There were so many good things he almost didn't know where to start. He ran his fingers over the careful piles along the counter; plain black dress, red lingerie, black flats –he smiled because these looked like the work of the Athosians- three dark blue disposable razors with what he recognized as Radek's spare can of shaving cream that had been under the sink, black mascara, black eyeliner, and a slightly gaudy shade of pink lipstick. It wasn't nearly what he'd had, hidden in a storage locker in a shady place just south of Phoenix, but it was more than he ever thought he'd have again. It was the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for him.

He ran his hand over the neatly folded dress one more time then stepped back. This was threatening to overwhelm him. A deep breath, in, hold, then out- just like Teyla taught him- and he gathered himself.

He lifted his head to study his reflection in the mirror for a moment. Just like riding a bike. He moved the razors and shaving cream to a spare space on his shelf in the shower and started undressing.

Even Atlantis can't make the first seconds of a shower anything but downright chilly so he let the water run just long enough for another deep breath before he stepped inside. He propped a foot up and reached for the cream. It felt cool and slick as he ran it over his leg. He stretched one hand behind him to rinse it off and reached for a razor. This was it. He wanted it so bad he was giddy with it but there was still an odd nervousness about taking the first step. Like parachuting or bungee jumping it didn't matter how much you knew you liked it, how much you'd been looking forward to it, there would always be a few butterflies. It was part of the attraction.

He slid the razor up his leg and grinned. Just like that, he'd started it. And he was going to finish it. He tapped the razor against the side of the shower. It had left a lot of hair behind. If Radek had had scissors in his quarters he could have cut most of the hair off to start with then moved on to the razor but this was ok. He didn't have a problem spending most of an hour shaving- after such a long time he was going to enjoy it.

Atlantis more than made up for the cool start by an endless supply of hot water and John was never more thankful for that than he was right now. He was sure half an hour must have gone by and he was only just finishing his legs. He reached down and gave a quick swipe over his toes- because it just wouldn't be right to wear women's sandals with hairy toes- then moved under the spray to rinse the drying shaving cream off. Next he'd have to do his chest and underarms, and then he wanted to tidy up his pubic hair so those pretty red lace panties would look really nice on him.

When he finally did make it out of the shower- smooth, pink, and pruney- he swiftly went about the much more mundane task of an extra close shave over his face. There were times he'd tried everything from bleaching to waxing to get rid of the ever present shadow but today all that mattered was the feel. He couldn't risk more and he didn't really have to make a show of this.

No aftershave or cologne- he didn't want to smell too masculine tonight. He didn't have any scented lotion or perfume but there are some things he just wouldn't give up if at all possible so he opened his drawer for the lotion he did have. It was plain enough, unscented and cheap, so as to not draw attention on the Deadalus, but gentle enough to use on his face. He worked his way slowly from head to toe, massaging the lotion gently into his skin. Rodney would never let him live it down if he ever let on that he did put effort into his appearances, well, maybe that was harsh- he suspected Rodney cared enough not to push it if he made it clear that it truly bothered him, and maybe it might if Rodney was socially aware enough to guess how close he was but he knew better than to read that much into Rodney's behavior. Teyla and Ronon wouldn't know or care enough about Earth social mores to give it a second thought.

To give the lotion more time to dry, and to luxuriate in the smooth feel of his body while he was still alone, he wandered around Radek's quarters setting up the little card table and a folding chair by the bed and lighting a few flowery scented candles.

God, he loved this. He'd forgotten just how much. Just the way the air felt, unhindered, against his skin. He couldn't stop from smoothing his hands over his chest or against his thighs every few seconds. It sent Goosebumps up his spine and made his whole body shiver.

He knew he was reasonably attractive. He tried not to play off it, and didn't see it much himself, but he knew others thought so. But now, like this, he really felt beautiful. Desirable. When he was younger he would have gone so far, as cliché as it is, to say pretty, but now, well, pretty was for those with less time behind them and fewer cartloads of baggage. So maybe he wasn't exactly pretty anymore but, he chuckled, he'd still make a damn fine cougar.

Running a distracted hand up and down his chest he glanced at the clock. Just under an hour until Radek would be back. Getting dressed and doing his makeup today would be quick and easy so he still had time. He pulled open the doors to the balcony, not quite brave enough to step outside, despite knowing none of the surrounding towers were occupied, but enjoying the evening breeze all the same. Radek's room was further from the gateroom than his, set at an angle that meant he couldn't see the sun setting, but one of the rising moons was straight ahead.

A cool breeze swept over him and he trembled, Goosebumps spreading. The hand on his chest slid lower, warm against the air, with the other traveling up and down the length of his side. He trailed his fingertips around the new, neat, edge of his pubic hair- across his lower abdomen and down the crease where his torso met his thigh. Another gust sent a new shiver down his spine, warming him from the pit of his stomach. Thumbing his balls for a second he closed his eyes and let himself melt into all the sensations he'd been missing for so long. He brought his hands away quickly before he could become truly aroused. It would be worth the wait, he was sure.

