. Still."

"Because it's tradition!"


"You have to follow traditions. It's customary! It's something done repeatedly by a culture! Something passed down from generation to generation! It's a longstanding practice that must be acknowledged!"

"Sounds important."

"Very, very important."

"And why am I in charge of it? Why not your brother?"

"Well, you're speed dial number one!"

"My office is your speed dial number one."

"Well, no. Your cell is. But you have it on voicemail! Why would I call your phone just to get voicemail? Why not call work where I can talk to you immediately?"

"Because I'm working."

"It sounds like you should be planning a baby shower to me."

"You're going to be the death of me."

"Kairi, I have a question."

Kairi juggled her phone from her right hand to her left shoulder, pressing her face against the device to keep it from falling while she was cooking. Axel was perched on her left hip and eyed the phone with a devilish grin. Kairi sent him "the look" and he went back to playing with his stuffed dinosaur on her shoulder.

"What's up, Sora?"

"Who is supposed to be in charge of baby showers? Riku says he won't throw me one."

"He's like the other dad, Sora. Isn't he?"

"As of right now, yes. He's fucking gorgeous. As soon as I stop feeling like a bloated whale we're going to—"

"AND too much information, pal. Let's keep this convo PG. Axel's around."

"Sorry. I'm just really looking forward to—"

"Sora. What did I just say?"

"I was going to say sex, that's all! Isn't that PG?"

Kairi sighed. "Usually, a baby showers is given by close relatives or good friends. Riku's right."

"Oh." Sora sounded a bit dejected. "I want one."

"A baby shower? Why? I thought you'd already gotten everything. I can send you over Axel's baby things, too. Axel's enough for me. Between him and his daddy I've got two kids."

"Oh, did I tell you I'm having twins?"

"Twins!" Kairi gasped. "Oh, that's fantastic! Do you need more stuff for the other baby?"

"No, I got them matching everything."

"Um, they aren't the same person. Why do they have to match?"

"Because it's fucking cute. When they decide they want to do different things, that's totally fine, but I'm going to enjoy having them match while I can!"

"It is a bit cute, I guess. Are they fraternal or identical?"

"I don't know. We'll find out!"

Kairi drained her pasta with a pursed lip. "So if you have everything you need, why do you want a baby shower?"

"I guess I want a baby celebration party."


"I want a cake. I want a damn baby cake, okay? One that's got cute marzipan baby shaped decorations and that makes Riku vomit because it's too adorable to stomach."

"Can't you just order one?"

"I have no reason to."

"When has that ever stopped you before?" Kairi said dryly. "Just get yourself a happy day cake and relax. And stop bothering Riku."

"I think I want a blue cake. With racecars. And I'm not bothering Riku!"

"You continue to call him at work even though he told you it's only for emergencies!"

"How do you even know that?"


"He told you that?"

"He told me his boss gave him a talk about how he was spending the company's time."


"He told you, Sora."

"I know, I didn't mean to get him in trouble."

"Too late."

"Mmm. Thanks Kai. Talk to you later."

"Jenova and Sons, this is Riku. How may I help you today?"

"Hey Riku."


"Just gimme a damn minute." Sora took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, okay? I know I'm not supposed to call you at work, but sometimes I just miss you."


"And sometimes I just want to talk. You know I get bored. This laying around thing is harder than it seems! Sometimes I just need something to do, you know? I hate just lying around by myself. Video games and TV give me a really bad headache after so long. And I've read all the books in my stack."

"I can bring you more books."

"I just want to talk. I didn't mean to bother you. I just… I just get lonely."

"Sora, babe, stop crying. I know. I know it's hard. I'll be over tonight, okay? Just like I've been coming over for months. You're never alone. You're so close, too. Only what?"

"Only one more month."

"See? You can make that easy."

"I just… I can't even move! I feel like a beached whale! I hate this. I hate feeling so needy and emotional and… and I want you to come home now."


"You're always over here anyway and once the babies are born I'll need you and we've been dating for a few months now and please move in with me?"



"Of course I will. Most of my stuff already at your house, anyway. Okay?"

"Okay." There was a pause. "Riku?"

"Yes, Sora? I need to get back to work. I'll be home as soon as I can, but I can't get off work on such a short notice. I'm sorry."

"I love you."

"Oh." Riku mumbled quietly. "Oh, Sora. I love you too. So much."

"I miss you. Please come home?"




"I need you."



"Okay! Okay. Stop with that whiny voice. I'll come home."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now try to get some rest. I'm coming home right now." Riku sighed as he hung up the phone. He raked his fingers through his hard.

The last couple of months had been an absolute joy. He and Sora were everything he'd ever dreamed of. However, Sora's mood swings had rapidly increased as his due date approached and Riku was not sure how much more of it he could take.

But he loved Sora. People deal with stupid, crazy things when they're in love.

A/N: I know this is late. Sorry. This time video games aren't to blame, it's Axis Powers Hetalia. (!)

I probably won't get to my review responses from the last chapter, either, but thank you all very much for your reviews! This chapter was kind of hard. I want to just fast forward to the actual interesting parts, so I did. Sorry if it's a bit dialogue-y.