Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The Hangover movie belongs to Warner Brothers. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization. ©2011 chartwilightmom. All rights reserved worldwide.

Beta'd by the wickedly funny dandiegoose who loves The Hangover as much as I do.

Pre-read by the motorboatable lemonmartinis


Saturday ~ Hair of the Dog

"Don't mother me." Renee steps forward and grabs my left hand bring up to her face for closer inspection.

Once she huffs a few times, turning my hand to look at my latest spending spree. She pulls me aside from the wedding party. Renee would never yell at me in front of a crowd, she prefers to do it behind closed doors, but I can tell from the look on her face, that this particular conversation can't wait.

"Did you get married?" she says through her fake grin on her face.

"Does it really fucking matter, Mother?" I always call Renee mother. It pisses her off to no end. She told me when I was little to call her mom, that mother sounded so old. I picked up that bit of information then and never stopped.

"Yes, it matters. You are a Swan."

"Renee," my father says interrupting her. "Bella is an adult, if she wants to get married, she can."

Renee glares at my father before bringing her line of questioning back to me. "Was it that Demetri?" she asks, with disgust in her voice.

"What? Why the hell would you say that?"

"Who's Demetri?" Edward says coming up behind me.

Renee gasps as Edward wraps his arms around me, giving me a kiss on my neck.

"No one," I reply.

Renee is in shock, and I'm not sure if it is from the fact that I'm married or how handsome Edward is. "Is this your new husband?" she sneers.

I grin, not really thinking before now how much this would piss my mother off. Another fucking plus to this situation. "Mother, Father, I'd like to introduce you to Edward Cullen, my husband."

Edward lets me go, comes to stand beside me and extends his hand. Renee shakes her head as my father extends his own to shake.

"Nice to meet you, son."

"Nice to meet you, sir."

"Call me dad. Anyone who can tame our Bella deserves to call me dad."

"Dad," Edward corrects himself.

"Isabella, this conversation is not over. Tomorrow, brunch." My mother states quickly, before gliding off with a new fake smile to speak to guests.

"Bella," my dad starts. "I'm looking forward to hearing this story. Edward."

Charlie walks off, not to find my mother, but right to the bar to get a refill.

"Who's Demetri?"

I sigh, knowing that Edward will have to deal with whatever my past bring, if he is going to be apart of my life. "Demetri is head of our sales department. I've taken him as my 'date' to company functions from time to time." Using air quotes to describe him.

"A previous boyfriend?"

"Actually no. I haven't had a boyfriend since middle school."

"Middle school?"

"Yeah. Something wrong with that?"

"I just thought that I would have to beat off a boyfriend when I got here."

I huff, a thought floating through my head. "Hmm, I don't think I've ever brought a man home before."

"This is your home?"

"It's my parents. I live in the city."

"Speaking of your parents, your mom doesn't seem to be to happy with your decisions."

"My mom wouldn't accept anything less than John Kennedy, Jr."

"High expectations."

For the first time, Edward looks really nervous. "Don't worry, her opinion is the last one that I'm looking for."

Edward and I rejoin the group as the wedding moves into the reception.

Vic and James look very happy and lost in each other as they embrace each other during their first dance. He is whispering to her and she is nodding her head. I can only imagine what he might be telling her.

With Edward to my left, we sit watching the dance floor. He is sweetly holding my left hand up to his lips, unconsciously brushing back and forth over my knuckles.

The sensation builds as he continues, and I try to focus my attention on the happy couple in front of us.

"Edward," I moan.

"Hmm."

He gives my rings a kiss and lowers our hands to his lap.

Well, hello there.

It seems as though I'm not the only one affected by touch.

Before I come to a point of throwing Edward on the table and giving everyone here a show, I remove myself and run inside to the bathroom.

After refreshing up and breathing deeply to calm my body down, I leave to find Rose waiting for the bathroom.

"Wait for me," she says as we exchange places. "We need to talk." Rose gives me a look that is between begging for me to give her advice and letting her give me advice.

When she comes out, we link arms and walk slowly through the house, taking the long way to join the reception again.

"We really were fucking lucky this weekend. We could have lost Vic."