Another glance at the clock showed only forty minutes until Radek would be back so John made his way back to the bathroom.

He pointed his toes and slid his legs into the panties. Gorgeous red lace in a boyshort cut with scalloped edges. Women got to wear the most amazing underthings. His skinny hips were both a blessing and a curse. They meant that he had to go through all kinds of hoops to get the allusion of curves but it also meant that most women's sizes would fit him.

He turned slowly on the spot, sneaking glimpses in the mirror and tilting his ass out, as he ran his hands over the lace, unnecessarily smoothing the material. He had a muscular ass but it was also a bit flat. These panties made it look round and high. He shimmied, just to enjoy the feel, as he reached for the bra. He fastened it and pulled it on then studied it for a moment. It was a smaller cup size, maybe a B, but the fabric was still loose over his skin and when he smoothed it down the lace caught on his nipples. Nice. He didn't want to go through the trouble of stuffing it, anyway. Not that he didn't want to go all out for Radek, he would if he could, but tonight was a casual night in and the clothes wouldn't stay on much more than an hour. Another couple of spins for the mirror and he was ready to move on.

He often had cause to thank whatever powers may be that his hands were still as steady as ever but rarely did he have such a happy reason for it as now- watching the eyeliner go on evenly and making long sweeps with the mascara brush. He fluttered his eyelashes and smiled at his reflection. Lovely.

The dress was simple. Just above the knee. A-line. Straps maybe an inch wide with a scooping neckline. It took some work but he got the zipper up and the clasp done. Leaning forward to grab his hair gel he pouted into the mirror. He used more gel than normal, spiking it up and out so it might pass as a pixie cut.

Pouting again, he applied a coat of lipstick and smacked his lips. He grinned as he struck a few poses for the mirror. Oh, yeah. He looked good.

Slipping the sandals on John walked back into the room. Eight minutes. Radek wasn't nearly as bad as Rodney but he still probably wouldn't be early, especially if he was trying to make sure John got all the time he needed. So John sat on the chair, a little sideways with one knee crossed over the other so he could swing his foot and show off his calves, and tried to wait patiently.

The door slid open right on time and John was ready, his head tilted seductively so he could look up from under his eyelashes. Radek moved carefully into the room with two trays from the mess hall. He hovered near the door for a few moments, clearly flustered and a bit gobsmacked. John smiled shyly and casually fidgeted with the hem of the dress, pulling it higher up his thigh. Radek swallowed and carefully moved closer to set the trays on the table.

"You look beautiful."

John dropped the coy act and smiled unguardedly up at Radek, reaching for his hand, "Thank you." He's sure they both knew he wasn't talking about the compliment.

Dinner conversation was decidedly lacking because Radek kept getting distracted and John kept deliberately doing things to facilitate distraction. Every time he played with the neckline of the dress, pulling at the straps and maybe showing a bit of red bra strap, Radek would forget what he was saying. It was a truly heady feeling.

He could tell that Radek liked this a lot. He was flushed and squirming characteristically. It was obviously a turn on for him, which was really all John could have hoped for. He didn't know if Radek understood why he liked to dress up but it didn't matter because all John needed was for him to be ok with it, and by the looks of things that wasn't going to be an issue.

When it's clear that Radek is beyond the point where he's still trying to look like he's eating John reaches for his hand and pulls him up into a kiss. He's leaving pink lipstick all over Radek's mouth but he doesn't seem to mind so he backs them toward the bed, scooting into place and pulling Radek down on top of him.

Radek pulls away, gasping, "Don't you-"

John is working his way down Radek's neck now, derailing him slightly before he tries again, "So much trouble- only got an hour."

John chuckles, "Next time."

And he means it- next time they have a day off he'll spend all day in Radek's quarters dressed up, but for now he's still riding that heady rush of the first time after so many years and he's tired of waiting.

When Radek pulls back, kneeling between his legs, John kicks off the sandals and squirms- rucking the skirt up higher so his legs can fall open further. Radek is running his wide, blunt hands up John's legs and the calluses catch- his skin is so sensitive and smooth like it hadn't been before. The dry warmth of his hands move higher, helping John scoot the black dress up. John lifts his hips so Radek can push it up to his stomach.

His breathing stutters for a moment as Radek runs his fingertips over his length. He's still in the panties and the lace feel rough and harsh dragging against his sensitive skin.

"Okay?" Radek asks quietly, already bending down to kiss and lick his bare stomach, leaving cooling trails.

"Yeah." He breaths, "Good, Radek, it's really good."

Radek's hands continue to push the dress up his chest, following the wake of bare skin with lips and teeth. The black dress is bunched up under his armpits and John tries to helpfully wiggle out of it without disturbing Radek's ascent but Radek tugs it back down.

"Keep it on." He asks, nibbling on John's lower lip, "please?"

It's all John can do to mutter a breathy, "yeah," into Radek's mouth before getting in a few nibbles of his own.

