A brown hare appeared on the television. She was sitting behind what appeared to be a news desk. "We interrupt your regularly scheduled program, The Jetsons: Where Are They Now?, to sell you something seemingly useless..."
Three clicks were heard over the speakers and a voice interrupted, "Uh...Kaoru, the Jetsons aren't even born yet, those tapes came from the future. There is no Where Are They Now show. These people were watching Pokemon. Don't make up show names; you're supposed to be a professional. Also, I don't think calling your product seemingly useless will rack up sell numbers."
"Like, I said...We interrupt your regularly scheduled program Digimon..."
"Right, that. To sell you something useless...I didn't say seemingly this time," Kaoru smiled widely at the air.
"I give up!" The voice yelled as three clicks were heard over the speakers again.
"All around the world, or at least the tri-state area, kids are buying the HOTTEST toy out there. SONIC: LET'S PLAY TAG! This toy looks EXACTLY like Sonic the Hedgehog. And not only that, but this product is actual speed of over 700 mph! That's right! You can play tag with what seems to be the EXACT Sonic the Hedgehog!
"You'll have hours of fun playing tag with this toy! All you have to do is take this toy out of the box, push the button on its foot, and Sonic starts the game. Then, all you have to do is TRY to outrun him. Yeah, that's right. ALL you have to do is TRY and outrun the guy that can run over 700 miles an hour. HA! Yeah. Good luck with that. After Sonic tags you, it's your turn to tag him. Then it goes back and forth, we all know how the game works.
"Because Sonic is so fast, we can pretty much guarantee that you WON'T win this game and you most like WON'T EVER see him again after he tags you. Doesn't that sound like loads of fun? OF COURSE IT DOES! And you can have this VERY ENTERTAINING toy for only $5,678,789,987.99 If you happen to be unhappy with this toy, (Which I pretty much can guarantee you will) you can return it for about 1/10000 of what you paid for it! Well, that's if you can catch it and put it back into the box, and only then.
"Now, let's hear from some of our very happy customers:"
Knuckles the echidna appeared on screen and he seemed to be laughing, "WHAT? THERE'S A SONIC TOY? WHAT STUPID PERSON THOUGHT OF THAT?"
Someone from off-camera said, "You know that little chocolate brown hare? Kaoru?"
Knuckes snorted, "I'm surprised the toy wasn't Shadow."
"Actually, I think she's working on it..." the camera guy said again.
The camera skipped over to some guy off the street that looked highly confused, "Sonic: Let's play tag? I bought that thing two weeks ago and haven't seen it since!"
The camera skipped yet again to a little girl that was crying loudly. "MY SONIC TOY STAYS RUNNING AROUND MY HOUSE IN CIRCLES! I CAN NEVER CATCH IT! AND WHEN I TRY IT JUST STANDS THERE AND TAUNTS ME! IT LAUGHS AT ME AND MAKES FUN OF ME! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" The little girl ran off wailing.
"YOU SEE? This is a fabulous toy that everyone loves! You'll never be bored with this toy! Come by my store, Kaoru's Toyland, any time to purchase one! Warning: We are not responsible for any mental or physical trauma this toy may cause. We are also not responsible for loss of limbs.
"Now we shall return you to your regularly scheduled program, So You Think You Can Limbo!"
"The were watching Pokemon!" the exasperated voice called.
This is a random product I came up with today and just HAD to write it down.
Sorry for the OC, Kaoru is an OC. She's a chocolate hare who really likes Shadow.
Warning: Kaoru's Toyland is not an actual store. (Just in case you didn't know)
For more fun with Kaoru read New Girl In Town.
Kaoru calls him Mr. Disembodied Voic because she has never actually SEEN her director except for the day she hired him. She never sees him face to face and therefore forgot (Or perhaps thought it funner to forget) that he isn't "Just a voice" She will only evercall him 'Mr. Director' or 'Mr. Disembodied voice.' His identity is unknown.