"Yeah, I know," I say, pausing. "I can't thank you enough for what you did, Rose."

Rose huffs and squeezes my arm tighter, "Nah, I would have done that for the fucking fun alone."

I stop and turn to her, "No, Rose. You really wouldn't have. I don't know what choice we had…" my words trail off.

"Shhh," Rose coos. "We got her back. Don't worry about anything."

"I can't fucking help it," I say, sniffing slightly. "But, you're right, we got her back, and now she's married."

We begin walking again, approaching the doors that are open to the outside porch. Beyond the brick wall surrounding the porch is the reception.

"And I have a tattoo with Emmett's name. Jesus fucking Christ. What the hell was I thinking?"

"You weren't."

"And you got married?"

"Yeah, but if could have been worse."

"How is that?"

"It could have been someone really ugly."

We laugh and talk a little more, highlighting some of the moments of the weekend.

"So, now that you are married, what are you going to do about Edward?"

"I don't know, but I think I'll start with a dance with my new husband," I say nodding to the yard, seeing Edward and Emmett talking on the other end of the dance floor.

"What about you and Emmett. Are you going to kill him later?"

"Hmm," she hums, pondering. "I'm like you, I don't really know. But one thing I do know," she pauses. "If I'm going to have his name on my body for the rest of my life, then he is going to have mine on his."

She looks at me and there is that wicked gleam in her eye. I shake my head and laugh before we give each other a strong hug.

We start onto the dance floor and I see Edward, he's watching me. We meet on the dance floor and he sweeps me into his arms and spins us around.

I throw my head back and laugh.

"So, what the fuck am I going to do with you now?"

"Be my wife," he grins.

"Hmm, that's very tempting," I joke with him. "But don't you want to know what you are getting yourself into first?"

"And what would that be besides this fun and beautiful woman that I am holding in my arms?"

"I work," I start. "A lot. I actually don't have to fucking work, but I prefer to so that I don't end up bored."

He looks at me, his eyes full of questions. So I decide to offer him some information on me. He's going to find out sooner or later. Brunch being the first eye opener for him.

"I'm heir to Swan's Closet."

"Come again?"

"My dad started Swan's Closet before I was born. I've been groomed to be the new CEO."

Edward gulps. "The lingerie shop? The one that is in every mall all over America."

"And Europe with plans for Japan and Australia."

He gapes at me, his mouth opening and shutting. I'm just waiting for him to say this is too much and run.

We dance a little more, and awkward silence falls over us.

But the funny thing is there is nothing awkward about dancing in his arms. Everything feels comfortable and right. I don't know Edward very well, but he seems very protective of me. And I just put him through hell for the past twenty-four plus hours. If anyone is willing to help me and my friends, well, I'm willing to give him a shot.

"Bella."

"Edward."

"Can you move the headquarters to Vegas?"

"I'll see what I can do," I smirk at him. "But first, I believe you own me a proper wedding night," I smirk at him. "One I will actually remember."

He raises his eyebrows at me before giving me a cocked grin and leaning in to press his lips to mine once.

"Oh, I can certainly do that."

Edward smiles brightly and spins us around on the dance floor. My body naturally clings to his, while Edward holds me, our cheeks touching.

"Now," I whisper.

Without a word, I find myself at the edge of the dance floor as Edward grabs my hand and pulls me towards the house.

"Where?" he mumbles as he reaches for the door at the back patio door. I think for a moment, somewhere quiet and private.

"Upstairs," I tell him, and point to the stairs.

We make our way upstairs and I take the lead, weaving Edward through the hallways until we reach a darkened space. I reach for the doorknob, turn and pull us through.

"Where are we?" Edward whispers.

"Linen closet."

A moment later, I find myself backup against what I can assume is the island in the middle of the small room. There are towels and sheets folded and lying on it, giving cushion to the edges.

Edward's hands are everywhere, feeling and touching, begging to find more skin for his fingers. His mouth descends from my mouth to my neck, and continues until he finds the swells of my breasts.

My hands work to remove his suit jacket, then work to remove his tie and undo the buttons on his dress shirt. His hands work their way around my body, finding the zipper on the back of my dress, sliding it down.