Radek's hands find John's nipples through the lace bra and start rubbing just the way John likes. He doesn't pinch or pull but the coarseness of the lace has his nipples hard and sensitive in a moment. Then there's a hot mouth and tongue and the wetness bleeds through the fabric making him gasp and his whole body tenses and relaxes by turns, unsure what it wants but wanting nonetheless.

"I want…" Radek pecks at his lips, drawing back just enough to mumble the words, "Can I fuck you? John?"

The thing is-John loves getting fucked. Loves how it feels getting pinned down, face buried in the pillow, or legs wrapped around Radek's waist, or riding him, letting gravity pull him down into the cradle of Radek's hips, but he also loves to fuck just as much. The real thing is; Radek doesn't. He'll never let John down if John really wants it but most of the time, if it's all the same to John, Radek wants to get fucked. So this, right here, is new.

"Really?"

Radek nods, settling closer and letting John take more of his weight. His face is buried in John's neck and he can feel Radek's lips move against his smooth skin.

"It's just…" A hand comes up and rubs at one of the bra cups, cupping a nonexistent breast, "you're so…"

John cuts him off, "yes, god, yes, Radek." Because he gets it. It's the contrast; big, strong, Lt. Colonel Sheppard, bane of Wraith and Genii and superior officers everywhere, all dolled and moaning on the end of Radek's cock. He wants it so bad.

"Yeah, please."

One more kiss, breathless and needy, and he's pushing Radek back, spreading his legs, and reaching up to push his palms into the wall so he won't pull Radek right back down. He doesn't want it to end like this.

Radek's already moving, reaching under the mattress for the lube and a condom. They're set by John's hip before Radek's hands reach for the panties. He toys with them a moment, biting his lip and shooting a look up at John's face. Then John's legs are pulled up, his calves on Radek's shoulders, and the back of the panties is pulled up, over the curve of his ass. The front, though, stays pretty much where it is. In this position his thighs are holding the front of the lace panties across his belly, leaving his cock trapped, the underside overly sensitive from the lace that shifts against it with every move.

Then Radek's got the lube open and is pushing a finger deep into John. He leans down; positioning John's legs with his free hand so that his knees are still bent and the panties stay in place. John rests his feet on Radek's shoulders, toes flexing into the muscle there when Radek pushes a second finger into him and starts sucking wet spots all down John's cock through the lace.

A third finger goes in a bit too soon but Radek just holds his hand in place and lets John rock back and forth on his fingers, acclimating to the stretch. When he focuses for a moment he can feel the muscle loosen and give.

"Ok, ok, enough. I'm ready. C'mon."

"Pushy," Radek grumbles but the fingers disappear and he can hear the condom wrapper being opened as Radek leans up, between John's knees, for a kiss. Then, suddenly, John's legs are back over Radek's shoulders and his breath catches in his throat as the blunt head of a cock slides slow and sweet into him.

It's been ages since he's been fucked like this, not just strong and steady, but with the itch of lace moving against him in synch with the rocking of his hips, and back of a bra digging into his back as it's twisted by their movement, an underwire digging deliciously into his pecs. When he licks his lips he can taste a hint of Radek and lipstick. And it's all so fucking perfect he lets himself float there, just feeling.

Occasionally Radek's rhythm stutters but these moments have compensations, like Radek's fingers trailing over lace or into sweaty dips, or even lips and teeth teasing the inside of his thigh.

Eventually the tension's pulling at him and he's rocking harder into Radek's thrusts, the slick dragging sensation becoming all-consuming. More, he just wants more.

He's sure he's breathing too hard for actual words but Radek still responds. He has to lock his arms over his head, hands spread wide over the wall, for leverage.

"Please, yes, please."

It doesn't matter whose talking because Radek's hand finds its way into the panties, the warmth almost unbearable as he trails his palm over John's cock. His fingertips trailing as far down as John's balls before wrapping awkwardly around his width and moving just enough in counterpoint to his thrusts that before John knows it he's gasping, trying to find the breath to call out Radek's name, and sliding into an orgasm that shatters him.

He comes back panting, boneless and blissed out, with Radek still moving. It's sending aftershocks through him, pleasurable but almost too much.

"John," Radek huffs out, so John clenches down and draws on his last vestiges of energy to rock against him again. There's a long, loud, moan as Radek buries himself deep, pushing in as far as he can, and holding himself taut over him.

John can't hold it anymore. He relaxes his arms, helping Radek roll to the side, and limply stretches his legs out.

After a few minutes he has his breath back and the mess in his panties is starting to get uncomfortable. He hobbles to his feet, pulling off the dress, damp from sweat, and the bra, and tosses them to the floor. In the bathroom he peels off the lace and grabs a washcloth for himself. He tosses it out onto Radek's stomach a moment later and stoppers the sink, filing it with warm water and soap and letting the panties soak. They'll be good as new. The washcloth lands at his feet as he's making his way back to bed.

"Hey," he says quietly as he settles in at Radek's side. Radek hums and kisses his forehead, "thanks."

John kisses him back, "I should be saying that."

"Call it even."

John laughs but sets his head back down, tired now and ready to drift off to Radek's breathing and his hand rubbing soothingly up John's back and into his hair.