Isaac always said he had a problem. But then, Isaac wasn't around anymore, was he? And good riddance. Now he could finally bare his real feelings to the world and embrace his one true love…

His favorite sofa-chair.

The deep red cushions called to him, begging to be touched, caressed— loved. And now, he was eager to do just that.

"Oh baby, you're mine now," Hector purred, running a dominating hand across the wooden frame of the chair, admiring how shiny and hard it was. He didn't remember stripping himself of all his clothing, but he supposed that was just a sign of how deeply he needed this. As he sat in the velvety seat, Hector couldn't imagine any greater feeling in the entire world.

The sofa-chair purred, eager and ready for him. "Oh, take me now, Hector!"

Wasting no more time, Hector ground himself against the softness of the chair, relishing in the warm friction that built both within himself and between his love. With one final thrust, he threw his head back and cried out.

It was at that moment that Julia walked into the room. "Hector, no!"

But it was already too late. Hector had left his mark of love on his favorite chair, and now there was no going back.

Seven days later, they were wed and lived a happy life together forever.

LateNiteSlacker's notes:

1 - Hector, I'm sorry, baby, but this just had to be written.

2 - I hope you all laughed as much reading this as I did writing it!

3 - This was a challenge response to the kink-meme. Yeah, I wrote it.

4 - What? No! This has nothing to do with Modern Problems... jeez, people...

5 - Review?