As my dress pools on the floor, he removes his mouth from my breasts and holds my hand to allow me to step out of the dress. I don't waste time in reaching for his pants, unbuckling, zipping and pushing down his legs.

"Condom?" I mumble to Edward, realizing that we still need protection, even with me on the shot. So far, I'm assuming that we have been careful, from the evidence that was in my bathroom trashcan, and we need to continue until we figure things out.

Edward reaches for the pile of clothes and finds his pants on top. He grabs for the back pocket and pulls out a small strip of condoms.

I raise an eyebrow at him, "Expecting a few rounds?"

"More than a few. I plan to love you," he states quietly. I can't help but think he has a double meaning with his words.

Instead of talking anymore, I grab the strip, rip off the first one, open it and roll it on.

Edward spins us around, pushing me against the table, lifting me up to sit me on the edge, leaving my entrance at the perfect height for him.

We kiss as he strokes his cock, preparing us both. He pushes the head of his cock slowly, in and out, without full penetration. The sensations cause me to moan and Edward to let out a deep growl.

His hands are gripping my sides, holding me firm while he moves. With each small thrust, they start to become deeper, pushing until finally his hips are flush against my body and he has filled me. Then, he stops, kisses more tenderly than he ever has, stroking my face with one hand.

"Bella," he whispers.

I can sense what he wants to say, that this feeling, this connection between us is more than physical. Emotions are flowing through us right now, our bodies recognizing it before us. "I know."

He kisses me again as he begins to move in and out of me slowly. My body is hyper-aware of the sensations that he is building in me, curling and tightening like a spring.

The need for more is great.

I grab his back with one hand, wrap my legs, hooking them and digging them into his ass as my other hand finds purchase in his hair.

Tugging slightly, he stops kissing me, but keeping his mouth on my skin, moving down my neck, until he is finally panting against my skin. His thrusting becomes harder, with each stroke more intense. My body reacts as my release builds higher and higher.

"Yes!" I scream out as I fall over the edge.

Edward plunges off the same edge, grunting my name into my neck as I feel his cock pulse inside me.

We remain connected, soft touches and caresses from each of us as we come down from our highs.

"Wow," Edward mumbles.

I giggle.

"Something funny, Mrs. Cullen?"

"Swan-Cullen."

"Really?"

I raise an eyebrow at him "I don't know; it has a nice ring to it."

After cleaning ourselves up, we make our way back downstairs in time to see Vic and James cut the cake.

The party starts to slow and I find myself lounging on the couches on the patio with Alice and Rose. Vic looks utterly happy. James comes to sit down beside her until his arms comfortably wrapped around her, and he is whispering in her ear and continually kissing her neck.

As Edward and Emmett leave the bar to come join us, I reflect on the wedding as a success, even though we were an hour late getting the bride to the wedding.

"Swan, so are you going to tell me what really happened in Vegas?"

"Oh, James. Remember, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

I don't think we could ever tell him what really happened. If he found out that Vic was kidnapped, he might actually go back and try to kill Black.

And as much as I would love to see that ass get what's coming to him, I don't want Vic to loose her groom so soon.

"Hey, look what I found," Jasper shouts coming out onto the balcony.

We all turn to look.

"My camera," Alice says.

"Oh dear, lord," I gasp.

"It can't be that bad," Rose tells me.

"You wanna bet?" I ask her.

"Yeah, I bet you…." Rose starts, as I stop her holding my hand up.

"No bets. I don't think I could survive," I laugh.

Alice laughs at us, "Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned."

"Okay, we will look at these once, then delete them. Got it?" I suggest.

Everyone nods and we all gather around Alice as she turns it on and starts flipping through the images.

"Holy fucking…"


A/N: So I'm not sure where I'm going to take this story, but I do have some ideas on expanding a bit more so don't worry, you will get some closure on these crazy characters. I'm hoping going to see The Hangover II this weekend will inspire me as well. If I could manip pictures for this fic I would do it in a heartbeat, that would be so funny.

Don't forget to go read all the entries for the Beautiful Bellies contest. I have an entry in there and voting started already, ends on June 1.
www . fanfiction . net/u/2791564/ Beautiful_Bellies